Can we please stop calling each other names?

[Sir C]

Someone expressing an opinion which differs from yours is not automatically 'spouting bóllocks'. A chap with the opposite political affiliation to you isn't a deranged lunatic and needn't be attacked as such.

Let us remember that under the skin we all gooners and that all that mattress.

Now let's have a big cuddle. No touching winkles.

[Pokster]

Someone expressing an opinion which differs from yours is not automatically 'spouting bóllocks'. A chap with the opposite political affiliation to you isn't a deranged lunatic and needn't be attacked as such.

Let us remember that under the skin we all gooners and that all that mattress.

Now let's have a big cuddle. No touching winkles.

So stop calling them the loony left then, you ****

[Burney]

Someone expressing an opinion which differs from yours is not automatically 'spouting bóllocks'. A chap with the opposite political affiliation to you isn't a deranged lunatic and needn't be attacked as such.

Let us remember that under the skin we all gooners and that all that mattress.

Now let's have a big cuddle. No touching winkles.

I'm sorry, but anyone who is considering voting a Jew-hating, terrorist-loving communist into power isn't getting a cuddle from me just because they support Arsenal.
I'd be much more inclined to jam electric wires up their japseye and start cranking up the juice, to be honest.

[Monty92]

Someone expressing an opinion which differs from yours is not automatically 'spouting bóllocks'. A chap with the opposite political affiliation to you isn't a deranged lunatic and needn't be attacked as such.

Let us remember that under the skin we all gooners and that all that mattress.

Now let's have a big cuddle. No touching winkles.

I wish I still had the vim and vigor to wish cancer on people :-(

[Burney]

I wish I still had the vim and vigor to wish cancer on people :-(

Thing is, after a certain age, it starts happening whether you wish it on them or not. :old:

[Sir C]

I'm sorry, but anyone who is considering voting a Jew-hating, terrorist-loving communist into power isn't getting a cuddle from me just because they support Arsenal.
I'd be much more inclined to jam electric wires up their japseye and start cranking up the juice, to be honest.

There's no **** here mental enough to vote for that filth, surely? :yikes:

[Tony C]

Here’s the problem though...

[Message Post removed by AWIMB moderator 2.40pm]

[redgunamo]

Not really, no. We're British. It's what we do :shrug:

You're starting to sound like some sort of Kraut.



Someone expressing an opinion which differs from yours is not automatically 'spouting bóllocks'. A chap with the opposite political affiliation to you isn't a deranged lunatic and needn't be attacked as such.

Let us remember that under the skin we all gooners and that all that mattress.

Now let's have a big cuddle. No touching winkles.

[Sir C]

So stop calling them the loony left then, you ****

Explain to me how jazz hands instead of clapping, or 346 different genders, or diversity co-ordinators or Diane Abbott isn't loony?

Bald northern kúnt.

[Tony C]

What the....

[Pokster]

Explain to me how jazz hands instead of clapping, or 346 different genders, or diversity co-ordinators or Diane Abbott isn't loony?

Bald northern kúnt.

You bloody immigrants come over here telling us who to vote for, can **** right off to clog land and stick your finger in a dyke imho #giveusakiss

[Sir C]

Not really, no. We're British. It's what we do :shrug:

You're starting to sound like some sort of Kraut.

Fúck. You. Call me a moffe, would you? :vsign:

Riddle me this, r. If the Corbynkunt somehow did manage to become prime minister, the army and the security services wouldn't just stand by and let it happen, would they? I mean they would just declare a military junta and hang him and McDonnell in Whitehall, wouldn't they?

I'm counting on it.

[Sir C]

You bloody immigrants come over here telling us who to vote for, can **** right off to clog land and stick your finger in a dyke imho #giveusakiss

I'll have to remove a finger from your mum first tbh.

Haha you just made me think of WES's head and a plastic pint glass :goodtimez:

[Sir C]

I wish I still had the vim and vigor to wish cancer on people :-(

My nosetumour's got no cancer in it yet. I'm starting to feel like you've lost your touch. You're only getting half a result.

