I've woken up this morning with blurred vision in my left eye.

[Sir C]

It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

[IUFG]

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

I wouldn't have thought so, sc.

Probably just a slight case of the bad aids.

[Burney]

It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

What causes sudden blurred vision in one eye?
Blurry vision also may be a symptom of a detached retina, eye herpes or optic neuritis (inflammation of the optic nerve), among other causes. Certain eye conditions and diseases can cause permanent loss of vision, so it's important to visit your eye care practitioner for diagnosis and prompt treatment. Cataracts.

Eye herpes :-(

[Burney]

It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

Seriously, speaking as someone who recently suffered eye problems (injected in the eyeball and didn't even flinch - just saying) don't waste your time going to your GP. They know fūck all about eyes and will simply tell you to see an opthalmologist. So just try and get an emergency appointment at Vision Express in the Nugent as your first point of call.

[Rich]

seriously, speaking as someone who recently suffered eye problems (injected in the eyeball and didn't even flinch - just saying) don't waste your time going to your gp. They know fūck all about eyes and will simply tell you to see an opthalmologist. So just try and get an emergency appointment at vision express in the nugent as your first point of call.

:-|
iahyk

[Sir C]

Seriously, speaking as someone who recently suffered eye problems (injected in the eyeball and didn't even flinch - just saying) don't waste your time going to your GP. They know fūck all about eyes and will simply tell you to see an opthalmologist. So just try and get an emergency appointment at Vision Express in the Nugent as your first point of call.

Hmm, there's a casualty eye clinic at Queen Mary's. I might wander up there.

[Monty92]

I thought masturbating affects vision in both eyes :shrug:


It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

[Burney]

Hmm, there's a casualty eye clinic at Queen Mary's. I might wander up there.

You can, but you'll be waiting an age without a referral.

[Burney]

:-|
iahyk

True, though, innit?

[IUFG]

:-|
iahyk

like the man said...

[WES]

like the man said...

The surgery in the village near me has mostly what I call 'middle aged housewife doctors' in that they are all middle aged women who have almost certainly had children and are now back at work on a part time basis. And they are all pretty much hopeless.

I went in to see one not so long ago with three minor issues. When I described the first one she immediately turned to her computer, went to the NHS website we can all access and read to me what it said and concluded 'just let it be for a while and see if it goes away'. For the second issue she did the same thing. At which point I made my goodbyes and didn't bother raising the third issue.

[Rich]

What causes sudden blurred vision in one eye?
Blurry vision also may be a symptom of a detached retina, eye herpes or optic neuritis (inflammation of the optic nerve), among other causes. Certain eye conditions and diseases can cause permanent loss of vision, so it's important to visit your eye care practitioner for diagnosis and prompt treatment. Cataracts.

Eye herpes :-(

It could also be a tumor pressing on his optic nerve.

[Burney]

The surgery in the village near me has mostly what I call 'middle aged housewife doctors' in that they are all middle aged women who have almost certainly had children and are now back at work on a part time basis. And they are all pretty much hopeless.

I went in to see one not so long ago with three minor issues. When I described the first one she immediately turned to her computer, went to the NHS website we can all access and read to me what it said and concluded 'just let it be for a while and see if it goes away'. For the second issue she did the same thing. At which point I made my goodbyes and didn't bother raising the third issue.

Your unusual reticence on the nature of these issues makes it very clear that they are clearly all genital and/or rectal in nature.

[Burney]

It could also be a tumor pressing on his optic nerve.

Could be. Probably best off popping to the chaps who have the kit and knowledge to find out, I'd say.

[Pat Vegas]

Could be. Probably best off popping to the chaps who have the kit and knowledge to find out, I'd say.

maybe it's sore from the pillow.
or some sort of allergy to pollen.

[Sir C]

It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

Updatre: went to the hospital, found I didn't have enough change for the car park, considered my options, gave up.

[Pat Vegas]

Updatre: went to the hospital, found I didn't have enough change for the car park, considered my options, gave up.

extortionate prices at hospitals :furious:
also Ringo what a tremendous app that works perfectly everytime :furious: :furious:

[Burney]

Updatre: went to the hospital, found I didn't have enough change for the car park, considered my options, gave up.

:mad: What do you think your wife would say about you ignoring a potentially serious health problem? Hmmm?

[Sir C]

:mad: What do you think your wife would say about you ignoring a potentially serious health problem? Hmmm?

I expect she';d turn a blind eye to it. Amirite?

I've made an appointment for an eye test at Vision Express. No doubt they'll trun me round and point me back towards l'hopial.

[Pat Vegas]

I expect she';d turn a blind eye to it. Amirite?

