I just saw two tiny children running along the pavement, all alone.

[Sir C]

Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? :-( Fat child-losing cow.

[SWv2]

Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? :-( Fat child-losing cow.

Pardon?

..

[Sir C]

Pardon?

..

Rolf. A famous British/Australian fiddler.

[SWv2]

Rolf. A famous British/Australian fiddler.

Was he not innocent?

I can't keep up with all these cases anymore. Or was it Cliff Richard.

[Sir C]

Was he not innocent?

I can't keep up with all these cases anymore. Or was it Cliff Richard.

He was innocent, but only of the Bostons stranglings.

Cliff, on the other hand, was as pure as the driven snow.

[Peter]

Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? :-( Fat child-losing cow.

She will certainly have reported the incident but I imagine it will proceed as a civil suit for damages. The police are unlikely to want to pursue it without evidence, although naturally you will have to attend for interview. Answer no comment to every question- on no account say anything else.

THen lawyer up and hope for the best. It might be worth coming out as gay or disabled (ideally both) in the meantime. It can only help.

Good luck!

[Burney]

Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? :-( Fat child-losing cow.

I think you're OK as long as you on no account touched them, at which point it would be Nonce O'Clock.

I've never considered that aspect of morbid obesity - that one is too fat to be able to catch one's children if they run away.

[Sir C]

She will certainly have reported the incident but I imagine it will proceed as a civil suit for damages. The police are unlikely to want to pursue it without evidence, although naturally you will have to attend for interview. Answer no comment to every question- on no account say anything else.

THen lawyer up and hope for the best. It might be worth coming out as gay or disabled (ideally both) in the meantime. It can only help.

Good luck!

Wait, what if I agree to a series of public self-denunciations and self-criticisms, do you think I might be spared the re-education camp?

[Sir C]

I think you're OK as long as you on no account touched them, at which point it would be Nonce O'Clock.

I've never considered that aspect of morbid obesity - that one is too fat to be able to catch one's children if they run away.

They were escapees from Nexus, for Christ's sake. The fat cow was a chasing staff member.

[Burney]

They were escapees from Nexus, for Christ's sake. The fat cow was a chasing staff member.

That would be the same Nexus to which I used to entrust the safety of my daughter at not inconsiderable expense? :-\

There isn't even a proper pavement there, is there?

[Sir C]

That would be the same Nexus to which I used to entrust the safety of my daughter at not inconsiderable expense? :-\

There isn't even a proper pavement there, is there?

Exactly. That was my main concern, that they'd totter into the road. It does seem odd that shey should be allowed to escape.

[Burney]

That would be the same Nexus to which I used to entrust the safety of my daughter at not inconsiderable expense? :-\

There isn't even a proper pavement there, is there?

Hang on. I'm thinking of Twixus. What's Nexus?

[Sir C]

Hang on. I'm thinking of Twixus. What's Nexus?

That's what I mean. Twixus, that's it.

[SWv2]

That's what I mean. Twixus, that's it.

Why are you hanging around a creche?

[Sir C]

Why are you hanging around a creche?

Target-rich environment, sw.

[Burney]

That's what I mean. Twixus, that's it.

Oh, well. You have done your good deed for the day. And E survived the place, so I don't really care if they kill other people's kids.

[Sir C]

Oh, well. You have done your good deed for the day. And E survived the place, so I don't really care if they kill other people's kids.

Most importantly, I'm 50 minutes from a glass of wine. :lager:

[Burney]

Most importantly, I'm 50 minutes from a glass of wine. :lager:

Ah, well. For all that you're now going all straight-edge, my daughter seems to be taking up the slack on behalf of the younger generation. :rolleyes:

[Sir C]

Ah, well. For all that you're now going all straight-edge, my daughter seems to be taking up the slack on behalf of the younger generation. :rolleyes:

Is she getting fired in? First term away, all new and exciting I suppose.

[Burney]

Is she getting fired in? First term away, all new and exciting I suppose.

Yes. Rather too much. Let's just say that I had to have a rather stern word with her about the necessity of sleep and the inadvisability of excessive consumption.

[Sir C]

Yes. Rather too much. Let's just say that I had to have a rather stern word with her about the necessity of sleep and the inadvisability of excessive consumption.

:hehe: You being a chap who'd know about such matters, of course.

[Burney]

:hehe: You being a chap who'd know about such matters, of course.

Well, yes. Mind you, a four-day bender would have been pushing it for me even when I was her age.

[Sir C]

Well, yes. Mind you, a four-day bender would have been pushing it for me even when I was her age.

Ooh, that is stronging it.

wd e.

[Burney]

Ooh, that is stronging it.

wd e.

On one level, I'm quite impressed - on another, wholly terrified.