[Pokster]

I'll have to remove a finger from your mum first tbh.

Haha you just made me think of WES's head and a plastic pint glass :goodtimez:

Bald moose shagger that he is...those were the days, we had a decent team then

[redgunamo]

Not a chance, I'm afraid. For a start, our business would boom; you know what commies are like..

Besides, it's all about democracy nowadays. That requires that corrupt politicos are to be held responsible, not honest, decent army types.


Fúck. You. Call me a moffe, would you? :vsign:

Riddle me this, r. If the Corbynkunt somehow did manage to become prime minister, the army and the security services wouldn't just stand by and let it happen, would they? I mean they would just declare a military junta and hang him and McDonnell in Whitehall, wouldn't they?

I'm counting on it.

[Sir C]

Not a chance, I'm afraid. For a start, our business would boom; you know what commies are like..

Besides, it's all about democracy nowadays. That requires that corrupt politicos are to be held responsible, not honest, decent army types.

Always with the pragmatism!

Oy ve.

[WES]

There's no **** here mental enough to vote for that filth, surely? :yikes:

Have you checked FB recently?

Withnail, Frimmers and Neg are filled with Jeremy love. Thankfully, Ian Harvey blocked me years ago for pointing out that he's a bit stupid...

[Sir C]

Have you checked FB recently?

Withnail, Frimmers and Neg are filled with Jeremy love. Thankfully, Ian Harvey blocked me years ago for pointing out that he's a bit stupid...

They're not here though, are they?

Also, they have a decidedly low opinion of those of us who remain, I notice. Hardly shining examples of the kinder, gentler politics so beloved of Grandpa Semtex.

[Burney]

There's no **** here mental enough to vote for that filth, surely? :yikes:

Pokster almost certainly will. And I have my suspicions about la.

[Burney]

They're not here though, are they?

Also, they have a decidedly low opinion of those of us who remain, I notice. Hardly shining examples of the kinder, gentler politics so beloved of Grandpa Semtex.

Harvey and Neg were always poisonous ****s, though, if we're honest. Frimmers was OK, but a bit chippy, plus he's a cyclist and a teacher - a combination of pursuits that ought always to have made one suspicious. Withnail thought The Clash were good, which is always a sign of terrible judgement.

[Pokster]

Pokster almost certainly will. And I have my suspicions about la.

Why do you assume I will???? IF I didn't vote Tory it would be LDEMS (Labour have no chance of winning where I live), and we are one of the few outposts that voted remain

[Burney]

Why do you assume I will???? IF I didn't vote Tory it would be LDEMS (Labour have no chance of winning where I live), and we are one of the few outposts that voted remain

A vote for the Lib Dems is a vote to put Corbyn in Downing Street. :shrug: So I'm right and you are, in effect, voting for Jeremy Corbyn.

[Sir C]

Harvey and Neg were always poisonous ****s, though, if we're honest. Frimmers was OK, but a bit chippy, plus he's a cyclist and a teacher - a combination of pursuits that ought always to have made one suspicious. Withnail thought The Clash were good, which is always a sign of terrible judgement.

He's not a teacher, he's an automotive electrician. I'm not sure that makes much difference though.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I'm sorry, but anyone who is considering voting a Jew-hating, terrorist-loving communist into power isn't getting a cuddle from me just because they support Arsenal.
I'd be much more inclined to jam electric wires up their japseye and start cranking up the juice, to be honest.

the way you're not really going to vote for a mendacious, sexually incontinent, islamophobic, democracy hating Bullingdon quarter-wit are you?

[Burney]

He's not a teacher, he's an automotive electrician. I'm not sure that makes much difference though.

That's right. His wife's a teacher. I'm thinking of her. I seem to remember him waxing vituperative about Michael Gove on one occasion for having the temerity to attempt to improve the education system against the wishes of the communists who make up 95% of the teaching profession.

