A pretty compelling argument here.

[Sir C]

Would Monty care to respond?

1180

[Luis Anaconda]

Would Monty care to respond?

1180

To be fair, Jeremy has a bit of time on his hand these days

[barrybueno]

Would Monty care to respond?

1180

Seems perfectly plausible to me.

[Tony C]

But how does this explain Chewbacca on Endor :rubchin:

[Burney]

Would Monty care to respond?

1180

I said we'd eventually turn this into an excuse for persecuting the Jews! It's a cast-iron law.

Out of interest, where do the commie kikes come into the equation? They're the ones you've really got to watch out for.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Would Monty care to respond?

1180

. . . . . . . .

[Monty92]

I said we'd eventually turn this into an excuse for persecuting the Jews! It's a cast-iron law.

Out of interest, where do the commie kikes come into the equation? They're the ones you've really got to watch out for.

Oh, I know loads of 'em. Basically my mum's generation who were in their teens/20s during the 60s. A number of them had socialist leanings but were put off by the hedonism/drugs scene in Europe/US at that time, and felt a strong affinity with Israel so went to live on a (comparatively genteel and wholesome) Kibbutz, which further pushed them into the ideological clutches of communism.

[Burney]

Oh, I know loads of 'em. Basically my mum's generation who were in their teens/20s during the 60s. A number of them had socialist leanings but were put off by the hedonism/drugs scene in Europe/US at that time, and felt a strong affinity with Israel so went to live on a (comparatively genteel and wholesome) Kibbutz, which further pushed them into the ideological clutches of communism.

Really? I thought Kibbutzes were hotbeds of rampant sexy time?

How's things with your da, btw?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Really? I thought Kibbutzes were hotbeds of rampant sexy time?

How's things with your da, btw?

i expect M is inching toward that slightly awkward question that vexes him most "Err Pops....about your will."

[Monty92]

Really? I thought Kibbutzes were hotbeds of rampant sexy time?

How's things with your da, btw?

I think the Jewishers have a perfectly normal tolerance/inclination for sexytime. My mum has certainly dropped hints that she didn't go short of dick during her stint in the Holy Land.

My da is doing terribly, unfortunately. As suspected, he was a man only able to function with the clutch of a routine. He's an empty shell after just 3 weeks - it's been quite staggering to watch. He called me this morning to ask what he should wear today. Three weeks ago he was still working fulltime!

Quite frankly, nothing in life would make me happier than if he died peacefully in his sleep.

[Burney]

I think the Jewishers have a perfectly normal tolerance/inclination for sexytime. My mum has certainly dropped hints that she didn't go short of dick during her stint in the Holy Land.

My da is doing terribly, unfortunately. As suspected, he was a man only able to function with the clutch of a routine. He's an empty shell after just 3 weeks - it's been quite staggering to watch. He called me this morning to ask what he should wear today. Three weeks ago he was still working fulltime!

Quite frankly, nothing in life would make me happier than if he died peacefully in his sleep.

:-( I'm sorry to hear that. Can you not set him to work in the garden or something?

[Sir C]

I think the Jewishers have a perfectly normal tolerance/inclination for sexytime. My mum has certainly dropped hints that she didn't go short of dick during her stint in the Holy Land.

My da is doing terribly, unfortunately. As suspected, he was a man only able to function with the clutch of a routine. He's an empty shell after just 3 weeks - it's been quite staggering to watch. He called me this morning to ask what he should wear today. Three weeks ago he was still working fulltime!

Quite frankly, nothing in life would make me happier than if he died peacefully in his sleep.

My experience of JPs is that they’re extremely keen on the dirty business, actually.

[Monty92]

:-( I'm sorry to hear that. Can you not set him to work in the garden or something?

Sadly not.

It's impossible to explain what he's like to someone who doesn't know him. He's never been clinically assessed, but I certainly suspect he has an extremely low IQ and is essentially a cognitive vegetable. The idea of him turning his hand to anything beyond basic functions (and even those he is now struggling with) is simply inconceivable.

Sadly he's still in good health and this situation is very unlikely to finish him off, meaning I'm lumbered with him for the foreseeable.

F*ck. My. Life.

[Burney]

Sadly not.

It's impossible to explain what he's like to someone who doesn't know him. He's never been clinically assessed, but I certainly suspect he has an extremely low IQ and is essentially a cognitive vegetable. The idea of him turning his hand to anything beyond basic functions (and even those he is now struggling with) is simply inconceivable.

