I know exactly who is to blame for last night.

[Sir C]

That jinxy **** monty.

Let's string him up.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

That jinxy **** monty.

Let's string him up.

tit that you have single-handedly kept in office for the last ten years with your ceaseless stream of disingenuous* plaudits and praise?

*you knew he was inept but considered his social class far more important than his ability to deliver real glory.

[Sir C]

tit that you have single-handedly kept in office for the last ten years with your ceaseless stream of disingenuous* plaudits and praise?

*you knew he was inept but considered his social class far more important than his ability to deliver real glory.

You don't deserve Arsene Wenger.

I hope he resigns and we appoint Tony Pulis. Serve all you disloyal ****s right.

[Pokster]

You don't deserve Arsene Wenger.

I hope he resigns and we appoint Tony Pulis. Serve all you disloyal ****s right.

At least our defense would improve

[Sir C]

At least our defense would improve

Defence. You are not some sort of ghastly colonial, you are some sort of ghastly northerner.

[Pokster]

Defence. You are not some sort of ghastly colonial, you are some sort of ghastly northerner.

Go home Dutcher, or Irisher, whatever you claim to be....

Did you see the top 100 walks on ITV last night? 5 of the top 10 were in the Lakes

[Sir C]

Go home Dutcher, or Irisher, whatever you claim to be....

Did you see the top 100 walks on ITV last night? 5 of the top 10 were in the Lakes

No, I missed that. Perhaps I can find it again.

[PSRB]

That jinxy **** monty.

Let's string him up.

Was exactly my thought last night, hanging is too good for him

[PSRB]

Go home Dutcher, or Irisher, whatever you claim to be....

Did you see the top 100 walks on ITV last night? 5 of the top 10 were in the Lakes

I take it number one was 'to the pub'?

[Pokster]

No, I missed that. Perhaps I can find it again.

It's on ITV iplayer, or whatever they call it....Malham Cove is a fantastic walk if you ever stop off in yorkshire again

[Pokster]

I take it number one was 'to the pub'?

via a 10 mile hike up a mountain in the lakes....... number 4 did end up at the pub

[Sir C]

It's on ITV iplayer, or whatever they call it....Malham Cove is a fantastic walk if you ever stop off in yorkshire again

End of April :rubshands:

[Bergkamp Was Best]

I take it number one was 'to the pub'?

Should be the "Walk of shame", Emirates stadium to St Pancras International :-(

[Pokster]

End of April :rubshands:

Off to Northumberland again in the summer.... beach walks galore and good pub food at night :cloud9:

[Sir C]

Off to Northumberland again in the summer.... beach walks galore and good pub food at night :cloud9:

Beaches are nice but have a tendency to be a little flat imo. Get yourself up some lumps, man.

[Burney]

No, I missed that. Perhaps I can find it again.

Did I ever tell you about my idea for a Viz-style comic strip entitled 'Wainwright's Wànks', in which the fell-bothering curmudgeon is constantly trying to find a quiet place in the Lake District in which to knock one out, only to be repeatedly disturbed by tourists, school parties, dogs, search and rescue helicopters, etc?

[Pokster]

Beaches are nice but have a tendency to be a little flat imo. Get yourself up some lumps, man.

Beaches are great for letting the hounds have a run around... we will do a few lumps while there.

[Sir C]

Did I ever tell you about my idea for a Viz-style comic strip entitled 'Wainwright's Wànks', in which the fell-bothering curmudgeon is constantly trying to find a quiet place in the Lake District in which to knock one out, only to be repeatedly disturbed by tourists, school parties, dogs, search and rescue helicopters, etc?

You did, yes.

:weirdo:

[Burney]

You did, yes.

:weirdo:


I think the idea came to me because I read one of his books and he came across as such a miserable wànker. I mean I'm as misanthropic as the next cûnt, but he genuinely appeared to resent the presence of anyone at all on the same mountain as him - while writing books designed to attract people to climb up said mountains.

