I'm going out for chinese food tonight.

[Sir C]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China. :-(

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

[Pat Vegas]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China. :-(

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

Tapas, Mexican (if in the UK) Dinners at weddings/Christmas parties.

I also had a terrible experience in LA where you had to cook your own stuff on a the grill at the table. I hated it.

[World's End Stella]

Indian.

No matter how much I enjoy eating it, I always regret having done so as soon as I'm finished.

See also a full English breakfast.

[Sir C]

Indian.

No matter how much I enjoy eating it, I always regret having done so as soon as I'm finished.

See also a full English breakfast.

I'm done with the British 'Indian'. I've probably been eating it for, what, 40 years? Because it's what you do. But it's shít. Invariably. Inevitably. Shít. It bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to Indian food, which is invariably excellent.

In fact, it's the exact opposite to Chinese food.

We have arrived at a great truth today.

[IUFG]

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

Any black tie do where you just know you are going to a get a mushy, mass catered standard chicken / beef dinner.

they are exactly the type of thing this was made for...
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0397/8853/products/4_2048x@2x.jpg?v=1501181519

or a black tie do where you will receive poncy presentation of a any type of food whose quantity wouldn't satisfy a budgie. ****s.

[Burney]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China. :-(

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

Mexican (rice, beans mince and cheese in tortillas served a million ways) and Greek (it's just shít Muslim food, basically).

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Octopus
One greasy tapas serving did not end well
Apart from getting it knocked off the bill

[Pat Vegas]

Mexican (rice, beans mince and cheese in tortillas served a million ways) and Greek (it's just shít Muslim food, basically).

:nod: I do not like Greek food. Everything with yoghurt or weird cheeses no thanks.

[Burney]

Any black tie do where you just know you are going to a get a mushy, mass catered standard chicken / beef dinner.

they are exactly the type of thing this was made for...
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0397/8853/products/4_2048x@2x.jpg?v=1501181519

or a black tie do where you will receive poncy presentation of a any type of food whose quantity wouldn't satisfy a budgie. ****s.


It's the fondant potatoes that do my fücking head in. Invariably undercooked (and shït anyway), but mass caterers fücking love them.

[Monty92]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China. :-(

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

Where?

xxxxxxxx

[Sir C]

Where?

xxxxxxxx

Local to me. A place often frequented by Gary Rhodes, who claims it serves the best chinese food in the UK. He's lying.

Actuallynext week I'm going to where they do serve the best Chinese food in the UK; A Wong.

[Sir C]

Any black tie do where you just know you are going to a get a mushy, mass catered standard chicken / beef dinner.

they are exactly the type of thing this was made for...
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0397/8853/products/4_2048x@2x.jpg?v=1501181519

or a black tie do where you will receive poncy presentation of a any type of food whose quantity wouldn't satisfy a budgie. ****s.

Yes, that thought depresses me in advance, but at such dos I'm so píssed by dinner time I never notice the food.

[Burney]

Local to me. A place often frequented by Gary Rhodes, who claims it serves the best chinese food in the UK. He's lying.

Actuallynext week I'm going to where they do serve the best Chinese food in the UK; A Wong.

Ah. Xian.

Actually, the Mongoloid lamb's quite nice.

[Sir C]

Mexican (rice, beans mince and cheese in tortillas served a million ways) and Greek (it's just shít Muslim food, basically).

Depends on the Mexican, though. Mince, beans, chilli, cheese, lime, salt, coriander and tortillas is nice enough. You just don't want it every day.

Greek food can also be satisfying if you treat everything as a kebab.

[IUFG]

Yes, that thought depresses me in advance, but at such dos I'm so píssed by dinner time I never notice the food.

well, yes, several pints of anaesthetic does help

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Local to me. A place often frequented by Gary Rhodes, who claims it serves the best chinese food in the UK. He's lying.

Actuallynext week I'm going to where they do serve the best Chinese food in the UK; A Wong.

He's wight wong 'un an' no ewwor!

[Monty92]

Local to me. A place often frequented by Gary Rhodes, who claims it serves the best chinese food in the UK. He's lying.

Actuallynext week I'm going to where they do serve the best Chinese food in the UK; A Wong.

You started off this thread by bemoaning yer new fangled Chinesers when all you want is gloop, and yet you herald A Wong as your favourite Chinese restaurant? Something not quite right there.

I love A Wong too, for the record.

