Today is so bloody slow

[Pat Vegas]

I hate this time of year.

Every single day is assigned with some extra tasks or social activities that end up costing me money.

not worth it imo.

[PSRB]

I hate this time of year.

Every single day is assigned with some extra tasks or social activities that end up costing me money.

not worth it imo.

Yep, had the big Manchester Media party last night, feel hanging

[Pat Vegas]

Yep, had the big Manchester Media party last night, feel hanging

Also we have lots of visitors in the office and bringing gifts,
next week is wear a jumper you'll never wear until the next year and give money to charity day then secret santa after way.

apart from that every bloody evening and weekend is assigned to something. :banghead: I expecting a dishwasher to be delivered.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Be careful at the office Christmas Party Pat
That mad woman who fancies you might make her move
It will be like Tim and Dawn in reverse

[Pat Vegas]

Be careful at the office Christmas Party Pat
That mad woman who fancies you might make her move
It will be like Tim and Dawn in reverse

I had my party last weekend.

she wanted to have a chat and started crying :-(

[Sir C]

I had my party last weekend.

she wanted to have a chat and started crying :-(

Have you not banged it yet?

A gentleman always fulfills his duty, f.

[Pat Vegas]

Have you not banged it yet?

A gentleman always fulfills his duty, f.

No way Sir C.
These women throwing themselves at me can get ****ed. :rubchin:
It keeps happening lately.

They were not around when I was single. bugger off imo.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

OK Pat

What was the disturbed lady sobbing about ?
Have you been leading her on hmmmm ?

[Pat Vegas]

OK Pat

What was the disturbed lady sobbing about ?
Have you been leading her on hmmmm ?

about how terrible blokes are and how nice I am.

leading her on absolutely not. obviously drink was involved in this behaviour of hers.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

So she didn't make a grab for you
That is a relief

Being a woman I think she is attracted to your scent
You should change your aftershave and use Lynx for a week or two to shake her off

[Burney]

about how terrible blokes are and how nice I am.

leading her on absolutely not. obviously drink was involved in this behaviour of hers.

Just tell her you've got a tiny penîs and are terrible in bed, f. That should put her off.

Also, that way, you don't even have to lie. :thumbup:

[Pat Vegas]

So she didn't make a grab for you
That is a relief

Being a woman I think she is attracted to your scent
You should change your aftershave and use Lynx for a week or two to shake her off

she wanted to dance,
I have become partial to cheap aftershaves, I currently am using Mennen something I can not find in this country.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

You could do thon Pulp Fiction dance with her
:music: You Never Can Tell :music:

[IUFG]

Also we have lots of visitors in the office and bringing gifts,
next week is wear a jumper you'll never wear until the next year and give money to charity day then secret santa after way.

Secret Santa?

I've got this for my person..

http://bit.ly/2j2SGHk

sort of cuts both ways...

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Is she in the office now ?
Looking lasciviously at you from across the room ?

[IUFG]

Is she in the office now ?
Looking lasciviously at you from across the room ?

'kinell. you'll be asking what is she wearing next...

[Viva Prat Vegas]

What is she wearing ?

[Pat Vegas]

Is she in the office now ?
Looking lasciviously at you from across the room ?

yes she moved desks and stares at me most of the day if i happen to look that way she winks.

on the plus side she makes me coffees and offers me chocolates.

she also showed me online what arsenal underwear she will buy.

:-(

[Viva Prat Vegas]

She sounds ideal!

Change of plan F - Go for her and ditch Mrs F
Besides you must be sick of all that pasta

[Burney]

yes she moved desks and stares at me most of the day if i happen to look that way she winks.

on the plus side she makes me coffees and offers me chocolates.

she also showed me online what arsenal underwear she will buy.

:-(

Arsenal underwear? Presumably, it is leetle beet short feesically and falls apart under pressure?

[IUFG]

Arsenal underwear? Presumably, it is leetle beet short feesically and falls apart under pressure?

very good, b.

also, full of ****s...

[Pat Vegas]

Arsenal underwear? Presumably, it is leetle beet short feesically and falls apart under pressure?

I give up Burney. I am in a very weird way.

[Burney]

I give up Burney. I am in a very weird way.

You need to keep your guard up at all times, f. I speak from experience when I say that, while being pursued by a work colleague is tiresome, it's all too easy to get pïssed and knob her by accident. After all, it's flattering and we all like to be fancied. However, it is invariably a mistake.

I once made this mistake with a married woman in my office. After I accidentally slept with her and then tried to let her down gently (i.e. ignored her and hoped she went away), she took to coming into work in increasingly revealing clothes to attract my attention, getting proprietorial whenever she saw me talking to any more attractive female colleagues and generally continuing to pursue me.

That was a very weird period in my life. :-( I wouldn't recommend it.

