NightmareWIMB: In a car in a valley, with torrents of water pouring down ....

[Ash]

I was in a car in a valley, and torrents of water was pouring down into it. I was going to get flooded so I had to drive out of there, but the car had no power and was just going ‘phut-phut’ with a hole in it. It was Christmas, and I had to get to Brighton for lunch, but with the car gone I’d have to get public transport even though there wasn’t any, but I had to try, but I had to carry all the presents that I’d got people, and anyway, they were all at the old flat that I’d moved out of and it was already 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

Then I’ll wake up, and then I’ll try to get back to sleep to carry on the story and try to solve it all. No wonder part of me doesn’t really want to go to bed. :-|

[Peter]

I was in a car in a valley, and torrents of water was pouring down into it. I was going to get flooded so I had to drive out of there, but the car had no power and was just going ‘phut-phut’ with a hole in it. It was Christmas, and I had to get to Brighton for lunch, but with the car gone I’d have to get public transport even though there wasn’t any, but I had to try, but I had to carry all the presents that I’d got people, and anyway, they were all at the old flat that I’d moved out of and it was already 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

Then I’ll wake up, and then I’ll try to get back to sleep to carry on the story and try to solve it all. No wonder part of me doesn’t really want to go to bed. :-|


The obvious solution is to go to the pub and have a pint. The rest of it can just go and **** itself. Problem solved.

In my nightmares I am me. Then I wake up and realise its true

[Sir C]

I was in a car in a valley, and torrents of water was pouring down into it. I was going to get flooded so I had to drive out of there, but the car had no power and was just going ‘phut-phut’ with a hole in it. It was Christmas, and I had to get to Brighton for lunch, but with the car gone I’d have to get public transport even though there wasn’t any, but I had to try, but I had to carry all the presents that I’d got people, and anyway, they were all at the old flat that I’d moved out of and it was already 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

Then I’ll wake up, and then I’ll try to get back to sleep to carry on the story and try to solve it all. No wonder part of me doesn’t really want to go to bed. :-|

I wouldn't go to Brighton if I were you. It's full of bumders and, far worse, green types :-(

[Burney]

The obvious solution is to go to the pub and have a pint. The rest of it can just go and **** itself. Problem solved.

In my nightmares I am me. Then I wake up and realise its true

Christmas, though. Limited opening hours.

[Peter]

Christmas, though. Limited opening hours.

There is bound to be one open somewhere. It doesnt have to be an all day session. Just a couple of looseners.

[Ash]

In my nightmares I am me. Then I wake up and realise its true

Some of the people you work with sound quite nightmarish, from what you've told us.

[Ash]

I wouldn't go to Brighton if I were you. It's full of bumders and, far worse, green types :-(

When we played Brighton at home the other week there was a stern warning on the arse.com website about no homophobic chanting, and then the entire matchday experience seemed to be given over to a celebration of gay goonerdom, with rainbow adverts, gay guest at half-time and lingering camerashots on the gay gooners banner. All very nice of, course, but having such a spectacle on the day the seagulls were visiting did seem to play along with the stereotype, tbh.

I felt like starting a twitter account and tweeting my outrage to shame the club into a grovelling apology and confession. I understand that's how things work these days.

[Peter]

Some of the people you work with sound quite nightmarish, from what you've told us.

Nah....they are an annoyance but not much more. Of course, you expect a huge mass of lesbians to be pretty annoying.

I am in a spot of bother though. Having last week refused to include some meaningless data on equality and diversity in one of our key processes (because it is ****ing irrelevant) I have now been caught giggling at a report of someone being referred to as a 'screaming bender'.......

In my defence, the way it was reported was hilariously funny......

[Burney]

Nah....they are an annoyance but not much more. Of course, you expect a huge mass of lesbians to be pretty annoying.

I am in a spot of bother though. Having last week refused to include some meaningless data on equality and diversity in one of our key processes (because it is ****ing irrelevant) I have now been caught giggling at a report of someone being referred to as a 'screaming bender'.......

In my defence, the way it was reported was hilariously funny......

Is your place an LGBT safe space?

[SWv2]

I was in a car in a valley, and torrents of water was pouring down into it. I was going to get flooded so I had to drive out of there, but the car had no power and was just going ‘phut-phut’ with a hole in it. It was Christmas, and I had to get to Brighton for lunch, but with the car gone I’d have to get public transport even though there wasn’t any, but I had to try, but I had to carry all the presents that I’d got people, and anyway, they were all at the old flat that I’d moved out of and it was already 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

Then I’ll wake up, and then I’ll try to get back to sleep to carry on the story and try to solve it all. No wonder part of me doesn’t really want to go to bed. :-|

You probably should have had a pre-winter service done on the car.