[Sir C]

He's wight wong 'un an' no ewwor!

Did you just do a 'why you no rissen?' gag?

[Sir C]

You started off this thread by bemoaning yer new fangled Chinesers when all you want is gloop, and yet you herald A Wong as your favourite Chinese restaurant? Something not quite right there.

I love A Wong too, for the record.

Would you mind showing me where I suggested A Wong was my favourite anything? Do you lack reading and comprehension skills?

[TheCurly]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China. :-(

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

The company xmas dinner is in an Indian every year.I have yet to eat a morsel.I just get fúcking steaming drunk if truth be told

[Burney]

Would you mind showing me where I suggested A Wong was my favourite anything? Do you lack reading and comprehension skills?

Is there only one Wong? Or are there two?

I ask in the hope of constructing a rather laboured pun.

[Monty92]

Would you mind showing me where I suggested A Wong was my favourite anything? Do you lack reading and comprehension skills?

How silly of me to treat "serves the best Chinese food in the UK" as any kind of a ringing endorsement :rolleyes:

[Monty92]

Is there only one Wong? Or are there two?

I ask in the hope of constructing a rather laboured pun.

They are a husband and wife duo. The husband is Jewish-Chinese but the wife isn't. They have one child who has denounced his paternal jewish heritage.

Which just goes to show, two Wongs don't make a Kike

[Pat Vegas]

They are a husband and wife duo. The husband is Jewish-Chinese but the wife isn't. They have one child.

Which just goes to show, two Wongs don't make a Kike

that's rubbish.

[Sir C]

How silly of me to treat "serves the best Chinese food in the UK" as any kind of a ringing endorsement :rolleyes:

It's a statement of fact, not preference.

Actually it shouldn't really be counted as Chinese food, because it's better than English chinese food and better than chinese chinese food.

Now I come to think of it, it is my favourite chinese restaurant after all!

wd m.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

:tumbleweed:

[Sir C]

The company xmas dinner is in an Indian every year.I have yet to eat a morsel.I just get fúcking steaming dream if truth be told

They'll do you an omelet if you don't want foreign muck, c. Just ask them to leave out the egg.

[Burney]

They are a husband and wife duo. The husband is Jewish-Chinese but the wife isn't. They have one child who has denounced his paternal jewish heritage.

Which just goes to show, two Wongs don't make a Kike

Hmmm. Have they ever had any contact with Marco Pierre White, do you know? Or with the Gentleman's club White's?

[Burney]

They'll do you an omelet if you don't want foreign muck, c. Just ask them to leave out the egg.

I saw Rick Stein pretending to enjoy an oyster omelette in San Francisco. It looked rank, tbh.

[Monty92]

Hmmm. Have they ever had any contact with Marco Pierre White, do you know? Or with the Gentleman's club White's?

Yes, yes they have. Both in fact. Pray tell, why?

[Sir C]

I saw Rick Stein pretending to enjoy an oyster omelette in San Francisco. It looked rank, tbh.

Oyster omelets in Asia are fantastic, but they're not really omelets. More a sort of egg-themed Russian roulette.

[TheCurly]

They'll do you an omelet if you don't want foreign muck, c. Just ask them to leave out the egg.

Their chips are the frozen wons SC
May as well just punch their customers in the face if you ask me

[Burney]

Oyster omelets in Asia are fantastic, but they're not really omelets. More a sort of egg-themed Russian roulette.

You couldn't have a baveuse oyster omelette. You wouldn't know where one snotty texture ended and the other began.

[Burney]

Yes, yes they have. Both in fact. Pray tell, why?

Errrrmmmm....dunno yet. Gimme a sec.

[Peter]

Unfortunately, it's the worst kind of chinese food. Not for me the glories of incandescent orange gloop coating my balls, nor a good, greasey chow mein. No ribs in brown Bisto lumps or congealing duck with tinned pineapple chunks.

No, I'm going to a supposedly 'good' chinese restaurant, where they serve the kind of bland, miserable pap you get in China. :-(

The only saving grace is that I can drink. And I intend to do so with not a little gusto.

What sort of dinner fills you with feelings of disappointment beforehand?

I hate the standard chines food in Britain. It is boring ****. I love proper Chinese food, served in china or Malaysia, as long as I am allowed to order it myself.

British Chinese food can go and **** itself.

Thai food is boring ****.

