I turned 17 in the spring of 1982. That year, my girlfriend's family

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Originally Posted by Burney

I initially read that as 'arsehole', which made it even more disturbing if anything.

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Note that it refers to a 'Greek bird', b. The coarse hairs were certainly not confined to the chesticles.

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Originally Posted by Pokster

Not the natural choice of places to escape to.....

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Her mate's parents' place was there. :shrug: Never went into Mother Shipton's Cave. Thought about it, but then remembered it was owned by Paul Daniels.

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Originally Posted by Burney

Her mate's parents' place was there. :shrug: Never went into Mother Shipton's Cave. Thought about it, but then remembered it was owned by Paul Daniels.

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He soon got rid of it when the council wouldn't let him build a huge cafe by the river..... allegedly the oldest tourist atraction in the UK

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Originally Posted by Sir C

He is carrying a bit of timber now tbh. He might be sporting mantits.

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Slow down now soldier, John 8:7 is all I have to say.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Slow down now soldier, John 8:7 is all I have to say.

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I am like an anorexic racing snake, sw.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

I am like an anorexic racing snake, sw.

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Racer snake.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Racer snake.

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Bosnian fullback?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Do you have any romantic memories involving odd places, dubious music or fat ugly women?

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I was 24 or 25, on the 23rd of June at the Rosthwaite campsite in Borrowdale. She was a scouser, very beautiful, and very sexifull. I had split up with my long-term girlfriend and was ready for a new romantic encounter. I had cast a spell of lurve at Castlerigg Stone circle a few hours before I saw her and knew that she was for me. I put my tent up in record super-efficient time and she was well-impressed. Nice stuff subsequently happened in her caravan.

The soundtrack was Pink Floyd (Dark Side, Meddle, Animals) and the drugs were hashish and acid.

The relationship ended some months later after one of her other boyfriends (I didn't know that she collected them without telling any of us this), who was a squaddie, was trying to hammer down the door of her flat to get to us.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Bosnian fullback?

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Albanian, I think.

http://www.balkaninsight.com/en/arti...prime-minister

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Originally Posted by Ash

I was 24 or 25, on the 23rd of June at the Rosthwaite campsite in Borrowdale. She was a scouser, very beautiful, and very sexifull. I had split up with my long-term girlfriend and was ready for a new romantic encounter. I had cast a spell of lurve at Castlerigg Stone circle a few hours before I saw her and knew that she was for me. I put my tent up in record super-efficient time and she was well-impressed. Nice stuff subsequently happened in her caravan.

The soundtrack was Pink Floyd (Dark Side, Meddle, Animals) and the drugs were hashish and acid.

The relationship ended some months later after one of her other boyfriends (I didn't know that she collected them without telling any of us this), who was a squaddie, was trying to hammer down the door of her flat to get to us.

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I trod in dogshït the only time I went to Castlerigg. I won't pretend it didn't somewhat puncture the mystique and romance of the place.

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Originally Posted by Ash

I was 24 or 25, on the 23rd of June at the Rosthwaite campsite in Borrowdale. She was a scouser, very beautiful, and very sexifull. I had split up with my long-term girlfriend and was ready for a new romantic encounter. I had cast a spell of lurve at Castlerigg Stone circle a few hours before I saw her and knew that she was for me. I put my tent up in record super-efficient time and she was well-impressed. Nice stuff subsequently happened in her caravan.

The soundtrack was Pink Floyd (Dark Side, Meddle, Animals) and the drugs were hashish and acid.

The relationship ended some months later after one of her other boyfriends (I didn't know that she collected them without telling any of us this), who was a squaddie, was trying to hammer down the door of her flat to get to us.

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This has brought a tear to my eye, a.

Just one question. I do not wish to be indelicate, but, being unfamiliar with camping, I have concerns about, shall we say, genital freshness.

Was there genital freshness, a?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

This has brought a tear to my eye, a.

Just one question. I do not wish to be indelicate, but, being unfamiliar with camping, I have concerns about, shall we say, genital freshness.

Was there genital freshness, a?

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Are you asking a if he had a cheesy knob? :-(

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Originally Posted by Burney

Are you asking a if he had a cheesy knob? :-(

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Must you always make everything crude and vulgar? I was trying to be sensitive.

Anyway, I wanted to know about his knob and her flange.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Do you have any romantic memories involving odd places, dubious music or fat ugly women?

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I rode the fattest chick ever the night we beat Sheffield Wednesday in the first cup final in 93. I don't wish to be rude or size-ist but she was hideous and about the size of about 2 people but any port in a storm and all that. Naturally with the celebrations and the day out at Wembley I was very drunk.

Anyhow waking on the Monday morning and firstly realising what I had done, and then realising I was going to be late for work I panicked somewhat however she offered to drop me home, Stroud Green Road to Wightman Road.

Just as we pulled up all my housemates walked out on their own way to work and my deed was noted, my reputation in tatters.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

I rode the fattest chick ever the night we beat Sheffield Wednesday in the first cup final in 93. I don't wish to be rude or size-ist but she was hideous and about the size of about 2 people but any port in a storm and all that. Naturally with the celebrations and the day out at Wembley I was very drunk.

Anyhow waking on the Monday morning and firstly realising what I had done, and then realising I was going to be late for work I panicked somewhat however she offered to drop me home, Stroud Green Road to Wightman Road.

Just as we pulled up all my housemates walked out on their own way to work and my deed was noted, my reputation in tatters.

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Now this is romance, sw.

I've never really had an issue with fat chicks, except for the one I tried to cuddle and realised my hands wouldn't meet round the back, such was her girth.

I made my excuses and left.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

This has brought a tear to my eye, a.

Just one question. I do not wish to be indelicate, but, being unfamiliar with camping, I have concerns about, shall we say, genital freshness.

Was there genital freshness, a?

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There were showers on the campsite. Generally speaking the genitals were fresher than her mouth, as she used to kiss her dog. :-(

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Originally Posted by Ash

There were showers on the campsite. Generally speaking the genitals were fresher than her mouth, as she used to kiss her dog. :-(

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Now we get to the good ****. It's taken until 4:15 to get to the kinky stuff :rubshands:

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Originally Posted by Ash

There were showers on the campsite. Generally speaking the genitals were fresher than her mouth, as she used to kiss her dog. :-(

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Is 'Kiss her dog' a euphemism for something?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Now this is romance, sw.

I've never really had an issue with fat chicks, except for the one I tried to cuddle and realised my hands wouldn't meet round the back, such was her girth.

I made my excuses and left.

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I probably saved myself a taxi fare home.

Shrewd you see.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Now this is romance, sw.

I've never really had an issue with fat chicks, except for the one I tried to cuddle and realised my hands wouldn't meet round the back, such was her girth.

I made my excuses and left.

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I once got one down to her bra and knickers in the middle of a party. At one point, I thought she was going to let me do the deed right there on the carpet while everyone stood around and cheered. I was secretly quite grateful she didn't.

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Originally Posted by Burney

Is 'Kiss her dog' a euphemism for something?

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Sounds like it, I know, but it is quite literal. By the end of it all it was apparent that she preferred her dog to me. Or any of her other boyfriends she had on the go. Which is fair enough, I suppose, but she did smell somewhat of her pooch. That isn't a euphemism either.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

You are forgetting Spandau Ballet, of course.

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Preening ****s. Excepting the tail end of punk/new wave and Talking Heads. The whole decade was devoid. The Eighties music...*******s