Recruiting for a job and I'm struck by the ineptitude of graduate CVs.

[Burney]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(

[Pat Vegas]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(

:hehe: can he rise to the Caucasion?

[Luis Anaconda]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(

We've already established that Nones get everywhere

[Tony C]

Lol...I was required to do a course on Emotional Intelligence at work :shrug:

The only thing I learnt was that I work with a bunch of weak minded sensitive types.

During the course they showed movie clips as examples...one of them was that baseball won where Tom hanks is screaming at the girl and then speaker paused it and said - who would like to explain what was wrong here :clap:

I sat there thinking - I’m glad I’m getting paid for this.

...

[Burney]

Lol...I was required to do a course on Emotional Intelligence at work :shrug:

The only thing I learnt was that I work with a bunch of weak minded sensitive types.

During the course they showed movie clips as examples...one of them was that baseball won where Tom hanks is screaming at the girl and then speaker paused it and said - who would like to explain what was wrong here :clap:

I sat there thinking - I’m glad I’m getting paid for this.

...

What I strongly suspect, t, is that people claiming to have 'emotional intelligence' are attempting to cover for the fact that they lack actual intelligence. It's like when people say fat birds have a 'great personality'.

[redgunamo]

:hehe: can he rise to the Caucasion?

Climie :fishing: ?

[Burney]

Climie :fishing: ?

Oh, r. You're just the most 80s man in the world, aren't you? :hehe:

[Peter]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(

Wait until you ask them to add something up, b. We have students here who arrive with an A in A Level Maths. THey then proceed to struggle with even the most basic calculations and have to take a remedial maths class in their first year.

I once greeted 50 graduates at an overseas graduation ceremony. Not one of them could speak english.

Education isnt what is used to be (nothing is) .....

[redgunamo]

Oh, r. You're just the most 80s man in the world, aren't you? :hehe:

I certainly think I'd like to be :hehe:

[Burney]

Wait until you ask them to add something up, b. We have students here who arrive with an A in A Level Maths. THey then proceed to struggle with even the most basic calculations and have to take a remedial maths class in their first year.

I once greeted 50 graduates at an overseas graduation ceremony. Not one of them could speak english.

Education isnt what is used to be (nothing is) .....

It does sometimes feel like the backlash against rote learning has simply resulted in them not learning anything.

I had to correct a junior yesterday (English graduate) because she said 'You and I' when she should have said 'You and me' and said 'amount' when she should have said 'number' in the space of a minute.

She seemed outraged by the 'You and I' thing. She said 'I was always taught it was right to say 'You and I'!' :banghead:

[Peter]

It does sometimes feel like the backlash against rote learning has simply resulted in them not learning anything.

I had to correct a junior yesterday (English graduate) because she said 'You and I' when she should have said 'You and me' and said 'amount' when she should have said 'number' in the space of a minute.

She seemed outraged by the 'You and I' thing. She said 'I was always taught it was right to say 'You and I'!' :banghead:

It stems from failing to teach grammar at school. And maths.

I went to an outstanding school and we were never tasught much about grammar, punctuation etc. My mum taught me all that.

The you and I thing isnt difficult to grasp. You just use the one you would use if the other person wasn't there. Ie He gave it to me/he gave it to Dave and me.

I spend much of my day correcting reports written by my team. Some of them are appalling.

[Burney]

It stems from failing to teach grammar at school. And maths.

I went to an outstanding school and we were never tasught much about grammar, punctuation etc. My mum taught me all that.

The you and I thing isnt difficult to grasp. You just use the one you would use if the other person wasn't there. Ie He gave it to me/he gave it to Dave and me.

I spend much of my day correcting reports written by my team. Some of them are appalling.

I know. I had to explain the passive voice to someone the other day. I ended up explaining it as I would to a child by saying that, if they appended the phrase 'by monkeys' to the end of the sentence and it still made sense, it was the passive voice and if they added it and it didn't make sense, it was in the active voice. There was no point talking about subjects and objects because they just don't understand the terms and switch off when you use them.

They now all think I'm some sort of pedantic old grammar Nazi of course (and they may not be entirely wrong) but, as I pointed out to one the other day, they work with the written word and it is actually my job to make sure they know how to use it correctly.

