Holiday review - Lisbon, Ryan Air and Stanstead

[WES]

Lisbon - comes highly recommended. Great food, loads of history, interesting things to see and do, stuff yourself full of pastel de nata and great seafood dishes. I'm definitely going back. 9/10

Ryan Air - the flights themselves were fine, helped by Lisbon only being just over 2 hours away. Clean, decent seats, for a few bob more we had exit seats with loads of leg room. Problem was that both flights were late and this was probably down to some extent to it being a budget airline. Probably won't fly them again unless it was strictly necessary. 5/10

Stanstead - the most vile airport experience I have had in many years. Absolutely appalling on every level. If you voluntarily fly from there you are either a complete c*nt or you have levels of tolerance right up there with Mother Theresa. Never again under any circumstances and Mrs WES has some sucking up to do for having put me through it. 0/10

[Pat Vegas]

Stansted is far too busy for it's size. it's gets worse every time I go there.

I also don't like the way they have redesigned it, nowhere to sit.
Sometimes I just want to buy some cheap rubbish to eat I don't like this trend of making everything 'fancy'

[7sisters]

Back when it was a farty little hub, mid to late 80’s, I think, it was an absolute joy. I used to fly to Frankfurt regularly, I think with Air Uk.
You could park outside the terminal building and leave your car for a couple of days. I think it was a fiver for 24 hours.
Now the c*nts want 4 quid for. a ten minute drop off. 😫

[Luis Anaconda]

Lisbon - comes highly recommended. Great food, loads of history, interesting things to see and do, stuff yourself full of pastel de nata and great seafood dishes. I'm definitely going back. 9/10

Ryan Air - the flights themselves were fine, helped by Lisbon only being just over 2 hours away. Clean, decent seats, for a few bob more we had exit seats with loads of leg room. Problem was that both flights were late and this was probably down to some extent to it being a budget airline. Probably won't fly them again unless it was strictly necessary. 5/10

Stanstead - the most vile airport experience I have had in many years. Absolutely appalling on every level. If you voluntarily fly from there you are either a complete c*nt or you have levels of tolerance right up there with Mother Theresa. Never again under any circumstances and Mrs WES has some sucking up to do for having put me through it. 0/10

Last time I landed in Stansted they cancelled all the trains into London, which pretty much left me and many others stranded. All right for me as I just went and sat in the bar until they got them working again. Would have been a pain if you were left with a petulant, loud-mouthed child as Mrs WES was though

[PSRB]

Stansted is far too busy for it's size. it's gets worse every time I go there.

I also don't like the way they have redesigned it, nowhere to sit.
Sometimes I just want to buy some cheap rubbish to eat I don't like this trend of making everything 'fancy'

Sounds similar to Manchester, used to be a pleasure (especially as it's 10 minutes away) but now it's usually a nightmare especially if a PIA plane happens to land 10 minutes before yours!

In fairness, they are spending a fortune extending it, so hopefully it'll get much better.

[Luis Anaconda]

Sounds similar to Manchester, used to be a pleasure (especially as it's 10 minutes away) but now it's usually a nightmare especially if a PIA plane happens to land 10 minutes before yours!

In fairness, they are spending a fortune extending it, so hopefully it'll get much better.

See also Luton but that is mostly because a load of building work is being done. Still better than Munich - some stupid bitch somehow got through security without being checked and caused 200 flights to be cancelled while police looked for her. Including my landlord's who was going to Naples with his son - still haven't got their luggage back either

[Ash]

I also don't like the way they have redesigned it, nowhere to sit.


People aren't shopping if they're sitting down.

"I hope you're satisfied, Thatcher!" #Rick

[Tony C]

Well thanks for that.

Heading over to Basel later this month just for 1 day so I’ve been toying with Ryan Air’s early morning flight which will get me to the office by 9am and the evening flight back at 5.30pm.

Both utilising Stansted.

Will give it a miss and stick to Easy Jet from Gatwick but their 1st flight out will only get me to the office by 11am which means I’ll have to spend the night over there so I can finish off my meetings the next morning. No bad thing but would’ve liked to wrap things up in 1 day.

[Pat Vegas]

People aren't shopping if they're sitting down.

"I hope you're satisfied, Thatcher!" #Rick

I was watching some videos about UK airports and how make their money compared to other countries it was rather quite interesting.
I will beat their system by spending nothing whilst I am there.