[Sir C]

I think the idea came to me because I read one of his books and he came across as such a miserable wànker. I mean I'm as misanthropic as the next cûnt, but he genuinely appeared to resent the presence of anyone at all on the same mountain as him - while writing books designed to attract people to climb up said mountains.

The man was the most appalling árse. I once blew my lungs out struggling up some near-vertical fúcking rock face and, when reading about it in his book later, saw him describe it as 'a gentle, grassy slope, suitable for children and invalids.'

****.

[Monty92]

We're on course to be a point or two behind Spurs by the end of next weekend. It's hardly as if my confidently asserted prediction is dead in the water.

:-|



That jinxy **** monty.

Let's string him up.

[Burney]

The man was the most appalling árse. I once blew my lungs out struggling up some near-vertical fúcking rock face and, when reading about it in his book later, saw him describe it as 'a gentle, grassy slope, suitable for children and invalids.'

****.

To be fair, you were smoking about 70 a day back then, so probably qualified for the latter category.

I take it you are still eschewing the oily rags?

[Burney]

We're on course to be a point or two behind Spurs by the end of next weekend. It's hardly as if my confidently asserted prediction is dead in the water.

:-|

No. When I saw the score last night, I immediately held you responsible, I'm afraid. I'm ashamed I may even have called you a bad name in my head. :judge:

[Sir C]

To be fair, you were smoking about 70 a day back then, so probably qualified for the latter category.

I take it you are still eschewing the oily rags?

Certainly. It is interesting that the difference in lung performance is pretty marginal. I believe that if you smoke tabs and don't exercise, you will be a wheezing cripple, but if you're fit, you're fit, fags or no.

Indeed, I suspect that the whole, 'smoking is bad for you' thing is a load of old cobblers.

Nevertheless, I currently choose not to indulge.

[Monty92]

To be fair, you were smoking about 70 a day back then, so probably qualified for the latter category.

I take it you are still eschewing the oily rags?

When I hiked the Inca Trail many years ago my tour group consisted of a bunch of lads from Somerset who had been heavily on the lash the night before the trek began, and a fat bird from Australia. On all five days I was the second from last to reach camp, only saved from complete humiliation by the fat Aussie :-(

[Monty92]

No. When I saw the score last night, I immediately held you responsible, I'm afraid. I'm ashamed I may even have called you a bad name in my head. :judge:

I understand this reaction, so long as you know deep down that it is irrational.

Or to put it another way, judge me in May :nod:

[Ash]

The man was the most appalling árse. I once blew my lungs out struggling up some near-vertical fúcking rock face and, when reading about it in his book later, saw him describe it as 'a gentle, grassy slope, suitable for children and invalids.'

****.

Are you quite sure you were on the same route as he was describing?

[Burney]

Certainly. It is interesting that the difference in lung performance is pretty marginal. I believe that if you smoke tabs and don't exercise, you will be a wheezing cripple, but if you're fit, you're fit, fags or no.

Indeed, I suspect that the whole, 'smoking is bad for you' thing is a load of old cobblers.

Nevertheless, I currently choose not to indulge.

And are you a keen vapist now? Does your chosen device billow out great clouds of perfumed mist?

[Sir C]

Are you quite sure you were on the same route as he was describing?

It is hard to tell sometimes, isn't it?

I got a new flask at christmas. A massive fúcker. I'm going to be able to take gallons of tea up Helvellyn. :cloud9:

[Burney]

I understand this reaction, so long as you know deep down that it is irrational.

Or to put it another way, judge me in May :nod:

Us being comprehensively outplayed by the bottom-placed team in the table is pretty fûcking irrational also imo. Given which, I can only conclude witchcraft is at work and that you are at the bottom of it.

[Sir C]

And are you a keen vapist now? Does your chosen device billow out great clouds of perfumed mist?

I am quite the stylish vapeur. The glw has a device which is adjustable and able to expel splendidly huge clouds; I favour a simpler, stick-like device.

We're down to the lowest nicotine level now. I can see the day coming when we'll sack the whole thing off.

