Manchester bum rapist!

[Burney]

:yikes:

As an aside, I can't help but feel that if this chap had preyed on women, this would be much bigger news.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50688975

[PSRB]

:yikes:

As an aside, I can't help but feel that if this chap had preyed on women, this would be much bigger news.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50688975

:nod:

Dreadful part of the city.

[Burney]

:nod:

Dreadful part of the city.

I can't help but feel that, however thoroughly I'd been drugged, I'd probably notice if someone had buggered me the night before.

[Sir C]

I can't help but feel that, however thoroughly I'd been drugged, I'd probably notice if someone had buggered me the night before.

"Of the victims who went to court, the vast majority were heterosexual."

Of course they were. I often meet random men in the street late at night and go back to their flat for a drink.

Definitely fuilly hetero behaviour. #askingforit

[Pat Vegas]

I can't help but feel that, however thoroughly I'd been drugged, I'd probably notice if someone had buggered me the night before.

:nod: i get arse itch just from using too much toilet paper.

but not for much longer as new bathroom next week :cloud9:

[Burney]

"Of the victims who went to court, the vast majority were heterosexual."

Of course they were. I often meet random men in the street late at night and go back to their flat for a drink.

Definitely fuilly hetero behaviour. #askingforit

:hehe: I thought that. You'd be amazed how unlikely I am to respond positively to an obviously queer chap I've known less than a minute's entreaty to come to his flat and 'charge my phone'. :hehe:

Mind you, all these years the pooves have been telling us we're safe because they don't want to bum us. This blows that out of the water imo,

[Tony C]

:clap:


https://youtu.be/LLWlBgj0uOc

[IUFG]

Mind you, all these years the pooves have been telling us we're safe because they don't want to bum us. This blows that out of the water imo,

to be fair to the vast majority of the pavillion end bowlers, this one is very much a complete psychopath.

[Burney]

to be fair to the vast majority of the pavillion end bowlers, this one is very much a complete psychopath.

That's what they want you to think, iufg. I for one will be keeping a very close eye on our shirtlifting brethren from hereon in. :nod:

[Sir C]

:nod: i get arse itch just from using too much toilet paper.

but not for much longer as new bathroom next week :cloud9:

You want those wet wipes, that's what you want. Keep your ringpiece sparkly fresh.

[Pat Vegas]

You want those wet wipes, that's what you want. Keep your ringpiece sparkly fresh.

I proposed this to Awimb a few years ago and it was frowned upon.

[Sir C]

I proposed this to Awimb a few years ago and it was frowned upon.

I would never frown on a fresh naughty hole, f.

[IUFG]

I proposed this to Awimb a few years ago and it was frowned upon.

use the KFC hand wipes imo

a bit small, but it'll leave your rapist's winkie lemon fresh

[Burney]

I proposed this to Awimb a few years ago and it was frowned upon.

People get terribly upset about you flushing them, though. They don't break down, y'see?

[Sir C]

People get terribly upset about you flushing them, though. They don't break down, y'see?

Don't tell anyone b. :shrug:

[Sir C]

use the KFC hand wipes imo

a bit small, but it'll leave your rapist's winkie lemon fresh

Bit harsh on the pig's eye, surely?

[Burney]

Don't tell anyone b. :shrug:

But what of public-spiritedness? What of concern for one's fellow man?

[Sir C]

But what of public-spiritedness? What of concern for one's fellow man?

Fúck my fellow man, b. Fúck him firmly in the arse.

[IUFG]

Bit harsh on the pig's eye, surely?

i've not tried, sc :shrug:

[Burney]

Bit harsh on the pig's eye, surely?

I read something the other day about how, in Japan, massage parlours give you a hot towel to clean up your bits afterwards and then send them to the laundry, who then clean them and redistribute them to restaurants. For this reason, nobody uses them on their face, apparently. And when they see Westerners do so, they're horrified.

I'm aware that many aspects of this story sound like bóllocks, but I'm just repeating what I read.

[Burney]

Fúck my fellow man, b. Fúck him firmly in the arse.

