This American chit who appears to have Prince Harry in her thrall, just will not

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Originally Posted by Burney

For the final word on interracial marriage, I think we need to turn to the words of Edward Lear, h.

There was an old man of Jamaica
Who suddenly married a Quaker
But she cried out "Alack!
I have married a black!"
Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.

There's a lesson for us all there, I think.

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Foul! - Any limerick ending with its opening is an insult to our old and commendable tradition of raucous doggerel b. For shame you quote it in this place :nono:

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Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Foul! - Any limerick ending with its opening is an insult to our old and commendable tradition of raucous doggerel b. For shame you quote it in this place :nono:

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I know, but Lear did it all the time - he was a terrible cheat, the old poove. Anyway, in this instance I think it adds pathos.

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Originally Posted by Burney

I know, but Lear did it all the time - he was a terrible cheat, the old poove. Anyway, in this instance I think it adds pathos.

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You must scrutinize my own very excellent Ode to Nigella b. Ne'er a faux rhyme nor deviation from scansion to be seen and I would rather die than employ this particular lazy contrivance.

Pathos my black arse, the ***** just couldn't think of anything else to rhyme with Jamaica

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Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

You must scrutinize my own very excellent Ode to Nigella b. Ne'er a faux rhyme nor deviation from scansion to be seen and I would rather die than employ this particular lazy contrivance.

Pathos my black arse, the ***** just couldn't think of anything else to rhyme with Jamaica

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I'm more troubled about why she didn't notice she was marrying a black man. Was she blind? If so, why did it matter?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

I'm more troubled about why she didn't notice she was marrying a black man. Was she blind? If so, why did it matter?

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Reading between the lines, I'd say she was confronted with his monstrous membrum virile on their wedding night and fled in terror.

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Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

You must scrutinize my own very excellent Ode to Nigella b. Ne'er a faux rhyme nor deviation from scansion to be seen and I would rather die than employ this particular lazy contrivance.

Pathos my black arse, the ***** just couldn't think of anything else to rhyme with Jamaica

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I glanced at Nigella last night. Once again, she cooked remarkably ordinary food and then sat around scoffing it with her chums (who do appear to be some of the worst human beings on the planet, btw). It struck me that, without all the curves and the lascivious twinkling to camera, she really no longer has an act.

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Originally Posted by Burney

Reading between the lines, I'd say she was confronted with his monstrous membrum virile on their wedding night and fled in terror.

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This preposterous name you and c use for the pénis is so very public school and and somewhat salacious. Why can't you just call it the erectus delectus like the rest of us?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

This, from The Guardian: "Don’t underestimate the symbolism of a royal marriage. From now on, it will be impossible to argue that being black is somehow incompatible with being British"

Because that's an argument one hears all the time, right?

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But being american should continue to be incompatible, surely?

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Originally Posted by Burney

I glanced at Nigella last night. Once again, she cooked remarkably ordinary food and then sat around scoffing it with her chums (who do appear to be some of the worst human beings on the planet, btw). It struck me that, without all the curves and the lascivious twinkling to camera, she really no longer has an act.

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No mention of her 'plumpcious beauties'. And 'French Toast' with parmesan? Fúck off.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

No mention of her 'plumpcious beauties'. And 'French Toast' with parmesan? Fúck off.

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Exactly. And a profoundly dull Kofte that, if I'm not mistaken, didn't even have cumin in it. :yikes:

I've always thought Nigella was a fraud who traded on her appeal to a certain type of onanistic older gentleman and fat birds who want to feel less guilty about stuffing their faces and this series appears to confirm it.