[Tony C]

The funniest bit was during the course we had to like write down anonymously where people are deemed not to be emotionally intelligent so we can discuss it further and help each other.

Some a hole wrote -

Tony would be working and then go for a smoke without inviting anyone and then when he’s outside he smokes by himself with his headphones on. He also goes for lunch and doesn’t invite anyone else.

-

Wtf :shrug: how can someone get upset by this. I take care of business and then prefer to relax on my own rather than listen to someone else’s boring life. Also I’m not going to advertise that I’m popping into Ladbrokes for lunch am I ffs

[Billy Goat Sverige]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(

“Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office” :hehe: They all write that and most probably wouldn’t know how to format a cell in Excel.

[PSRB]

I know. I had to explain the passive voice to someone the other day. I ended up explaining it as I would to a child by saying that, if they appended the phrase 'by monkeys' to the end of the sentence and it still made sense, it was the passive voice and if they added it and it didn't make sense, it was in the active voice. There was no point talking about subjects and objects because they just don't understand the terms and switch off when you use them.

They now all think I'm some sort of pedantic old grammar Nazi of course (and they may not be entirely wrong) but, as I pointed out to one the other day, they work with the written word and it is actually my job to make sure they know how to use it correctly.

I saw that '....by monkeys' thing on Twitter this morning, very handy.

[Burney]

The funniest bit was during the course we had to like write down anonymously where people are deemed not to be emotionally intelligent so we can discuss it further and help each other.

Some a hole wrote -

Tony would be working and then go for a smoke without inviting anyone and then when he’s outside he smokes by himself with his headphones on. He also goes for lunch and doesn’t invite anyone else.

-

Wtf :shrug: how can someone get upset by this. I take care of business and then prefer to relax on my own rather than listen to someone else’s boring life. Also I’m not going to advertise that I’m popping into Ladbrokes for lunch am I ffs

Some people seem to think that it is their right to have you like them, t.

[Burney]

I saw that '....by monkeys' thing on Twitter this morning, very handy.

I was taught it 30-something years ago. It certainly works - much like the method p describes for remembering the 'You and I/You and me thing. :-\ :old:

The thing that people who just think I'm a grammar nazi don't get is that, once you learn these things, it actually hurts your soul when you hear them misused. If I hear someone say amount when they mean number, describe a company as a plural or say less when they mean fewer, it's like nails down a blackboard for me.

[PSRB]

I was taught it 30-something years ago. It certainly works - much like the method p describes for remembering the 'You and I/You and me thing. :-\ :old:

The thing that people who just think I'm a grammar nazi don't get is that, once you learn these things, it actually hurts your soul when you hear them misused. If I hear someone say amount when they mean number, describe a company as a plural or say less when they mean fewer, it's like nails down a blackboard for me.

Tesco and Tescos, does my head in.
Look at the bloody sign, does it say 'Tescos'....no, it bloody doesn't!!

[Burney]

Tesco and Tescos, does my head in.
Look at the bloody sign, does it say 'Tescos'....no, it bloody doesn't!!

I would put people who say 'mischiev-ee-ous' rather than 'mischievous' in camps until they learn to stop doing it.

I mean there is literally no justification for adding the extra syllable. Why do they do this?

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(


Ah the yoot of today. I bet this is how our parent's generation spoke about us when we were all fresh out of college applying for jobs? I can't imagine anyone of the Generation Xers putting "emotional intelligence" into a CV though?

Of course, they did it down the pub, not online.

[Burney]

Ah the yoot of today. I bet this is how our parent's generation spoke about us when we were all fresh out of college applying for jobs? I can't imagine anyone of the Generation Xers putting "emotional intelligence" into a CV though?

Of course, they did it down the pub, not online.

I do try and check myself on that basis, but I do genuinely think things are infinitely worse now.

The lack of awareness to include things like 'Cosplay' in a job application and just assume the person reading it will a/ know what that is and b/ be fine with it and not just dismiss you as a sad weirdo is stunning. Do they really not know how the world works?

[Peter]

I know. I had to explain the passive voice to someone the other day. I ended up explaining it as I would to a child by saying that, if they appended the phrase 'by monkeys' to the end of the sentence and it still made sense, it was the passive voice and if they added it and it didn't make sense, it was in the active voice. There was no point talking about subjects and objects because they just don't understand the terms and switch off when you use them.