Did you learn nothing from A Christmas Carol? :-(

[IUFG]

People get terribly upset about you flushing them, though. They don't break down, y'see?

Our drains got blocked several years back and there was a fúck awful smell coming up through our sink.
I called in Dynarod (or similar) in and they rodded the drains. They looked into the manhole as they rodded it and a load of baby wipes got blasted out. We were the end of the drain line and they could have only come from the next door neighbour's house. At the time, they had four kids aged 5 and under :yikes:

I went round and explained that I'd paid £100 or so to have the drains cleared. At that point the Scouse neighbour said "Cheers, I wondered what the smell was." and closed the door. The ****.

Made me wonder what his house normally smelled like, not to actually do anything himself.

Never offered me a penny.

Serves him right that the two youngest kids turned out not to be his...

[Burney]

Our drains got blocked several years back and there was a fúck awful smell coming up through our sink.
I called in Dynarod (or similar) in and they rodded the drains. They looked into the manhole as they rodded it and a load of baby wipes got blasted out. We were the end of the drain line and they could have only come from the next door neighbour's house. At the time, they had four kids aged 5 and under :yikes:

I went round and explained that I'd paid £100 or so to have the drains cleared. At that point the Scouse neighbour said "Cheers, I wondered what the smell was." and closed the door. The ****.

Made me wonder what his house normally smelled like, not to actually do anything himself.

Never offered me a penny.

Serves him right that the two youngest kids turned out not to be his...

The story of your scouse cuckold neighbour is intriguing.

I've told you, I think, about the Thames Water man we called in to peer into the sewer that ran next to our house who rang my doorbell and then proceeded to present on a shovel a pair of Y-Fronts with the words 'There's your problem!' while strongly implying that they were mine.

[IUFG]

The story of your scouse cuckold neighbour is intriguing.

I've told you, I think, about the Thames Water man we called in to peer into the sewer that ran next to our house who rang my doorbell and then proceeded to present on a shovel a pair of Y-Fronts with the words 'There's your problem!' while strongly implying that they were mine.

why were you flushing your Y-fronts down the toilet, b?

heavily soiled them?

[Sir C]

I read something the other day about how, in Japan, massage parlours give you a hot towel to clean up your bits afterwards and then send them to the laundry, who then clean them and redistribute them to restaurants. For this reason, nobody uses them on their face, apparently. And when they see Westerners do so, they're horrified.

I'm aware that many aspects of this story sound like bóllocks, but I'm just repeating what I read.

I wouldn't mind wiping my face on someone's dick flannel if it had been washed in the interim. :shrug:

[Burney]

why were you flushing your Y-fronts down the toilet, b?

heavily soiled them?

They were clearly not mine! Indeed, I protested vehemently.

I can't imagine how bad the situation would have to be to occasion attempting to flush your pants. It's a high-risk manoeuvre to say the least.

[Sir C]

Did you learn nothing from A Christmas Carol? :-(

This modern version? I haven't watched it yet. I watched the Alistair Sim one. And the Bill Murray one.

Also, I quite enjoyed Dracula until episode 3. I switched it off in disgust with 30 minutes still to run last night.

[Burney]

I wouldn't mind wiping my face on someone's dick flannel if it had been washed in the interim. :shrug:

Nor me, especially, but we're not Japanese. :shrug:

Generally, speaking, I don't like flannels. I generally assume they've been put to unpleasant use by someone and would never put anything other than one I knew to be freshly-laundered near my face.

[Burney]

This modern version? I haven't watched it yet. I watched the Alistair Sim one. And the Bill Murray one.

Also, I quite enjoyed Dracula until episode 3. I switched it off in disgust with 30 minutes still to run last night.

Yes, I stopped paying attention to the third episode. Something about her having cancer or something. I forget.

[Sir C]

Nor me, especially, but we're not Japanese. :shrug:

Generally, speaking, I don't like flannels. I generally assume they've been put to unpleasant use by someone and would never put anything other than one I knew to be freshly-laundered near my face.

