So, I've had my cardiovascular risk assessment.

[Sir C]

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

[Burney]

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

What about cancer?

[Sir C]

What about cancer?

That's not included in the cardiovascular risk assessment. However, since I no longer smoke, I believe my chances of catching the cancer are one in a million.

[Burney]

That's not included in the cardiovascular risk assessment. However, since I no longer smoke, I believe my chances of catching the cancer are one in a million.

:hehe: It's true. The cankers run away in terror the minute one stops smoking. The previous 40-odd years of self abuse are simply e
wiped clean the minute one stops.

[Sir C]

:hehe: It's true. The cankers run away in terror the minute one stops smoking. The previous 40-odd years of self abuse are simply e
wiped clean the minute one stops.

Yes, that's what I thought. I'm also pretty certain that my heart remains unaffected by 30 years of cocaine abuse.

[Burney]

Yes, that's what I thought. I'm also pretty certain that my heart remains unaffected by 30 years of cocaine abuse.

I don't think you ever 'abused' it, did you? You always seemed to treat it rather well.

[SWv2]

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

I would say that result is wrong.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

throw me in the skip :-(

[Burney]

I would say that result is wrong.

Who was that chap on here who rather brought the mood down by telling us he was going to have a fatal clutcher at any minute?

[Sir C]

throw me in the skip :-(

The answer lies within you, h. You can choose to live clean.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Dismalswamp ?

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

The answer lies within you, h. You can choose to live clean.

It just 'feels' like my old strawberry is about to pop c. Perhaps it is just this sad sad life has left it broken :cry:

[Burney]

Dismalswamp ?

No. Egg and dart, I think his name was. He was a bit of a Wengeraht merchant, as I recall, but even so I felt a bit sorry for the chap. Must be dreadful walking around waiting for your fatal event. I think I'd almost prefer a terminal cancer diagnosis to that sort of torture.

[Burney]

It just 'feels' like my old strawberry is about to pop c. Perhaps it is just this sad sad life has left it broken :cry:

It's Nigella's weight loss that's done it to you, isn't it, h? :-(

I'm sure there are more hefty, raven-haired, late middle-aged jewish mothers out there for you.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I even wrote her an opus b :cry:

[Burney]

I even wrote her an opus b :cry:

Yes. I remember. It was very...ummm...'graphic'.