I've had a request from the glw.

[Sir C]

Boiled gammon with parsley sauce. :gulp: (She's English, you know.)

I have a lump of gammon. Do I just... boil it? :-(

Parsley sauce. Can it really just be a bechamel with parsley in it? Really? :-(

And no, I'm not going to boil the fúcking gammon in the fúcking loft, because the vast numbers of troopers guarding my loft ladder won't let me in with a match.

[Burney]

Boiled gammon with parsley sauce. :gulp: (She's English, you know.)

I have a lump of gammon. Do I just... boil it? :-(

Parsley sauce. Can it really just be a bechamel with parsley in it? Really? :-(

And no, I'm not going to boil the fúcking gammon in the fúcking loft, because the vast numbers of troopers guarding my loft ladder won't let me in with a match.

Poach it gently with a bouquet garni, carrots, celery an onion, peppercorns, juniper berries, etc and you make the sauce with the resulting liquor and perhaps a dash of cream. Serve with cabbage and a rake of floury boiled spuds.

Deeeeee-fúcking-licious.

[Sir C]

Poach it gently with a bouquet garni, carrots, celery an onion, peppercorns, juniper berries, etc and you make the sauce with the resulting liquor and perhaps a dash of cream. Serve with cabbage and a rake of floury boiled spuds.

Deeeeee-fúcking-licious.

You're genetically programmed to guzzle boiled bacon and cabbage, you mick peasant. I'll take no instructions from you on the correct boiling of mayte.

[Burney]

You're genetically programmed to guzzle boiled bacon and cabbage, you mick peasant. I'll take no instructions from you on the correct boiling of mayte.

:music: Oh, I'm just a savage for bacon and cabbage! :music:

I strongly urge you to follow my recipe. Your wife will gasp as you present her with your gammon and give her a liberal serving of white sauce.

Oh dear. I appear to have turned into Herbert. :-(

[Sir C]

:music: Oh, I'm just a savage for bacon and cabbage! :music:

I strongly urge you to follow my recipe. Your wife will gasp as you present her with your gammon and give her a liberal serving of white sauce.

Oh dear. I appear to have turned into Herbert. :-(

I hope she doesn't mind the green bits in it. :-(

[Maravilloso Marvo]

I hope she doesn't mind the green bits in it. :-(

She wants parsley sauce without green bits in it? I don't know how to break this to you, but I think you may be up against it here with this dinner.

How about joining the craze of boiling your ham in 2 litres of full fat coke? I have done it and it's quite good actually, you get the sticky sweetness into your ham no doubt.

[Sir C]

She wants parsley sauce without green bits in it? I don't know how to break this to you, but I think you may be up against it here with this dinner.

How about joining the craze of boiling your ham in 2 litres of full fat coke? I have done it and it's quite good actually, you get the sticky sweetness into your ham no doubt.

No no, she realises that parsley sauce has green bits in, I haven't married a retard. That would be wrong, but kinda hot maybe?

Sweet isn't what I'm looking for in my bacon, to be honest. I'm more of a savoury guy.

[Burney]

No no, she realises that parsley sauce has green bits in, I haven't married a retard. That would be wrong, but kinda hot maybe?

Sweet isn't what I'm looking for in my bacon, to be honest. I'm more of a savoury guy.

I thought you had made this last night?

I made kebabs with wafer thin slices of leftover leg of lamb marinaded in cumin, coriander, Ras-El-Hanout, lemon juice, salt, garlic and dried mint. Hard-fried them to get a bit of a crust and served them with flatbreads, pickled chillis, hummus, chilli sauce, red cabbage macerated in lemon juice and salt, raw onion, lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, etc.

It was, frankly, far better than the original roast lamb.

[Sir C]

I thought you had made this last night?

I made kebabs with wafer thin slices of leftover leg of lamb marinated in cumin, coriander, Ras-El-Hanout, lemon juice, salt, garlic and dried mint. Hard-fried them to get a bit of a crust and served them with flatbreads, pickled chillis, hummus, chilli sauce, red cabbage macerated in lemon juice and salt, raw onion, lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, etc.

It was, frankly, far better than the original roast lamb.

I was going to but I bottled it. I'll try on Thursday.