I find the thought of them extremely repulsive. They bring to mind the image of old ladies having a 'strip wash' at the sink, instead of a shower. The dirty old gets.

Old lady clunge and grey pubes. That's what flannels contain. :-(

[Sir C]

They were clearly not mine! Indeed, I protested vehemently.

I can't imagine how bad the situation would have to be to occasion attempting to flush your pants. It's a high-risk manoeuvre to say the least.

I once hid a pair of pants behind a cistern in a hotel in Calais.

[IUFG]

Old lady clunge and grey pubes. That's what flannels contain. :-(

back in 5...

[IUFG]

I once hid a pair of pants behind a cistern in a hotel in Calais.

a case of the quickly-shíts, sc?

[Burney]

I find the thought of them extremely repulsive. They bring to mind the image of old ladies having a 'strip wash' at the sink, instead of a shower. The dirty old gets.

Old lady clunge and grey pubes. That's what flannels contain. :-(

:nod: They should all be burned, really.

[Sir C]

back in 5...

I bet when the old dear squeezes the flannel between the buttocks which are limp like deflated balloons, it comes out smeared with old lady poop - probably a light tan colour with the peculiarly rancid odour of digested Spam.

[Burney]

I once hid a pair of pants behind a cistern in a hotel in Calais.

Gosh. They may still be there.

I once shát in someone's rockery. I forget why.

[IUFG]

I bet when the old dear squeezes the flannel between the buttocks which are limp like deflated balloons, it comes out smeared with old lady poop - probably a light tan colour with the peculiarly rancid odour of digested Spam.

one of my guilty pleasures, sc, is spam.

[Sir C]

a case of the quickly-shíts, sc?

I was but a child, i. A 17 year old on a school trip. Got fired into a bottle of duty-free Scotch. Woke in the night, staggered down the hall to expel a river of rancid bum gravy... then found there was no paper.

Used the pants instead. :-(

I'm not proud.

[Sir C]

Gosh. They may still be there.

I once shát in someone's rockery. I forget why.

Was it while you were boning that chick?

[Sir C]

:nod: They should all be burned, really.

Oh I don't know, they'll be dead soon anyway, in the main. And they're useful from a voting perspective.

[Sir C]

one of my guilty pleasures, sc, is spam.

How do you take it, i?

Frittered?

[IUFG]

Was it while you were boning that chick?

'kinell :yikes:

that's a bit niche, isn't it?

[Sir C]

'kinell :yikes:

that's a bit niche, isn't it?

He is a man of esoteric tastes, i.

[IUFG]

How do you take it, i?

Frittered?

All ways, sc, all ways.

I've even been known to fry it with rice.

[Burney]

Was it while you were boning that chick?

Good God, no! I'm not an animal.

I think I was caught short at a party and the lavatories were occupied. Thing is, the rockery was at the front of the house and could be viewed from the road. Some people may have suffered a traumatic sight that evening. :-(

[Burney]

All ways, sc, all ways.

I've even been known to fry it with rice.

I can't remember what it tastes like. I assume it to have a rubbery consistency and feel mustard would be essential.

[Sir C]

All ways, sc, all ways.

I've even been known to fry it with rice.

I believe their is a Korean dish of fried rice with Spam. They also do something vaguely Chinee with hot dog sausages. Comes from nicking GI's rations, see?

[Burney]

I believe their is a Korean dish of fried rice with Spam. They also do something vaguely Chinee with hot dog sausages. Comes from nicking GI's rations, see?

We all know how much they enjoy a hot dog, the dirty, dog-eating ****s.

[IUFG]

I was but a child, i. A 17 year old on a school trip. Got fired into a bottle of duty-free Scotch. Woke in the night, staggered down the hall to expel a river of rancid bum gravy... then found there was no paper.

Used the pants instead. :-(

I'm not proud.

It must be France.

I used a public toilet in Cahors after several days of drinking Pelforth Gold(?) and 1664.

And instead of it dropping down the hole in the floor, it sprayed up the wall.
My brother in law went in for a píss as I went out.

