My starter last night consisted of 'spinach panacotta' and some strips of 'heritage

[Burney]

carrot' (also known as 'carrots'). It looked horrific and tasted of absolutely nothing.

Quite why normal people had to have this vegetarian filth foisted on them masquerading as food I've no idea.

[Pat Vegas]

carrot' (also known as 'carrots'). It looked horrific and tasted of absolutely nothing.

Quite why normal people had to have this vegetarian filth foisted on them masquerading as food I've no idea.

I find watching the blokes who organise the food to the tables more entertaining.
twirling around pointing at tables.

[Burney]

I find watching the blokes who organise the food to the tables more entertaining.
twirling around pointing at tables.

The head man last night had a glowstick. That was new.

[SWv2]

carrot' (also known as 'carrots'). It looked horrific and tasted of absolutely nothing.

Quite why normal people had to have this vegetarian filth foisted on them masquerading as food I've no idea.

Spinach panacotta eh.

I would not be having that. Simple wave of the hand and beckon the waiter to you - "get this shít off my plate son and bring me some proper food".

A basic "thank you" and he is on your side.

[Burney]

Spinach panacotta eh.

I would not be having that. Simple wave of the hand and beckon the waiter to you - "get this shít off my plate son and bring me some proper food".

A basic "thank you" and he is on your side.

It was bright green, sw. :-( I've coughed up more appetising things.

[SWv2]

It was bright green, sw. :-( I've coughed up more appetising things.

It's a fúcking food crime B. That is what it is.

Is panna cotta not first and foremost sweet, and a dessert (pudding if you are a ****).

[Burney]

It's a fúcking food crime B. That is what it is.

Is panna cotta not first and foremost sweet, and a dessert (pudding if you are a ****).

It should be, yes. It's also milk-based, which makes the idea of combining it with spinach even more repellent.

[SWv2]

It should be, yes. It's also milk-based, which makes the idea of combining it with spinach even more repellent.

I would be tempted to call the Met.

[Sir C]

carrot' (also known as 'carrots'). It looked horrific and tasted of absolutely nothing.

Quite why normal people had to have this vegetarian filth foisted on them masquerading as food I've no idea.

And the main course? Fillet of beef or chicken breast, I presume?

[Burney]

And the main course? Fillet of beef or chicken breast, I presume?

Chicken breast with the inevitable, semi-edible fondant potato and equally inevitable brown smear of sauce.

I'm sure someone somewhere must have had a nice fondant potato at some point in history. Otherwise, why would they keep producing them? However, I've never come across one.

[7sisters]

Spinach panacotta eh.

I would not be having that. Simple wave of the hand and beckon the waiter to you - "get this shít off my plate son and bring me some proper food".

A basic "thank you" and he is on your side.

A basic thank you and he'll think you're a c*nt and no doubt take the opportunity to dip his rancid bell end in whatever he brings forth, thereafter.
The way to get a waiter at a function on your side is to grease his palm with a score and you'll be topped up and offered, off menu stuff at the slightest nod.

[SWv2]

A basic thank you and he'll think you're a c*nt and no doubt take the opportunity to dip his rancid bell end in whatever he brings forth, thereafter.
The way to get a waiter at a function on your side is to grease his palm with a score and you'll be topped up and offered, off menu stuff at the slightest nod.

If I wanted to spend a score of my own money at such a function I would leave and enjoy 3 pints and a kebab.

[Burney]

A basic thank you and he'll think you're a c*nt and no doubt take the opportunity to dip his rancid bell end in whatever he brings forth, thereafter.
The way to get a waiter at a function on your side is to grease his palm with a score and you'll be topped up and offered, off menu stuff at the slightest nod.

The salty tang offered by his rancid bellend would have only have improved the flavour of the spinach panacotta, tbh.

[WES]

carrot' (also known as 'carrots'). It looked horrific and tasted of absolutely nothing.

Quite why normal people had to have this vegetarian filth foisted on them masquerading as food I've no idea.

Just bad cooking, Burney, veggie or otherwise.

I have only just returned from a one day cooking course for my birthday at Manoir where I made a most wonderful vegetable soup and a simple ratatouille, both veggie, both wonderful.

I could easily go veggie if the food was properly prepared as in India, at Manoir etc etc

[SWv2]

Just bad cooking, Burney, veggie or otherwise.

I have only just returned from a one day cooking course for my birthday at Manoir where I made a most wonderful vegetable soup and a simple ratatouille, both veggie, both wonderful.

I could easily go veggie if the food was properly prepared as in India, at Manoir etc etc

You went on a cookery course and made vegetable soup?

Now, far be it from me to criticise culinary achievements, but WHAT THE GENERAL FÚCK!!

[IUFG]

You went on a cookery course and made vegetable soup?

Now, far be it from me to criticise culinary achievements, but WHAT THE GENERAL FÚCK!!

And, it sounds very much like a vegetarian cookery course.

[Sir C]

You went on a cookery course and made vegetable soup?

Now, far be it from me to criticise culinary achievements, but WHAT THE GENERAL FÚCK!!

