If you’re at home alone and go for a dump, do you still close the lavatory door...

[Burney]

...or are you a psychopath?

[Sir C]

...or are you a psychopath?

Close it and lock it. Otherwise Bertie comes and jumps onto my lap. :-(

[IUFG]

...or are you a psychopath?

close the door and open the window, of course. :toilet:

[Pokster]

Close it and lock it. Otherwise Bertie comes and jumps onto my lap. :-(

You spelt Berni wrong

[Burney]

Close it and lock it. Otherwise Bertie comes and jumps onto my lap. :-(

What a charming mental tableau you paint.

Surely it’s just natural human instinct, though? You’re vulnerable and don’t want anyone sneaking up on you as you defecate.

[Pokster]

...or are you a psychopath?

Can i ask why you want to know what AWIMBer's do while dumping? Are you some sort of freak?

[Pokster]

What a charming mental tableau you paint.

Surely it’s just natural human instinct, though? You’re vulnerable and don’t want anyone sneaking up on you as you defecate.

If you kept the door open you might see who ****s onto your towel at the gym

[Sir C]

What a charming mental tableau you paint.

Surely it’s just natural human instinct, though? You’re vulnerable and don’t want anyone sneaking up on you as you defecate.

It's my own fault. When he was young I used to make a sort of pants hammock and he would climb in and curl up and go to sleep. Sometimes I was trapped on the shítter for up to an hour. :-(

[Burney]

It's my own fault. When he was young I used to make a sort of pants hammock and he would climb in and curl up and go to sleep. Sometimes I was trapped on the shítter for up to an hour. :-(

OK, well that's one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard. :-(

[Pokster]

OK, well that's one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard. :-(

I think a "specialist" Doctor would have a field day with this

[IUFG]

If you kept the door open you might see who ****s onto your towel at the gym

That towel isn't soiled by the looks of things...
http://beta.ems.ladbiblegroup.com/s3/content/808x455/8da212895cda4d3e4fef2094709b9a1d.png

[Pokster]

That towel isn't soiled by the looks of things...
http://beta.ems.ladbiblegroup.com/s3/content/808x455/8da212895cda4d3e4fef2094709b9a1d.png

He's licked it clean

[Burney]

Can i ask why you want to know what AWIMBer's do while dumping? Are you some sort of freak?

Well I'll tell you, p. I have heard tell of people who will happily defecate with the door open and feel strongly that such animals need to be smoked out into the open.

Years ago, my then partner and I were friendly with another couple. One day, over lunch, they laughed about how when they shared a flat in London, they had the bathroom and the spare lavatory on opposite sides of the corridor and would not only leave the doors open while they shát, but would happily continue conversations while doing so.

:-( They were dead to me from that moment on. I never accepted another invitation from them again.

[IUFG]

He's licked it clean

that just made me vurp

[Burney]

That towel isn't soiled by the looks of things...
http://beta.ems.ladbiblegroup.com/s3/content/808x455/8da212895cda4d3e4fef2094709b9a1d.png

It's stuck together.

[Sir C]

I think a "specialist" Doctor would have a field day with this

What's odd about having a kitten sleep in your pants? He's very attached to me, that cat. Indeed, even now he sleeps each night curled up against me under the duvet. Sometimes he scratched my weenie by mistake. :-(

[barrybueno]

...or are you a psychopath?

Never, although I live on my own so it's kinda standard for me.

[Burney]

I think a "specialist" Doctor would have a field day with this

I'm just thinking that I have slept under the same roof as this madman, p. :yikes:

I also can't get the phrase 'pant hammock' out of my head. :-(

[barrybueno]

Well I'll tell you, p. I have heard tell of people who will happily defecate with the door open and feel strongly that such animals need to be smoked out into the open.

Years ago, my then partner and I were friendly with another couple. One day, over lunch, they laughed about how when they shared a flat in London, they had the bathroom and the spare lavatory on opposite sides of the corridor and would not only leave the doors open while they shát, but would happily continue conversations while doing so.

:-( They were dead to me from that moment on. I never accepted another invitation from them again.

Chat, shít, get banged

[Monty92]

Close it and lock it. Otherwise Bertie comes and jumps onto my lap. :-(

Your cat reaches orgasm if it sees you dong a poo?

[Sir C]

Chat, shít, get banged

:clap: wd bb.

[Burney]

Chat, shít, get banged

:hehe: Or in Sir C's case, 'Cat, shít, get banged'

[Pokster]

Your cat reaches orgasm if it sees you dong a poo?

It can't understand why he isn't burying it

[Burney]

Your cat reaches orgasm if it sees you dong a poo?

:-( As if this thread weren't bad enough, you introduce a Freudian typo.

[barrybueno]

:hehe: Or in Sir C's case, 'Cat, shít, get banged'

hehe. Who'd have thought a perfectly normal Fash Vegas type thread would have produced such a revelation from the C man?

[Monty92]

...or are you a psychopath?

I had a massive panic when we moved into the new house as it seemed to me that there were NO LOCKS on any of the three bathrooms*, until the landlord pointed out that there were, but they were particularly inconspicuous and small.

The combination of no bathroom locks and two small kids would have literally ruined my life.

*Yes, three bathrooms. :cloud9: :clap: :cloud9: :clap:

[Pokster]

I had a massive panic when we moved into the new house as it seemed to me that there were NO LOCKS on any of the three bathrooms*, until the landlord pointed out that there were, but they were particularly inconspicuous and small.