Last place I want to waste money is at the airport I'd rather spend it on cigarettes (which now in UK airports are hidden away in a section what resembles a sex shop.

I also have no need for a oversized toberlone.

[Tony C]

PS Luton on a Friday afternoon :cry:

[Rich]

I was watching some videos about UK airports and how make their money compared to other countries it was rather quite interesting.
I will beat their system by spending nothing whilst I am there.

Last place I want to waste money is at the airport I'd rather spend it on cigarettes (which now in UK airports are hidden away in a section what resembles a sex shop.

I also have no need for a oversized toberlone.

Had you not given up on the smoking?

[Pat Vegas]

Had you not given up on the smoking?

sort of.
I am not sure why I typed that I was thinking 2 things and said cigarettes.
when I really mean spend it on holiday.

[Sir C]

Back when it was a farty little hub, mid to late 80’s, I think, it was an absolute joy. I used to fly to Frankfurt regularly, I think with Air Uk.
You could park outside the terminal building and leave your car for a couple of days. I think it was a fiver for 24 hours.
Now the c*nts want 4 quid for. a ten minute drop off. 😫

Too many people, sadly. The likes of Ryanair have made flying affordable to too many people. Too many, and the wrong kind of people. That's why it's unpleasant for the rest of us.

[Rich]

Too many people, sadly. The likes of Ryanair have made flying affordable to too many people. Too many, and the wrong kind of people. That's why it's unpleasant for the rest of us.

It's also why there are airports specifically tailored to that sort of clientele (such as STN) - Give them a Burger King, KFC, Whetherspoons & JD Sports and they're pleased as punch.

[Pat Vegas]

It's also why there are airports specifically tailored to that sort of clientele (such as STN) - Give them a Burger King, KFC, Whetherspoons & JD Sports and they're pleased as punch.

£15 + for a microwaved english breakfast :hehe: :-(

You know something is up when the food comes out before you sat down.

[Peter]

Lisbon - comes highly recommended. Great food, loads of history, interesting things to see and do, stuff yourself full of pastel de nata and great seafood dishes. I'm definitely going back. 9/10

Ryan Air - the flights themselves were fine, helped by Lisbon only being just over 2 hours away. Clean, decent seats, for a few bob more we had exit seats with loads of leg room. Problem was that both flights were late and this was probably down to some extent to it being a budget airline. Probably won't fly them again unless it was strictly necessary. 5/10

Stanstead - the most vile airport experience I have had in many years. Absolutely appalling on every level. If you voluntarily fly from there you are either a complete c*nt or you have levels of tolerance right up there with Mother Theresa. Never again under any circumstances and Mrs WES has some sucking up to do for having put me through it. 0/10

I used to love Stansted. Small, practical, easy to get in and out of and closer to North London than the others.

However, this is reliant on it not being busy. When it gets busy it simply cant cope and everything falls apart. I used to fly back from Ireland with Ryanair which meant you didnt have to get on the little train, no passport control and if you only have carry on luggage nobody can **** you over. Straight out the door.

All airports are ****.

[Sir C]

I used to love Stansted. Small, practical, easy to get in and out of and closer to North London than the others.

However, this is reliant on it not being busy. When it gets busy it simply cant cope and everything falls apart. I used to fly back from Ireland with Ryanair which meant you didnt have to get on the little train, no passport control and if you only have carry on luggage nobody can **** you over. Straight out the door.

All airports are ****.

City in the late 90s :cloud9: 30 minutes to drive there, park right outside the terminal, wander through at leisure.

Good timez.

[PSRB]

Too many people, sadly. The likes of Ryanair have made flying affordable to too many people. Too many, and the wrong kind of people. That's why it's unpleasant for the rest of us.

The glw regales me with many a story regarding various scum to the sun flights. How she doesn't plant a stilleto in the skulls of some of them, I don't know.

[SWv2]

I use Stansted for football trips and it is grand.

On arrival I am out of the place within 15 minutes and on departure I am normally a little under the weather so I just sit down and surround myself with soft drink beverages.

I then board the plane and return home.

Not sure what the problem is. Airports are busy places what with people and security etc and it is July after all.

[WES]

I use Stansted for football trips and it is grand.