[Pat Vegas]

You need to keep your guard up at all times, f. I speak from experience when I say that, while being pursued by a work colleague is tiresome, it's all too easy to get pïssed and knob her by accident. After all, it's flattering and we all like to be fancied. However, it is invariably a mistake.

I once made this mistake with a married woman in my office. After I accidentally slept with her and then tried to let her down gently (i.e. ignored her and hoped she went away), she took to coming into work in increasingly revealing clothes to attract my attention, getting proprietorial whenever she saw me talking to any more attractive female colleagues and generally continuing to pursue me.

That was a very weird period in my life. :-( I wouldn't recommend it.

I don't intend on doing anything, It's a bit fun ego boost at the beginning but it gets quite tiring.
I tried to be an arse that didn't work so I just play along within reason. she's calmed down a bit though.

[Sir C]

I don't intend on doing anything, It's a bit fun ego boost at the beginning but it gets quite tiring.
I tried to be an arse that didn't work so I just play along within reason. she's calmed down a bit though.

Bear in mind that if she's desperate enough she may be prepared to indulge some of your more, shall we say 'peculiar' requests.

You won't get too many more opportunities to explore the outer regions of sexuality, human decency and basic hygiene.

[Burney]

I don't intend on doing anything, It's a bit fun ego boost at the beginning but it gets quite tiring.
I tried to be an arse that didn't work so I just play along within reason. she's calmed down a bit though.

That's what you think, but all it takes is for you to get blind drunk, fancy a fumble and before you know it, you're anally penetrating a married mother of two in a Manchester hotel bedroom :-(

[Viva Prat Vegas]

There
Sir C has given you the green light and lets face it
You do lack a green light

[PSRB]

That's what you think, but all it takes is for you to get blind drunk, fancy a fumble and before you know it, you're anally penetrating a married mother of two in a Manchester hotel bedroom :-(

The bitch :cry:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Burney "That's what you think, but all it takes is for you to get blind drunk, fancy a fumble and before you know it, you're anally penetrating a married mother of two in a Manchester hotel bedroom"

Was that the one with the missing front tooth or the lady who looked best with the lights off (and the curtains drawn) ?

[Burney]

Burney "That's what you think, but all it takes is for you to get blind drunk, fancy a fumble and before you know it, you're anally penetrating a married mother of two in a Manchester hotel bedroom"

Was that the one with the missing front tooth or the lady who looked best with the lights off (and the curtains drawn) ?

Oh, no. This was nearly 20 years after that incident.

Apparently, I don't learn so good.

[Burney]

The bitch :cry:

:hehe: Actually, it was one of the upper floor rooms in the Deansgate Hilton. Quite fancy, really.

I hope they cleaned it thoroughly. :-(

[PSRB]

:hehe: Actually, it was one of the upper floor rooms in the Deansgate Hilton. Quite fancy, really.

I hope they cleaned it thoroughly. :-(

I was there last night for this media do......the food was ****ing awful

[Burney]

I was there last night for this media do......the food was ****ing awful

Oh, I don't remember any food. I remember too much scotch and cocaine.

Who would have thought that combination might have led to bad choices, eh? :hehe:

[Peter]

Oh, I don't remember any food. I remember too much scotch and cocaine.

Who would have thought that combination might have led to bad choices, eh? :hehe:

Hmmm.... three posts ago it was an accident, now it was a bad choice.

You are going to fall apart in court, b.....

[Burney]

Hmmm.... three posts ago it was an accident, now it was a bad choice.

You are going to fall apart in court, b.....

Well, I think 'accidental' is a term that is open to a great deal of interpretation, p. I certainly had no intent of doing what I did that evening...right up to the point where I did.

That's as near being an accident as makes no difference imo. :shrug:

[Sir C]

Well, I think 'accidental' is a term that is open to a great deal of interpretation, p. I certainly had no intent of doing what I did that evening...right up to the point where I did.

That's as near being an accident as makes no difference imo. :shrug:

Your judgement was affected by alcohol and narcotics? You were incapable of giving consent?

You've been raped :-(

[TheCurly]

Well, I think 'accidental' is a term that is open to a great deal of interpretation, p. I certainly had no intent of doing what I did that evening...right up to the point where I did.

That's as near being an accident as makes no difference imo. :shrug:

Pissed as a fart so I'm guessing it took you at least 15 minutes to take her bra off.Plenty of time to reconsider your foolishness :judge: Take him down

[Sir C]

Pissed as a fart so I'm guessing it took you at least 15 minutes to take her bra off.Plenty of time to reconsider your foolishness :judge: Take him down

Take her bra off? Get you, you old romantic.

[Burney]

Your judgement was affected by alcohol and narcotics? You were incapable of giving consent?

You've been raped :-(

:nod: Reverse bum-raped. The worst kind. :cry:

[TheCurly]

Take her bra off? Get you, you old romantic.