They now all think I'm some sort of pedantic old grammar Nazi of course (and they may not be entirely wrong) but, as I pointed out to one the other day, they work with the written word and it is actually my job to make sure they know how to use it correctly.

Indeed. Of course in some circumstances incorrect grammar and punctuation drastically changes the meaning of the sentence- the Jameson Raid being perhaps the most famous example.

It is quite funny how pedantry has become synonymous with Nazism. Were the Nazis particularly pedantic?

[Peter]

I would put people who say 'mischiev-ee-ous' rather than 'mischievous' in camps until they learn to stop doing it.

I mean there is literally no justification for adding the extra syllable. Why do they do this?

Project (pronounced as oh) does my head in. There is a guy at work who says it all the time.

[Peter]

I do try and check myself on that basis, but I do genuinely think things are infinitely worse now.

The lack of awareness to include things like 'Cosplay' in a job application and just assume the person reading it will a/ know what that is and b/ be fine with it and not just dismiss you as a sad weirdo is stunning. Do they really not know how the world works?

We are all getting too old to adjust to this sort of bull****. That said, it isnt unreasonable to expect a graduate to have a basic grasp of the english language and to be reasonably numerate. Unless they have studied business, obviously.

[Burney]

Indeed. Of course in some circumstances incorrect grammar and punctuation drastically changes the meaning of the sentence- the Jameson Raid being perhaps the most famous example.

It is quite funny how pedantry has become synonymous with Nazism. Were the Nazis particularly pedantic?

Actually telling children and young people they are wrong and that this is a matter of fact, not opinion is now synonymous with right-wing authoritarianism. It goes against all the principles (ha!) of post-modernist relativism.

This is why teachers fight shy of it. Also because most of them are ignorant cvnts themselves.

[barrybueno]

Oh, r. You're just the most 80s man in the world, aren't you? :hehe:

:clap: The lad reds has totally out 80'd me there B

[PSRB]

Project (pronounced as oh) does my head in. There is a guy at work who says it all the time.

Is it Shed-ule or Sked-ule? I think the former.

[Burney]

Is it Shed-ule or Sked-ule? I think the former.

Always the former unless you’re a foul American.

[PSRB]

Always the former unless you’re a foul American.

and lets not even start on 'Herbal'

[Burney]

and lets not even start on 'Herbal'

It is very strange, that. Most US spellings were changed by Noah Webster in order to remove the French influence, but when it comes to food, Americans insist on French pronunciations like ‘’erbs’ and ‘fil-ay’ for fillet even when they’re plainly wrong.

[IUFG]

One girl lists under Key Skills 'Journalist for Fandom Wikia' (????), as well as 'Emotional intelligence' and
'Passionate Cosplayer and Pop Culture enthusiast' (????????).

Meanwhile, straight after claiming she has 'Keen attention to detail', she says she has 'Exceptional skills in Microsoft Office and Abode Systems' :shakehead:

This girl has an MA and has spent five years in higher education.

Another genius felt the need to tell me his 'Ethnic background' was 'Caucasion' and list his 'Religion' as 'None'.
Yet another applied for a job in journalism and gave as the first line in his application 'I am looking for a job to further a career in computing/software development'.

I despair. :-(

The standard of job applicants has gone down in the last few years.

The good people are kept by their current companies and the rest just churn and then die and are generally replaced by fúckwits.

One of our graduates left after two months because, and I directly quote, "Work is getting in the way of my other commitments"

Which as far as I could work out were, something called, boxercise and going to lefty demos in London.

[Burney]

The standard of job applicants has gone down in the last few years.

The good people are kept by their current companies and the rest just churn and then die and are generally replaced by fúckwits.

One of our graduates left after two months because, and I directly quote, "Work is getting in the way of my other commitments"

Which as far as I could work out were, something called, boxercise and going to lefty demos in London.

This is the problem with having record low levels of unemployment, I guess. They know they can go and get another entry-level job paying flumpence easily, so they don't value the one they have. The idea of building a career seems lost on some of them

I keep being shocked by how old some of the junior people who work for us are. I keep thinking they're 21, only to discover they're in their late 20s/early 30s. I keep thinking that at their age, I had a kid and had already been an editor for several years - BECAUSE I BLOODY WELL HAD TO.

