I've been thinking about my mate Clarence.

[Sir C]

What would Clarence have to say about this modern obsession with giving midfield players specific, specialist roles? Was Clarence a CM, a DM, a holding midfielder, a box-to-box midfielder? He was none of these things and he was all of these things.

He was a midfielder, that's what he was.

[Burney]

What would Clarence have to say about this modern obsession with giving midfield players specific, specialist roles? Was Clarence a CM, a DM, a holding midfielder, a box-to-box midfielder? He was none of these things and he was all of these things.

He was a midfielder, that's what he was.

I got confused for a second there. I thought you meant Bruce Springsteen's dead saxophonist.

In answer to your question, I can't help but feel the whole nomenclature thing is completely out of hand.

These are the only football positions

Goalkeeper
Left Back
Centre Half
Centre Half
Right Back

Winger
Midfielder
Midfielder
Winger

Centre Forward
Centre Forward

Everything else is foreign nonsense.

[Sir C]

I got confused for a second there. I thought you meant Bruce Springsteen's dead saxophonist.

In answer to your question, I can't help but feel the whole nomenclature thing is completely out of hand.

These are the only football positions

Goalkeeper
Left Back
Centre Half
Centre Half
Right Back

Winger
Midfielder
Midfielder
Winger

Centre Forward
Centre Forward

Everything else is foreign nonsense.

Clarence Clemons could have done a job in Milan's defence, I'm sure. Big chap like that? No worries.

I agree with you but with the reminder that what are often referred toi today as 'wingers' rarely are. They are generally simply wide midfield players. A true winger ends the game with his outside boot coated in chalk and plays 20 yards higher than a wide midfielder. He should also have a name like Ruel and be clinically incapable of crossing a football.

[Peter]

Clarence Clemons could have done a job in Milan's defence, I'm sure. Big chap like that? No worries.

I agree with you but with the reminder that what are often referred toi today as 'wingers' rarely are. They are generally simply wide midfield players. A true winger ends the game with his outside boot coated in chalk and plays 20 yards higher than a wide midfielder. He should also have a name like Ruel and be clinically incapable of crossing a football.

Overmars was a bit of a modern winger. The concept of wingers seemed to die out because none of them could hit a cross.

Brian marwood could cross.

[Burney]

Clarence Clemons could have done a job in Milan's defence, I'm sure. Big chap like that? No worries.

I agree with you but with the reminder that what are often referred toi today as 'wingers' rarely are. They are generally simply wide midfield players. A true winger ends the game with his outside boot coated in chalk and plays 20 yards higher than a wide midfielder. He should also have a name like Ruel and be clinically incapable of crossing a football.

Wingers must get it to the byline and whip it into the mixer, where their efforts will be met with concussive force by the forehead of a burly centre forward. This is the law. Ideally, they should be willowy, somewhat effete individuals who occasionally display 'silky skills' or 'tricks' that result in them being horribly mangled by an outraged full back and left in a crumpled heap on the running track.

Proper football, that.

[Burney]

Overmars was a bit of a modern winger. The concept of wingers seemed to die out because none of them could hit a cross.

Brian marwood could cross.

I can never forgive Brian Marwood for having a really terrible song.

[Sir C]

Wingers must get it to the byline and whip it into the mixer. Ideally, their efforts will be met with concussive force by the forehead of a burly centre forward. This is the law. Ideally, they should be willowy, somewhat effete individuals who occasionally display 'silky skills' or 'tricks' that result in them being horribly mangled by an outraged full back and left in a crumpled heap on the running track.

Proper football, that.

Graham Rix looked like a proper winger but was only occasionally played as such. Usually Sammy Nelson would be tasked with overlapping him. Then, of course, he developed a taste for the younger lady, as well as an enthusiasm for the racial abuse of juvenile footballers.

Quite the varied career, really.

[Burney]

Graham Rix looked like a proper winger but was only occasionally played as such. Usually Sammy Nelson would be tasked with overlapping him. Then, of course, he developed a taste for the younger lady, as well as an enthusiasm for the racial abuse of juvenile footballers.

Quite the varied career, really.

Yes. Who would have thought at the time that Rix would have ended up joining our illustrious list of criminals and wronguns? He seemed so innocuous.

Mind you, Chelsea have form for sexual deviancy with young girls. Didn't they have a winger who got done for showing his cock to schoolgirls? Clive something?

[Sir C]

Yes. Who would have thought at the time that Rix would have ended up joining our illustrious list of criminals and wronguns? He seemed so innocuous.

Mind you, Chelsea have form for sexual deviancy with young girls. Didn't they have a winger who got done for showing his cock to schoolgirls? Clive something?

Clive Walker? Was he a flasher? Who knew?

Have you watched This Country? I am taken with the crime of 'peeping'.

[PSRB]

Wingers must get it to the byline and whip it into the mixer, where their efforts will be met with concussive force by the forehead of a burly centre forward. This is the law. Ideally, they should be willowy, somewhat effete individuals who occasionally display 'silky skills' or 'tricks' that result in them being horribly mangled by an outraged full back and left in a crumpled heap on the running track.

Proper football, that.

See: Walters, Mark

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Sammy Nelson
:hehe:

He went to court this year on a charge of indecently assaulting a pensioner on a bus in Brighton

[Burney]

Clive Walker? Was he a flasher? Who knew?

Have you watched This Country? I am taken with the crime of 'peeping'.

He was indeed, the dirty swine.

I must admit I've not watched it. As a rule I tend to assume that anything that starts life on BBC3 isn't for me. Is it good?

So what does 'peeping' entail?

[Sir C]

Sammy Nelson
:hehe:

He went to court this year on a charge of indecently assaulting a pensioner on a bus in Brighton

Whoa there big guy! Samy did what? Details man, we need details!

[Burney]

Sammy Nelson
:hehe:

He went to court this year on a charge of indecently assaulting a pensioner on a bus in Brighton

To be fair to Sammy, he must be a pensioner himself by now. That is surely some mitigation?

[Burney]

Whoa there big guy! Samy did what? Details man, we need details!

He was cleared!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5989757/Ex-Northern-Ireland-footballer-Sammy-Nelson-69-cleared-groping-pensioner.html

[Sir C]

He was indeed, the dirty swine.

I must admit I've not watched it. As a rule I tend to assume that anything that starts life on BBC3 isn't for me. Is it good?

So what does 'peeping' entail?

You should definitely watch it, it's excellent stuff.

We never learn the details of 'peeping', it's just a line. A very amusing line.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

"The woman said she reacted in 'horror' and told him: 'If you ever do that to me again I will give you such a slap.'

The court heard just minutes later he did exactly the same thing again leaving the the woman 'shocked and angry.'

But at Brighton Magistrates Court he was cleared of sexual assault though he pleaded guilty to a separate charge of assault after admitting he had grabbed her hand and held it to his face."

[Burney]

"The woman said she reacted in 'horror' and told him: 'If you ever do that to me again I will give you such a slap.'

The court heard just minutes later he did exactly the same thing again leaving the the woman 'shocked and angry.'

But at Brighton Magistrates Court he was cleared of sexual assault though he pleaded guilty to a separate charge of assault after admitting he had grabbed her hand and held it to his face."

The Nelson Touch. :-(

[Sir C]

"The woman said she reacted in 'horror' and told him: 'If you ever do that to me again I will give you such a slap.'

The court heard just minutes later he did exactly the same thing again leaving the the woman 'shocked and angry.'

But at Brighton Magistrates Court he was cleared of sexual assault though he pleaded guilty to a separate charge of assault after admitting he had grabbed her hand and held it to his face."

Nice one Sammy
Nice one son
Nice one Sammy
Let's have another one!

Or perhaps more pertinently:

Sammy's gonna get yer
Sammy's gonna get yer..

[SWv2]

I got confused for a second there. I thought you meant Bruce Springsteen's dead saxophonist.

In answer to your question, I can't help but feel the whole nomenclature thing is completely out of hand.

These are the only football positions

Goalkeeper
Left Back
Centre Half
Centre Half
Right Back

Winger
Midfielder
Midfielder
Winger

Centre Forward
Centre Forward

Everything else is foreign nonsense.

So you are dismissing the Libero, the centrocampista, the trequartista.

It is almost as if you have all forgotten that Jorge ever existed!

[Burney]

So you are dismissing the Libero, the centrocampista, the trequartista.

It is almost as if you have all forgotten that Jorge ever existed!

What do all those terms have in common, sw?

They are all in foreign! :judge:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

He's always been a deviant

There's also a story about the team being woken early one morning on FA Cup 3rd Round day by a hotel fire alarm
They all filed out and Nelson stood there in just his underpants , clutching his wallet

[SWv2]

What do all those terms have in common, sw?

They are all in foreign! :judge:

They are often used in football debate by other members of the family however I won't name him as I respect him too much.

:nod:

Red.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

:hehe:
Jorge had a strong allergy to the stock 4-4-2 system
Or as he called it (in a dim TalkSport caller accent) "For fah too!!!"

[Burney]

They are often used in football debate by other members of the family however I won't name him as I respect him too much.

:nod:

Red.

Yes, well red is pretty much foreign himself these days, I fear. After all, he married...well, there's no easy way to say this, I'm afraid...a German! :-(

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Graham Rix looked like a proper winger but was only occasionally played as such. Usually Sammy Nelson would be tasked with overlapping him. Then, of course, he developed a taste for the younger lady, as well as an enthusiasm for the racial abuse of juvenile footballers.

Quite the varied career, really.

Didn't he only start doing that when he went to the Chavs? I'm not saying everyone connected with Chelsea FC is a racist nonce, but.....

[redgunamo]

Overmars was a bit of a modern winger. The concept of wingers seemed to die out because none of them could hit a cross.

Brian marwood could cross.

Right. And since Alan Smith retired, nobody could head the ball anymore.

[redgunamo]

They are often used in football debate by other members of the family however I won't name him as I respect him too much.

:nod:

Red.

Only as terms of heightened derision and ridicule, Steve. Heightened derision and ridicule.

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

What would Clarence have to say about this modern obsession with giving midfield players specific, specialist roles? Was Clarence a CM, a DM, a holding midfielder, a box-to-box midfielder? He was none of these things and he was all of these things.

He was a midfielder, that's what he was.


Millennials, Sir C. They can't work it out and adapt.They need instructions delivered on a plate.