Just watched the woman from accross the way take twenty minutes to get her car

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

moving. Took her that long to realise her wheels were just spinning.

Got herself up to about 20 MPH on the solid ice, completely oblivious to the fact a slight touch of her break would simply send her into a 50 yard, uncontrollable skid.

How can someone be so cancer deservingly, ****holingly fúcking thick? :monty-style-rant:

[Sir C]

moving. Took her that long to realise her wheels were just spinning.

Got herself up to about 20 MPH on the solid ice, completely oblivious to the fact a slight touch of her break would simply send her into a 50 yard, uncontrollable skid.

How can someone be so cancer deservingly, ****holingly fúcking thick? :monty-style-rant:

People who learnt to drive within the last 15 or 20 years have been dramatically short-changed, h. Never having known a vehicle without ABS, radial tyres, disc brakes and traction control means they never developed any sort of feeling for the process of controlling the car; they are simply able to point the thing in the direction they want to go and use the stop and go pedals. On the very rare occasion that road conditions make the process a little more interactive, they're fúcked.

It's a shame, is what it is.

[Burney]

moving. Took her that long to realise her wheels were just spinning.

Got herself up to about 20 MPH on the solid ice, completely oblivious to the fact a slight touch of her break would simply send her into a 50 yard, uncontrollable skid.

How can someone be so cancer deservingly, ****holingly fúcking thick? :monty-style-rant:

My favourites are the ones who don't understand why their rear-wheel-drive cars are all over the option when there's a bit of snow and ice. As long as your car/loved ones are nowhere in the vicinity of these dangerous lunatics, it can actually be very funny watching their efforts.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

People who learnt to drive within the last 15 or 20 years have been dramatically short-changed, h. Never having known a vehicle without ABS, radial tyres, disc brakes and traction control means they never developed any sort of feeling for the process of controlling the car; they are simply able to point the thing in the direction they want to go and use the stop and go pedals. On the very rare occasion that road conditions make the process a little more interactive, they're fúcked.

It's a shame, is what it is.

And when she mows down a gaggle of blameless little children waiting at the bus stop, she'll shrug her shoulders and say "It wasn't my fault. The brakes just didn't work."

She's a ****, is what she is.

[Pat Vegas]

People who learnt to drive within the last 15 or 20 years have been dramatically short-changed, h. Never having known a vehicle without ABS, radial tyres, disc brakes and traction control means they never developed any sort of feeling for the process of controlling the car; they are simply able to point the thing in the direction they want to go and use the stop and go pedals. On the very rare occasion that road conditions make the process a little more interactive, they're fúcked.

It's a shame, is what it is.

:nod: for example. I've never had a punctured tyre before and now I am stressed out like some pansy.

[Burney]

People who learnt to drive within the last 15 or 20 years have been dramatically short-changed, h. Never having known a vehicle without ABS, radial tyres, disc brakes and traction control means they never developed any sort of feeling for the process of controlling the car; they are simply able to point the thing in the direction they want to go and use the stop and go pedals. On the very rare occasion that road conditions make the process a little more interactive, they're fúcked.

It's a shame, is what it is.

But the infantilisation of the driver has been a process the car industry has encouraged - indeed, striven towards - for decades. This is because most road accidents are the fault of the sack of meat behind the wheel and reducing their input in the process does actually cut the number of RTAs.

[Burney]

And when she mows down a gaggle of blameless little children waiting at the bus stop, she'll shrug her shoulders and say "It wasn't my fault. The brakes just didn't work."

She's a ****, is what she is.

Anyone who has ever spent time on a bus with schoolchildren knows that the little fückers are anything but blameless.

[Sir C]

But the infantilisation of the driver has been a process the car industry has encouraged - indeed, striven towards - for decades. This is because most road accidents are the fault of the sack of meat behind the wheel and reducing their input in the process does actually cut the number of RTAs.