[Pokster]

A vote for the Lib Dems is a vote to put Corbyn in Downing Street. :shrug: So I'm right and you are, in effect, voting for Jeremy Corbyn.

No, you're being a bit of a an idiot, but don't let that stop you.

[Sir C]

the way you're not really going to vote for a mendacious, sexually incontinent, islamophobic, democracy hating Bullingdon quarter-wit are you?

Let's just break that down h:

1. Mendacious. So he's a politician. But we knew that.
2. Sexually incontinent. You don't care where he sticks his winkle. Neither do I. Neither does anyone.
3. Islamophobic. Because of the 'letterbox' line? In an article supporting the right of Muslim women to wear it if they like? I'd say his attititude is significantly less Islamophobic than the governments of the extremely liberal European nations which have banned the burkha.
4. Democracy-hating? He is the only party leader who is determined to abide by the result of the referendum. So that would make him the opposite of democracy-hating.
5. Bullingdon? He was a member of a dining club at university. I expect you sank a few at the student bar while you were getting your City & Guilds in Jobbie Studies. So what?
6. Quarter-wit. He is an extremely intelligent chap. His biography of Churchill, for example, is quite excellent. You struggle with the signature when you sign on mate.

[WES]

Harvey and Neg were always poisonous ****s, though, if we're honest. Frimmers was OK, but a bit chippy, plus he's a cyclist and a teacher - a combination of pursuits that ought always to have made one suspicious. Withnail thought The Clash were good, which is always a sign of terrible judgement.

Withnail surprises me if I'm honest, would never see him as supporting someone like Corbyn.

Frimmers is loyal to his working class roots. Neg is Belgian and married a Jock, he deserves our sympathy.

Ian Harvey is an appalling human being. Didn't you attend his wedding?

[Luis Anaconda]

Pokster almost certainly will. And I have my suspicions about la.

Nope - can't really vote for any of the options set out. I am definitely not voting for the Johnson-led Conservative party but have no wish to vote for Labour. I might see if Holborn and St Pancras has a Scottish National Party candidate running -they at least seem like fun. Of course, due to our pathetic electorial system it doesn't really matter - Labour have a 30,000 majority in my constituency.

[WES]

That's right. His wife's a teacher. I'm thinking of her. I seem to remember him waxing vituperative about Michael Gove on one occasion for having the temerity to attempt to improve the education system against the wishes of the communists who make up 95% of the teaching profession.

No, she isn't a teacher either :-)

But you are right about Frimmer's hatred of Gove, he is willing to consider only one word with regard to MG, starts with a c and ends with a t and isn't cat. :-)

[Burney]

the way you're not really going to vote for a mendacious, sexually incontinent, islamophobic, democracy hating Bullingdon quarter-wit are you?

All politicians are mendacious - it's part of the job.
His sexual continence is of zero concern to me. I doubt Theresa May and husband ever strayed from the missionary position with the lights out, but that didn't make her a good Prime Minister.
There's nothing irrational about a fear of that pernicious and barbarous faith Islam, so that can get fúcked.
He is the only candidate offering to respect the democratic vote of 2016, so that won't fly.
I try not to hold what people do as teenagers against them and as far as I'm aware, being a member of The Bullingdon Club isn't illegal.
Whatever accusations his opponents have slung at him, nobody who knows him has ever accused Johnson of being stupid, since he manifestly is not. Jeremy 'two Es at A-Level' Corbyn, on the other hand...

[Burney]

Nope - can't really vote for any of the options set out. I am definitely not voting for the Johnson-led Conservative party but have no wish to vote for Labour. I might see if Holborn and St Pancras has a Scottish National Party candidate running -they at least seem like fun. Of course, due to our pathetic electorial system it doesn't really matter - Labour have a 30,000 majority in my constituency.

Hmmm. I'll take your word for it, la, but I'm keeping my eye on you.

[Sir C]

All politicians are mendacious - it's part of the job.
His sexual continence is of zero concern to me. I doubt Theresa May and husband ever strayed from the missionary position with the lights out, but that didn't make her a good Prime Minister.
There's nothing irrational about a fear of that pernicious and barbarous faith Islam, so that can get fúcked.
He is the only candidate offering to respect the democratic vote of 2016, so that won't fly.
I try not to hold what people do as teenagers against them and as far as I'm aware, being a member of The Bullingdon Club isn't illegal.
Whatever accusations his opponents have slung at him, nobody who knows him has ever accused Johnson of being stupid, since he manifestly is not. Jeremy 'two Es at A-Level' Corbyn, on the other hand...

I'd say we've covered that off nicely between us.

[Burney]

Let's just break that down h:

1. Mendacious. So he's a politician. But we knew that.
2. Sexually incontinent. You don't care where he sticks his winkle. Neither do I. Neither does anyone.
3. Islamophobic. Because of the 'letterbox' line? In an article supporting the right of Muslim women to wear it if they like? I'd say his attititude is significantly less Islamophobic than the governments of the extremely liberal European nations which have banned the burkha.
4. Democracy-hating? He is the only party leader who is determined to abide by the result of the referendum. So that would make him the opposite of democracy-hating.
5. Bullingdon? He was a member of a dining club at university. I expect you sank a few at the student bar while you were getting your City & Guilds in Jobbie Studies. So what?
6. Quarter-wit. He is an extremely intelligent chap. His biography of Churchill, for example, is quite excellent. You struggle with the signature when you sign on mate.

Fúckssake! You could have told me you were going to do that. We've totally duplicated our efforts there.

[Burney]

No, she isn't a teacher either :-)

But you are right about Frimmer's hatred of Gove, he is willing to consider only one word with regard to MG, starts with a c and ends with a t and isn't cat. :-)

Well that goes to show what I know. I suppose I must have just thought that the only people from whom I've ever heard that level of hatred for Gove were teachers, added two and two together and made five. Silly me.

[Luis Anaconda]

No, she isn't a teacher either :-)

But you are right about Frimmer's hatred of Gove, he is willing to consider only one word with regard to MG, starts with a c and ends with a t and isn't cat. :-)

I do find the idea of Mrs F as a teacher amusing though. I might ask if she has ever thought of it as a profession

[Sir C]

Withnail surprises me if I'm honest, would never see him as supporting someone like Corbyn.

Frimmers is loyal to his working class roots. Neg is Belgian and married a Jock, he deserves our sympathy.

Ian Harvey is an appalling human being. Didn't you attend his wedding?

In most respects Withnail is a thoroughly decent chap.

As far as Corbyn is concerned one can only surmise that the plates in his head have moved.

[Sir C]

Nope - can't really vote for any of the options set out. I am definitely not voting for the Johnson-led Conservative party but have no wish to vote for Labour. I might see if Holborn and St Pancras has a Scottish National Party candidate running -they at least seem like fun. Of course, due to our pathetic electorial system it doesn't really matter - Labour have a 30,000 majority in my constituency.

I bet you'd grow to like Boris if you listened to him narrating hsi biography of Churchill.

Plus, he likes a drink.

Give him a chance, la. You might end up the best of chums!

[Burney]

In most respects Withnail is a thoroughly decent chap.

As far as Corbyn is concerned one can only surmise that the plates in his head have moved.

Yes, I'd categorise him as an habitual lefty rather than an ideological one. Could be wrong, though.

And I think it's important to clarify that you went to Ian Harvey's wedding, not me.

Is he still married to her?

[Burney]

I bet you'd grow to like Boris if you listened to him narrating hsi biography of Churchill.

Plus, he likes a drink.

Give him a chance, la. You might end up the best of chums!

I liked the fact that he got a bóllocking for spilling wine on the sofa. We've all been there.

[Luis Anaconda]

Well that goes to show what I know. I suppose I must have just thought that the only people from whom I've ever heard that level of hatred for Gove were teachers, added two and two together and made five. Silly me.

You need to get out more :) Having worked for him, I have often stood up for him in the past, but his current incarnation is that a horrible **** (Gove not F - I haven't seen F for a while)

[Sir C]

Yes, I'd categorise him as an habitual lefty rather than an ideological one. Could be wrong, though.

And I think it's important to clarify that you went to Ian Harvey's wedding, not me.

Is he still married to her?

I have no idea. The day of his nuptials was the last contact I had with him.

I felt it important to take advantage of the free food and booze.

[Sir C]

I liked the fact that he got a bóllocking for spilling wine on the sofa. We've all been there.

She's got some Hampsteads on her, thon First Lady. Getting a bóllocking is one thing, but imagine if she chewed you out! :yikes:

[Burney]

I have no idea. The day of his nuptials was the last contact I had with him.

I felt it important to take advantage of the free food and booze.

Of course. And didn't it give you an opportunity to drunkenly abuse someone? Was that the one where you suggested a woman was fat or said something racist?

I used to think 'nuptials' was a dirty word when I was little. I was quite disappointed to discover it just meant wedding.

[Sir C]

Of course. And didn't it give you an opportunity to drunkenly abuse someone? Was that the one where you suggested a woman was fat or said something racist?

I used to think 'nuptials' was a dirty word when I was little. I was quite disappointed to discover it just meant wedding.

Yes, I am afraid I was appallingly rude to the young lady sitting next to me (who happily took it all in good part) and then inadvertantly racist. On about 6 occasions. :-(

[Burney]

She's got some Hampsteads on her, thon First Lady. Getting a bóllocking is one thing, but imagine if she chewed you out! :yikes:

Yes. In some lights she's quite attractive, in others not. Are they actually living in sin in Number 10? Or does she just pop round when he's up for a spot?

[Sir C]

Yes. In some lights she's quite attractive, in others not. Are they actually living in sin in Number 10? Or does she just pop round when he's up for a spot?

I bet the poor bloke hasn't had the energy for a shag in months. Imagine the misery of life as PM. I bet you get an hour off in the evening before your four hours sleep, then back to it... yeeuch.

[Burney]

I bet the poor bloke hasn't had the energy for a shag in months. Imagine the misery of life as PM. I bet you get an hour off in the evening before your four hours sleep, then back to it... yeeuch.

Yes. They tend to emerge from office looking about a hundred years old and with a weird, haunted look. Only Cameron seems to have avoided that in recent years. He seems to have come out relatively unscathed.

I think it is a bloody awful job. No wonder they all love it when they get to do fun stuff like have wars or order airstrikes.

[Luis Anaconda]

I bet you'd grow to like Boris if you listened to him narrating hsi biography of Churchill.

Plus, he likes a drink.

Give him a chance, la. You might end up the best of chums!
It was a very good book - I enjoyed it. I have no problem with Boris just the way the party has gone and his part in facilitating it. Raab and Patel in two of the great positions of state ffs

[Luis Anaconda]

Yes, I am afraid I was appallingly rude to the young lady sitting next to me (who happily took it all in good part) and then inadvertantly racist. On about 6 occasions. :-(


Wasn't I sitting next to you?

[Ash]

Labour incidents of antisemitism account for 0.08% of the membership. That’s one-third of the rate it occurs in the everyday population of Britain. In short – Labour is 66% LESS antisemitic than the general public.

https://off-guardian.org/wp-content/medialibrary/D0wnB05X0AAbZOW.jpg

[Burney]

It was a very good book - I enjoyed it. I have no problem with Boris just the way the party has gone and his part in facilitating it. Raab and Patel in two of the great positions of state ffs

Have you seen the tory manifesto, la? It's as red as a baboon's arse! All public spending, environmental nonsense, 'Our NHS' and no fúcking tax cuts :furious:

If it weren't for Brexit, I'd have to seriously consider whether I'd vote for them at all.

