Sir C is merely envious of Sir Geoffrey's ability to carry off a hat.
Northerner

It's hardly slagging him off to suggest he doesn't wash.
Oh, no. I heard him in his first few tests and he was awful. He was trying far too hard to be funny.
It was like being drowned in banter. :-(
Has he calmed down a bit?
My wife washes and she hails from Bradford.

'Cringing in a corner of the cell whilst trying to avoid the worst of the pressure from the hose'
isn't how we define washing, b.
The Dutch are a very clean people, actually. Perhaps slightly obsessively so.
Why don't you try dragging that tin bath in front of the fire and getting in it occasionally?
The only thing I drag in front of the fire and get in, is your mum
