There's something living behind my wainscoting.

[Sir C]

A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

:-(

[Burney]

A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

:-(

Send your cats in after the fùcker.

You could just be going mad, of course.

[Sir C]

Send your cats in after the fùcker.

You could just be going mad, of course.

They approach the wall when the noises start, have a sniff, then shít themselves and run away.

It's a big fúcker, b.

[Burney]

They approach the wall when the noises start, have a sniff, then shít themselves and run away.

It's a big fúcker, b.

You can’t have a badger in the walls. That’s just not possible. Could it be bunnies?

[Ash]

They approach the wall when the noises start, have a sniff, then shít themselves and run away.

It's a big fúcker, b.

I think you should buy a gun. And loads of ammo. Also two weeks of food and water. Make that 30 days.

[Sir C]

You can’t have a badger in the walls. That’s just not possible. Could it be bunnies?

If it's bunnies it's bunnies with emphysema. I can hear the bastárd breathing!

At the weekend I'm going to have to crawl into the void under the kitchen and investigate. :-(

[Sir C]

I think you should buy a gun. And loads of ammo. Also two weeks of food and water. Make that 30 days.

I wish the creature no harm, a. But I already have a gun, plenty of ammunition, and food for 3 months. Just in case #corbyn

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

:-(

hapless maid you ever deflowered, every blameless youth you sodomized, every simple, hard working man you swindled.

It will indeed burst forth and exact a terrible retribution.

[Luis Anaconda]

hapless maid you ever deflowered, every blameless youth you sodomized, every simple, hard working man you swindled.

It will indeed burst forth and exact a terrible retribution.

ffs Herb - if you are going to use the word in every single post can you at least spell it properly - sodomised. You are not some Yank upstart

[Peter]

ffs Herb - if you are going to use the word in every single post can you at least spell it properly - sodomised. You are not some Yank upstart

I dont know what wainscoting is :(

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

ffs Herb - if you are going to use the word in every single post can you at least spell it properly - sodomised. You are not some Yank upstart

I'm afraid I agree with the yanqi on this one L. It is spoken with a 'Z' sound not an 'S'.

[SWv2]

A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

:-(

You see I thought you meant waistcoat, because you are the type to wear a waistcoat.

Waiters, snooker players and Dutch Irish motor trade spivs.

[IUFG]

I dont know what wainscoting is :(

wood paneling.

for those who cant afford to wood panel the entire wall.

[Luis Anaconda]

I'm afraid I agree with the yanqi on this one L. It is spoken with a 'Z' sound not an 'S'.
erm - no, it's pronounced the same whether it's -ised or ized, so it is of course -ised.

[Sir C]

You see I thought you meant waistcoat, because you are the type to wear a waistcoat.

Waiters, snooker players and Dutch Irish motor trade spivs.

Also lesbian grans.

818

[Ash]

Also lesbian grans.

818

Oh, I say. Good areas, Shane.

[TheCurly]

A few months ago I could hear it occasionally nibbling away, and assumed it was a mouse. After a while, I could hear it walking, and assumed it was a rat.

Now I can hear the fúcker breathing. At the very minimum it's a fox, and quite possibly a badger. One day it's going to burst forth and attack me while I'm watching Masterchef, isn't it?

:-(

I saw a badger in Wales once.I thought it was just a fat cat.
I had taken a drink in my defence

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

erm - no, it's pronounced the same whether it's -ised or ized, so it is of course -ised.

Or in your case - shodomished ...hic!

[Burney]

If it's bunnies it's bunnies with emphysema. I can hear the bastárd breathing!

At the weekend I'm going to have to crawl into the void under the kitchen and investigate. :-(

It’ll be like when you were a tunnel rat back in the ‘Nam imo

[TheCurly]

It’ll be like when you were a tunnel rat back in the ‘Nam imo

I'd say he needs an exorcism,it's obviously an evil spirit that will kill him eventually.

[Burney]

I'd say he needs an exorcism,it's obviously an evil spirit that will kill him eventually.

I’d say it’s DTs brought on by the lack of drink. He’ll be tearing at his skin thinking he’s covered with insects next.

[Luis Anaconda]

Or in your case - shodomished ...hic!

Touché, herb

[SWv2]

Also lesbian grans.

818

You are fully aware that I am not obliged, nor do I feel the need, to support and defend the great PW on all he does.

My point is still valid.

Cowboy boots, waistcoats, hair dye. That's you that is.

[Peter]

You are fully aware that I am not obliged, nor do I feel the need, to support and defend the great PW on all he does.

My point is still valid.

Cowboy boots, waistcoats, hair dye. That's you that is.

Springsteen has been known to wear one.

I dont approve.

[Sir C]

Springsteen has been known to wear one.

I dont approve.

No shít? And you're usually such a generous-spirited, pisitive sort of fellow.

[Sir C]

You are fully aware that I am not obliged, nor do I feel the need, to support and defend the great PW on all he does.

My point is still valid.

Cowboy boots, waistcoats, hair dye. That's you that is.

More stylish than your wellies, though.

Top tip: cut the bit of string connecting them and you'll be able to take longer strides. :thumbup:

[Sir C]

Oh, I say. Good areas, Shane.

It's the classic 'battle of wits with an unarmed man' scenario, a.

[Peter]

No shít? And you're usually such a generous-spirited, pisitive sort of fellow.

I am, actually. Generosity of spirit is my middle name.

[Burney]

I am, actually. Generosity of spirit is my middle name.

Hmmm. Hippy parents, was it? :-(

[SWv2]

More stylish than your wellies, though.

Top tip: cut the bit of string connecting them and you'll be able to take longer strides. :thumbup:

Racist stereotyping and abuse.

For shame.

[Sir C]

I am, actually. Generosity of spirit is my middle name.

Would you say that if you attended, say, a sporting event, the result of which was not to your satisfaction, you would:

1. Enjoy the event for the spectacle anyway.
2. Find and concentrate on the positive lements of your team's display.
3. Moan and bitch like a jewish cab driver left untipped by a schwartze.

[Burney]

Would you say that if you attended, say, a sporting event, the result of which was not to your satisfaction, you would:

1. Enjoy the event for the spectacle anyway.
2. Find and concentrate on the positive lements of your team's display.
3. Moan and bitch like a jewish cab driver left untipped by a schwartze.

Surely all Jewish men are left untipped? :cooper:

[Peter]

Hmmm. Hippy parents, was it? :-(

They were, yes. They still had jobs though.

I see nothing there that would meet your disapproval. In fact my dad is rather right wing and has been a consistent and ardent opponent of the EU for as long as we have been members.

Obviously the maternal side of my family were and are raging commies but lets not focus on that.

[Peter]

Would you say that if you attended, say, a sporting event, the result of which was not to your satisfaction, you would:

1. Enjoy the event for the spectacle anyway.
2. Find and concentrate on the positive lements of your team's display.
3. Moan and bitch like a jewish cab driver left untipped by a schwartze.

None of the above.

[Burney]

They were, yes. They still had jobs though.

I see nothing there that would meet your disapproval. In fact my dad is rather right wing and has been a consistent and ardent opponent of the EU for as long as we have been members.

Obviously the maternal side of my family were and are raging commies but lets not focus on that.

Well it’s nice that you chose the perfect middle path of being a red Tory, p :thumbup:

[Peter]

Well it’s nice that you chose the perfect middle path of being a red Tory, p :thumbup:

I shall let that go, through gritted teeth.....

[Burney]

I shall let that go, through gritted teeth.....

:hehe: A tap-in, I’m afraid.

[Peter]

:hehe: A tap-in, I’m afraid.

Labels dont bother me. All I care about is getting the best deal for Britain :)

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Would you say that if you attended, say, a sporting event, the result of which was not to your satisfaction, you would:

1. Enjoy the event for the spectacle anyway.
2. Find and concentrate on the positive lements of your team's display.
3. Moan and bitch like a jewish cab driver left untipped by a schwartze.

tripped you.

[Sir C]

tripped you.

I note without surprise that you don't understand the difference between German and Yiddish. You dare to lecture me, a man with 8 languages at his disposal, on the niceties of speelling and pronunciation? You monoglot peasant, I should have you thrashed.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I note without surprise that you don't understand the difference between German and Yiddish. You dare to lecture me, a man with 8 languages at his disposal, on the niceties of speelling and pronunciation? You monoglot peasant, I should have you thrashed.

Well done c. You've been boastful without once mentioning your pilot's licence.

[Sir C]

Well done c. You've been boastful without once mentioning your pilot's licence.

Well, I was going to tell you about how I gained a working knowledge of Russian when training with Nikolai Mamistov, but realised that the depths of your ignorance are so extreme, you've probably never even heard of Nikolai Mamistov! :hehe:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

He was that Russian with the tache who infected Kenny Everett in the 80s

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

. . . . . . . .

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Well, I was going to tell you about how I gained a working knowledge of Russian when training with Nikolai Mamistov, but realised that the depths of your ignorance are so extreme, you've probably never even heard of Nikolai Mamistov! :hehe:

Good friend of my cousin c - the one who flew Tornados*

Anyway, russian's a piece of píss - write b and r the wrong way round a wack 'ski' on the end of everything

*possibly an outright lie

[redgunamo]

Racist stereotyping and abuse.

For shame.

Not at all. Any man who doesn't own several decent pairs of wellies can never be a real man, imo.