Given that it was at Le Manoir, which I assume is what he means, one wonders whether the vegetable soup was prepared according to M. Blanc's recipe, which I have seen him deomsntrate. The ingredients are, whatever vegetables are ready in your garden. The method is, put them in some water and boil them for 15 minutes.

Not one of Raymond's finest, I can tell you.

[WES]

You went on a cookery course and made vegetable soup?

Now, far be it from me to criticise culinary achievements, but WHAT THE GENERAL FÚCK!!

Not just any vegetable soup, SW, a pistou vegetable soup. It was quite lovely.

I also made fraisier, pan fried sea bream with ratatouille and observed several other dishes and techniques which will prove invaluable as I move slowly into retirement and am able to produce Michelin star quality food on a daily basis.

All while consuming enormous quantities of fine wine until I die of liver cancer. :cloud9:

[Burney]

Given that it was at Le Manoir, which I assume is what he means, one wonders whether the vegetable soup was prepared according to M. Blanc's recipe, which I have seen him deomsntrate. The ingredients are, whatever vegetables are ready in your garden. The method is, put them in some water and boil them for 15 minutes.

Not one of Raymond's finest, I can tell you.

His mum’s loon of pork stuffed with Armagnac-soaked prunes is one of my favourite recipes.

And yes, yes, I know. Meat with fruit, blah, blah. But you’re wrong.

[Sir C]

His mum’s loon of pork stuffed with Armagnac-soaked prunes is one of my favourite recipes.

And yes, yes, I know. Meat with fruit, blah, blah. But you’re wrong.

Sorry, I'm busy stuffing your mum's loin of pork with my armagnac-soaked prunes right now.

[Burney]

Sorry, I'm busy stuffing your mum's loin of pork with my armagnac-soaked prunes right now.

Do you soak them in Armagnac now? You have got fancy. It used to be surgical spirit.

[Monty92]

Not just any vegetable soup, SW, a pistou vegetable soup. It was quite lovely.

I also made fraisier, pan fried sea bream with ratatouille and observed several other dishes and techniques which will prove invaluable as I move slowly into retirement and am able to produce Michelin star quality food on a daily basis.

All while consuming enormous quantities of fine wine until I die of liver cancer. :cloud9:

My missus treated herself to Manoir's week-long course about four years ago.

I mean, she's a decent cook n'all, but she's served me **** all since that's suggested it was worth the money :shrug:

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

His mum’s loon of pork stuffed with Armagnac-soaked prunes is one of my favourite recipes.

And yes, yes, I know. Meat with fruit, blah, blah. But you’re wrong.

If meat with fruit is meant to be wrong, what the fûck do you have as a sauce to go with a magret de canard down in Toulouse*?

I've had dozens and they all had fruit. Fact. And all were lush. Even the ones with fruits I hate like figs and prunes and shît.

{*Other SW towns available on request. eg Gaillac. Best value wine in France, imo.}

[Luis Anaconda]

If meat with fruit is meant to be wrong, what the fûck do you have as a sauce to go with a magret de canard down in Toulouse*?

I've had dozens and they all had fruit. Fact. And all were lush. Even the ones with fruits I hate like figs and prunes and shît.

{*Other SW towns available on request. eg Gaillac. Best value wine in France, imo.}
It's definitely wrong but that doesn't mean it doesn't taste nice. Pineapple on pizza is wrong and **** though

[Burney]

If meat with fruit is meant to be wrong, what the fûck do you have as a sauce to go with a magret de canard down in Toulouse*?

I've had dozens and they all had fruit. Fact. And all were lush. Even the ones with fruits I hate like figs and prunes and shît.

{*Other SW towns available on request. eg Gaillac. Best value wine in France, imo.}

It’s just a thing of Sir C’s. He abominates all fruit/meat combos.

The first time I had a big old Magret de canard in Languedoc I was a kid and it came smothered in a cream and truffle sauce. Lovely, but wholly inappropriate in 35 degree heat.

[Burney]

It's definitely wrong but that doesn't mean it doesn't taste nice. Pineapple on pizza is wrong and **** though

Wrong? Roast pork and apple sauce? Duck with cherries? Mackerel with gooseberries?

You’re the one who’s ‘wrong’, mate.

[7sisters]

Let’s not forget a lovely lamb tagine with dried apricots or dates and pomegranate seeds scattered on top

[WES]

My missus treated herself to Manoir's week-long course about four years ago.

I mean, she's a decent cook n'all, but she's served me **** all since that's suggested it was worth the money :shrug:

She's got a baby to take care of, Monty. Plus two young children. :shrug:

I've done the first two stages, each 4 days, but even stage 1 should leave you able to knock up some seriously good food. Perhaps she just doesn't think you're worth the effort.

And when I took it it was much less expensive. Think they charge an insane amount nowadays, close to 5K or summat, I think.

[Burney]

Let’s not forget a lovely lamb tagine with dried apricots or dates and pomegranate seeds scattered on top

Or the preserved lemons, for all love!? What of them?

[WES]

Wrong? Roast pork and apple sauce? Duck with cherries? Mackerel with gooseberries?

You’re the one who’s ‘wrong’, mate.

Not too sure how you eat game properly without some fruit element. Still, what can you expect from a Dutcher and a German. :shrug:

[Monty92]

She's got a baby to take care of, Monty. Plus two young children. :shrug:

I've done the first two stages, each 4 days, but even stage 1 should leave you able to knock up some seriously good food. Perhaps she just doesn't think you're worth the effort.

And when I took it it was much less expensive. Think they charge an insane amount nowadays, close to 5K or summat, I think.

I think she paid £3.5k or sommat.

She learned some nifty tricks with pastry, but that's gonna get no-one's cock hard, is it.

Speaking of which, I proposed on her first night at the school then ****ed off home on my own because I wouldn't leave the cat overnight :clap:

:-|

[SWv2]

I think she paid £3.5k or sommat.

She learned some nifty tricks with pastry, but that's gonna get no-one's cock hard, is it.

Speaking of which, I proposed on her first night at the school then ****ed off home on my own because I wouldn't leave the cat overnight :clap:

:-|

I can confirm your Mrs knows some nifty tricks.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

The salty tang offered by his rancid bellend would have only have improved the flavour of the spinach panacotta, tbh.

.. . . . . .. . .. .

[Burney]

.. . . . . .. . .. .

Well of course it would, h. Human secretions are salty. Have you never noticed?

[Sir C]

Or the preserved lemons, for all love!? What of them?

Preserved lemons aren't fruit.

[Burney]

Preserved lemons aren't fruit.


I am raising a quizzical eyebrow.

You hadn't anticipated the massive, lemon-shaped hole in your argument, had you?

[Sir C]

I am raising a quizzical eyebrow.

You hadn't anticipated the massive, lemon-shaped hole in your argument, had you?

Fruit is what lives in a bowl, past which one might walk, plucking an example of such a fruit upon which to munch contemplatively whilst looking out of the window at the chaffinches and goldfinches at the bird feeding station.

Preserved lemons are what happens when you over-order lemons. They're good, and everything. Salty and sour. But they're not fruit.

[Burney]

Fruit is what lives in a bowl, past which one might walk, plucking an example of such a fruit upon which to munch contemplatively whilst looking out of the window at the chaffinches and goldfinches at the bird feeding station.

Preserved lemons are what happens when you over-order lemons. They're good, and everything. Salty and sour. But they're not fruit.

And what, then of lemon juice? WHAT OF YOUR LEMON, SALT AND PEPPER CHICKEN WINGS!?!?!?!?

[Sir C]

And what, then of lemon juice? WHAT OF YOUR LEMON, SALT AND PEPPER CHICKEN WINGS!?!?!?!?

Lemons, see? Not really fruit.

[Burney]

Lemons, see? Not really fruit.

Definitely a fruit. Citrus fruit, in fact.

Also, what’s that sole recipe with the grapes?

[Sir C]

Definitely a fruit. Citrus fruit, in fact.

Also, what’s that sole recipe with the grapes?

It’s rank, that’s what it is.

[Burney]

It’s rank, that’s what it is.

Actually, that one is a bit rank. I’ll give you that.

[WES]

Actually, that one is a bit rank. I’ll give you that.

Fish and fruit is less obvious than meat and fruit imo.

[Burney]

Fish and fruit is less obvious than meat and fruit imo.

True. Mackerel and gooseberry does work, though. Also, rhubarb. The acid tartness complements the oily fish.

[WES]

True. Mackerel and gooseberry does work, though. Also, rhubarb. The acid tartness complements the oily fish.

Yes, citrus fruits and fish can work. Meat you want something sweeter, especially game. Pain in the arse to get right, game, but when you do it is quite superb.

[SWv2]

Fruit is what lives in a bowl, past which one might walk, plucking an example of such a fruit upon which to munch contemplatively whilst looking out of the window at the chaffinches and goldfinches at the bird feeding station.

Preserved lemons are what happens when you over-order lemons. They're good, and everything. Salty and sour. But they're not fruit.

“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.”

Famous quote.

[Burney]

Yes, citrus fruits and fish can work. Meat you want something sweeter, especially game. Pain in the arse to get right, game, but when you do it is quite superb.

I remember having a very nice reindeer in Finland with Lingonberry sauce. I was very drunk at the time, though.

[WES]

I remember having a very nice reindeer in Finland with Lingonberry sauce. I was very drunk at the time, though.

Venison with blackberries brings back a very good memory, think it was Manoir. Might have had pigeon with fig at some point as well.

And then of course duck has no point without some form of fruit element. Pheasant I actually make without fruit however the jus is heavily port and madeira based so it has a fruit like sweetness to it.

I'm hungry. :-(

[Ash]

True. Mackerel and gooseberry does work, though. Also, rhubarb. The acid tartness complements the oily fish.

Rhubarb isn't a fruit.

It's a mammal.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Gary Lineker is a fruit

He's a plum