On arrival I am out of the place within 15 minutes and on departure I am normally a little under the weather so I just sit down and surround myself with soft drink beverages.

I then board the plane and return home.

Not sure what the problem is. Airports are busy places what with people and security etc and it is July after all.

Well, based on my experience not having luggage will help. Sadly, most people who travel do. And not too sure how you were getting out of Stansted in 15 minutes. We arrived from an EU country and even those with UK passports were waiting in massive queues only to be faced with brain dead, unhelpful, antagonistic UK immigration muppets.

[Monty92]

Well, based on my experience not having luggage will help. Sadly, most people who travel do. And not too sure how you were getting out of Stansted in 15 minutes. We arrived from an EU country and even those with UK passports were waiting in massive queues only to be faced with brain dead, unhelpful, antagonistic UK immigration muppets.

I used a 'meet and greet' service last time at Stansted. I've no real idea who it was that met me at the terminal and took my car away. Nor do I have much idea *where* they took my car for the week I was away. But it cost me £55 and I'll never fly again without using the same service. Marvellous.

[SWv2]

Well, based on my experience not having luggage will help. Sadly, most people who travel do. And not too sure how you were getting out of Stansted in 15 minutes. We arrived from an EU country and even those with UK passports were waiting in massive queues only to be faced with brain dead, unhelpful, antagonistic UK immigration muppets.

Ah well bags for sure would be a potential issue as I have never travelled through with one which I needed to reclaim, not sure I have ever even seen a baggage belt thing working as I am through quite early in the morning.

In terms of passport control on arrival there is none (presumably) because of the common travel agreement between Ireland and the UK.

Oddly enough when travelling back to Dublin we are expected to queue and show the passport.

The 15 minute thing is touchdown, onto a wee bus that takes you to the terminal and from there you just walk straight up the steps (past baggage reclaim) and out.

[Ash]

I used a 'meet and greet' service last time at Stansted. I've no real idea who it was that met me at the terminal and took my car away. Nor do I have much idea *where* they took my car for the week I was away. But it cost me £55 and I'll never fly again without using the same service. Marvellous.

The funny thing is that since that day your clutch hasn't been quite working properly, the tyres are all worn, the parcel shelf is warped and the engine sounds as rough as fùck.

[SWv2]

The funny thing is that since that day your clutch hasn't been quite working properly, the tyres are all worn, the parcel shelf is warped and the engine sounds as rough as fùck.

Parcel shelf?

What is this you talk of A.

[Monty92]

The funny thing is that since that day your clutch hasn't been quite working properly, the tyres are all worn, the parcel shelf is warped and the engine sounds as rough as fùck.

Joy-riding my car would be a bit like raping a fat lass, or playing Mustafi in defence. There's simply gotta be better options out there, Clive.

[Ash]

Parcel shelf?

What is this you talk of A.

Just the shelf-thingy at the back of a hatchback.

What I described to Monty actually happened to me long ago when I lent my car to my neighbour who returned it some weeks later after his mate down the scrap yard had swapped out several working parts in my car for broken ones. My neighbour was a bit of a gangster, as it turned out. :-(

No good turn goes unpunished, as the saying goes.

[SWv2]

Just the shelf-thingy at the back of a hatchback.

What I described to Monty actually happened to me long ago when I lent my car to my neighbour who returned it some weeks later after his mate down the scrap yard had swapped out several working parts in my car for broken ones. My neighbour was a bit of a gangster, as it turned out. :-(

No good turn goes unpunished, as the saying goes.

Ah yes, I would incorrectly just refer to that as the back window (I know it is not the back window).

Why are you lending your motor to gangsters A? You could get caught up in heists, drive by shootings and tiger kidnapping none of which would suit you, or indeed Mrs A who may also be implicated.

[Peter]

Ah well bags for sure would be a potential issue as I have never travelled through with one which I needed to reclaim, not sure I have ever even seen a baggage belt thing working as I am through quite early in the morning.

In terms of passport control on arrival there is none (presumably) because of the common travel agreement between Ireland and the UK.

Oddly enough when travelling back to Dublin we are expected to queue and show the passport.

The 15 minute thing is touchdown, onto a wee bus that takes you to the terminal and from there you just walk straight up the steps (past baggage reclaim) and out.

THere was always a separate counter for those travelling from Ireland. FRequently the chap on this counter would ask to see a passport and whenever I was in a bad mood I would politely tell him that I didnt need one.

Since Ryanair built their own wing you dont even have to get on the wee bus, you can walk straight through.

[SWv2]

THere was always a separate counter for those travelling from Ireland. FRequently the chap on this counter would ask to see a passport and whenever I was in a bad mood I would politely tell him that I didnt need one.

Since Ryanair built their own wing you dont even have to get on the wee bus, you can walk straight through.

Wee bus last time I went through, Nov 2017 to be precise. 2-0. Mustafi and Sanchez.

[Peter]

Wee bus last time I went through, Nov 2017 to be precise. 2-0. Mustafi and Sanchez.

I think it depends which gate you land at. If you land at one of the ones on their wing, you can walk.

Mine would have been May 2016- Springsteen. Incident on 57th Street and Because the Night with Bono :(

[Ash]

Ah yes, I would incorrectly just refer to that as the back window (I know it is not the back window).

Why are you lending your motor to gangsters A? You could get caught up in heists, drive by shootings and tiger kidnapping none of which would suit you, or indeed Mrs A who may also be implicated.

Oh no, this would have been back in about 1992, when I was young, naive, and living in Finsbury Park. And I didn't know he was a crook before I lent him the car.

[Ash]

I think it depends which gate you land at. If you land at one of the ones on their wing, you can walk.

Mine would have been May 2016- Springsteen. Incident on 57th Street and Because the Night with Bono :(

You paid money to see Bono?

This might make the whole Rover business pale into insignificance.

[Peter]

You paid money to see Bono?

This might make the whole Rover business pale into insignificance.

I did NOT pay money to see Bono. He was a most unwelcome surprise guest, for one song. I went for a piss.

I dont like Because the Night.....

[Sir C]

You paid money to see Bono?

This might make the whole Rover business pale into insignificance.

I paid money to see Bono. Well, U2 really. Several times. They were fúcking brilliant.

That was in the 1980s, mind, before he disappeared up his own fundament.

[PSRB]

I paid money to see Bono. Well, U2 really. Several times. They were fúcking brilliant.

That was in the 1980s, mind, before he disappeared up his own fundament.

I saw him later, by which time he was firmly up his own.......they were still excellent.

[Sir C]

I saw him later, by which time he was firmly up his own.......they were still excellent.

You can say what you like about the bloke, but by Christ he can sing a bit.

[Luis Anaconda]

I saw him later, by which time he was firmly up his own.......they were still excellent.

:nod: I saw the Zooropa tour I think - good show. Björk was one of the support acts. Not easy to see her from the middle of Wembley.

Girl I was with fainted though and I had to fight my way through the crowd to get to the edge - quite what he was going to do about it I don't know *


*this works better as an oral gag **



**so to speak

[Peter]

You can say what you like about the bloke, but by Christ he can sing a bit.

He does a decent Because The Night..... at least it sounded ok from the bogs.....

[WES]

I saw him later, by which time he was firmly up his own.......they were still excellent.

:nod: I saw them at Madison Square Gardens in 2005 (or so) and they were outstanding. Quite superb show it was.

[Pat Vegas]

I had free club Wembley tickets to see them.
left early :cloud9:

[Ash]

:nod: I saw them at Madison Square Gardens in 2005 (or so) and they were outstanding. Quite superb show it was.

Pfft. It's all effects.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8dZwXnMrRU

[Harry Balls]

PS Luton on a Friday afternoon :cry:

Flew into Luton from TLV after visiting friends a few years ago. Flight into Luton with EasyJet wasn't too bad once we cleared the never-ending however we were late in and the last flight seemingly. Before us was a plane coming in from Kiev, with what looked like half the plane's passengers with papers in-hand for refugee status due to the problems with Russia at the time. Turned out to be only 3 families of around 6-8 people each. Five hours waiting with a 3-yr old and an 8-yr old and only one passport kiosk manned and the vending machines were out. Car hire place had closed by the time we got out, so had to ask family to drive 2 hrs to get us after midnight. Supposed to get to my family around 7pm, got there 5.30am next morning. That was more than I planned to write, consider it cathartic.

Bottom line, Stansted is great off-season, don't even think about it in July & Aug. Sorry C, we've all been there.