[Peter]

Is your place an LGBT safe space?

Yes, very much so.

Obviously there are some people who still confuse it with the Local Government Pension Scheme but in the main we are very alert to the needs of benders, weirdos and the terminally confused.

[SWv2]

Yes, very much so.

Obviously there are some people who still confuse it with the Local Government Pension Scheme but in the main we are very alert to the needs of benders, weirdos and the terminally confused.

What does the term "LGBT Safe Space" mean?

We have a poof in our place. Sound bloke, gets dogs abuse naturally.

[Burney]

Yes, very much so.

Obviously there are some people who still confuse it with the Local Government Pension Scheme but in the main we are very alert to the needs of benders, weirdos and the terminally confused.

Yes. I was depressed to see a sign at my daughter's place claiming the same. I found myself struggling with a strong desire to yell transphobia at the top of my voice.

[Burney]

What does the term "LGBT Safe Space" mean?

We have a poof in our place. Sound bloke, gets dogs abuse naturally.

It means you have to pretend they're not weird.

[Peter]

What does the term "LGBT Safe Space" mean?

We have a poof in our place. Sound bloke, gets dogs abuse naturally.

In a safe space, your resident bum bandit would feel free to express himself and would be free from your hate crimes perpetrated under the guise of 'banter'.....

I believe it is what used to be referred to as a 'poof's parlour'......

[SWv2]

In a safe space, your resident bum bandit would feel free to express himself and would be free from your hate crimes perpetrated under the guise of 'banter'.....

I believe it is what used to be referred to as a 'poof's parlour'......

He was off work with a throat infection recently which was roundly put down to too muck cock sucking. This was done in a light hearted and non aggressive way and no offence was taken.

[Peter]

He was off work with a throat infection recently which was roundly put down to too muck cock sucking. This was done in a light hearted and non aggressive way and no offence was taken.

Solid grounds for dismissal in a 'safe space'.......

One of the difficulties is obviously that some gay men like to indulge in this kind of banter and innuendo. In a safe space you can ask them to stop it as it is making you uncomfortable. You will be labelled as a homophobe and will be interviewed by the Director of EDI to establish whether training is needed. However, you will be well within your rights.

[SWv2]

Solid grounds for dismissal in a 'safe space'.......

One of the difficulties is obviously that some gay men like to indulge in this kind of banter and innuendo. In a safe space you can ask them to stop it as it is making you uncomfortable. You will be labelled as a homophobe and will be interviewed by the Director of EDI to establish whether training is needed. However, you will be well within your rights.

What is EDI then?

[Peter]

What is EDI then?

Equality, diversity and inclusion......

Its all EDI round here. Non ****ing stop.

[Ash]

Equality, diversity and inclusion......

Its all EDI round here. Non ****ing stop.

Did you hear about the Apple Diversity Officer who suggested that diversity of thought was a good thing? Oooops. Big trouble. Needless to say she grovelled out an apology.

[Peter]

Did you hear about the Apple Diversity Officer who suggested that diversity of thought was a good thing? Oooops. Big trouble. Needless to say she grovelled out an apology.

You genuinely cant say anything. I objected to a 30 page report on supporting female students and helping them perform better on the grounds that we already know they perform better than male students. They said I was asking them to break the law. When I pointed out that the protected characteristic in law was gender, not women, and that a disparity in gender performance had to be investigated regardless of which gender was suffering I was labelled a misogynist.

bloody women :(

[Monty92]

When we played Brighton at home the other week there was a stern warning on the arse.com website about no homophobic chanting, and then the entire matchday experience seemed to be given over to a celebration of gay goonerdom, with rainbow adverts, gay guest at half-time and lingering camerashots on the gay gooners banner. All very nice of, course, but having such a spectacle on the day the seagulls were visiting did seem to play along with the stereotype, tbh.

I felt like starting a twitter account and tweeting my outrage to shame the club into a grovelling apology and confession. I understand that's how things work these days.

The unfortunate thing about the Gay Gooners banner is that it makes it look like everyone sitting behind it is in a designated Gay Enclosure.

[Ash]

The unfortunate thing about the Gay Gooners banner is that it makes it look like everyone sitting behind it is in a designated Gay Enclosure.

Yes. Maybe they can even catch Gay by being behind the banner. How Fabulous!