money for a kids birthday/christmas and putting all the responsibility on me to find something to buy. I struggle to think of stuff we should buy him, let alone what every other **** should get him.
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money for a kids birthday/christmas and putting all the responsibility on me to find something to buy. I struggle to think of stuff we should buy him, let alone what every other **** should get him.
You're just supposed to drink the money, I think. The kid'll never know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
He's too young to give a shït, surely? He'd be happy with a cardboard box imo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
Trouser it.
I've been told we're introducing my eldest (2.5 years) to the concept of Santa this year.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
My rule is that as soon as he goes to school and starts learning about religion, he gets told that Santa doesn't exist.
Did that with some of his birthday money. Bought a few little vtech cars and kept the change :hehe:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Open him a secret savings account. Continue to pay all gift monies, tooth-fairy moneys, all that shÃ*te into it until he is 18, when you can proudly present him with enough cash to get 3 Ukrainian hookers and 5 grams of charlie with which to correctly celebrate his birthday.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
I don't think that's necessary. Why can't a kid have a little bit of make-believe in their life? He'll have 70+ years to deal with the grinding, crushing hopelessness and futility of life, so let him have a few years where he believes in a benign universe, ffs!Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
The poor kid lives in Sweden. By the time he gets to 18 he'll be under Sharia law and live in fear of being bummed by Afghans. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Over here the dad usually dresses up as santa and hands out the presents. I'm going to have to pretend i'm off out to buy a paper and get changed into a santa outfit in the garden shed :-|Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
That's stupid. Any but actually retarded kids are bound to realise it's just their dad in a suit, which sort of defeats the object of pretending Santa exists, surely?Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
Every birthday we buy Louis a bottle of vintage Louis Roederer, with the intention of presenting him with all of them when he's 18. Though with his effete Jewish heritage he'll probably sell them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
My Pa used to do that for young J and his sister, and they didn't suss him out until they were quite old, I think. Certainly in their twenties.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
And what does Anus get?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
He'll already know by then. Won't stop him wanting Christmas presents though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
You're going to give 18 bottles of vintage fizz to an 18 year-old?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
That's some high-quality vomit you'll be wiping off the lavatory walls.
As he was Dutch, I assume he was accompanied by a black man?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Right. All the gifts ought to be assembled under the tree. Dad gets to drink Santa's whisky, eat His mince pies and smoke His cigar as proof He had been there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I think it will be worth it to head off any risk of credulousness at the pass.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
He won’t be short of make-believe, which I agree is healthy and desirable. There’ll be talking animals in animated movies, role-play , fancy dress, etc etc etc
:hehe: Yes I should have blacked up really, shouldn't I? No one could have objected because, it's like, my cultural heritage and that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Opportunity missed.
And those things are better than believing in Santa why exactly?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
It's all retarded, B. They do it on the 24th, presents opened in the afternoon, no bird or spuds. I hate it :cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
As I said, he'll either drink them in moderation, or sell them. Jews don't do hedonism.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
:nod: You could have done the full eye-rolling, 'Yes massa' bit and they couldn't have fücking touched you for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I rather think you're msssing the point, b. m is one of they radical gentile-baby-blood drinking Zionist types. He's hardly going to encourage his offspring to honour the great yok festival, is he?Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Because he knows the animals that talk in animated movies are not real and that when he dresses up as a pirate he's not really a pirate. It's playing with reality, not lying about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
He's not a Jew, though, is he? He's a goy and thus subject to all our weaknesses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
When she's 18?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
FGM
But b, you must introduce some typically English elements into your christmas for the sake of the child, otherwise he will grow up without any connection to his English heritage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
You can rustle up a roast dinner, can't you?
I hope so, but the missus is a bit of a lightweight too :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I read somewhere that it's customary to do it with a piece of flint. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Or - more likely - he'll find that you haven't stored them properly and they all taste like acid by the time he tastes them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
I raise this because I know someone (also of Jewish persuasion) who bought their newborn son a case of champagne with the vintage of his birth year and did precisely that.
Whatever works, imo. Whatever works.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I found my son trying to penetrate my daughter in the bath with a toothbrush the other day :-\
That's the problem with having children. From conception, through the pregnancy, the birth, the breastfeeding, the whatever comes next, it's all so vulgarly physiological.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
I find it perfectly repulsive.
I think you'll find that kids' have a rather more fluid concept of reality than you imagine. Most of the time, they are almost alarmingly materialistic. When they're not, it's usually because they choose not to be.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
My daughter 'believed' in Santa Claus to the extent that she got a stocking full of gewgaws once a year. She obviously ceased to believe in him at some point because she's not a retard, but continued with the pretence because she a/ realised it pleased her parents as much as it did her and b/ because she was worried that if she admitted she didn't believe in him, she wouldn't still get the stocking.
Essentially, what you seem to be scared of is that your child will be too thick to work shït out for himself. That's pointless because he almost certainly isn't and, if he is, telling him Santa isn't real won't save him.
I introduced christmas crackers last year. I tried to make some stuffing the year before but it didn't go very well. I couldn't get a hold of any english sausages and tried using some swedish ones. It was like a big ball of greasy muck :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
:-( Christmas pudding? It's rank, but it's English!Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
All perfectly normal. I knew a chap who wedged an Action Man's head up his brother's arse in the bath :shrug:
Myself, I just contented myself with showing my penîs to any of my sisters' friends who came to the house.
I've heard they eat fish for Christmas dinner. Can that be true? :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Goat Sverige
Rubik's cube? Business acumen? Collection of toad livers?Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
It is perfectly foul. As you know, I find the whole dried fruit and suet thing that's associated with Christmas utterly baffling.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C