[Sir C]

I hate the standard chines food in Britain. It is boring ****. I love proper Chinese food, served in china or Malaysia, as long as I am allowed to order it myself.

British Chinese food can go and **** itself.

Thai food is boring ****.

This displays a degree of wrongness as yet unimagined by christian men.

If Thai cuisine consisted solely of som tam it would knock Chinese food into a cócked hat. And som tam is a fúcking salad.

[Burney]

This displays a degree of wrongness as yet unimagined by christian men.

If Thai cuisine consisted solely of som tam it would knock Chinese food into a cócked hat. And som tam is a fúcking salad.

It's the callous disregard for balls in orange gloop I find so distressing, tbh. :-(

[Sir C]

It's the callous disregard for balls in orange gloop I find so distressing, tbh. :-(

Imagine dismissing the ribs, b. The ribs! Barbecue sauce, salt n pepper, it's all one to me. Ribs!

[Peter]

This displays a degree of wrongness as yet unimagined by christian men.

If Thai cuisine consisted solely of som tam it would knock Chinese food into a cócked hat. And som tam is a fúcking salad.

Meh.....I had an interesting lamb curry once. But have ne ver found it again. Its all a bit ****ty.....

[SWv2]

I'm done with the British 'Indian'. I've probably been eating it for, what, 40 years? Because it's what you do. But it's shít. Invariably. Inevitably. Shít. It bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to Indian food, which is invariably excellent.

In fact, it's the exact opposite to Chinese food.

We have arrived at a great truth today.

Stop this nonsense.

While the above statement may be 100% based in truth the joys of an "Indian" as we have all known it for 30-40 years is beyond dispute.

The crunch of the fresh pappadum dipped into lime pickle, a nice tarka daal, chicken madras maybe, buttery naan.

You're wrong and I demand you come clean.

[Sir C]

Stop this nonsense.

While the above statement may be 100% based in truth the joys of an "Indian" as we have all known it for 30-40 years is beyond dispute.

The crunch of the fresh pappadum dipped into lime pickle, a nice tarka daal, chicken madras maybe, buttery naan.

You're wrong and I demand you come clean.

Nah. Indian food is a wonder of controlled spicing, with an enormous variety of different dishes. The shít we eat in this country is mystery meat bathed in gravy which comes in buckets from a central supplier and differs only in colour and chilli content.

Poppadoms and lime pickle are a fine thing, to be sure, but you can't get a decent roti or chapati in this country.

When did you last see an Indian menu in Europe featuring the finest Indian dishes of all, the lal maas or the dal makhani? You didn't, because these would require a little care to prepare.

In short, you're eating shíte, and by eating it, you're encouraging the production of it.

Just stop.

[Pokster]

Nah. Indian food is a wonder of controlled spicing, with an enormous variety of different dishes. The shít we eat in this country is mystery meat bathed in gravy which comes in buckets from a central supplier and differs only in colour and chilli content.

Poppadoms and lime pickle are a fine thing, to be sure, but you can't get a decent roti or chapati in this country.

When did you last see an Indian menu in Europe featuring the finest Indian dishes of all, the lal maas or the dal makhani? You didn't, because these would require a little care to prepare.

In short, you're eating shíte, and by eating it, you're encouraging the production of it.

Just stop.

Excuse me for butting in on you food snobs.... try coming to Bradford for a decent curry and you will never complain again

[PSRB]

Excuse me for butting in on you food snobs.... try coming to Bradford for a decent curry and you will never complain again

Was going to say the same about Manchester, plenty of choice on Curry mile for instance. Our local is superb, do a wonderful Pathia

[Sir C]

Excuse me for butting in on you food snobs.... try coming to Bradford for a decent curry and you will never complain again

Right, so I'm the food snob but you know the 'best' place to get a curry?

I see.

[PSRB]

Right, so I'm the food snob but you know the 'best' place to get a curry?

I see.

How was the Chinese?

[World's End Stella]

Right, so I'm the food snob but you know the 'best' place to get a curry?

I see.

I had two curries in my recent trip to India; one in Mumbai and one in Bangalore.

They were both very good. Equal to the best curries I have had in the UK but no better than that.

Food is a global commodity, it has been for years. As soon as someone says to me 'you haven't eaten xxx countries food until you've eaten it in xxx', I immediately tune them out as I know they're talking rubbish. I've had bland Thai food in Thailand, terrible pasta in Italy etc etc etc

Now stop being silly you old goat.