:nod: Like David Niven to Berni's Errol Flynn

[Burney]

Pissed as a fart so I'm guessing it took you at least 15 minutes to take her bra off.Plenty of time to reconsider your foolishness :judge: Take him down

Oh, I didn't even try anything that complex. I left that sort of thing up to her. After all, she was doing all the running, why should I bother my arse removing her clothes?

[Peter]

Your judgement was affected by alcohol and narcotics? You were incapable of giving consent?

You've been raped :-(


Rape requires penetration...so unless b is not telling us something.....

[Peter]

Oh, I didn't even try anything that complex. I left that sort of thing up to her. After all, she was doing all the running, why should I bother my arse removing her clothes?

Why indeed, when you wer busy bothering her arse....

Did you HAVE to go anal? That is just taking the piss.....

[Sir C]

Rape requires penetration...so unless b is not telling us something.....

Oh there was penetration, alright. She got well penetrated.

Doesn't change the fact that he couldn't consent to penetrate, does it?

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Burney " Reverse bum-raped. The worst kind. "

Tell the court that while you were just laying there and minding your own business she sat on it

[Peter]

Well, I think 'accidental' is a term that is open to a great deal of interpretation, p. I certainly had no intent of doing what I did that evening...right up to the point where I did.

That's as near being an accident as makes no difference imo. :shrug:

I dont think you can accidentally **** someone. You can hit the wrong entrance, I suppose....

[Peter]

Oh there was penetration, alright. She got well penetrated.

Doesn't change the fact that he couldn't consent to penetrate, does it?

To be raped, one must be penetrated. Penetrating makes one the rapist.

This is the problem isnt it. A pissed man and woman have sex. Neither is capable of consenting. By law, the man is a rapist and the woman the victim.

Seems a little unfair doesnt it.....

[Burney]

Why indeed, when you wer busy bothering her arse....

Did you HAVE to go anal? That is just taking the piss.....

She was insistent on it. She'd spent most of the evening telling me how much she liked it. You don't look a gift arse in the mouth imo :shrug:

[Burney]

I dont think you can accidentally **** someone. You can hit the wrong entrance, I suppose....

It certainly felt quite accidental the next day. :shrug:

[Burney]

To be raped, one must be penetrated. Penetrating makes one the rapist.

This is the problem isnt it. A pissed man and woman have sex. Neither is capable of consenting. By law, the man is a rapist and the woman the victim.

Seems a little unfair doesnt it.....

So much for male privilege, eh, p? Tsk.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Peter "To be raped, one must be penetrated. Penetrating makes one the rapist. "

It depends on who was active and who just lay there thinking of England
Burney had the woman forcing herself on his prone lithsome body so he can go free in a landmark case

[Peter]

So much for male privilege, eh, p? Tsk.

It makes all of us rapists, b. :(

[Sir C]

Peter "To be raped, one must be penetrated. Penetrating makes one the rapist. "

It depends on who was active and who just lay there thinking of England
Burney had the woman forcing herself on his prone lithsome body so he can go free in a landmark case

There are many ways of describing b but 'lithsome' isn't really appropriate. Unless it means pasty?

[Peter]

She was insistent on it. She'd spent most of the evening telling me how much she liked it. You don't look a gift arse in the mouth imo :shrug:

Ok. I am suspicious of your recollection here but if this is true it is fair enough.

I must confess, I am not a fan myself.....

[Sir C]

Ok. I am suspicious of your recollection here but if this is true it is fair enough.

I must confess, I am not a fan myself.....

I know, last time you didn't walk right for a week, amiright?

[Viva Prat Vegas]

When it comes down to bedpost notches I think of Burney as the Tom Jones of AWIMB
Or Tony Blackburn

[Peter]

There are many ways of describing b but 'lithsome' isn't really appropriate. Unless it means pasty?

He ****ed her up the arse.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Or Frank Worthington

[Peter]

I know, last time you didn't walk right for a week, amiright?

I see what you did there. Here I am making a perfectly sensible point about not being overly keen on anal sex and you have to ruin it......

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Peter "He ****ed her up the arse."

She ****ed Burneys member with her arse

[Sir C]

He ****ed her up the arse.

I like to think of it as fundamental love, p.

[Peter]

Peter "To be raped, one must be penetrated. Penetrating makes one the rapist. "

It depends on who was active and who just lay there thinking of England
Burney had the woman forcing herself on his prone lithsome body so he can go free in a landmark case

Its not the offside rule....you cant **** someone up the arse and not be 'active'

[Burney]

Ok. I am suspicious of your recollection here but if this is true it is fair enough.

I must confess, I am not a fan myself.....

Nor I, particularly, but there we are. In the moment and all that.

[Peter]

Nor I, particularly, but there we are. In the moment and all that.

Of course. You can only **** what is in front of you....