Talking of supermarkets, what fresh cvntery is this?

[Burney]

I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse. :furious:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/19/waitrose-install-health-food-police-help-customers-stay-away/?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Dale Winton would have liked your retribution
:-(

[PSRB]

I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse. :furious:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/19/waitrose-install-health-food-police-help-customers-stay-away/?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter

:nod: Waitrose can fvck off

[Sir C]

I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse. :furious:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/19/waitrose-install-health-food-police-help-customers-stay-away/?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter

There is much, much worse news than this. There are plans, it is alleged, to ban God's honest cotton bud!

I shall be reduced to poking around in my lugs with a paperclip or biro. Haha, which reminds me of a colleagure, many years ago, who made the error of picking up a pen from my desk and thoughtfully chewing the end, only to throw it down in disgust with a cry of, "This fúcking thing is covered in your ear bogies!" :hehe: :cloud9:

[Burney]

There is much, much worse news than this. There are plans, it is alleged, to ban God's honest cotton bud!

I shall be reduced to poking around in my lugs with a paperclip or biro. Haha, which reminds me of a colleagure, many years ago, who made the error of picking up a pen from my desk and thoughtfully chewing the end, only to throw it down in disgust with a cry of, "This fúcking thing is covered in your ear bogies!" :hehe: :cloud9:

I'm amazed you can tolerate the cotton wool element, tbh. A paperclip is my weapon of choice. It could have been specifically designed for the purpose.

[Peter]

I can assure you that any glorified shelf-stacker who dared approach me and question my purchases would get the roughest edge of my tongue and be lucky to escape without my boot wedged up the high hole of their arse. :furious:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/19/waitrose-install-health-food-police-help-customers-stay-away/?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter


"Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.

[Sir C]

I'm amazed you can tolerate the cotton wool element, tbh. A paperclip is my weapon of choice. It could have been specifically designed for the purpose.

You make a good point; the buds must be of the highest quality so that the end is wrapped tightly and doesn't feel like cotton wool. In reality, it's Johnson & Johnson or nothing.

Paperclips are good, but I once poked a little too far and thought for a moment that I had punctured my eardrum. This caused me to ease off pushing metal implements into my head.

[Sir C]

"Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.

"Excuse me, I'm a fat **** and can't decide whether this broccolli or this lard would make for the healthier dinner, plus my children are malnourished which is the fault of evil Tories."

That's the sort of thing I'm imagining.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

For the best results presumably Sir moistens the end before inserting

[Pat Vegas]

"Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.

tremendous. When they recommend something 'healthy' that makes me sick i will sue their arses.

[Sir C]

For the best results presumably Sir moistens the end before inserting

You dirty, dirty man s.

You have PM.

[Rich]

There is much, much worse news than this. There are plans, it is alleged, to ban God's honest cotton bud!

I shall be reduced to poking around in my lugs with a paperclip or biro. Haha, which reminds me of a colleagure, many years ago, who made the error of picking up a pen from my desk and thoughtfully chewing the end, only to throw it down in disgust with a cry of, "This fúcking thing is covered in your ear bogies!" :hehe: :cloud9:

Did you see the photograph of a seahorse with a cotton bud (link below). It broke my heart a little bit.

So in short, sod your cotton buds.

https://www.google.com/search?q=sea+horse+cotton+bud&client=firefox-b&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=PJWn-_y8KwNN0M%253A%252CialgoNNzyFrzIM%252C_&usg=__i4zyryBeGYaM8aAPc4p_RdRuxNw%3D&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiLutHNg8baAhWOzqQKHQKcDJMQ9QEIKTAA#imgr c=PJWn-_y8KwNN0M:

[Burney]

"Once trained, shop assistants will advise and direct customers who ask towards healthier choices"

Don't really see the problem....if you are having to ask for advice in a supermarket you are pretty ****ed.

I would direct the honourable gentleman to this sentence: "For example a shopper deciding on a meal to cook for supper might be advised to buy quinoa instead of rice, Waitrose said."

Apart from being the most middle class sentence ever, what is actually intended is that the customer should be guilted into buying something about eight times more expensive than rice under the guise of pretending to care about their health.

Mind you, one could while away an amusing afternoon in Waitrose by taking things like pork pies, Sunny Delight, sausage rolls and lard up to shop assistants and asking them to suggest healthy alternatives. :hehe:

[Peter]

"Excuse me, I'm a fat **** and can't decide whether this broccolli or this lard would make for the healthier dinner, plus my children are malnourished which is the fault of evil Tories."

That's the sort of thing I'm imagining.