Sadly he's still in good health and this situation is very unlikely to finish him off, meaning I'm lumbered with him for the foreseeable.

F*ck. My. Life.

Is this as a result of some medical event? He hasn't always been like this, surely?

[Sir C]

Sadly not.

It's impossible to explain what he's like to someone who doesn't know him. He's never been clinically assessed, but I certainly suspect he has an extremely low IQ and is essentially a cognitive vegetable. The idea of him turning his hand to anything beyond basic functions (and even those he is now struggling with) is simply inconceivable.

Sadly he's still in good health and this situation is very unlikely to finish him off, meaning I'm lumbered with him for the foreseeable.

F*ck. My. Life.

Can you not, y’know. Off him?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Sadly not.

It's impossible to explain what he's like to someone who doesn't know him. He's never been clinically assessed, but I certainly suspect he has an extremely low IQ and is essentially a cognitive vegetable. The idea of him turning his hand to anything beyond basic functions (and even those he is now struggling with) is simply inconceivable.

Sadly he's still in good health and this situation is very unlikely to finish him off, meaning I'm lumbered with him for the foreseeable.

F*ck. My. Life.

This is the same man that you went to Highbury with every week when I first encountered you on AWIMB. You never made any reference to his condition back then. What happened?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Can you not, y’know. Off him?

You don't need to actually say it c, we all know what Monty's about here. He can't move until he knows a) where the will is and b) is he [Monty] the main beneficiary.

[Burney]

Can you not, y’know. Off him?

There couldn't be a better time for a spot of freelance euthanasia, tbf. No-one's going to be looking too closely at a dead OAP in the current circumstances, are they?

[Monty92]

Is this as a result of some medical event? He hasn't always been like this, surely?

Not that I've ever been told of. My mum tells me he went through quite a traumatic early divorce when he was 18 (before he met my mum) and then had a hard time when he later split from my mum. But no, nothing other than that.

It's a very strange case. I've met some very stupid people, but no-one quite like me da, the hapless f*cker.

[Burney]

Not that I've ever been told of. My mum tells me he went through quite a traumatic early divorce when he was 18 (before he met my mum) and then had a hard time when he later split from my mum. But no, nothing other than that.

It's a very strange case. I've met some very stupid people, but no-one quite like me da, the hapless f*cker.

From what you say, he almost sounds autistic - or at least there or thereabouts.

But you're not a mong and - I presume - neither is your sister (although I do remember something about her voting for Corbyn in 2017), so he can't be a congenital idiot, surely?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

There couldn't be a better time for a spot of freelance euthanasia, tbf. No-one's going to be looking too closely at a dead OAP in the current circumstances, are they?

Funny you say that b, I have an acquaintance who is a DCI in the Met. He tells me they are acutely aware of and have been detailed to focus on the sharp increase that they know there will be in opportunistic murder. They have a team closely scrutinizing every home death.

[Burney]

Funny you say that b, I have an acquaintance who is a DCI in the Met. He tells me they are acutely aware of and have been detailed to focus on the sharp increase that they know there will be in opportunistic murder. They have a team closely scrutinizing every home death.

:-( Spoilsports

[Monty92]

From what you say, he almost sounds autistic - or at least there or thereabouts.

But you're not a mong and - I presume - neither is your sister (although I do remember something about her voting for Corbyn in 2017), so he can't be a congenital idiot, surely?

Oh yes, I would certainly say he's autistic. Some obsessive behavioural traits in the mix, too.

Old Maureen has got a somewhat sharper brain, but it's true to say that me and my sis provide compelling evidence that you can escape your genetic fate, whatever that curly haired c*nt Steven Pinker says.

[Burney]

Oh yes, I would certainly say he's autistic. Some obsessive behavioural traits in the mix, too.

Old Maureen has got a somewhat sharper brain, but it's true to say that me and my sis provide compelling evidence that you can escape your genetic fate, whatever that curly haired c*nt Steven Pinker says.

Fascinating. Without wishing to be indelicate, are you absolutely certain you're...y'know...his?

[barrybueno]

Not that I've ever been told of. My mum tells me he went through quite a traumatic early divorce when he was 18 (before he met my mum) and then had a hard time when he later split from my mum. But no, nothing other than that.