[Sir C]

How was the Chinese?

It was ok, actually. Some very decent ribs.

Man, I love ribs.

[SWv2]

Nah. Indian food is a wonder of controlled spicing, with an enormous variety of different dishes. The shít we eat in this country is mystery meat bathed in gravy which comes in buckets from a central supplier and differs only in colour and chilli content.

Poppadoms and lime pickle are a fine thing, to be sure, but you can't get a decent roti or chapati in this country.

When did you last see an Indian menu in Europe featuring the finest Indian dishes of all, the lal maas or the dal makhani? You didn't, because these would require a little care to prepare.

In short, you're eating shíte, and by eating it, you're encouraging the production of it.

Just stop.

Spice Hut round the corner from me does Lal Maas.

:-\

Of course perhaps not LM as prepared by the finest chefs in downtown Delhi but can we not just judge it for what it is?

Do you have to be a food snob all the time?

[Sir C]

Spice Hut round the corner from me does Lal Maas.

:-\

Of course perhaps not LM as prepared by the finest chefs in downtown Delhi but can we not just judge it for what it is?

Do you have to be a food snob all the time?

I am judging it for what it is. :shrug:

[Luis Anaconda]

I had two curries in my recent trip to India; one in Mumbai and one in Bangalore.

They were both very good. Equal to the best curries I have had in the UK but no better than that.

Food is a global commodity, it has been for years. As soon as someone says to me 'you haven't eaten xxx countries food until you've eaten it in xxx', I immediately tune them out as I know they're talking rubbish. I've had bland Thai food in Thailand, terrible pasta in Italy etc etc etc

Now stop being silly you old goat.
:hehe: You really are a complete Philistine - wd WES

[Ash]

Was going to say the same about Manchester, plenty of choice on Curry mile for instance. Our local is superb, do a wonderful Pathia

And Brum. I used to live in the Balti triangle itself.

(Not that it is authentic, of course, or even edible for corianderphobes but I'm told it was excellent)

[IUFG]

Excuse me for butting in on you food snobs.... try coming to Bradford for a decent curry and you will never complain again

We went for a fantastic curry in Bradford after a match up there. Cheap as ****, too. Loaded up the car with dishes to put in the freezer at home. Car smelled lovely.

Football content. Stuart ****ing McCall scored and then Ashley Cole equalised with his first Arsenal goal.
I didn't see the ball cross the line as I was at the back of the upper tier of that little, ****ty shed thing they had/have.

finished 1-1. against Bradford. FFS.

And there is absolutely **** all wrong with a British Indian restaurant curry.

[Luis Anaconda]

We went for a fantastic curry in Bradford after a match up there. Cheap as ****, too. Loaded up the car with dishes to put in the freezer at home. Car smelled lovely.

Football content. Stuart ****ing McCall scored and then Ashley Cole equalised with his first Arsenal goal.
I didn't see the ball cross the line as I was at the back of the upper tier of that little, ****ty shed thing they had/have.

finished 1-1. against Bradford. FFS.

And there is absolutely **** all wrong with a British Indian restaurant curry.
I was hobbling around the Millennium Dome that day - hungover as **** and with a busted ankle. Truly a **** day - though at least we didn't lose as on the other occasion we went there in the Premier League

[World's End Stella]

:hehe: You really are a complete Philistine - wd WES

No, Charles is just being an attention seeking food snob and you're just being a tw@t.

The best Italian food I have ever eaten was in NY, the best French food I've ever eaten was in London. I've had terrible French food all over France, I've been to HK about 10 times and never once had a Chinese meal there that particularly impressed me. I had an inedible pizza in Verona and boring pasta in Florence. The best Spanish food I've ever eaten was in, er, um, ok well Sevilla. But that's the exception that proves the rule.

And it makes sense that a particular cuisine would be available at a high level of quality all over the world given the global nature of our economy. Cooking isn't that hard, and you can now buy fresh ingredients from all over the world pretty much anywhere. Chefs move countries and take their expertise with them, food exporters increase the variety of products they support, immigration raises demand all over the place; there are a large number of reasons to expect that you no longer need to visit the country of origin in order to experience a particular cuisine at its finest.

And let's be honest, you know f*ck all about it. That's why you're happy living in Germany. :shrug:

[SWv2]

I am judging it for what it is. :shrug:

You are familiar with Spice Hut?