Oh, you're absolutely right, and the improvement in the safety, efficiency and comfort of motor vehicles is entirely laudable and nigh on miraculous. I just think it would be better if people learnt to drive on a 1973 Ford Escort Popular, then got to appreciate a modern vehicle, equipped with a much better understanding of the car and with the skills to truly control the vehicle.

Obviously such a thing is never going to happen. Where the fúck would we find a load of 1973 Ford Escorts, for Christ's sake. I'm just saying, like.

[Sir C]

:nod: for example. I've never had a punctured tyre before and now I am stressed out like some pansy.

Yes. Of course people like you should be forced to learn to change a tyre in the pissing rain at the side of a motorway in February. You should be taught to break down in the snow whilst on your way to a job interview, leaving you to check HT leads, remove the distributor cap, change the condensor, gap the points, remove the plugs and clean them and gap them... all of this would show you how piss easy you've got it.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

:nod: for example. I've never had a punctured tyre before and now I am stressed out like some pansy.

Rugged, manly types like Sir C and I simply roll up our sleeves to expose our beefy forearms and change the fecking tyre ourselves. Any women watching become profoundly moist at the sight of it.

Fops like Berni call the AA and do a 'damsel in distress' routine then sit there filing their nails for four hours waiting for the real man to turn up and change it for them.

[Burney]

Oh, you're absolutely right, and the improvement in the safety, efficiency and comfort of motor vehicles is entirely laudable and nigh on miraculous. I just think it would be better if people learnt to drive on a 1973 Ford Escort Popular, then got to appreciate a modern vehicle, equipped with a much better understanding of the car and with the skills to truly control the vehicle.

Obviously such a thing is never going to happen. Where the fúck would we find a load of 1973 Ford Escorts, for Christ's sake. I'm just saying, like.

I do agree. I'm one of the people who learned in the period you describe and will admit that what I've learned about driving in snow I learned the hard way. That first realisation that rather than the highly responsive machine that goes where you point it you're used to, you're in a large, unwieldy lump of metal whose major motive force is inertia can be a bit of an eye-opener.

[Burney]

Rugged, manly types like Sir C and I simply roll up our sleeves to expose our beefy forearms and change the fecking tyre ourselves. Any women watching become profoundly moist at the sight of it.

Fops like Berni call the AA and do a 'damsel in distress' routine then sit there filing their nails for four hours waiting for the real man to turn up and change it for them.

I pay for my membership of the AA. Why would I bother my arse getting dirty when it's what I pay them for?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I do agree. I'm one of the people who learned in the period you describe and will admit that what I've learned about driving in snow I learned the hard way. That first realisation that rather than the highly responsive machine that goes where you point it you're used to, you're in a large, unwieldy lump of metal whose major motive force is inertia can be a bit of an eye-opener.

How many 'ikkle kiddies had to perish under your wheels before you finally learned?

[Sir C]

I pay for my membership of the AA. Why would I bother my arse getting dirty when it's what I pay them for?

To be fair, you can change a wheel comfortable in 10 minutes and get a bit messy, or sit scratching your árse for an hour and a half waiting for an AA man... generally I've got somewhere I'd rather be than the side of a road.

[Burney]

How many 'ikkle kiddies had to perish under your wheels before you finally learned?

None. I did glide elegantly into a high kerb at one point, but that was about it. Actually, on the occasion I remember on the M25 (about 6/7 years ago, I think), the greater danger was actually people in RWD cars simply skidding across lanes in front of you.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I see you don't deny filing your nails while you await their arrival b. Do you flirt with the AA man while he changes your tyre?

[Sir C]

None. I did glide elegantly into a high kerb at one point, but that was about it. Actually, on the occasion I remember on the M25 (about 6/7 years ago, I think), the greater danger was actually people in RWD cars simply skidding across lanes in front of you.

You can't have fun in a front wheel drive car, b. It's a known fact. SCIENCE FACT.

[Burney]

To be fair, you can change a wheel comfortable in 10 minutes and get a bit messy, or sit scratching your árse for an hour and a half waiting for an AA man... generally I've got somewhere I'd rather be than the side of a road.

Pfff. If you do that, you give these semi-skilled workers nothing to do and feel superior about. Then they go home, feel depressed about their lives, drink heavily and beat their wives/abuse their children. Do you really want that on your conscience?

[Pat Vegas]

Yes. Of course people like you should be forced to learn to change a tyre in the pissing rain at the side of a motorway in February. You should be taught to break down in the snow whilst on your way to a job interview, leaving you to check HT leads, remove the distributor cap, change the condensor, gap the points, remove the plugs and clean them and gap them... all of this would show you how piss easy you've got it.

I'd quite happily do it, but of course now you don't get a proper spare.

[Sir C]

Pfff. If you do that, you give these semi-skilled workers nothing to do and feel superior about. Then they go home, feel depressed about their lives, drink heavily and beat their wives/abuse their children. Do you really want that on your conscience?

Like I give a fúck about tradesmen.

[Sir C]

I'd quite happily do it, but of course now you don't get a proper spare.

It makes no difference. You still have to put the space-saver on to take the car to Kwik Fit. :shrug:

[Burney]

I see you don't deny filing your nails while you await their arrival b. Do you flirt with the AA man while he changes your tyre?


Actually, the last time I had to call the AA, I'd left my lights on and run the battery down, so I was feeling like a proper cünt and no mistake. :hehe: He was very nice about it, but I knew he'd probably have a good laugh about it later.

[Burney]

You can't have fun in a front wheel drive car, b. It's a known fact. SCIENCE FACT.

What if you're having it orf in the car? Which wheels drive it will make no difference, surely?

Anyway, you need to get over this idea of cars being fun. They're not meant to be fun. Indeed, the logical endpoint of their development is that they do all the work and are no 'fun' whatsoever.

[Pat Vegas]

It makes no difference. You still have to put the space-saver on to take the car to Kwik Fit. :shrug:

I have a plan for this Sir C,
The garage i normally go to is about 30 seconds drive. I reckon I can make it with a quick blast of air,

[barrybueno]

Oh, you're absolutely right, and the improvement in the safety, efficiency and comfort of motor vehicles is entirely laudable and nigh on miraculous. I just think it would be better if people learnt to drive on a 1973 Ford Escort Popular, then got to appreciate a modern vehicle, equipped with a much better understanding of the car and with the skills to truly control the vehicle.

Obviously such a thing is never going to happen. Where the fúck would we find a load of 1973 Ford Escorts, for Christ's sake. I'm just saying, like.

These ****ers don't know the joy/skill of pulling out the manual choke and feeding it back in as the engine warms up either. Or having to put a peg on it if it decided to move itself. :hehe:

btw, if you find a load of 1973 Ford Escorts you'd be filthy rich*


*Richer even than you are now...

[Pokster]

To be fair, you can change a wheel comfortable in 10 minutes and get a bit messy, or sit scratching your árse for an hour and a half waiting for an AA man... generally I've got somewhere I'd rather be than the side of a road.

Except when you are dogging of course

[PSRB]

To be fair, you can change a wheel comfortable in 10 minutes and get a bit messy, or sit scratching your árse for an hour and a half waiting for an AA man... generally I've got somewhere I'd rather be than the side of a road.

I don't have a spare :rubchin:

[Sir C]

These ****ers don't know the joy/skill of pulling out the manual choke and feeding it back in as the engine warms up either. Or having to put a peg on it if it decided to move itself. :hehe:

btw, if you find a load of 1973 Ford Escorts you'd be filthy rich*


*Richer even than you are now...

You're not joking, b. I thought I'd buy myself a Mk 2 RS2000 and have it restored for a bit of nostalgia. People are asking £25k for a basket case!