Yes, but what are they doing in a Waitrose? They should be directed to Asda who have a much broader and cheaper range of frozen pizzas, mega boxes of crisps and sausages that, for content reasons, have to be called bangers. THey also provide a mobility scooter for customers who are so fat that they cannot walk round a supermarket.

[Burney]

For the best results presumably Sir moistens the end before inserting

I believe that's simply good manners, s.

[PSRB]

"Excuse me, I'm a fat **** and can't decide whether this broccolli or this lard would make for the healthier dinner, plus my children are malnourished which is the fault of evil Tories."

That's the sort of thing I'm imagining.

I doubt lefties use Waitrose

[Burney]

Did you see the photograph of a seahorse with a cotton bud (link below). It broke my heart a little bit.

So in short, sod your cotton buds.

https://www.google.com/search?q=sea+horse+cotton+bud&client=firefox-b&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=PJWn-_y8KwNN0M%253A%252CialgoNNzyFrzIM%252C_&usg=__i4zyryBeGYaM8aAPc4p_RdRuxNw%3D&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiLutHNg8baAhWOzqQKHQKcDJMQ9QEIKTAA#imgr c=PJWn-_y8KwNN0M:

I think it looks cool. He looks really proud of his cotton bud. I bet all the other seahorses are envious of him.

[Burney]

I doubt lefties use Waitrose

Rich lefties do.

[Peter]

I would direct the honourable gentleman to this sentence: "For example a shopper deciding on a meal to cook for supper might be advised to buy quinoa instead of rice, Waitrose said."

Apart from being the most middle class sentence ever, what is actually intended is that the customer should be guilted into buying something about eight times more expensive than rice under the guise of pretending to care about their health.

Mind you, one could while away an amusing afternoon in Waitrose by taking things like pork pies, Sunny Delight, sausage rolls and lard up to shop assistants and asking them to suggest healthy alternatives. :hehe:

:hehe::hehe: THere is a Waitrose just 300 yards from me. I will be availing myself of this service as soon as possible.

Quinoa is absolutely, ****ing revolting.

[Rich]

I think it looks cool. He looks really proud of his cotton bud. I bet all the other seahorses are envious of him.

:-( :-( :-(

[Burney]

You make a good point; the buds must be of the highest quality so that the end is wrapped tightly and doesn't feel like cotton wool. In reality, it's Johnson & Johnson or nothing.

Paperclips are good, but I once poked a little too far and thought for a moment that I had punctured my eardrum. This caused me to ease off pushing metal implements into my head.

There's nothing like using a paperclip and hitting a reach seam of dark brown gunge, though. Tremendously satisfying - and it feels like much better sport when you use a paperclip rather than a cotton bud.

[Burney]

:hehe::hehe: THere is a Waitrose just 300 yards from me. I will be availing myself of this service as soon as possible.

Quinoa is absolutely, ****ing revolting.

Do you know, I've managed to get through the last few years without having knowingly consumed quinoa. It just hasn't come up.

[Sir C]

Do you know, I've managed to get through the last few years without having knowingly consumed quinoa. It just hasn't come up.

The last time I had quinoa was at my wedding, I think.

I can't really remember it. Isn't it just sort of like cous cous?

[Burney]

The last time I had quinoa was at my wedding, I think.

I can't really remember it. Isn't it just sort of like cous cous?

Was there quinoa there? If so, I must have eaten it, as I consumed every scrap. Do you still have the menu?

[Rich]

The last time I had quinoa was at my wedding, I think.

I can't really remember it. Isn't it just sort of like cous cous?

Isn't quinoa a recent phenomenon? I would have thought that you got hitched many, many years ago (not wishing to cause offence).

[Peter]

The last time I had quinoa was at my wedding, I think.

I can't really remember it. Isn't it just sort of like cous cous?

Sort of, but worse.

When did rice become unhealthy?

[IUFG]

Isn't quinoa a recent phenomenon?

Yes, r. If by recent you mean 3,000 - 4,000 years.

[Pat Vegas]

Isn't quinoa a recent phenomenon? I would have thought that you got hitched many, many years ago (not wishing to cause offence).

:nod: with Kale imo.

[Peter]

Do you know, I've managed to get through the last few years without having knowingly consumed quinoa. It just hasn't come up.

I am assuming you aren't regularly subjected to the delights of vegan cafes... :(

[Rich]

Sort of, but worse.

When did rice become unhealthy?

Nothing wrong with wholegrain rice in modest quantities.

[Burney]

Sort of, but worse.

When did rice become unhealthy?

White food is unhealthy. It's part of the post-colonial backlash.

[Burney]

Nothing wrong with wholegrain rice in modest quantities.

Apart from the fact that it mings.

[Rich]

Yes, r. If by recent you mean 3,000 - 4,000 years.

Well I don't remember quinoa burgers being a thing in London until about 2 years ago.

[Burney]

:nod: with Kale imo.

That is not the name of Sir C's wife.

[Pat Vegas]

That is not the name of Sir C's wife.

:sherlock:

[IUFG]

Apart from the fact that it mings.

well, quite.

just about everything that is wholemeal, wholegrain, multigrain' or simply 'brown' is as bland as fúck and a struggle to eat, imo

[Burney]

I am assuming you aren't regularly subjected to the delights of vegan cafes... :(

Strangely, no. I would cross the road to avoid such an establishment, in fact.

I would assume that as soon as one enters such a place, one is engulfed in the reek of unwashed bodies, sweat-soaked hempen garments and pulse-based flatulence. :-(

[Rich]

well, quite.

just about everything that is wholemeal, wholegrain, multigrain' or simply 'brown' is as bland as fúck and a struggle to eat, imo

One has to make sacrifices in the quest for clean living.

[Burney]

Well I don't remember quinoa burgers being a thing in London until about 2 years ago.

'Quinoa burgers'?

Good heavens. What a time to be alive! :-(

[IUFG]

Well I don't remember quinoa burgers being a thing in London until about 2 years ago.

That is because a quinoa burger isn't really a fúcking burger.

Quinoa only became 'on trend' ( :puke: ) because some uptight, beard sporting, tight-jeaned **** thought they'd invented the fúcking stuff.

[Rich]

That is because a quinoa burger isn't really a fúcking burger.

Quinoa only became 'on trend' ( :puke: ) because some uptight, beard sporting, tight-jeaned **** thought they'd invented the fúcking stuff.

People pay £15 for one in my local.

[IUFG]

People pay £15 for one in my local.

are they uptight, beard sporting, tight-jeaned ****s, r?

[World's End Stella]

:nod: with Kale imo.

Mrs WES has just returned from NY where she discovered that Manhattan is absolutely mad for kale, they put it in f*cking everything.

She showed me a picture of a prawn, kale Caesar salad. Which caused me to comment that by default that meant it wasn't a Caesar salad at all.

On the upside, Master WES showed me a brunch dish. Two eggs with hollandaise on top of a bed of poutine with chunks of BBQ brisket all around. For brunch. F*cker must have had about 8000 calories. He ate it all, of course. :cloud9:

[Burney]

That is because a quinoa burger isn't really a fúcking burger.

Quinoa only became 'on trend' ( :puke: ) because some uptight, beard sporting, tight-jeaned **** thought they'd invented the fúcking stuff.

Well of course it isn't. I don't even count chicken burgers as 'burgers' (they're chicken sandwiches), let alone things whose main ingredient never saw the inside of an abbatoir.

Burgers are made from beef. This is simply a scientific fact.

[Rich]

are they uptight, beard sporting, tight-jeaned ****s, r?

Mostly, yes. They turn up on their single speed bicycle in their grandfather's clothes. They wash it down with a craft beer or two (not too many, though!), talk about their sleeve tattoos, play Connect Four & then leave.

[Burney]

Mostly, yes. They turn up on their single speed bicycle in their grandfather's clothes. They wash it down with a craft beer or two (not too many, though!), talk about their sleeve tattoos, play Connect Four & then leave.

This is the sort of thing that makes me think Putin ought to nuke us. :-(

[Rich]

Well of course it isn't. I don't even count chicken burgers as 'burgers' (they're chicken sandwiches), let alone things whose main ingredient never saw the inside of an abbatoir.

Burgers are made from beef. This is simply a scientific fact.

Hmm... I don't disagree but I think a lamb burger is nearly a burger.

It seems the term 'burger' refers merely to the shape these days. That being said, when you order a sausage bagel in New York, the sausages come in a burger shape. Yet they don't call them sausage/pork burgers.

[IUFG]

This is the sort of thing that makes me think Putin ought to nuke us. :-(

it'll be FODMAP menus in pubs next, b. mark my words...

[Burney]

it'll be FODMAP menus in pubs next, b. mark my words...

Ah, now I've heard of that due to my wife having a coeliac friend.

I must admit that when she first told me she was a coeliac, I thought she was referring to some crank religion.

[Peter]

Strangely, no. I would cross the road to avoid such an establishment, in fact.

I would assume that as soon as one enters such a place, one is engulfed in the reek of unwashed bodies, sweat-soaked hempen garments and pulse-based flatulence. :-(

Not really. Just a smog of self satisfaction and the whiff of competition as to who has saved the most animals/planets today.

if you are just a vegan you are bottom of the ladder. You have to be gluten free as well to get a seat at the table and, ideally, only eat things that sprout.....

[SWv2]

People pay £15 for one in my local.

I would imagine, without prejudice, that most of the people in your so called local are officially recognised as ****s?

[Burney]

Not really. Just a smog of self satisfaction and the whiff of competition as to who has saved the most animals/planets today.

if you are just a vegan you are bottom of the ladder. You have to be gluten free as well to get a seat at the table and, ideally, only eat things that sprout.....

I like it when they sneer at mere vegetarians. :hehe: It puts me in mind of flagellants, hair shirts and other competitive forms of masochistic self-mortification.

They're all quite mad, of course. You realise that, don't you?

[Rich]

I would imagine, without prejudice, that most of the people in your so called local are officially recognised as ****s?

Is it possible to procure a quinoa burger in Ireland, SW? Or are you about 30 years behind us with that too?

[Burney]

Is it possible to procure a quinoa burger in Ireland, SW? Or are you about 30 years behind us with that too?

To be fair, consuming a joyless grain that for thousands of years dwelt in deserved obscurity as the foodstuff of llamas hardly represents the zenith of progress, does it?

[Peter]

I like it when they sneer at mere vegetarians. :hehe: It puts me in mind of flagellants, hair shirts and other competitive forms of masochistic self-mortification.

They're all quite mad, of course. You realise that, don't you?

there are significant health benefits, b. Given that the food is so ****ing awful it becomes very easy to lose and/or control your weight.

I find the whole competition quite amusing but around the half hour mark you develop a desperate desire to start slashing throats.

[Peter]

To be fair, consuming a joyless grain that for thousands of years dwelt in deserved obscurity as the foodstuff of llamas hardly represents the zenith of progress, does it?

:hehe::hehe:

[Tony C]

For fox Sake...

On another note I noticed they put the price of regular coke up but I regularly purchase Coke Zero and was wondering if I was going to get a discount :shrug:

[Pokster]

Is it possible to procure a quinoa burger in Ireland, SW? Or are you about 30 years behind us with that too?

Why on earth would he (or any sane person) want to buy one in Ireland, or anywhere else for that matter

[Tony C]

Quinoa...up there with the sweet potato fries imo

Noticed quite a few supermarkets and restaurants introducing Cactus as the new superfood!!! Wtf

And the local juice bar has started introducing Charcoal shots...yo wtf

Wonder what will be the dumbest superfood to introduce? Maybe dirt or manure imo

[Sir C]

Was there quinoa there? If so, I must have eaten it, as I consumed every scrap. Do you still have the menu?

I'm pretty sure it was on the menu because I expressed some reservations when I was told of it.

I suspect she herself has copies of such documents.

[Burney]

Quinoa...up there with the sweet potato fries imo

Noticed quite a few supermarkets and restaurants introducing Cactus as the new superfood!!! Wtf

And the local juice bar has started introducing Charcoal shots...yo wtf

Wonder what will be the dumbest superfood to introduce? Maybe dirt or manure imo

I saw this yesterday, t. I assumed it was some kind of a joke. :-(

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/charcoal-activated-vegan-croissant-debate-twitter-coco-di-mama-london-a8309376.html

[Burney]

I'm pretty sure it was on the menu because I expressed some reservations when I was told of it.

I suspect she herself has copies of such documents.

Yes, my only criticism of the menu was that there wasn't enough potato. A plate of chips on the side would have made it perfect imo.

[Sir C]

Yes, my only criticism of the menu was that there wasn't enough potato. A plate of chips on the side would have made it perfect imo.

I made the very same point to Monsieur Blanc the next day. He was extremely apologetic.

[Rich]

Quinoa...up there with the sweet potato fries imo

Noticed quite a few supermarkets and restaurants introducing Cactus as the new superfood!!! Wtf

And the local juice bar has started introducing Charcoal shots...yo wtf

Wonder what will be the dumbest superfood to introduce? Maybe dirt or manure imo

I've had cactus before - somewhere in the Middle East, I think. Was quite nice iirc.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

How much did they sting you for it ?

[SWv2]

As long as they will sell me a meat pie as and when I want it then I don't give two fúcks.

[Burney]

As long as they will sell me a meat pie as and when I want it then I don't give two fúcks.

I doubt Waitrose even has a hot pie section, sw.

[Luis Anaconda]

How much did they sting you for it ?

I reckon a lot - they know a stupid prick when they see one :cooper: