PDA

View Full Version : Ooh, Masterchef Professionals!


Sir C
11-05-2019, 01:44 PM
8 weeks of head-shaking and smug superiority from my sofa. "Supposed to be a professional chef and doesn't know how to make a beurre blanc / joint a pheasant / poach a salmon?" :yikes: :cloud9:
Pat Vegas
11-05-2019, 01:47 PM
8 weeks of head-shaking and smug superiority from my sofa. "Supposed to be a professional chef and doesn't know how to make a beurre blanc / joint a pheasant / poach a salmon?" :yikes: :cloud9:

oooh it's that time of year.
Herbert Augustus Chapman
11-05-2019, 01:52 PM
8 weeks of head-shaking and smug superiority from my sofa. "Supposed to be a professional chef and doesn't know how to make a beurre blanc / joint a pheasant / poach a salmon?" :yikes: :cloud9:

opinion of your culinary talents garnered in your own kitchen alone? :-D
Sir C
11-05-2019, 02:05 PM
opinion of your culinary talents garnered in your own kitchen alone? :-D

Actually I have no great opinion of my own cooking, except that I do the simple things well (or at least, with care) and can manage the basic technical tasks - decent knife skills, consistent emulsion sauces, accurate judgement when sauteeing, that sort of thing.

Solid, but dull. That's how I'd describe my culinary abilities.
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:16 PM
8 weeks of head-shaking and smug superiority from my sofa. "Supposed to be a professional chef and doesn't know how to make a beurre blanc / joint a pheasant / poach a salmon?" :yikes: :cloud9:

My favourite bit is when they unearth the ones have clearly never done anything more complex than add a garnish to something they've reheated in a microwave and ask them to prepare lamb sweetbreads. Very funny imo. It gets a bit boring after that.

There was that private chef who made the final a few years back with his horrific poncified vegan nonsense and then dropped dead while running the London Marathon. How I laughed. :hehe:
TheCurly
11-05-2019, 02:18 PM
Actually I have no great opinion of my own cooking, except that I do the simple things well (or at least, with care) and can manage the basic technical tasks - decent knife skills, consistent emulsion sauces, accurate judgement when sauteeing, that sort of thing.

Solid, but dull. That's how I'd describe my culinary abilities.

I once made spaghetti bolognese.I couldn't have been more proud.
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:20 PM
I once made spaghetti bolognese.I couldn't have been more proud.

You put ketchup in it, didn't you, c?
barrybueno
11-05-2019, 02:20 PM
My favourite bit is when they unearth the ones have clearly never done anything more complex than add a garnish to something they've reheated in a microwave and ask them to prepare lamb sweetbreads. Very funny imo. It gets a bit boring after that.

There was that private chef who made the final a few years back with his horrific poncified vegan nonsense and then dropped dead while running the London Marathon. How I laughed. :hehe:

haha I didn't know that, I'm having my laugh now :hehe:

Verdict: Diet didn't include enough runner beans.
TheCurly
11-05-2019, 02:22 PM
You put ketchup in it, didn't you, c?

No,no....sauce from a jar of course but added in onions,garlic and what not.THAT I CUT UP MYSELF
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:22 PM
haha I didn't know that, I'm having my laugh now :hehe:

Verdict: Diet didn't include enough runner beans.

I wouldn't normally laugh, but he was a right smug ****, bb. Also, his food looked terrible.
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:27 PM
No,no....sauce from a jar of course but added in onions,garlic and what not.THAT I CUT UP MYSELF

:clap: :bow: This almost certainly makes you one of Northern Ireland's top 10 chefs, c.
barrybueno
11-05-2019, 02:30 PM
I wouldn't normally laugh, but he was a right smug ****, bb. Also, his food looked terrible.

Smug as well eh? He needed punishing, bet he was the sort of annoying **** who hassled people about their carbon footprints too.
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:32 PM
Smug as well eh? He needed punishing, bet he was the sort of annoying **** who hassled people about their carbon footprints too.

:nod: He'd have been all over thon Greta Tunbridge imo.
Sir C
11-05-2019, 02:34 PM
No,no....sauce from a jar of course but added in onions,garlic and what not.THAT I CUT UP MYSELF

What of the spaghetti, c? Did you add sufficient salt to the water to make it 'as salty as the Mediterannean'? Did you cook it until just al dente but not chalky?
TheCurly
11-05-2019, 02:41 PM
What of the spaghetti, c? Did you add sufficient salt to the water to make it 'as salty as the Mediterannean'? Did you cook it until just al dente but not chalky?

Oh i would put salt on my salt given the chance.In regards to the pissgetty I believe 5 minutes after it comes to the boil was my choice.
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:43 PM
What of the spaghetti, c? Did you add sufficient salt to the water to make it 'as salty as the Mediterannean'? Did you cook it until just al dente but not chalky?

Shall we tell him pasta has eggs in? :-(
TheCurly
11-05-2019, 02:44 PM
Shall we tell him pasta has eggs in? :-(

:D lol....ooh....i didn't actually eat it,b
I'm not a poof or owt
Burney
11-05-2019, 02:48 PM
:D lol....ooh....i didn't actually eat it,b
I'm not a poof or owt

Very wise, c. Foreign muck.
Sir C
11-05-2019, 02:57 PM
Shall we tell him pasta has eggs in? :-(

Does pasta count as a vegetable? It's got wheat in.
Burney
11-05-2019, 03:00 PM
Does pasta count as a vegetable? It's got wheat in.

No. Fried slice made with beastie fat has wheat in and it's definitely not a vegetable.