I dreamed I lived in a stalinist state where keeping chickens had become mandatory

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

and I was in the dock charged with "failure to keep chickens". I argued that I would only be in breach if I had attempted to keep chickens but had failed. The judge, Berni I think, called my defence an impudence and jailed me for two years.

Immediately upon my release I was arrested again - for failing to keep chickens for two years :-(

[Sir C]

and I was in the dock charged with "failure to keep chickens". I argued that I would only be in breach if I had attempted to keep chickens but had failed. The judge, Berni I think, called my defence an impudence and jailed me for two years.

Immediately upon my release I was arrested again - for failing to keep chickens for two years :-(

You non-chicken-keeping ****.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

You non-chicken-keeping ****.

Well at least I'm not having homo-erotic dreams about defecating demons which is clearly a simple metaphor for your subliminal desire to do sodomy to another man!

[Burney]

You non-chicken-keeping ****.

Why does one 'keep' bees, chicken and fish? Why does one not simply 'have' them?

[Sir C]

Why does one 'keep' bees, chicken and fish? Why does one not simply 'have' them?

Is it because they are dependent?

I'm down to one chicken. Poor, lonely Millicent. I don't want to get new ones until she dies, but it's sad to see a poor old hen trotting around without any sisters to keep her company.

[Sir C]

Well at least I'm not having homo-erotic dreams about defecating demons which is clearly a simple metaphor for your subliminal desire to do sodomy to another man!

Have you ever pulled jobbies out of a urinal, h? I bet you have.

[Burney]

Is it because they are dependent?

I'm down to one chicken. Poor, lonely Millicent. I don't want to get new ones until she dies, but it's sad to see a poor old hen trotting around without any sisters to keep her company.

I don't think bees are dependent. They do their bee thing and we just provide the hive and nick their honey.

I have been considering bees recently. But it's a lot of arseing about and getting stung just for honey given that I probably eat about a quarter of a jar of honey a year.

I could make mead, I suppose.

[SWv2]

Why does one 'keep' bees, chicken and fish? Why does one not simply 'have' them?

I have fish.

I try to keep them but the wee fúckers keep dying with alarming regularity.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Have you ever pulled jobbies out of a urinal, h? I bet you have.

Pulled 'em out of yer mum's arse c

[Pokster]

Have you ever pulled jobbies out of a urinal, h? I bet you have.

When your nose falls off you can do that job

[PSRB]

I have fish.

I try to keep them but the wee fúckers keep dying with alarming regularity.

Contemplating getting another tropical fish tank, just keep coming back to the same thought, "Can I be bothered?!"

[Rich]

Is it because they are dependent?

I'm down to one chicken. Poor, lonely Millicent. I don't want to get new ones until she dies, but it's sad to see a poor old hen trotting around without any sisters to keep her company.

How about a cockerel to pay her his respects?

[Burney]

I have fish.

I try to keep them but the wee fúckers keep dying with alarming regularity.

Are these indoor fish or outdoor fish, sw?

[Burney]

How about a cockerel to pay her his respects?

There’s not much respect in bird sex, r. It’s pretty damn rapey.
Ducks, for instance. Basically the Jimmy Saviles of the avian realm.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Rich "How about a cockerel to pay her his respects?"

#Spursy

[Sir C]

I don't think bees are dependent. They do their bee thing and we just provide the hive and nick their honey.

I have been considering bees recently. But it's a lot of arseing about and getting stung just for honey given that I probably eat about a quarter of a jar of honey a year.

I could make mead, I suppose.

:nono: I've looked into it. Maintaining the correct hive temperature is critical. Also you have to feed the buzzy little fúckers.

[SWv2]

Are these indoor fish or outdoor fish, sw?

Indoor.

Your everyday average tropical fish B - the guppy, the platy, the Tetra.

[Burney]

:nono: I've looked into it. Maintaining the correct hive temperature is critical. Also you have to feed the buzzy little fúckers.

Oh, fùck that, then. Needy little cùnts can find some other sucker.

[Rich]

:nono: I've looked into it. Maintaining the correct hive temperature is critical. Also you have to feed the buzzy little fúckers.

Isn't the whole point of bees that the eat/absorb/drink nectar and in turn provide vital pollination services to our flora?

[Burney]

Indoor.

Your everyday average tropical fish B - the guppy, the platy, the Tetra.

Sounds to me like you should have a word with your supplier. He’s clearly sellingbyou shīt fish.

[Rich]

Indoor.

Your everyday average tropical fish B - the guppy, the platy, the Tetra.

Would you mind if I asked 'why?'

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Oh, fùck that, then. Needy little cùnts can find some other sucker.

And the little ****s sting you when they get the 'ump

[Viva Prat Vegas]

David Banner got stung once
Didn't end well

[Burney]

Isn't the whole point of bees that the eat/absorb/drink nectar and in turn provide vital pollination services to our flora?

This was my understanding, r. There’s a chap on my allotments who has hives and wants us all to get into beekeeping. Given that the place is literally covered in flowering plants, I assumed it’d be(e) a doddle.
But this talk of feeding and hive temperature has put me right off.

[Burney]

David Banner got stung once
Didn't end well

‘Don’t make me ang-bee’?

[Sir C]

When your nose falls off you can do that job

My nose isn't going to fall off. Once the tumour within is the size of a watermelon, it will be amputated.

[Sir C]

Sounds to me like you should have a word with your supplier. He’s clearly sellingbyou shīt fish.

Tick Paddy's sticking Birds Eye boil-in-the-bag cod in butter sauce into his goldfish bowl and wonder why they don't swim, begorrah. :hehe:

No offence to any Micks.

[SWv2]

Tick Paddy's sticking Birds Eye boil-in-the-bag cod in butter sauce into his goldfish bowl and wonder why they don't swim, begorrah. :hehe:

No offence to any Micks.

None taken.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Have you tried filling the aquarium with water?

[SWv2]

Sounds to me like you should have a word with your supplier. He’s clearly sellingbyou shīt fish.

Nah, they are just tricky wee fúckers to keep and can die as a result of a trauma as insignificant as massive changes in water temperatures.



My latest guppy died on Sunday last. He was alive in the morning, then I noticed him just lying dead on the filter about an hour later. I expect he knew we were playing City and just literally lost the will to live.

[PSRB]

Would you mind if I asked 'why?'

Because they are rather satisfying to watch, very relaxing.....apart from cleaning the f'ing tank

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Easier to just select the Aquarium screensaver

[Monty92]

In the taxidermy room at the Horniman Museum there’s a bee hive that sits behind glass and has a pipe that goes through the wall to the outside so they can fly in and out.

It’s totally mesmerising to watch them do their bee thang.

I said “Horniman” :hehe:

And “thang” :-(




:nono: I've looked into it. Maintaining the correct hive temperature is critical. Also you have to feed the buzzy little fúckers.

[Sir C]

In the taxidermy room at the Horniman Museum there’s a bee hive that sits behind glass and has a pipe that goes through the wall to the outside so they can fly in and out.

It’s totally mesmerising to watch them do their bee thang.

I said “Horniman” :hehe:

And “thang” :-(

Did you wish cancer on my nose?

[SWv2]

In the taxidermy room at the Horniman Museum there’s a bee hive that sits behind glass and has a pipe that goes through the wall to the outside so they can fly in and out.

It’s totally mesmerising to watch them do their bee thang.

I said “Horniman” :hehe:

And “thang” :-(

Are things not supposed to be stuffed in a taxidermy room?

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

and I was in the dock charged with "failure to keep chickens". I argued that I would only be in breach if I had attempted to keep chickens but had failed. The judge, Berni I think, called my defence an impudence and jailed me for two years.

Immediately upon my release I was arrested again - for failing to keep chickens for two years :-(


Were these meant to be live chickens? You could have pointed them at your stash in the freezer?

[Monty92]

I’ve probably got some going spare if you can stomach living with a. Jew nose.

I know a good rhinoplaster, He might even chuck a circumcision into the bargain.


Did you wish cancer on my nose?

[Monty92]

It’s kind of in a side room



Are things not supposed to be stuffed in a taxidermy room?

[SWv2]

It’s kind of in a side room

Indeed. I googled the place.

"One of the Horniman’s oddest exhibits, and now part of the World Gallery, is its 100-plus-year-old merman (male mermaid), the so-called Japanese monkey-fish. Such objects were made in Japan to meet western demand created by the popularity of PT Barnum’s hoax, the Feejee Mermaid, but were often sold in the 19th century by con artists hoping to pass them off as real animals. "

[Burney]

Indeed. I googled the place.

"One of the Horniman’s oddest exhibits, and now part of the World Gallery, is its 100-plus-year-old merman (male mermaid), the so-called Japanese monkey-fish. Such objects were made in Japan to meet western demand created by the popularity of PT Barnum’s hoax, the Feejee Mermaid, but were often sold in the 19th century by con artists hoping to pass them off as real animals. "

We used to go on school trips there as a kid. It's absolutely marvellous. None of this trying to teach you stuff crap, it's just 'Here's a weird thing. Cool, huh? And here's another weird thing, etc, etc'.
All museums for kids should be like that imo.

[PSRB]

Are things not supposed to be stuffed in a taxidermy room?

The Hive is stuffed with bees?