Lamb sounds excellent. I have ordered a whole shoulder of lamb for easter weekend slow barbecueing/smoking. I might consider slicing it thinly, marinading it in the usual suspects and then loading it onto a rotisserie to make a shawarma effort...

[Burney]

I was going to but I bottled it. I'll try on Thursday.

Lamb sounds excellent. I have ordered a whole shoulder of lamb for easter weekend slow barbecueing/smoking. I might consider slicing it thinly, marinading it in the usual suspects and then loading it onto a rotisserie to make a shawarma effort...

Lamb is the traditional Easter meal, of course. And, while that makes sense seasonally and in terms of the pagan roots of the festival, in Christian terms the symbolic significance of lamb (agnus dei and so forth) makes it a bit fúcking weird, doesn't it? :-\

[Sir C]

Lamb is the traditional Easter meal, of course. And, while that makes sense seasonally and in terms of the pagan roots of the festival, in Christian terms the symbolic significance of lamb (agnus dei and so forth) makes it a bit fúcking weird, doesn't it? :-\

Yes. I was always somewhat puzzled by trhe exact process by which God's lamb removed human sin.

Religion's weird.

Ooh, and I'm also going to make a variety of naan or roti using the extremely high temperatures possible in the Kamado Joe, with a pizza stone. It's like having a tandoor!

[Luis Anaconda]

Lamb is the traditional Easter meal, of course. And, while that makes sense seasonally and in terms of the pagan roots of the festival, in Christian terms the symbolic significance of lamb (agnus dei and so forth) makes it a bit fúcking weird, doesn't it? :-\
tbf when "we" believe that we are eating the body of christ in communion, a bit of the old lamb is hardly going to make things much weirder

[Sir C]

tbf when "we" believe that we are eating the body of christ in communion, a bit of the old lamb is hardly going to make things much weirder

It's nice that on special occasions we get a sip of blood to wash it down, though. Nothing strange there, no sirree.

[Burney]

tbf when "we" believe that we are eating the body of christ in communion, a bit of the old lamb is hardly going to make things much weirder

You keep your dirty heretic talk to yourself in Easter Week, la!

Mind you, I'll bet they're going mad for it down your way, aren't they? I've always found German Catholicism to be particularly visceral. Their paintings and statues of the crucified Christ would give you nightmares for weeks.

[Burney]

It's nice that on special occasions we get a sip of blood to wash it down, though. Nothing strange there, no sirree.

Look, it's one thing consuming the consecrated host in a holy and mysterious ritual thousands of years old. It's quite another serving up the symbolic Lamb of God with roast potatoes, mint sauce and gravy.

[Sir C]

You keep your dirty heretic talk to yourself in Easter Week, la!

Mind you, I'll bet they're going mad for it down your way, aren't they? I've always found German Catholicism to be particularly visceral. Their paintings and statues of the crucified Christ would give you nightmares for weeks.

I went to easter Sunday mass in Salzburg a couple of years ago. I must say, the German language is surprisingly well suited to the liturgy. It was rather a moving ceremony.

Then I went and gorged myself on the Stelze :cloud9:

[Sir C]

Look, it's one thing consuming the consecrated host in a holy and mysterious ritual thousands of years old. It's quite another serving up the symbolic Lamb of God with roast potatoes, mint sauce and gravy.

Mint sauce is a strange thing, isn't it? Let's be absolutely honest here: no one is eating it for the mint. It's the vinegar, cutting through the lamb grease, that's doing the work.

Just put a bottle of Sarson's on the table and be done with it.

[Burney]

I went to easter Sunday mass in Salzburg a couple of years ago. I must say, the German language is surprisingly well suited to the liturgy. It was rather a moving ceremony.

Then I went and gorged myself on the Stelze :cloud9:

You know what's not OK? Eisbein. Why would they turn what could have been a perfectly good Schweinhaxe into a gelatinous, fatty mess? Dirty Berlin bástards.

[Burney]

Mint sauce is a strange thing, isn't it? Let's be absolutely honest here: no one is eating it for the mint. It's the vinegar, cutting through the lamb grease, that's doing the work.

Just put a bottle of Sarson's on the table and be done with it.

