IMPORTANT - Is your Christmas Day routine acceptable?

[WES]

YOU MUST

1) go to the pub at some point
2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

Anything else?

[Sir C]

YOU MUST

1) go to the pub at some point
2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

Anything else?

You're not the boss of me.

By chance you have approached civilised behaviour in two areas:

Presents must be opened before breakfast. What soret of weird ascetic Protestantism are you suffering from if you make people wait for their presents?

Breakfast is smoked salmon scrambled eggs. With coriander for decent folk.

Otherwise you're all over the place there.

[WES]

You're not the boss of me.

By chance you have approached civilised behaviour in two areas:

Presents must be opened before breakfast. What soret of weird ascetic Protestantism are you suffering from if you make people wait for their presents?

Breakfast is smoked salmon scrambled eggs. With coriander for decent folk.

Otherwise you're all over the place there.

Open presents - 8am
Christmas breakfast - 10am
Local pub - 12pm - 1:00pm
Make dinner - 1-3pm
Her Maj
Dinner eaten 3:30-5pm
5-7pm telly, music, stomach digests, liver recovers
7pm onwards - steam in again

Perfect

[Sir C]

Open presents - 8am
Christmas breakfast - 10am
Local pub - 12pm - 1:00pm
Make dinner - 1-3pm
Her Maj
Dinner eaten 3:30-5pm
5-7pm telly, music, stomach digests, liver recovers
7pm onwards - steam in again

Perfect

This is a celebration of the birth of baby Jesus, who came to save you from your sin. It's not a military fúcking operation!

[Burney]

YOU MUST

1) go to the pub at some point
2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

Anything else?

No. Smoked salmon is one of the most overrated things ever. Eggs Benedict for brekkers.

[Luis Anaconda]

YOU MUST

1) go to the pub at some point -well, duh
2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj no one listens to her majesty apart from colonials pretending to be British
3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast presents are nearly always a disappoinment - why ruin the best bit of the day - apartf from the pub
4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast champagne and a bacon sandwich are perfectly acceptable
5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess falling asleep with a drink in your hand is simply the sign of an amateur

Anything else?

Just helped you out there

[WES]

No. Smoked salmon is one of the most overrated things ever. Eggs Benedict for brekkers.

Not for me, Clive. Really good smoked salmon with horseradish cream is wonderful.

Scrambled egg, warmed scotch pancake, sausage, crispy streaky bacon and smoked salmon. :nod:

[Burney]

This is a celebration of the birth of baby Jesus, who came to save you from your sin. It's not a military fúcking operation!

On one of my favourite ever Christmases, Top Gun was on and the entire family enjoyed it tremendously. Failing Top Gun, Zulu would be ideal.

[Burney]

Not for me, Clive. Really good smoked salmon with horseradish cream is wonderful.

Scrambled egg, warmed scotch pancake, sausage, crispy streaky bacon and smoked salmon. :nod:

I find gravadlax infinitely preferable to smoked salmon. More subtle and less dominant.

[WES]

Just helped you out there

Like you'd be sober enough to remember any of it. :rolleyes:

Speaking of which, my alcohol consumption on Christmas Day is generally:

champagne with prezzies and breakfast
3 pints of ale in the local
champagne as I make dinner
bottle of red with dinner
G&Ts during the recovery period
Multiple negronis during the finale

My liver is quaking at the thought :-(

[Burney]

Like you'd be sober enough to remember any of it. :rolleyes:

Speaking of which, my alcohol consumption on Christmas Day is generally:

champagne with prezzies and breakfast
3 pints of ale in the local
champagne as I make dinner
bottle of red with dinner
G&Ts during the recovery period
Multiple negronis during the finale

My liver is quaking at the thought :-(

A whole bottle of red, eh? :hehe:

Nancy boy. :shakehead:

[Luis Anaconda]

Like you'd be sober enough to remember any of it. :rolleyes:

Speaking of which, my alcohol consumption on Christmas Day is generally:

champagne with prezzies and breakfast
3 pints of ale in the local
champagne as I make dinner
bottle of red with dinner
G&Ts during the recovery period
Multiple negronis during the finale

My liver is quaking at the thought :-(
I always prefer Christmas Eve to the day itself tbh

[Burney]

I always prefer Christmas Eve to the day itself tbh

:nod: It is better to travel hopefully than to arrive and all that.