Do drop in next time, give me advance warning please.

[Sir C]

No, Charles is just being an attention seeking food snob and you're just being a tw@t.

The best Italian food I have ever eaten was in NY, the best French food I've ever eaten was in London. I've had terrible French food all over France, I've been to HK about 10 times and never once had a Chinese meal there that particularly impressed me. I had an inedible pizza in Verona and boring pasta in Florence. The best Spanish food I've ever eaten was in, er, um, ok well Sevilla. But that's the exception that proves the rule.

And it makes sense that a particular cuisine would be available at a high level of quality all over the world given the global nature of our economy. Cooking isn't that hard, and you can now buy fresh ingredients from all over the world pretty much anywhere. Chefs move countries and take their expertise with them, food exporters increase the variety of products they support, immigration raises demand all over the place; there are a large number of reasons to expect that you no longer need to visit the country of origin in order to experience a particular cuisine at its finest.

And let's be honest, you know f*ck all about it. That's why you're happy living in Germany. :shrug:

In short, you only like food cooked in London or NY.

Right.

[World's End Stella]

In short, you only like food cooked in London or NY.

Right.

Yeah right, that's exactly what that says. And nothing more. :rolleyes:

[Sir C]

Yeah right, that's exactly what that says. And nothing more. :rolleyes:

It says you don't like foreign muck. :shrug: That's fair enough, but it makes one wonder why you're engaging ina discussion about foreign food.

Do you know those filthy French fúckers put garlic in their food? Can you imagine! :yikes:

[World's End Stella]

It says you don't like foreign muck. :shrug: That's fair enough, but it makes one wonder why you're engaging ina discussion about foreign food.

Do you know those filthy French fúckers put garlic in their food? Can you imagine! :yikes:

No, it doesn't say that at all but I can't be bothered correcting you. :yawn:

You just keep telling yourself (and everyone else that will listen to you) that you know good food soooooo much better than everyone else because you're just such an awfully cool world traveler unlike the rest of us.

Many of the rest of us know it's nonsense so I guess it doesn't really do any harm and it seems to keep you happy so dig in. :thumbup:

[Ash]

It says you don't like foreign muck. :shrug:

I didn't think he said that, if I may say so. I think he said that in the modern economy chefs and ingredients can move around the world allowing effective preparation of specific cuisines to be no longer dependant on local geographical parameters.

[Luis Anaconda]

In short, you only like food cooked in London or NY.

Right.

And the United Arab Emirates - he loves it there, too. But then that's probably just a classic case of the bland feeding the bland

[Luis Anaconda]

No, Charles is just being an attention seeking food snob and you're just being a tw@t.

The best Italian food I have ever eaten was in NY, the best French food I've ever eaten was in London. I've had terrible French food all over France, I've been to HK about 10 times and never once had a Chinese meal there that particularly impressed me. I had an inedible pizza in Verona and boring pasta in Florence. The best Spanish food I've ever eaten was in, er, um, ok well Sevilla. But that's the exception that proves the rule.

And it makes sense that a particular cuisine would be available at a high level of quality all over the world given the global nature of our economy. Cooking isn't that hard, and you can now buy fresh ingredients from all over the world pretty much anywhere. Chefs move countries and take their expertise with them, food exporters increase the variety of products they support, immigration raises demand all over the place; there are a large number of reasons to expect that you no longer need to visit the country of origin in order to experience a particular cuisine at its finest.

And let's be honest, you know f*ck all about it. That's why you're happy living in Germany. :shrug:

I'm going to need a bigger boat :)

[Peter]

I didn't think he said that, if I may say so. I think he said that in the modern economy chefs and ingredients can move around the world allowing effective preparation of specific cuisines to be no longer dependant on local geographical parameters.

He said that anyone who insists that you can only truly experience a cuisine if you go to its home country is a complete ****, and he is right.

For example, chinese food. There is actually no such thing. China has a million different cuisines and they differ hugely. Most uk places offer a *******ised version of it, with red gloop. But some dont- some do a few dishes very ****ing well indeed.

I have been to India three times, to five different cities. The food is often good but it isnt really any better than the places I used to eat in Palmers Green, where I knew the owners. Some of the vegetable dishes are better because there is an actual demand for them. The meat and fish are generally terrible quality. The breads are better.....

In short, Sir C is talking complete crap.