Ugh! Only a few more precious days until the bloody football starts again.

[Burney]

Were I to be granted dictatorial powers (and I'm working on it), I would decree that football cannot start until September and must be finished by mid April. I would also place a blanket ban on Summer international tournaments. This would be much more civilised and give everyone a proper break from Jeff Stelling, that shouty scotchman, Chris Kamara (?) et al.

[Pokster]

Were I to be granted dictatorial powers (and I'm working on it), I would decree that football cannot start until September and must be finished by mid April. I would also place a blanket ban on Summer international tournaments. This would be much more civilised and give everyone a proper break from Jeff Stelling, that shouty scotchman, Chris Kamara (?) et al.

Good to see the sun still rises in the East and that you are still moaning as much as usual, all is normal in the world

[Rich]

Were I to be granted dictatorial powers (and I'm working on it), I would decree that football cannot start until September and must be finished by mid April. I would also place a blanket ban on Summer international tournaments. This would be much more civilised and give everyone a proper break from Jeff Stelling, that shouty scotchman, Chris Kamara (?) et al.

We'll have barely finished the first Test Match of the English Summer and the football will be on. How has that been allowed?

Speaking of which, I'm not sure that we have a snowball's chance in hell of saving it, do we?

[Burney]

We'll have barely finished the first Test Match of the English Summer and the football will be on. How has that been allowed?

Speaking of which, I'm not sure that we have a snowball's chance in hell of saving it, do we?

Nope. We're doooooooooooomed!

Serves us right for picking Anderson when we knew he was an injury doubt and picking Ali (who at the moment can neither bat nor bowl and it would be a kindness to drop him) rather than a specialist spinner.

Mind you, the prospect of watching Smith bat endlessly for four more tests makes me think I might not bother with the rest of the series.

[Rich]

Nope. We're doooooooooooomed!

Serves us right for picking Anderson when we knew he was an injury doubt and picking Ali (who at the moment can neither bat nor bowl and it would be a kindness to drop him) rather than a specialist spinner.

Mind you, the prospect of watching Smith bat endlessly for four more tests makes me think I might not bother with the rest of the series.

Oh some lateral movement will cater for Smith, just you wait.

Agree on Ali - but we can't pick Rashid either, can we? His shoulder issues have really impacted his googly & the speed that he can bowl his traditional leggy. Do you pick Dawson instead, perhaps? He will at least do a smart job of containing & will always be a threat on a dry pitch.

Archer in for Anderson if he gets through his Sussex 2nd XI game (poor second team cricketers having to face him) & Dawson for Ali, imo.

[Rich]

Nope. We're doooooooooooomed!

Serves us right for picking Anderson when we knew he was an injury doubt and picking Ali (who at the moment can neither bat nor bowl and it would be a kindness to drop him) rather than a specialist spinner.

Mind you, the prospect of watching Smith bat endlessly for four more tests makes me think I might not bother with the rest of the series.

Also: Denly. Why?

[barrybueno]

We'll have barely finished the first Test Match of the English Summer and the football will be on. How has that been allowed?

Speaking of which, I'm not sure that we have a snowball's chance in hell of saving it, do we?

Thought the weather might save us but no. These gutless ****s probably won't even make the third session.

[Burney]

Oh some lateral movement will cater for Smith, just you wait.

Agree on Ali - but we can't pick Rashid either, can we? His shoulder issues have really impacted his googly & the speed that he can bowl his traditional leggy. Do you pick Dawson instead, perhaps? He will at least do a smart job of containing & will always be a threat on a dry pitch.

Archer in for Anderson if he gets through his Sussex 2nd XI game (poor second team cricketers having to face him) & Dawson for Ali, imo.

There was lateral movement in their first innings. **** played and missed, played and missed - and made 144. :-(

I would dearly love an explanation of how they applied caution with regard to Archer's injury, but failed to do the same with Anderson's. I'm not the only one. Sir Geoffrey was scathing about it on TMS.

[Burney]

Thought the weather might save us but no. These gutless ****s probably won't even make the third session.

I'm struggling to remember the last time we successfully batted to save a test. Cardiff in 2009? We must have done more recently than that, surely?

Mind you, I think batting to save matches is a dying art.

[Rich]

I'm struggling to remember the last time we successfully batted to save a test. Cardiff in 2009? We must have done more recently than that, surely?

Mind you, I think batting to save matches is a dying art.

It's OK - the lads have been practicing their range hitting this morning :-|

If it's not on the line of the stumps I want every single ball left alone. Also, we should just run down the pitch at the seamers and pad everything away. No way are you getting out lbw if you're 3 strides down.

[Ash]

I'm struggling to remember the last time we successfully batted to save a test. Cardiff in 2009? We must have done more recently than that, surely?

Mind you, I think batting to save matches is a dying art.

Was that The Panesar Innings?

[Burney]

Was that The Panesar Innings?

That's the one.

[Ash]

Mind you, the prospect of watching Smith bat endlessly for four more tests makes me think I might not bother with the rest of the series.

He's the reincarnation of Donald Bradman apparently. Anyway, proper technique is for people who don't have the ability to slow down time.

[Burney]

It's OK - the lads have been practicing their range hitting this morning :-|

If it's not on the line of the stumps I want every single ball left alone. Also, we should just run down the pitch at the seamers and pad everything away. No way are you getting out lbw if you're 3 strides down.

Oddly enough, I think the best advice anyone could give Jason Roy right now is to play as he would in 50 over match. Watching him try to bat the way he thinks a test batsmen should is painful.

[Burney]

He's the reincarnation of Donald Bradman apparently. Anyway, proper technique is for people who don't have the ability to slow down time.

By all accounts, Bradman was pretty dreary to watch as well. :-(

But no. Dreary batsmen I can live with - even ugly ones like Smith or Chanderpaul. But there's an almost wilful lack of elegance and an unnecessary, awkward ungainliness to Smith's batting that I find genuinely offensive to watch.

[Pokster]

It's OK - the lads have been practicing their range hitting this morning :-|

If it's not on the line of the stumps I want every single ball left alone. Also, we should just run down the pitch at the seamers and pad everything away. No way are you getting out lbw if you're 3 strides down.

With the umpiring in this match, yes you will

[Ash]

By all accounts, Bradman was pretty dreary to watch as well. :-(

But no. Dreary batsmen I can live with - even ugly ones like Smith or Chanderpaul. But there's an almost wilful lack of elegance and an unnecessary, awkward ungainliness to Smith's batting that I find genuinely offensive to watch.

Surely it goes without saying that if you're going to hit a big score consistently, the best way to do this to only go after the bad balls. Those that, as a certain Yorkshire-man might say, are asking to be hit.

There something I like about he way he sometimes points his stick at the bowler though after his shot though, as if part of a magical ritual.

[Burney]

Surely it goes without saying that if you're going to hit a big score consistently, the best way to do this to only go after the bad balls. Those that, as a certain Yorkshire-man might say, are asking to be hit.

There something I like about he way he sometimes points his stick at the bowler though after his shot though, as if part of a magical ritual.

Of course. But there are ways of hitting the bad balls that are pleasant to watch. Nothing Smith does is pleasant to watch.