Of course. But mint and lamb do work together - hence the prevalence of dried mint in Greek and Middle Eastern lamb dishes.

Besides, the French serve shoulder of lamb with capers and vinegar for the same reason. You wouldn't say 'lose the capers', though, would you?

[Sir C]

You know what's not OK? Eisbein. Why would they turn what could have been a perfectly good Schweinhaxe into a gelatinous, fatty mess? Dirty Berlin bástards.

I had it once in a bar in Hamburg; it was late and I'd been driving all day and I was starving. They gave me this knuckle on a wooden platter with a sharp knife, a pot of mustard and a basket of rye bread, and I confess, my memory is of a magical experience.

I may just have been hungry, though.

I believe that on that same trip I was served rare fillet of hare for breakfast. Dirty German bástards.

[Sir C]

Of course. But mint and lamb do work together - hence the prevalence of dried mint in Greek and Middle Eastern lamb dishes.

Besides, the French serve shoulder of lamb with capers and vinegar for the same reason. You wouldn't say 'lose the capers', though, would you?

I like capers. I like the little, delicate capers. I like the fat capers. I even like the caperberries. But they are, essentially, vinegar delivery vehicles.

[Luis Anaconda]

You keep your dirty heretic talk to yourself in Easter Week, la!

Mind you, I'll bet they're going mad for it down your way, aren't they? I've always found German Catholicism to be particularly visceral. Their paintings and statues of the crucified Christ would give you nightmares for weeks.

Absolutely - no point doing these things half-heartedly. Besides, with all the religious days we basically get four day weeks for the next month and a half

[Burney]

I had it once in a bar in Hamburg; it was late and I'd been driving all day and I was starving. They gave me this knuckle on a wooden platter with a sharp knife, a pot of mustard and a basket of rye bread, and I confess, my memory is of a magical experience.

I may just have been hungry, though.

I believe that on that same trip I was served rare fillet of hare for breakfast. Dirty German bástards.

I suppose if one could just essentially turn it into a series of ham sandwiches it would be OK. When I had it I was in Hannover and with a German who insisted I have it. It was served with sauerkraut, boiled potatoes, mustard and something a bit like mushy peas. I picked at it politely, but watching this fúcker forking huge lumps of wobbly fat into his maw with every sign of lip-smacking enjoyment made me gag. :puke:

[Burney]

Absolutely - no point doing these things half-heartedly. Besides, with all the religious days we basically get four day weeks for the next month and a half

Tell me this, la, have you had the Weisswurst*? And what do you make of it?



*Couldn't be arsed finding an Eszett

[Burney]

I like capers. I like the little, delicate capers. I like the fat capers. I even like the caperberries. But they are, essentially, vinegar delivery vehicles.

I've taken to making my own pickled onions and cucumbers. They're pretty good - and really very easy.

[Sir C]

I've taken to making my own pickled onions and cucumbers. They're pretty good - and really very easy.

Surely that involves peeling little onions? :-(

[Burney]

Surely that involves peeling little onions? :-(

Yes, but that is literally the most difficult bit (apart from heating the vinegar with the various pickling spices, which can make a bit of a honk). You then salt them on kitchen towel for a day to leach out the moisture and ensure crispness when pickled.

[Sir C]

Yes, but that is literally the most difficult bit (apart from heating the vinegar with the various pickling spices, which can make a bit of a honk). You then salt them on kitchen towel for a day to leach out the moisture and ensure crispness when pickled.

My least favourite kitchen activity is peeling onions. Of any size. Also shallots. And garlic. Let's say all the aliums. Alia?

[Burney]

My least favourite kitchen activity is peeling onions. Of any size. Also shallots. And garlic. Let's say all the aliums. Alia?

Pro-tip (at least as far as onions are concerned): Sacrifice the first layer of onion. Cut through the skin and first layer and you're no longer fúcking about with the stupid papery bit and can do it in half the time.

[Sir C]

Pro-tip (at least as far as onions are concerned): Sacrifice the first layer of onion. Cut through the skin and first layer and you're no longer fúcking about with the stupid papery bit and can do it in half the time.

:nod: That is my MO. I still hate it.

[Burney]

:nod: That is my MO. I still hate it.

It's worth the suffering to have complete control over the nature of your pickled onions, though.