Yesterday I encountered Simon Callow in a lavatory.

[Sir C]

He was utterly charming. We spent some time looking at dirty pictures together.

Oddly, this was my second encounter with Mr Callow. Both times he has been the model of jocularity and good manners.

Simon Callow is definitely my favourite lovey.

[Burney]

He was utterly charming. We spent some time looking at dirty pictures together.

Oddly, this was my second encounter with Mr Callow. Both times he has been the model of jocularity and good manners.

Simon Callow is definitely my favourite lovey.

Which dirty picture lavatory was this?

[Sir C]

Which dirty picture lavatory was this?

It was in The Goring. They have some quite explicit 18th century prints.

The Goring is definitely the poshest hotel in the world FACT.

[Burney]

It was in The Goring. They have some quite explicit 18th century prints.

The Goring is definitely the poshest hotel in the world FACT.

Lovely! It is reet posh in there. On the occasions I've been there, I've felt distinctly oikish.

[Sir C]

Lovely! It is reet posh in there. On the occasions I've been there, I've felt distinctly oikish.

I always imagine I'm about to bump into her majesty. Yesterday I encountered a different sort of queen altogether.

Afterwards I went home on a bus.

[Burney]

I always imagine I'm about to bump into her majesty. Yesterday I encountered a different sort of queen altogether.

Afterwards I went home on a bus.

This seems to have been a terribly democratic afternoon for you. It could only have been improved if you'd popped into a Greggs for a Steak Bake. Well done.

[Sir C]

This seems to have been a terribly democratic afternoon for you. It could only have been improved if you'd popped into a Greggs for a Steak Bake. Well done.

ty b. It was quite a day, one way or another.

Whilst I waited for a bus opposite The Maxwell a chap walked up to me and said, "It's a mess, isn't it? This coronavirus thing." I agreed that it is, indeed, a mess, but ventured to suggest that we'd be 'alright in the end'. With this wisdom he seemed well pleased, and continued upon his way.

Life is odd sometimes.

[Burney]

ty b. It was quite a day, one way or another.

Whilst I waited for a bus opposite The Maxwell a chap walked up to me and said, "It's a mess, isn't it? This coronavirus thing." I agreed that it is, indeed, a mess, but ventured to suggest that we'd be 'alright in the end'. With this wisdom he seemed well pleased, and continued upon his way.

Life is odd sometimes.

You see? This is the sort of interaction with your fellow men you'll miss when you decamp to the north. Up there, they'll just grunt guttural noises at you.

Do you know, I think the last time I drank in The Maxwell was the day you helped me move into the flat? Seven years ago next month, that'll be. :-\

[Sir C]

You see? This is the sort of interaction with your fellow men you'll miss when you decamp to the north. Up there, they'll just grunt guttural noises at you.

Do you know, I think the last time I drank in The Maxwell was the day you helped me move into the flat? Seven years ago next month, that'll be. :-\

That would be the last time I was in there, as well.

Seven years, really? Madness. I seem to recall that it was a lovely spring evening but that when I left you the flat felt bleak, cold and lonely. :-(

[Burney]

That would be the last time I was in there, as well.

Seven years, really? Madness. I seem to recall that it was a lovely spring evening but that when I left you the flat felt bleak, cold and lonely. :-(

It wasn't that nice an evening. And how would you know what the flat was like after you'd left?

But yeah, you're right. :-( I didn't cry or nuffink, though. I'm not a poof.

[Sir C]

It wasn't that nice an evening. And how would you know what the flat was like after you'd left?

But yeah, you're right. :-( I didn't cry or nuffink, though. I'm not a poof.

It's 14 years since I moved into my house. On the first day it felt like the emptiest place on earth. :-(

[Burney]

It's 14 years since I moved into my house. On the first day it felt like the emptiest place on earth. :-(

Yes. It takes a while for that feeling to go. I can remember weekends when g wasn't down with me when I literally couldn't wait for work to start again on the Monday.

[Maravilloso Marvo]

Yes. It takes a while for that feeling to go. I can remember weekends when g wasn't down with me when I literally couldn't wait for work to start again on the Monday.

Was that why you invented that character? I can't even remember his name now, the over enthusiastic chap who was somewhere on the spectrum. And probably a register or two.

[Burney]

Was that why you invented that character? I can't even remember his name now, the over enthusiastic chap who was somewhere on the spectrum. And probably a register or two.

:rolleyes: Not this again.

[Maravilloso Marvo]

:rolleyes: Not this again.

Okay but what was his name?

[Burney]

Okay but what was his name?

modd, wasn't it? Lovely chap. Quite mad.

[Maravilloso Marvo]

modd, wasn't it? Lovely chap. Quite mad.

That's the fella, yes lovely chap.

I'd love to hear his views on the whole Emery and Arteta era.

[Burney]

That's the fella, yes lovely chap.

I'd love to hear his views on the whole Emery and Arteta era.

I fear even his boundless optimism may have been tested by the last few years. :-(

[The Insider]

He was utterly charming. We spent some time looking at dirty pictures together.

Oddly, this was my second encounter with Mr Callow. Both times he has been the model of jocularity and good manners.

Simon Callow is definitely my favourite lovey.

I seem to recall reading somewhere that he did!

[Sir C]

I fear even his boundless optimism may have been tested by the last few years. :-(

I fear he went the way of sodd. Who was reborn as Prat Vegas, but appears to have carked again. :-(

[Sir C]

I seem to recall reading somewhere that he did!

I confess I had to google the term 'choad', ti.

It is with huge sadness that I must tell you that I failed to examine the membrum virile; the surroundings encouraging me to show some regard for his privacy.

Rest assured that the next time I encounter His Callowness in a convenience, I will attempt a cheeky picture.

[Burney]

I fear he went the way of sodd. Who was reborn as Prat Vegas, but appears to have carked again. :-(

Never again will we be dancing in the streets with him?! :cry:

[Burney]

I confess I had to google the term 'choad', ti.

It is with huge sadness that I must tell you that I failed to examine the membrum virile; the surroundings encouraging me to show some regard for his privacy.

Rest assured that the next time I encounter His Callowness in a convenience, I will attempt a cheeky picture.

He probably wouldn't mind in the slightest. Do you still get propositioned in public lavatories? Or have those...err...glory days passed?

[Burney]

He probably wouldn't mind in the slightest. Do you still get propositioned in public lavatories? Or have those...err...glory days passed?

And in fact, I seem to recall he got his knob out in A Room With A View during a bathing scene. I'm sure it could be googled.

[Sir C]

He probably wouldn't mind in the slightest. Do you still get propositioned in public lavatories? Or have those...err...glory days passed?

It's years since I had the offer of a quick gobble amidst the miasma of human faeces. :-(

[Burney]

It's years since I had the offer of a quick gobble amidst the miasma of human faeces. :-(

:-( It's your birthday soon, isn't it? I shall pay a male prostitute to approach you in a lavatory. It'll do wonders for your ego.

[Sir C]

:-( It's your birthday soon, isn't it? I shall pay a male prostitute to approach you in a lavatory. It'll do wonders for your ego.

I must admit I don't find the prospect quite as thrilling as I used to. Perhaps age has dulled the priapic edge?

[Burney]

I must admit I don't find the prospect quite as thrilling as I used to. Perhaps age has dulled the priapic edge?

What if I make sure it's an especially pretty male prostitute?