Dear God but we’re dull.

[Sir C]

What did we do to deserve this rubbish?

[Burney]

What did we do to deserve this rubbish?

That’s easy. We hounded our greatest ever manager out of the club like a pack of petulant children.
Fúck us.

[Burney]

What did we do to deserve this rubbish?

How was your sausage, egg, beans, chips and so forth?

[AFC East]

How was your sausage, egg, beans, chips and so forth?

That sounds a lot more appetising than this drivel. Home made or in a lovely greasy spoon?

[Sir C]

How was your sausage, egg, beans, chips and so forth?

It was terrific, thank you. It just needed a little care. The beans reduced with some butter. The egg perfectly sunny side up. The chips fluffy and crisp in the appropriate areas. It could have been a banal grease fest.

It was a thing of joy.

[Burney]

That sounds a lot more appetising than this drivel. Home made or in a lovely greasy spoon?

Sir C was doing it himself I think. I assume his missus is away. She would never countenance such vulgar stuff.

[Burney]

It was terrific, thank you. It just needed a little care. The beans reduced with some butter. The egg perfectly sunny side up. The chips fluffy and crisp in the appropriate areas. It could have been a banal grease fest.

It was a thing of joy.

Lucky you. I had duck breast and mash. It was OK. But my mum cooked it, so that’s nice.

[Pat Vegas]

On the plus side I just had a massive half time sh1t

[AFC East]

Sir C was doing it himself I think. I assume his missus is away. She would never countenance such vulgar stuff.

She must be quite a catch. I’ve divorced women for less!

[Sir C]

She must be quite a catch. I’ve divorced women for less!

She enjoyed it very much. Ironically, naturally.

[Sir C]

Lucky you. I had duck breast and mash. It was OK. But my mum cooked it, so that’s nice.


Grey all the way through?

[Burney]

On the plus side I just had a massive half time sh1t

Was it a lucky shít or a jinxing shít, do we think?

[Burney]

Grey all the way through?

No, there was a light pinkness. And gravy.

[AFC East]

Was it a lucky shít or a jinxing shít, do we think?

I think your overcooked duck breast is under scrutiny.

[Pat Vegas]

Was it a lucky shít or a jinxing shít, do we think?

Hmmm I will pop back for another

[AFC East]

Hmmm I will pop back for another

I noticed Emery was out late. Was he in the next cubicle?

[Pat Vegas]

I noticed Emery was out late. Was he in the next cubicle?

Good evening. Emery is just one of my characters

[AFC East]

Good evening. Emery is just one of my characters

Not my favourite to be honest.