One day I may well return to the fags, of course. I like fags.

[Burney]

It is hard to tell sometimes, isn't it?

I got a new flask at christmas. A massive fúcker. I'm going to be able to take gallons of tea up Helvellyn. :cloud9:

Tea. :-( Hot(ish), milky tea. Will you also smack your lips and say things like 'Aaaah, that's good' as you consume the insipid beverage?

[Ash]

It is hard to tell sometimes, isn't it?


The discrepancies I find these days between his descriptions and my experience say much about my increasing reluctance to enjoy peril. So his "boring, grassy trudge" is my "pleasant, relaxing stroll" while his "exhilarating scenery" is my "treacherous crest of rock with certain death all around at the first slip of a boot".

[Sir C]

Tea. :-( Hot(ish), milky tea. Will you also smack your lips and say things like 'Aaaah, that's good' as you consume the insipid beverage?

The tea from my flask is boiling hot, and it certainly does not contain milk.

You know nothing of the joy of tea from a flask.

There will also be sandwiches, Penguin biscuits and a flask of brandy :cloud9: :perfectday:

[Burney]

I am quite the stylish vapeur. The glw has a device which is adjustable and able to expel splendidly huge clouds; I favour a simpler, stick-like device.

We're down to the lowest nicotine level now. I can see the day coming when we'll sack the whole thing off.

One day I may well return to the fags, of course. I like fags.

Do you know, you'd probably find the taste of a cigarette fairly repellent by now. Because that's the thing one doesn't realise when one is a smoker - fags taste bloody awful.

[Ash]

Tea. :-( Hot(ish), milky tea. Will you also smack your lips and say things like 'Aaaah, that's good' as you consume the insipid beverage?

:nono: There's a specific buzz to be had from tea, maan.

No reason why one may not enjoy both tea and coffee.

[Burney]

The discrepancies I find these days between his descriptions and my experience say much about my increasing reluctance to enjoy peril. So his "boring, grassy trudge" is my "pleasant, relaxing stroll" while his "exhilarating scenery" is my "treacherous crest of rock with certain death all around at the first slip of a boot".

You like my 'Wainwright's Wànks' idea, don't you, a? Can you not just envision him in his cagoule, shaking his fist and saying 'BAH!' at the latest frustration of his onanistic antics?

[Ash]

Do you know, you'd probably find the taste of a cigarette fairly repellent by now. Because that's the thing one doesn't realise when one is a smoker - fags taste bloody awful.

This is the advantage (or disadvantage) of rollups. Unlike fags they don't actually taste disgusting.

[Sir C]

The discrepancies I find these days between his descriptions and my experience say much about my increasing reluctance to enjoy peril. So his "boring, grassy trudge" is my "pleasant, relaxing stroll" while his "exhilarating scenery" is my "treacherous crest of rock with certain death all around at the first slip of a boot".

I think he was a Billy Big Bóllocks type. I bet he shít himself regularly but failed to confess it.

[Sir C]

Do you know, you'd probably find the taste of a cigarette fairly repellent by now. Because that's the thing one doesn't realise when one is a smoker - fags taste bloody awful.

This is further proof, if such proof were needed, that you were never a smoker. I had a single drag on a Marlboro the other day and it was stunningly delicious.

Oddly, I had no real urge to take another drag.

[Burney]

:nono: There's a specific buzz to be had from tea, maan.

No reason why one may not enjoy both tea and coffee.

Oh, this isn't a tea vs. coffee thing. Coffee is simply a medical necessity as far as I'm concerned. This is about my mystification at the idea of being made happy by any non-alcoholic drink.

[Ash]

You like my 'Wainwright's Wànks' idea, don't you, a? Can you not just envision him in his cagoule, shaking his fist and saying 'BAH!' at the latest frustration of his onanistic antics?

I have to say it does capture the Viz 'spirit' somewhat.

Not sure why he doesn't just go to the loo and lock the door though tbh.