[Sir C]

Like you'd be sober enough to remember any of it. :rolleyes:

Speaking of which, my alcohol consumption on Christmas Day is generally:

champagne with prezzies and breakfast
3 pints of ale in the local
champagne as I make dinner
bottle of red with dinner
G&Ts during the recovery period
Multiple negronis during the finale

My liver is quaking at the thought :-(

You've forgotten the Dry Martinis. (Gin, olive.)

[IUFG]

YOU MUST

1) go to the pub at some point
2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

Anything else?

Pffft!

Full English breakfast.

Start drinking.

Make dinner.

Continue drinking.

Eat dinner with a drink.

Continue drinking.

HTH to get you through the 2nd most dreadful day of the year.

[Sir C]

On one of my favourite ever Christmases, Top Gun was on and the entire family enjoyed it tremendously. Failing Top Gun, Zulu would be ideal.

My favourite memory of all time is a Christmas Eve mid-afternoon, with snow on the ground outside, mother cooking mince pies, lying in front of the TV watching the Battle of the Bulge.

:cry: I want to be a child again please.

[Sir C]

Pffft!

Full English breakfast.

Start drinking.

Make dinner.

Continue drinking.

Eat dinner with a drink.

Continue drinking.

HTH to get you through the 2nd most dreadful day of the year.

The full English before the massive dinner, i? :yikes:

Save the full English for Boxing Day. That way you don't have to fúck about making lunch for in-laws who WON'T FÚCKING SPLIT!

[IUFG]

:cry: I want to be a child again please.

Write to Jim'll Fix It, sc :thumbup:

[IUFG]

The full English before the massive dinner, i? :yikes:

Save the full English for Boxing Day. That way you don't have to fúck about making lunch for in-laws who WON'T FÚCKING SPLIT!

not really the day to be counting calories, sc.

[Sir C]

Write to Jim'll Fix It, sc :thumbup:

Can Jim turn back time, i? If so, Cher would like a word.

[Monty92]

On one of my favourite ever Christmases, Top Gun was on and the entire family enjoyed it tremendously. Failing Top Gun, Zulu would be ideal.

Will you be sharing Christmas with your estranged snobby spastic sister?

[Burney]

Will you be sharing Christmas with your estranged sister?

Nope. I shan't be straying from home this Christmas.

[Monty92]

A whole bottle of red, eh? :hehe:

Nancy boy. :shakehead:

3 pints of ale in an hour?*

*meant for WES

[IUFG]

On one of my favourite ever Christmases, Top Gun was on and the entire family enjoyed it tremendously. Failing Top Gun, Zulu would be ideal.

I have never seen Top Gun.

wd me, imo

[Burney]

I have never seen Top Gun.

wd me, imo

Oooh, if we're doing films everyone's seen that you haven't, I've got some good ones.

When Harry Met Sally and Pretty Woman to name but two (actually, most romantic comedies)

And I only saw Die Hard for the first time last Christmas.

[IUFG]

Oooh, if we're doing films everyone's seen that you haven't, I've got some good ones.

When Harry Met Sally and Pretty Woman to name but two (actually, most romantic comedies)

And I only saw Die Hard for the first time last Christmas.

I never seen WHMS either

[Sir C]

Oooh, if we're doing films everyone's seen that you haven't, I've got some good ones.

When Harry Met Sally and Pretty Woman to name but two (actually, most romantic comedies)

And I only saw Die Hard for the first time last Christmas.

The Godfather. Any of them. There are others, I'm sure.

[Sir C]

I never seen WHMS either

It's a great movie.

The bit at the end where he runs into the party... :cry: :cry:

I love a romcom, me.

[WES]

You've forgotten the Dry Martinis. (Gin, olive.)

True, some times a G&T substitute in my drinking plan

[IUFG]

True, some times a G&T substitute in my drinking plan

Anyone got any ideas for Absinthe?

Tried the sugar thing. Tasted like sweet mouthwash instead of simply mouthwash.