I've made an appointment for an eye test at Vision Express. No doubt they'll trun me round and point me back towards l'hopial.

waste of time going to hospital. i ended up deaf for ages cause of them pricks. bunch of jerks yo

[Sir C]

waste of time going to hospital. i ended up deaf for ages cause of them pricks. bunch of jerks yo

That's Our NHS you're talking about there, old chap. Mr Corbyn's Stormtroopers will string you up.

[Pat Vegas]

That's Our NHS you're talking about there, old chap. Mr Corbyn's Stormtroopers will string you up.

I haven't a good word for them. as they also killed my grandfather.

Not the stormtroopers.

[SWv2]

It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

Probably a TIA - transient ischemic attack.

My old man had one a few years ago and it was simply blurred vision in one eye which was the issue. He was on his iPad at the time so naturally he assumed it was on the blink, so he got into his car and drove two miles out the road to his Ipad man.

:-\

Hospital later that evening.

[WES]

Your unusual reticence on the nature of these issues makes it very clear that they are clearly all genital and/or rectal in nature.

One was a trip finger. She recommended waiting until it went away. 3 years later or so I still have it. The second was to get a referral for a hernia which was subsequently operated on. Can't remember the third.

But it was not rectal or genital related. Despite being as heterosexual as they come, any rectal or genital issues I would insist on a male doctor.

That's not weird, is it?

[Burney]

One was a trip finger. She recommended waiting until it went away. 3 years later or so I still have it. The second was to get a referral for a hernia which was subsequently operated on. Can't remember the third.

But it was not rectal or genital related. Despite being as heterosexual as they come, any rectal or genital issues I would insist on a male doctor.

That's not weird, is it?

It’s a bit weird, yes. Also impractical. When I had my nut cancer, the GU specialist was a lady, so my choices were be treated by a lady or not to get treated. At that stage, I had better things to worry about than a strange lady touching my winkle.

[Sir C]

It's not improving.

I'm having a stroke, aren't I?

An S-shaped abrasion on the cornea.

It should heal itself. Should.

Which ****'s been scratching my eyes while I sleep?

[Burney]

An S-shaped abrasion on the cornea.

It should heal itself. Should.

Which ****'s been scratching my eyes while I sleep?

Bin cat imo

[Burney]

An S-shaped abrasion on the cornea.

It should heal itself. Should.

Which ****'s been scratching my eyes while I sleep?

Glad it’s fùck all btw. Aren’t you glad you didn’t go to the hospital? You’d have felt a right ****.

[Sir C]

Glad it’s fùck all btw. Aren’t you glad you didn’t go to the hospital? You’d have felt a right ****.

He's given me a letter for the hospital in case it isn't better by tomorrow. He was all like, 'If it's not improved tomorrow morning get STRAIGHT to the hsopital.' Quite the drama queen.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Takes one to ...
;-)

[Burney]

He's given me a letter for the hospital in case it isn't better by tomorrow. He was all like, 'If it's not improved tomorrow morning get STRAIGHT to the hsopital.' Quite the drama queen.

Oh, they love it when you rock up with an actual medical issue. It makes them feel like actual doctors rather than the glorified glasses salesmen they actually are.

[Pat Vegas]

He's given me a letter for the hospital in case it isn't better by tomorrow. He was all like, 'If it's not improved tomorrow morning get STRAIGHT to the hsopital.' Quite the drama queen.

Go a long winded way to mock his advice.

[Sir C]

Oh, they love it when you rock up with an actual medical issue. It makes them feel like actual doctors rather than the glorified glasses salesmen they actually are.

This is Vision Express, right? Faceless corporate chain, right? So a couple of months ago I sat on my glasses and walked in there to order a new pair. As a joke I handed the girl the mangled remains and asked if she had a bin. Five minutes later they were returned to me, perfectly fixed and at no charge. Today I wander in and explain my plight, get dealt with like an Ayrab in Harley Street, examinations, eyedrops, bottle of gear to take away, referral letter just in case - and no charge. Gratis and for nothing.

It's fúcking bizarre.

[Ash]

This is Vision Express, right? Faceless corporate chain, right? So a couple of months ago I sat on my glasses and walked in there to order a new pair. As a joke I handed the girl the mangled remains and asked if she had a bin. Five minutes later they were returned to me, perfectly fixed and at no charge. Today I wander in and explain my plight, get dealt with like an Ayrab in Harley Street, examinations, eyedrops, bottle of gear to take away, referral letter just in case - and no charge. Gratis and for nothing.

It's fúcking bizarre.

Perhaps the invoice is in the post.

[Burney]

This is Vision Express, right? Faceless corporate chain, right? So a couple of months ago I sat on my glasses and walked in there to order a new pair. As a joke I handed the girl the mangled remains and asked if she had a bin. Five minutes later they were returned to me, perfectly fixed and at no charge. Today I wander in and explain my plight, get dealt with like an Ayrab in Harley Street, examinations, eyedrops, bottle of gear to take away, referral letter just in case - and no charge. Gratis and for nothing.