[Sir C]

Oh, this isn't a tea vs. coffee thing. Coffee is simply a medical necessity as far as I'm concerned. This is about my mystification at the idea of being made happy by any non-alcoholic drink.

I drank a can of Coke recently, for the first time in years. DO YOU KNOW HOW SWEET THAT STUFF IS? :yikes:

[Burney]

This is further proof, if such proof were needed, that you were never a smoker. I had a single drag on a Marlboro the other day and it was stunningly delicious.

Oddly, I had no real urge to take another drag.

Maybe you just haven't been off them long enough. :shrug: How long is it now?

[Sir C]

Maybe you just haven't been off them long enough. :shrug: How long is it now?

5 months :shrug:

[Burney]

I drank a can of Coke recently, for the first time in years. DO YOU KNOW HOW SWEET THAT STUFF IS? :yikes:

I know. Insane, isn't it? But it's not just things like coke. I no longer drink bottled orange juice for the same reason. I had a glass of it in a hotel a while ago and thought I was going to go into diabetic coma.

[Burney]

5 months :shrug:


Yeah, you can easily still slip at that stage. God knows, I got back into them after eight years. Pretty sure I'll never go back now, though.

[Peter]

5 months :shrug:

I did this. Gave up for nearly a year and then one day, for no real reason, I had a quick puff on a Marlboro light. Slowly but surely the feeling that I could have 'the oddfag' crept into my head and within two months I was smoking like a chimney again.

[SWv2]

I know exactly who is to blame for last night.

Arsene Wenger.

We have been here before.

[Sir C]

I did this. Gave up for nearly a year and then one day, for no real reason, I had a quick puff on a Marlboro light. Slowly but surely the feeling that I could have 'the oddfag' crept into my head and within two months I was smoking like a chimney again.

But I am no weak-minded socialist type, p. I understand personal responsibility and self-discipline.

[Burney]

But I am no weak-minded socialist type, p. I understand personal responsibility and self-discipline.

Jeremy Corbyn is a non-smoking, non-drinking vegetarian whose idea of fun is apple juice.

Moral: There is no inherent merit in self-denial.

[Sir C]

Jeremy Corbyn is a non-smoking, non-drinking vegetarian whose idea of fun is apple juice.

Moral: There is no inherent merit in self-denial.

Certainly there is not. There is, however, dignity in the capacity for self-denial.

Corbyn's denial isn't an effort of will, for the ability to enjoy booze, fags and drugs is something lefties lack entirely. They are inherently incapable of feeling joy, their 'brains' being so entirely taken up with envy, jealousy, bile and sloth.

[Burney]

Certainly there is not. There is, however, dignity in the capacity for self-denial.

Corbyn's denial isn't an effort of will, for the ability to enjoy booze, fags and drugs is something lefties lack entirely. They are inherently incapable of feeling joy, their 'brains' being so entirely taken up with envy, jealousy, bile and sloth.

A fair distinction. I concur.

[World's End Stella]

End of April :rubshands:

LRK was slightly disappointing in Dec, possibly because my expectations were so high after our first visit.

He seems to have gone poncier and more traditional. Venison as the main course. I would be surprised if there was more than 100g of meat on the plate such was the ponciness. And the second course of minestrone soup was a shocker. Think of chopped grass in water.

Still go again, of course.

[Sir C]

LRK was slightly disappointing in Dec, possibly because my expectations were so high after our first visit.

He seems to have gone poncier and more traditional. Venison as the main course. I would be surprised if there was more than 100g of meat on the plate such was the ponciness. And the second course of minestrone soup was a shocker. Think of chopped grass in water.

Still go again, of course.

I don't think I would go again. Once was enough.

[Rich]

LRK was slightly disappointing in Dec, possibly because my expectations were so high after our first visit.

He seems to have gone poncier and more traditional. Venison as the main course. I would be surprised if there was more than 100g of meat on the plate such was the ponciness. And the second course of minestrone soup was a shocker. Think of chopped grass in water.

Still go again, of course.

I shall be getting myself some venison at the weekend (so long as we can find them) :bang: :hide: