Forgive me foodWIMB for I am not worthy. For at least a year

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I have been using pre-chopped frozen onions.

I just couldn't bear the pain of chopping them myself anymore :cry:

[Ash]

Bloody hell, Herbs.

Are you going to tell us you like to wear a nappy as well?

[Sir C]

I have been using pre-chopped frozen onions.

I just couldn't bear the pain of chopping them myself anymore :cry:

I rather enjoy the routine of it. Each post-work evening begins in the same way, each and every day:

1. Collect eggs from girls.
2. Feed cats.
3. Pour glass of wine.
4. Select podcast/audiobook.
5. Chop the onions and the garlic.

In a volatile world, there is a lot to be said for calming predictability.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Bloody hell, Herbs.

Are you going to tell us you like to wear a nappy as well?

I'm like the lion in Wizard of Oz Ash. I talk tough and can behave with belligerent malice toward people of a gentle demeanour when I want to bully them but the prospect of chopping onions and the stinging eyes makes me tremble like a girl :cry:

You see? There I go again

[Burney]

I rather enjoy the routine of it. Each post-work evening begins in the same way, each and every day:

1. Collect eggs from girls.
2. Feed cats.
3. Pour glass of wine.
4. Select podcast/audiobook.
5. Chop the onions and the garlic.

In a volatile world, there is a lot to be said for calming predictability.

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

[Burney]

I'm like the lion in Wizard of Oz Ash. I talk tough and can behave with belligerent malice toward people of a gentle demeanour when I want to bully them but the prospect of chopping onions and the stinging eyes makes me tremble like a girl :cry:

You see? There I go again

I’ve found that wearing contact lenses renders me entirely immune to onions. So there’s your answer.
That, or actually behaving like a fúcking man, of course.

[Luis Anaconda]

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

You need this www.wreckroom.co.uk

[Sir C]

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

You've met my wife, right? :hehe:

She does attempt to engage me in conversation on occasion. I find a withering look and turning the volume up serves to dissuade her from this regrettable course.

[Sir C]

I’ve found that wearing contact lenses renders me entirely immune to onions. So there’s your answer.
That, or actually behaving like a fúcking man, of course.

I tried to get them in today. Failed. Now my eyeballs hurt. :-(

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Yes. But does the wife then get home and ruin your moment of calm?

Mine comes in and starts cleaning things up when I’m cooking and talking to me about her day or done such nonsense while I’m trying to listen to my audiobook. Drives me insane.

Come now b, feigning interest in the GLW's chitter-chatter is easy. Just punctuate her conversion with any of the following "Good Lord, Well I never, Mercy Me, Really!" - all delivered with a hint of sympathetic incredulity of course.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I tried to get them in today. Failed. Now my eyeballs hurt. :-(

I was so fúcking useless at my first training session I couldn't even find the lens in the little pod and confidently assured the lady, also oriental btw, that there couldn't possibly be a lens in there.

The key is make sure the fingers you pull down on the bottom of your eye, to open the eye, remain dry and grippy. Once the skin under your eye becomes wet you've had it. All gets too slippery. Oh and manning the fúck up helps too.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

You've met my wife, right? :hehe:

She does attempt to engage me in conversation on occasion. I find a withering look and turning the volume up serves to dissuade her from this regrettable course.

Careful old boy. Some young weasel will come along and pretend to be interested in her and before you know, they've absconded with your wealth.

[Sir C]

Careful old boy. Some young weasel will come along and pretend to be interested in her and before you know, they've absconded with your wealth.

You think she'd give up her life of glamour? Who else is going to treat her to a large shish on a Wednesday? Eat in, mind! #there'sposh

[Luis Anaconda]

Come now b, feigning interest in the GLW's chitter-chatter is easy. Just punctuate her conversion with any of the following "Good Lord, Well I never, Mercy Me, Really!" - all delivered with a hint of sympathetic incredulity of course.

Have you confused Sir C with Derek Nimmo?

[Burney]

I tried to get them in today. Failed. Now my eyeballs hurt. :-(

You is a poof.

[Sir C]

I was so fúcking useless at my first training session I couldn't even find the lens in the little pod and confidently assured the lady, also oriental btw, that there couldn't possibly be a lens in there.

The key is make sure the fingers you pull down on the bottom of your eye, to open the eye, remain dry and grippy. Once the skin under your eye becomes wet you've had it. All gets too slippery. Oh and manning the fúck up helps too.

ty h. Your kindness and thoughtfulness is much appreciated. I'm going to stop bad-mouthing you while I'm on your mum.

[Sir C]

You is a poof.

At one point I had both hands in my eyeball up to the elbows.

True fact.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

How do you contact lens wearers manage to fight the involuntary reaction of the eye closing when it's about to be poked by a finger with a lens on the end of it?

[WES]

How do you contact lens wearers manage to fight the involuntary reaction of the eye closing when it's about to be poked by a finger with a lens on the end of it?

By teaching yourself to overcome it. Takes a few weeks but it comes easy enough.

Birds adjust more easily appazza as they are used to applying eye makeup. At least that's what the eye doctor chap told me as he tried to get one into my eye for about the 8th time. :hehe:

[Burney]

How do you contact lens wearers manage to fight the involuntary reaction of the eye closing when it's about to be poked by a finger with a lens on the end of it?

By holding the eyelids open with the thumb and forefinger of the left hand and popping the lens in with the forefinger of the right.
This process takes me 30 seconds tops every morning.
These people are quadraspazzes imo.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Thanks WES and Burney