It's fúcking bizarre.

Do you have an account with them? I do for my contacts and they treat you like a King as a result. No idea how they treat you if you just walk in off the street.

[Sir C]

Do you have an account with them? I do for my contacts and they treat you like a King as a result. No idea how they treat you if you just walk in off the street.

No, no account. I do get my glasses there, but that hardly makes me no. 1 customer.

Whisper it, but I think they might just do good customer service. :shrug:

[Burney]

No, no account. I do get my glasses there, but that hardly makes me no. 1 customer.

Whisper it, but I think they might just do good customer service. :shrug:

Well, good on them. Long may they continue to charge me hundreds of pounds a year for tiny bits of plastic.

Last time I was there, she told me I had retinal tears that ‘aren’t that unusual in later life’. Cow. :-(

[Pokster]

Well, good on them. Long may they continue to charge me hundreds of pounds a year for tiny bits of plastic.

Last time I was there, she told me I had retinal tears that ‘aren’t that unusual in later life’. Cow. :-(

Goes with your rectum tears then

[Viva Prat Vegas]

It's the onions which cause those tears

[Burney]

It's the onions which cause those tears

vg s. Nicely done.

[Sir C]

Goes with your rectum tears then

Can't agree. Rectum in a noun. How can you have rectum tears? You want the adjective there: rectal tears.

[Rich]

No, no account. I do get my glasses there, but that hardly makes me no. 1 customer.

Whisper it, but I think they might just do good customer service. :shrug:

Thankfully I don't hold any Vision Express stock. This story would encourage me to sell sharpish. Why are the staff wasting time helping people for free when they could be charging for it/selling glasses to someone?!

[Pokster]

Can't agree. Rectum in a noun. How can you have rectum tears? You want the adjective there: rectal tears.

I do not want rectal tears thank you very much

[Burney]

Can't agree. Rectum in a noun. How can you have rectum tears? You want the adjective there: rectal tears.

Rectum tears seems to suggest that my rectum is weeping. Which it isn’t - at least not today.

[Sir C]

I do not want rectal tears thank you very much

Make sure you use plenty of KY then.

[Sir C]

Thankfully I don't hold any Vision Express stock. This story would encourage me to sell sharpish. Why are the staff wasting time helping people for free when they could be charging for it/selling glasses to someone?!

Where were you when I needed a diagnosis of corneal abrasion? Useless ****.

What's the point in having a tame gimp doctor if he does fúck all doctoring?

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Rich came to the conclusion that your symptoms pointed towards Athlete's Foot

[Burney]

Where were you when I needed a diagnosis of corneal abrasion? Useless ****.

What's the point in having a tame gimp doctor if he does fúck all doctoring?

What he knows about eyes you could stick in your eye and never feel it, mate. Although that would be medically inadvisable in your condition.

[Sir C]

Rich came to the conclusion that your symptoms pointed towards Athlete's Foot

pokster seemed to think it was to do with a ripped anus.

Odd bunch.

[Sir C]

What he knows about eyes you could stick in your eye and never feel it, mate. Although that would be medically inadvisable in your condition.

He knew fúck all about my shoulders when they went manky, and not a single thing about my wobbliness when that went, erm, wobbly.

Jesus Christ, I'm falling apart!

[Pokster]

pokster seemed to think it was to do with a ripped anus.

Odd bunch.

Well a ripped anus would bring a tear to your eye

[Burney]

pokster seemed to think it was to do with a ripped anus.

Odd bunch.

Yes, well at least someone gave you sensible advice. Otherwise you’d have gone to your GP, he’d have raped you for several hundred quid and done fùck all.

[Burney]

He knew fúck all about my shoulders when they went manky, and not a single thing about my wobbliness when that went, erm, wobbly.

Jesus Christ, I'm falling apart!

At least your knees have magicked themselves back into life, though, I suppose.

[Sir C]

Yes, well at least someone gave you sensible advice. Otherwise you’d have gone to your GP, he’d have raped you for several hundred quid and done fùck all.

Your wisdom was much appreciated in this matter, b. ty.

I have a Our NHS GP now. There isn't a private one around any more. It's a tragedy. The one time I went to see him I saw a certificate on his wall from the University of Addis Ababa. So I expect he's great with gunshot wounds, anyway.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

So that's

1 shoulder
1 eyeball
1 nostril

Yo wan give 1 of anything else next ?
1 bottle red blood ?

[Burney]

Your wisdom was much appreciated in this matter, b. ty.

I have a Our NHS GP now. There isn't a private one around any more. It's a tragedy. The one time I went to see him I saw a certificate on his wall from the University of Addis Ababa. So I expect he's great with gunshot wounds, anyway.

:nod: He can probably do you a clitorodectomy as easy as kiss your hand.