[IUFG]

The idea of building a career seems lost on some of them

:nod: graduates who want £30k for their first fúcking job.

[Peter]

Is it Shed-ule or Sked-ule? I think the former.

Definitely shed. Sked sounds revolting.

[redgunamo]

BECAUSE I BLOODY WELL HAD TO.

No, you didn't have to; you chose to, probably because on balance you found it preferable to raising your children.

Still do, I'm guessing. The full employment-thing is often a red herring.

[redgunamo]

The standard of job applicants has gone down in the last few years.

The good people are kept by their current companies and the rest just churn and then die and are generally replaced by fúckwits.

One of our graduates left after two months because, and I directly quote, "Work is getting in the way of my other commitments"

Which as far as I could work out were, something called, boxercise and going to lefty demos in London.

To be honest, you have to admire that. Surely nobody really wants to spend their useful life pushing pencils in a white-collar cubicle, do they.

[Burney]

To be honest, you have to admire that. Surely nobody really wants to spend their useful life pushing pencils in a white-collar cubicle, do they.

What a charmingly old-fashioned view of the modern workplace you have, r.

Pencils, indeed! And my collar today is salmon pink, I'll have you know.

[IUFG]

To be honest, you have to admire that. Surely nobody really wants to spend their useful life pushing pencils in a white-collar cubicle, do they.

Well, maybe. If everyone did that . . .

But why go through a fairly arduous recruitment process for a role where you could build a career, a career of your choosing, and then realise after 8 weeks that you'd rather be getting your head stoved in by the Met on a Thursday afternoon in Whitehall?

[redgunamo]

Well, maybe. If everyone did that . . .

But why go through a fairly arduous recruitment process for a role where you could build a career, a career of your choosing, and then realise after 8 weeks that you'd rather be getting your head stoved in by the Met on a Thursday afternoon in Whitehall?

Just because, for many, it is the done thing. People at least have to pretend that's what they want, even if it clearly isn't.

[Ash]

To be honest, you have to admire that. Surely nobody really wants to spend their useful life pushing pencils in a white-collar cubicle, do they.

I have an Arsenal pencil from a secret santa the other year, so it's ok.

[redgunamo]

I have an Arsenal pencil from a secret santa the other year, so it's ok.

It all fits really. These are the children of the Divorced Parents and Abandoned Families generation. As B points out, the whole point of having a career used to be to feed your wife and bairns. But what happens when your own parents always made it clear that families were really an optional, even undesirable, extra. So, if there's no intention to raise a family, there's no need to take preparation for a career, or even a career itself, seriously, either, is there.

Unless there is? Rather than a means to an end, work becomes an end in itself; Arsene Wenger, for instance. Or it becomes a mere frivolous, incidental, inconsequential, almost optional activity; like IUFG's post-grad applicants, seeking only to earn enough money as is necessary, as quickly as possible, to finance their next trip around the world, or their fledgling rock band or whatever.

We've actually managed to go full circle here. And in both directions simultaneously; a successful career means no time or energy to raise a family. And, indeed, the initial disinclination to raise a family, in fact, frees up enough time and energy to have a successful career. But, perhaps ironically, fewer people nowadays will really desire either outcome :-\

[World's End Stella]

Wait until you ask them to add something up, b. We have students here who arrive with an A in A Level Maths. THey then proceed to struggle with even the most basic calculations and have to take a remedial maths class in their first year.

I once greeted 50 graduates at an overseas graduation ceremony. Not one of them could speak english.

Education isnt what is used to be (nothing is) .....

I struggle to believe the maths bit. An A level in maths involves enough calculus that anyone with an A would not struggle with simple calculations.

I call bullsh1t. :judge:

[redgunamo]

I was taught it 30-something years ago. It certainly works - much like the method p describes for remembering the 'You and I/You and me thing. :-\ :old:

The thing that people who just think I'm a grammar nazi don't get is that, once you learn these things, it actually hurts your soul when you hear them misused. If I hear someone say amount when they mean number, describe a company as a plural or say less when they mean fewer, it's like nails down a blackboard for me.

Yes. But it must be said that all this is a bit rich coming from a bunch of Cockneys.