[Burney]

Wasn't I sitting next to you?

Did he call you fat or put his hand on your knee, la? #MeToo

[Luis Anaconda]

Have you seen the tory manifesto, la? It's as red as a baboon's arse! All public spending, environmental nonsense, 'Our NHS' and no fúcking tax cuts :furious:

If it weren't for Brexit, I'd have to seriously consider whether I'd vote for them at all.
Yes, but I don't believe a word of it :) As you said, politicians aren't truthful fellas at the best of times

[Luis Anaconda]

Did he call you fat or put his hand on your knee, la? #MeToo

Only the first few times we met

[WES]

Labour incidents of antisemitism account for 0.08% of the membership. That’s one-third of the rate it occurs in the everyday population of Britain. In short – Labour is 66% LESS antisemitic than the general public.

https://off-guardian.org/wp-content/medialibrary/D0wnB05X0AAbZOW.jpg

Hmmm - I'm not convinced you know, Ash, how many Labour parrty members have *actually* been guilty of anti- semitic behaviour.

And the general public isn't asking to be allowed to lead the country and take decisions on our economy.

[WES]

Did he call you fat or put his hand on your knee, la? #MeToo

Ian Harvey's wife is Asian and *cough* not particularly skinny.

Charles didn't insult and racially abuse the bride at a wedding, did he? 6 times? :-(

[Burney]

Ian Harvey's wife is Asian and *cough* not particularly skinny.

Charles didn't insult and racially abuse the bride at a wedding, did he? 6 times? :-(

Given that so many of the guests were asian, I think Sir C saw it as a target-rich environment for his particular brand of cheeky, but virulently racist humour.

[WES]

Given that so many of the guests were asian, I think Sir C saw it as a target-rich environment for his particular brand of cheeky, but virulently racist humour.

You know, I'm imagining a traditional Asian family having one of their daughters bring Ian Harvey home and being told that she planned on marrying him.

I'd seriously want to be able to speak Hindi if I was around for that :hehe:

[Burney]

You know, I'm imagining a traditional Asian family having one of their daughters bring Ian Harvey home and being told that she planned on marrying him.

I'd seriously want to be able to speak Hindi if I was around for that :hehe:

It's always interspersed with English phrases anyway, so it would be something like:

Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah - ferrettylittlegingercvnt - blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah -scrapingthebottomofthebarrel - blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah - forfúckssakedon'thavekids.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I'd say we've covered that off nicely between us.

Were you two stroking each other's winkies while you composed these identical posts (out in Berni's notorious shed no doubt).

And are you both suggesting that Mrs Thatcher ran around offering her fanny to anyone that showed the remotest interest?

[WES]

It's always interspersed with English phrases anyway, so it would be something like:

Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah - ferrettylittlegingercvnt - blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah -scrapingthebottomofthebarrel - blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah - forfúckssakedon'thavekids.

:clap: :clap:

I was trying to think of how they might describe his chin and teeth - ferret fits quite well

[Burney]

Were you two stroking each other's winkies while you composed these identical posts (out in Berni's notorious shed no doubt).

And are you both suggesting that Mrs Thatcher ran around offering her fanny to anyone that showed the remotest interest?

No. Mrs T was well taken care of at home, I'd say. Dennis was clearly a sexual Tyrannosaurus. You could tell from the twinkle in her eye.

Theresa May, on the other hand, looked like she'd tried it once on her wedding night and decided it wasn't really for her.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

No. Mrs T was well taken care of at home, I'd say. Dennis was clearly a sexual Tyrannosaurus. You could tell from the twinkle in her eye.

Theresa May, on the other hand, looked like she'd tried it once on her wedding night and decided it wasn't really for her.

I recall the notorious Lothario Clarke alluding to the fact that he had been allowed to finger-bang Mrs T in the Cabinet Office. The revolting old harridan was sending our boys off to be slaughtered in the Falklands while Alan Clarke was wetting his finger in her rank vagina!