I need the space in the cupboard so I can order another one of these...
https://img.thewhiskyexchange.com/900/gfcob.non1.jpg

the Scotchers might generally be ****s, but they know whisky

[Burney]

It's a great movie.

The bit at the end where he runs into the party... :cry: :cry:

I love a romcom, me.

The last romcom I loved (if you can call it that) was The Apartment (partly because it's impossible to watch it without falling passionately in love with Shirley Maclaine).

I'm genuinely shocked that you've never seen The Godfather, btw. How can you conduct normal conversations with other cine-literate adults without having seen The Godfather?

[Burney]

Anyone got any ideas for Absinthe?

Tried the sugar thing. Tasted like sweet mouthwash instead of simply mouthwash.

I need the space in the cupboard so I can order another one of these...
https://img.thewhiskyexchange.com/900/gfcob.non1.jpg

the Scotchers might generally be ****s, but they know whisky

I don't think Absinthe is supposed to taste nice. Does it still have hallucinogenic properties?

What I want to know is this: is there ever going to come an age when someone suggests Jaegerbombs (which I hate) and I actually say no?

Every. Fúcking. Time. :-(

[Sir C]

Anyone got any ideas for Absinthe?

Tried the sugar thing. Tasted like sweet mouthwash instead of simply mouthwash.

I need the space in the cupboard so I can order another one of these...
https://img.thewhiskyexchange.com/900/gfcob.non1.jpg

the Scotchers might generally be ****s, but they know whisky

The only use for absinthe is in a Sazerac, which is really just a netto Vieux Carré, so you're best off throwing it down the sink.

[IUFG]

The only use for absinthe is in a Sazerac, which is really just a netto Vieux Carré, so you're best off throwing it down the sink.

I suppose it may well clean the sink quite well.

and the terrible anthropogenic contamination of the local water is a price I'm willing to pay

[Sir C]

I suppose it may well clean the sink quite well.

and the terrible anthropogenic contamination of the local water is a price I'm willing to pay

All those hallucinating sewer rats. Nice.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

You're not the boss of me.

By chance you have approached civilised behaviour in two areas:

Presents must be opened before breakfast. What soret of weird ascetic Protestantism are you suffering from if you make people wait for their presents?

Breakfast is smoked salmon scrambled eggs. With coriander for decent folk.

Otherwise you're all over the place there.

Can you put coriander in scrambled eggs? I've never tried that.

In the 6 weeks I've been away, all my herbs in my herb garden will have died, won't they?

Even the parsley and that was going mad as I planted two at once and they joined together and went mental, attacking all the other wons.

[barrybueno]

Pffft!

Full English breakfast.

Start drinking.

Make dinner.

Continue drinking.

Eat dinner with a drink.

Continue drinking.

HTH to get you through the 2nd most dreadful day of the year.

ooh what's the first :sherlock:

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

I don't think Absinthe is supposed to taste nice. Does it still have hallucinogenic properties?

What I want to know is this: is there ever going to come an age when someone suggests Jaegerbombs (which I hate) and I actually say no?

Every. Fúcking. Time. :-(

Just put a trip into a bottle of supermarket vodka. Add any herb or flavouring you like as no-one will know. Print a C19th label off the next and pritstick it over the Aldi Vodka label.

Job's a good'un. No-one will spot the difference.

Drank liquid K once, when waiting for a bus and unable to acquire a frying pan. Didn't do anything.

[Sir C]

The last romcom I loved (if you can call it that) was The Apartment (partly because it's impossible to watch it without falling passionately in love with Shirley Maclaine).

I'm genuinely shocked that you've never seen The Godfather, btw. How can you conduct normal conversations with other cine-literate adults without having seen The Godfather?

Christ, I would run a mile from trying to converse with the kind of pompous, smug, pretentious prig who would describe himself as cine-literate!

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Btw, does no-one else do foie gras and sauternes for one of the courses?

Vital, imo. I shall be buying mine out here in a day or two as have to go back for a new passport for another visa.

Anyone recommend any decent Burgundies that are good value?

Like for a cheap but drinkable claret, I always look for a Cru Bourgeois Haut-Medoc. The Cru Bourgeois are the ones overlooked in 1855 but that are often better than the numbered growths. And Haut-Medoc borders Pauillac in places.

Fancy a Beaune or a Gevry-Chamertin, but you're playing for the appelation name in both those cases.

[Burney]

Christ, I would run a mile from trying to converse with the kind of pompous, smug, pretentious prig who would describe himself as cine-literate!

You voluntarily listen to Mark Kermode.

Here he is using the phrase.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/sep/10/it-review-enthusiastic-cine-literate-stephen-king-adaptation

[barrybueno]

The Godfather. Any of them. There are others, I'm sure.

I've never seen any of The Godfather's either, no point now as they couldn't possibly live up to the hype imo

My list of classic movies I haven't seen is amazing/shocking, shame I can't remember any atm :-\

[Sir C]

You voluntarily listen to Mark Kermode.

Here he is using the phrase.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/sep/10/it-review-enthusiastic-cine-literate-stephen-king-adaptation

The reasons I wouldn’t converse with him may run into the hundreds.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Sir C, your reminiscence of a Christmas childhood in which the smell of your Mumsy's mince pies wafted up your fully-functioning nasal passages really touched me
(sniff)
:cry:

[Burney]

The reasons I wouldn’t converse with him may run into the hundreds.

Well you converse with me and I clearly use it. :shrug:

It simply means you know yer fillums and that for someone who knows their fillums not to have watched the Godfathers I & II is a fairly massive gap. :shrug:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Burney "When Harry Met Sally and Pretty Woman to name but two (actually, most romantic comedies)

And I only saw Die Hard for the first time last Christmas."

Those films are all a bit too modern for me

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Burney, 'fillums' I can just about accept but can you please relent from using the term 'Mammy'?
It reminds me too much of that bloke in drag
:furious:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Sorry, I menat 'refrain'

Bloody blocked nose

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

The last romcom I loved (if you can call it that) was The Apartment (partly because it's impossible to watch it without falling passionately in love with Shirley Maclaine).

I'm genuinely shocked that you've never seen The Godfather, btw. How can you conduct normal conversations with other cine-literate adults without having seen The Godfather?

barrister mentions The Rolling Stones in court and His Lordship looks quizzical and says "The Rolling who?"

(I miss Rumpole)

[Sir C]

Well you converse with me and I clearly use it. :shrug:

It simply means you know yer fillums and that for someone who knows their fillums not to have watched the Godfathers I & II is a fairly massive gap. :shrug:

It's only a film, old boy. Two films.

You've never seen When Harry Met Sally. Billy Crystal at his wisecracking best? 'Surrey with the fringe on top' on the karaoke machine? That's a massive gap.

[Sir C]

Sir C, your reminiscence of a Christmas childhood in which the smell of your Mumsy's mince pies wafted up your fully-functioning nasal passages really touched me
(sniff)
:cry:

Aww, ty s. They were rank, mind. She couldn't cook at all, bless her. :-(

[IUFG]

... but can you please relent from using the term 'Mammy'?
It reminds me too much of that bloke in drag
:furious:


see, it is that type of Irisherness he cannot hide.

[Burney]

barrister mentions The Rolling Stones in court and His Lordship looks quizzical and says "The Rolling who?"

(I miss Rumpole)

For him not to have seen The Godfather in the 47 years it's been out does suggest an almost wilful attempt to avoid it, doesn't it? I mean you'd have seen it by accident, wouldn't you?

[Burney]

It's only a film, old boy. Two films.

You've never seen When Harry Met Sally. Billy Crystal at his wisecracking best? 'Surrey with the fringe on top' on the karaoke machine? That's a massive gap.

For my money, the two together represent the greatest film(s) of all time. However good you think When Harry Met Sally to be, it's a mere confection in comparison. Seriously, you need to remedy this situation forthwith.

[Sir C]

For my money, the two together represent the greatest film(s) of all time. However good you think When Harry Met Sally to be, it's a mere confection in comparison. Seriously, you need to remedy this situation forthwith.

I've considered it, but I think it's too late. Honestly, the first time I see Brando with the cotton wool stuffed into his cheeks I'll piss myself.

I've never seen Enter The Dragon. Or Last Tango In Paris.