Not only was he sick from the sight and smell but then got covered with water from the automatic cleaning system that starts when the door closes. How I laughed...

[Sir C]

I can't remember what it tastes like. I assume it to have a rubbery consistency and feel mustard would be essential.

For some reason I have a feeling that I've eaten a Spam fritter sometime 'recently' - like within the last 20 years. I can't imagine how or why though.

[IUFG]

I can't remember what it tastes like. I assume it to have a rubbery consistency and feel mustard would be essential.

do not deny yourself a tin of it when next out shopping, b.

you won't regret it :thumbup:

[Sir C]

It must be France.

I used a public toilet in Cahors after several days of drinking Pelforth Gold(?) and 1664.

And instead of it dropping down the hole in the floor, it sprayed up the wall.
My brother in law went in for a píss as I went out.

Not only was he sick from the sight and smell but then got covered with water from the automatic cleaning system that starts when the door closes. How I laughed...

You realise you're supposed to sit down on the toilet, don't you i? Bending over 90 degrees from the waist just isn't going to work.

[IUFG]

You realise you're supposed to sit down on the toilet, don't you i? Bending over 90 degrees from the waist just isn't going to work.

iirc, sc, it wasn't going to wait for me to position myself correctly.

[Burney]

For some reason I have a feeling that I've eaten a Spam fritter sometime 'recently' - like within the last 20 years. I can't imagine how or why though.

I can't help but feel that the low-quality tinned meat is unlikely to be improved by being deep fried in greasy batter. In fact, the thought of it is making me feel queasy.

[Sir C]

I can't help but feel that the low-quality tinned meat is unlikely to be improved by being deep fried in greasy batter. In fact, the thought of it is making me feel queasy.

Think about what you've just said. Allow mw to assist. "unlikely to be improved by being deep fried" What crazy talk is this?

[Burney]

do not deny yourself a tin of it when next out shopping, b.

you won't regret it :thumbup:

I've just noticed how unappetising the image they put on the tin is. :puke:

1148

[IUFG]

I've just noticed how unappetising the image they put on the tin is. :puke:

1148

you not got the latest UK branding there, b

look at this... :eat:
http://www.spam-uk.com/img/recipe/SPAM-Breakfast-Hash.jpg

[Burney]

you not got the latest UK branding there, b

look at this... :eat:
http://www.spam-uk.com/img/recipe/SPAM-Breakfast-Hash.jpg

It's corned beef hash? But with Spam?

Wouldn't it be nicer with corned beef?

[IUFG]

It's corned beef hash? But with Spam?

Wouldn't it be nicer with corned beef?

ah, you run down the tinned pig, but don't mind a tinned cow. Is that what I am getting here?

[Burney]

ah, you run down the tinned pig, but don't mind a tinned cow. Is that what I am getting here?

I can't stand corned beef unless it it fried to cribblyness as in a good corned beef hash. There's something about Spam that just looks alarmingly solid.

[IUFG]

I can't stand corned beef unless it it fried to cribblyness as in a good corned beef hash. There's something about Spam that just looks alarmingly solid.

I defy you not to buy some; eat some straight out of the tin and also try some fried bits and tell me you're not pleasantly surprised...

[Burney]

I defy you not to buy some; eat some straight out of the tin and also try some fried bits and tell me you're not pleasantly surprised...

Does it smell like catfood when you open the tin? :-(

[IUFG]

Does it smell like catfood when you open the tin? :-(

nope.

one of our cats will only eat Sheba pouches. Every single variety of that stuff stinks to high fúcking heaven. far worse than any other brand.
Spam smells nothing like cat food. thankfully.

[IUFG]

I can't stand corned beef unless it it fried to cribblyness as in a good corned beef hash. There's something about Spam that just looks alarmingly solid.

have you ever tried corned beef hash stew/soup?

proper council. lovely.

[Burney]

have you ever tried corned beef hash stew/soup?

proper council. lovely.

Lord, no! I don't make a habit of consuming tinned meat - largely on the grounds that it's not 1944.