Hang about, where's reg?

[Sir C]

Every time he goes missing wars and pestilence break out. :-(

[Burney]

Every time he goes missing wars and pestilence break out. :-(

Are you saying reg is one of the Four Horsemen?

[Sir C]

Are you saying reg is one of the Four Horsemen?

If fomenting civil war or achieving regime change is your jam, reg is your man. FACT.

[Burney]

If fomenting civil war or achieving regime change is your jam, reg is your man. FACT.

Talking of jam, I've got gooseberries, blackcurrants, strawberries and raspberries coming in this year on the allotment. :cloud9:

[Sir C]

Talking of jam, I've got gooseberries, blackcurrants, strawberries and raspberries coming in this year on the allotment. :cloud9:

You're going to make jam? Like... Jeremy? :-(

[Burney]

You're going to make jam? Like... Jeremy? :-(

Possibly. But mine will be much better than his filthy, insipid and ungenerous socialist jam. Mine shall have big lumps of fruit, the fruit will be properly cleaned and I will sell mine like a good capitalist rather than giving it away like a fvcking dirty commie.

[Sir C]

Possibly. But mine will be much better than his filthy, insipid and ungenerous socialist jam. Mine shall have big lumps of fruit, the fruit will be properly cleaned and I will sell mine like a good capitalist rather than giving it away like a fvcking dirty commie.

Will there be sugar? I can't believe thon filthy commie uses sugar. Isn't sugar rationed now?

[Burney]

Will there be sugar? I can't believe thon filthy commie uses sugar. Isn't sugar rationed now?

It would be hard to see how jam would be possible without sugar, tbh. But if there is a way of making something joyless, I'm sure he'd find it.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Talking of jam, I've got gooseberries, blackcurrants, strawberries and raspberries coming in this year on the allotment. :cloud9:

An allotment! isn't one always running into ghastly working class types who are only there so they can feverishly masturbate in their little sheds? Do you give the old one eyed beast a good slapping in your little shed b?

[Burney]

An allotment! isn't one always running into ghastly working class types who are only there so they can feverishly masturbate in their little sheds? Do you give the old one eyed beast a good slapping in your little shed b?

I don't have a shed on my allotment, h. I have a strongbox. I have never masturbated in it.

I do have a shed in my garden, though. When Sir C visited, he mocked it because it had curtains in the window (left there by the previous owner). He therefore concluded that these could only be there for sinister purposes and christened it 'The W@nking Shed' :-(

[Sir C]

I don't have a shed on my allotment, h. I have a strongbox. I have never masturbated in it.

I do have a shed in my garden, though. When Sir C visited, he mocked it because it had curtains in the window (left there by the previous owner). He therefore concluded that these could only be there for sinister purposes and christened it 'The W@nking Shed' :-(

:nod: It is quite clearly a wánking shed. The crusty layer of jizz underfoot gave it away.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

:nod: It is quite clearly a wánking shed. The crusty layer of jizz underfoot gave it away.

And the large hand painted sign on the door "Berni's wánking Shed."

[Burney]

:nod: It is quite clearly a wánking shed. The crusty layer of jizz underfoot gave it away.

The name has stuck. It is now called The W@nking Shed.

For the record, I have never masturbated therein.

[Ash]

Every time he goes missing wars and pestilence break out. :-(

Miami, I expect.

He always seems to be in "Miami" when there's something like a war against Iran to prepare for. He's really looking forward to it, I think. He'll make enough to keep the wife in Range Rovers for life.