[Sir C]

For him not to have seen The Godfather in the 47 years it's been out does suggest an almost wilful attempt to avoid it, doesn't it? I mean you'd have seen it by accident, wouldn't you?

Nah, it takes commitment to sit and watch it.

The only important movie I've ever stumbled across by accident and sat and enjoyed is Mann's masterpiece.

[Sir C]

I've never seen any of The Godfather's either, no point now as they couldn't possibly live up to the hype imo

My list of classic movies I haven't seen is amazing/shocking, shame I can't remember any atm :-\

Four Weddings and a Funeral? I love that movie.

[Pokster]

I've considered it, but I think it's too late. Honestly, the first time I see Brando with the cotton wool stuffed into his cheeks I'll piss myself.

I've never seen Enter The Dragon. Or Last Tango In Paris.

I've not seen any of those either :shrug:

[Burney]

I've considered it, but I think it's too late. Honestly, the first time I see Brando with the cotton wool stuffed into his cheeks I'll piss myself.

I've never seen Enter The Dragon. Or Last Tango In Paris.

Enter The Dragon is boring - like most chopsocky movies. Last Tango in Paris is unbelievably tedious - no amount of nudity or cheeky bumsex is going to make up for the extraordinary longueurs.

You've never seen James Caan as Sonny? You've never seen Luca Brazzi? Clemenza? You know nothing of Frankie Five Angels? You've never heard Brando say 'Tattaglia's a pimp'?

Mate. Just watch the fúcker.

[Burney]

Nah, it takes commitment to sit and watch it.

The only important movie I've ever stumbled across by accident and sat and enjoyed is Mann's masterpiece.

The Last of The Mohicans? Absolutely.

[Sir C]

I've not seen any of those either :shrug:

Well according to b you've got a great big hole where your soul should be, or something.

Apparently it's 'important' to have seen certain films. :rolleyes:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

For balance, I don't think b's ever seen a James Bond movie

[Burney]

Well according to b you've got a great big hole where your soul should be, or something.

Apparently it's 'important' to have seen certain films. :rolleyes:

I didn't say 'important'. I said it seemed a shame not to watch two of the greatest movies ever made out of sheer pig-headedness.

[Burney]

For balance, I don't think b's ever seen a James Bond movie

:nono: Not true. I watched Casino Royale. And I've seen all of Live And Let Die - just not in one sitting.

James Bond is lame, though. He's no George Smiley.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

How'd you like your tea, Mr Smiley?
Just stirred, thank you

[Burney]

How'd you like your tea, Mr Smiley?
Just stirred, thank you

Smiley didn't do quips. He just polished his glasses with the fat end of his tie and was all clever and that.

[WES]

Smiley didn't do quips. He just polished his glasses with the fat end of his tie and was all clever and that.

I love the scene with Robert Duvall and the movie producer discussing Johnny Fontaine getting the part - 'and a man in my position can't be made to look ridiculous!!!'

Superb. Also, Clemenza. Just him being Clemenza.

But the horses head is just stupid. I mean, who can't have wondered how in f*ck's name they got it into his bed without him noticing it?

[barrybueno]

Four Weddings and a Funeral? I love that movie.

Oh no fúck that C. Schindler's List, The Deer Hunter and Heat are a few I've just noticed on imdb.

[Burney]

I love the scene with Robert Duvall and the movie producer discussing Johnny Fontaine getting the part - 'and a man in my position can't be made to look ridiculous!!!'

Superb. Also, Clemenza. Just him being Clemenza.

But the horses head is just stupid. I mean, who can't have wondered how in f*ck's name they got it into his bed without him noticing it?

"Well, let me tell you something, my kraut-mick friend..." makes me laugh every time.

[WES]

"Well, let me tell you something, my kraut-mick friend..." makes me laugh every time.

'she was beautiful, she was young, she was innocent, she was the greatest piece of ass I've ever had and I've had them all over the world!!!!'

:hehe:

edited as I have it on my iPad so that's it exactly

[Burney]

'she was talented, she was beautiful, she was the best piece of ass I've ever had and I've had them all!!!!'

:hehe:

In fact, Jack Woltz is a very good comic turn. "I don't care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork!"