Just started my cardio risk stuff and slipped a £20 note in the phlebotmist's

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

coat pocket with the promise of "another one of those for you if my result is lower than 4.1% ." I explained that if it were any higher I would have to endure the tiresome crowing of a frightful old boar on my football message board.

Actually, she had to have two goes to get the blood and the one which failed has become swollen and rather painful. An enormous blood clot is about to detach and finish me off isn't it? :-(

[Sir C]

coat pocket with the promise of "another one of those for you if my result is lower than 4.1% ." I explained that if it were any higher I would have to endure the tiresome crowing of a frightful old boar on my football message board.

Actually, she had to have two goes to get the blood and the one which failed has become swollen and rather painful. An enormous blood clot is about to detach and finish me off isn't it? :-(

To be honest, given that you've spent a lifetime up to your neck in human excrement, it's a miracle you've lived this long.

I suspect you'll have a good score, h. A good, ordinary person's score, of 5 or 6%.

[Burney]

coat pocket with the promise of "another one of those for you if my result is lower than 4.1% ." I explained that if it were any higher I would have to endure the tiresome crowing of a frightful old boar on my football message board.

Actually, she had to have two goes to get the blood and the one which failed has become swollen and rather painful. An enormous blood clot is about to detach and finish me off isn't it? :-(

I’ve always found the term ‘phlebotomist’ rather distasteful. I think it’s the combination of the ‘phle’ of ‘phlegm’ and ‘bottomist’. It makes me think of someone flobbing into someone’s ring piece.

[Pokster]

I’ve always found the term ‘phlebotomist’ rather distasteful. I think it’s the combination of the ‘phle’ of ‘phlegm’ and ‘bottomist’. It makes me think of someone flobbing into someone’s ring piece.

To be fair, you think about flobbing on someone's ring piece a lot :nod: #wrongun

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

To be honest, given that you've spent a lifetime up to your neck in human excrement, it's a miracle you've lived this long.

I suspect you'll have a good score, h. A good, ordinary person's score, of 5 or 6%.

Were you required to undergo an ECG c? My GP, a normally rather cheerful fellow, after listening to the old pump with his stethoscope seemed to become a little distant and told me to book an ECG via his secretary on my way out.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

To be fair, you think about flobbing on someone's ring piece a lot :nod: #wrongun

To be fair it is a splendid way to lube one's victim p. Unless it's your mum who always has copious amounts of spare fanny fat slooshing around down there when I sodomize her.

[Sir C]

Were you required to undergo an ECG c? My GP, a normally rather cheerful fellow, after listening to the old pump with his stethoscope seemed to become a little distant and told me to book an ECG via his secretary on my way out.

I have to have ECGs every 6 months for my aviation medical, h. They always show this strange anomaly, where occasionally a blip which should go up actually goes down. They always frown and shake their heads and then mutter about it probably not mattering.

[Pokster]

To be fair it is a splendid way to lube one's victim p. Unless it's your mum who always has copious amounts of spare fanny fat slooshing around down there when I sodomize her.

I would suggest that it certainly isn't fanny fat after nearly 30 years underground (I must let her out at some stage)

[Burney]

To be fair it is a splendid way to lube one's victim p. Unless it's your mum who always has copious amounts of spare fanny fat slooshing around down there when I sodomize her.

Yes, but a gentleman spits in his hand first and then applies it to the ringpiece. To spit directly onto the ringpiece is poor form imo

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

You don't suppose the sly old bird has been slapping a bit of KY down there to ease to passage of my stupendous member p?

[Pokster]

Yes, but a gentleman spits in his hand first and then applies it to the ringpiece. To spit directly onto the ringpiece is poor form imo

Only seen in Porn films i would guess

[Pokster]

You don't suppose the sly old bird has been slapping a bit of KY down there to ease to passage of my stupendous member p?

Well I heard you were a big cock so now I know why you get called that

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Well I heard you were a big cock so now I know why you get called that

:sigh: we're on mum jokes you feather-wit!

[Pokster]

:sigh: we're on mum jokes you feather-wit!

Well we've all been on your mum

is that better

[Viva Prat Vegas]

To be honest, given that you've spent a lifetime up to your neck in human excrement, it's a miracle you've lived this long.

I suspect you'll have a good score, h. A good, ordinary person's score, of 5 or 6%.

I think Herbert dreams about you

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I have to have ECGs every 6 months for my aviation medical, h. They always show this strange anomaly, where occasionally a blip which should go up actually goes down. They always frown and shake their heads and then mutter about it probably not mattering.

Oh the occupational ECG's well yes, of course, I have one every two months for my work as a high speed motorcycle stunt man - can't have us popping a biggy and ploughing into the heaving crowd now can we!