It's a very strange case. I've met some very stupid people, but no-one quite like me da, the hapless f*cker.

Divorced at 18? Jesus fúckíng wept (or whatever you lot say)

[Luis Anaconda]

Divorced at 18? Jesus fúckíng wept (or whatever you lot say)

TBF his lot did actually make Jesus weep, so you can say that

[Burney]

TBF his lot did actually make Jesus weep, so you can say that

I've just realised that this will probably see Anderson's test career end without a send-off. :-(

[Pokster]

Sadly not.

It's impossible to explain what he's like to someone who doesn't know him. He's never been clinically assessed, but I certainly suspect he has an extremely low IQ and is essentially a cognitive vegetable. The idea of him turning his hand to anything beyond basic functions (and even those he is now struggling with) is simply inconceivable.

Sadly he's still in good health and this situation is very unlikely to finish him off, meaning I'm lumbered with him for the foreseeable.

F*ck. My. Life.

He's your dad, stop being a moaning **** and look after him for as long as it takes

[barrybueno]

There couldn't be a better time for a spot of freelance euthanasia, tbf. No-one's going to be looking too closely at a dead OAP in the current circumstances, are they?

When they test him and are devastated to find no trace of Corona... Well you don't need to be Columbo to realise that Monty did it.

[Burney]

When they test him and are devastated to find no trace of Corona... Well you don't need to be Columbo to realise that Monty did it.

You don't need to go to those lengths. Just push him down some stairs or whatever.

[barrybueno]

You don't need to go to those lengths. Just push him down some stairs or whatever.

This thread has gone very sinister very quickly. Poor M's dad :cry:

[Burney]

This thread has gone very sinister very quickly. Poor M's dad :cry:

Oh, I'm not saying he should! I'm just saying what I'd do if I wanted to kill an elderly relative in the current circs.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

I said we'd eventually turn this into an excuse for persecuting the Jews! It's a cast-iron law.

Out of interest, where do the commie kikes come into the equation? They're the ones you've really got to watch out for.

But before Jez, we never really used to do that sort of thing here. We always went for the Papists. And that's one part of our Reformation exceptionalism I fully support. Like the fact that putting the word of God over artistic frippery is why we have no Mozart or Caravaggio, but do have Shakespeare and Austin.

I say we burn a few papists to see whether that defeats the virus, like the good old days.

[Burney]

But before Jez, we never really used to do that sort of thing here. We always went for the Papists. And that's one part of our Reformation exceptionalism I fully support. Like the fact that putting the word of God over artistic frippery is why we have no Mozart or Caravaggio, but do have Shakespeare and Austin.

I say we burn a few papists to see whether that defeats the virus, like the good old days.

We definitely did do that here. Clifford's Tower, St Hugh of Lincoln. The only reason they didn't get done over during the Black Death here was because they'd been kicked out in 1290 and not allowed back until Cromwell's Protectorate. Some blamed the French for the 1665 plague, but generally the papists didn't get blamed for plagues. Other things, yes (Titus Oates, etc), but not plague.

[barrybueno]

Oh, I'm not saying he should! I'm just saying what I'd do if I wanted to kill an elderly relative in the current circs.

Great as in leaving no evidence but not guaranteed. You could end up with the disaster of just a broken hip. Although that would mean hospital and the inevitable Corona death. OK I'm on board, it's pure genius :thumbup:

[Burney]

We definitely did do that here. Clifford's Tower, St Hugh of Lincoln. The only reason they didn't get done over during the Black Death here was because they'd been kicked out in 1290 and not allowed back until Cromwell's Protectorate. Some blamed the French for the 1665 plague, but generally the papists didn't get blamed for plagues. Other things, yes (Titus Oates, etc), but not plague.

On this, I note that the Jewish Chronicle has just gone tits up. Doubtless this is all part of the fiendish Jewish plot - allaying our suspicions while they get on with reducing us all to mindless drones with their vaccines. :nod:

[Arsenal Alcoholic Review]

I said we'd eventually turn this into an excuse for persecuting the Jews! It's a cast-iron law.

Out of interest, where do the commie kikes come into the equation? They're the ones you've really got to watch out for.

https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Zionism_versus_Bolshevism

The Gasmeister Churchill's view on those chaps.

[Luis Anaconda]

I've just realised that this will probably see Anderson's test career end without a send-off. :-(

I was going to mention that in the list but didn't want to consider it