The combination of no bathroom locks and two small kids would have literally ruined my life.

*Yes, three bathrooms. :cloud9: :clap: :cloud9: :clap:

So you don't own this house???

[Monty92]

So you don't own this house???

We've done a 'deal' with the landlord as he doesn't want to sell it yet due to stamp duty implications (he's a developer with multiple properties), but he's formally accepted an offer and if we still want to buy it in a year/18 months, it's ours. Obviously he could totally shaft us as the agreement is non-legally binding, but it cuts both ways.

[Sir C]

We've done a 'deal' with the landlord as he doesn't want to sell it yet due to stamp duty implications (he's a developer with multiple properties), but he's formally accepted an offer and if we still want to buy it in a year/18 months, it's ours. Obviously he could totally shaft us as the agreement is non-legally binding, but it cuts both ways.

Just admit it. You're living in a cahncil flat :-(

[Monty92]

Just admit it. You're living in a cahncil flat :-(

That offset smoker video you sent me is a bit BBQ 101. I learnt absolutely nothing, frankly.

What I want to know is why I had to add about 5 chimneys of coal to get it up to temp.

Is it because I used fast burning lumpwood instead of briquettes? Is it because my BBQ is cheap sh*t?

[Burney]

Just admit it. You're living in a cahncil flat :-(

It's bad enough for the neighbours that a Jew has moved in with his swarthy brood - but now they find out he's renting? :yikes:

He's single-handedly lowering the property prices in Kent imo.

[Sir C]

That offset smoker video you sent me is a bit BBQ 101. I learnt absolutely nothing, frankly.

What I want to know is why I had to add about 5 chimneys of coal to get it up to temp.

Is it because I used fast burning lumpwood instead of briquettes? Is it because my BBQ is cheap sh*t?

:shrug: You'll have to experiment, won't you? You know, make an effort and learn about something. I've spoon fed you enough, it's time you struck out on your own and behaved like a grown up.

[Sir C]

It's bad enough for the neighbours that a Jew has moved in with his swarthy brood - but now they find out he's renting? :yikes:

He's single-handedly lowering the property prices in Kent imo.

I bet he's claiming housing benefit as well.

[redgunamo]

Yes, several hounds always disperse and dig in around the chamber in a sort of cohortes praetorianae, deep defence formation. They take up their positions and then promptly lie down and snooze away for the duration.

It's not for everyone, but I like it. Reassuring.



Close it and lock it. Otherwise Bertie comes and jumps onto my lap. :-(

[Sir C]

Yes, several hounds always disperse and dig in around the chamber in a sort of cohortes praetorianae, deep defence formation. They take up their positions and then promptly lie down and snooze away for the duration.

It's not for everyone, but I like it. Reassuring.

You don't find it embarrassing?

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Hey Sir C
You know when you said "cahncil" :hehe: you sounded just like Arthur Mullard
:music: Yus my dear Don't tell 'em no just tell 'em Yus my dear :music:

[Monty92]

You don't find it embarrassing?

I doubt Redgunamo has reason for embarrassment when his pants are round his ankles.

[Pat Vegas]

...or are you a psychopath?

dump yes but shower no.

[Sir C]

I doubt Redgunamo has reason for embarrassment when his pants are round his ankles.

No cat sleeping there, you mean? I suppose so.

Still, what if he made an inadvertent farty noise? Or, God forbid, a bad smell?

[Monty92]

:shrug: You'll have to experiment, won't you? You know, make an effort and learn about something. I've spoon fed you enough, it's time you struck out on your own and behaved like a grown up.

I thought that seeking the advice of a seasoned pitmaster like yourself was a good starting point.

I shan't bother again.

[redgunamo]

No. Long past that stage :-\



You don't find it embarrassing?

[Sir C]

I thought that seeking the advice of a seasoned pitmaster like yourself was a good starting point.

I shan't bother again.

I told you to buy a Kamado Joe or a Big Green Egg, and you ignored me and bought something made out of old Coke cans and spit :shrug:

Are you a bit... careful with money, by any chance?

[Sir C]

Hey Sir C
You know when you said "cahncil" :hehe: you sounded just like Arthur Mullard
Yus my dear Don't tell 'em no just tell 'em Yus my dear

:clap: And you'll be cosy as two bugs in a rug, two birds on a treeya, and when you get oldah, the secret of true armony is Yus my deah! :music:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Hi Jezza :wave:

[redgunamo]

Indeed. The first rule of dog ownership is don't get any that have bigger and better equipment than your own. This is where the vast majority of people go wrong. So I gather.



I doubt Redgunamo has reason for embarrassment when his pants are round his ankles.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Sir C , you could sing that as a lullaby to Bertie when you're gently rocking him to sleep in that y-fronted pant hammock

[Sir C]

Sir C , you could sing that as a lullaby to Bertie when you're gently rocking him to sleep in that y-fronted pant hammock

He has a special song already, s. I wrote it for him when he was a tiny kitten. It goes, "We love Berkitten, we do, we love Berkitten, we do, we love Berkitten, we do, oh Berkitten we love you."

He likes it.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

We've done a 'deal' with the landlord as he doesn't want to sell it yet due to stamp duty implications (he's a developer with multiple properties), but he's formally accepted an offer and if we still want to buy it in a year/18 months, it's ours. Obviously he could totally shaft us as the agreement is non-legally binding, but it cuts both ways.

He doesn't want to sell because he's hoping the market picks up and he'll up his price accordingly. Are you sure you're jewish?