Tony C
09-08-2017, 11:45 AM
[..]
There is a good reason why the footballing world refers to Wenger as Le Professeur. His knowledge extends beyond the realms of just football, which means that he can offer pastoral support and development to his players on and off the pitch. However, when such support is not appreciated it becomes an act of betrayal, as you would expect. Wilshere encountered this first hand during the summer of 2016.
Arsene, as usual, was in his office after training analysing the Arsenal vs Liverpool game from 1999 to get a better understanding on how to prepare for the 2016-17 season opener. To his annoyance, he is interrupted by a knock on his door.
“Boss, are you free?” questions Wilshere.
“Look, uh, if it’s about that raise I told you we would increase your weekly wage from £80,000 a week to £80,220 a week” replies Wenger.
“No, boss, it’s about my performance. I’m quite unhappy about the way I---”
Wenger interrupts, “Look, football is a bit like sex you know”
“Boss, that is the problem. Ever since I had that knock on my left ankle, I can’t seem to **** her right. She isn’t willing to go on top either, so we’re left in a bit of mess. It’s doing my head in” exclaims Wilshere, whilst clutching his ankle in despair.
There is a moment of silence. Wenger turns his chair around and looks into the beautiful greenery of the London colony whilst sexual thoughts in his head start to intensify.
“Boss, are you listening?”
“uh, I was distracted” says Wenger, as he turns his chair back around. “I have two options for you”.
“Go on, boss” says Wilshere.
“The first option is a simple one. Just don’t have sex”
“what’s the second option boss?” replies an inquisitive Wilshere.
“You can let me take care of her until you recover” says Wenger.
“That’s *******s, boss!” says Wilshere, “have you not heard of the ‘half your age plus seven’ rule? You’re 66, so the youngest girl you can shag is 40. Adriani is 26. You’re having a laugh!”
“Look” says Wenger, “Diaby was the same. Rosicky was the same--” [referring to when aforementioned players had shared their wives with Arsene when physically unfit to please them]
“They’re foreign, boss. Us British lads would never settle for that.” says Wilshere, who at this point considers walking out.
“Ok. If this is the case, then I will send you to Bournemouth” says Wenger
“What do you mean?” questions Wilshere.
“Well Adriani is 26. Eddie Howe is 38. If you half his age and plus 7, he can help you out here” says Wenger, with a trademark smirk on his face.
“Don’t banter me off like this, boss!” says Wilshere, who at this point regrets opening up about his troublesome sex life.
There was no sympathy here, though. Wenger had made up his mind, for such disrespect was shown the moment Wilshere rubbished the idea of sharing his girlfriend.
There is a good reason why the footballing world refers to Wenger as Le Professeur. His knowledge extends beyond the realms of just football, which means that he can offer pastoral support and development to his players on and off the pitch. However, when such support is not appreciated it becomes an act of betrayal, as you would expect. Wilshere encountered this first hand during the summer of 2016.
Arsene, as usual, was in his office after training analysing the Arsenal vs Liverpool game from 1999 to get a better understanding on how to prepare for the 2016-17 season opener. To his annoyance, he is interrupted by a knock on his door.
“Boss, are you free?” questions Wilshere.
“Look, uh, if it’s about that raise I told you we would increase your weekly wage from £80,000 a week to £80,220 a week” replies Wenger.
“No, boss, it’s about my performance. I’m quite unhappy about the way I---”
Wenger interrupts, “Look, football is a bit like sex you know”
“Boss, that is the problem. Ever since I had that knock on my left ankle, I can’t seem to **** her right. She isn’t willing to go on top either, so we’re left in a bit of mess. It’s doing my head in” exclaims Wilshere, whilst clutching his ankle in despair.
There is a moment of silence. Wenger turns his chair around and looks into the beautiful greenery of the London colony whilst sexual thoughts in his head start to intensify.
“Boss, are you listening?”
“uh, I was distracted” says Wenger, as he turns his chair back around. “I have two options for you”.
“Go on, boss” says Wilshere.
“The first option is a simple one. Just don’t have sex”
“what’s the second option boss?” replies an inquisitive Wilshere.
“You can let me take care of her until you recover” says Wenger.
“That’s *******s, boss!” says Wilshere, “have you not heard of the ‘half your age plus seven’ rule? You’re 66, so the youngest girl you can shag is 40. Adriani is 26. You’re having a laugh!”
“Look” says Wenger, “Diaby was the same. Rosicky was the same--” [referring to when aforementioned players had shared their wives with Arsene when physically unfit to please them]
“They’re foreign, boss. Us British lads would never settle for that.” says Wilshere, who at this point considers walking out.
“Ok. If this is the case, then I will send you to Bournemouth” says Wenger
“What do you mean?” questions Wilshere.
“Well Adriani is 26. Eddie Howe is 38. If you half his age and plus 7, he can help you out here” says Wenger, with a trademark smirk on his face.
“Don’t banter me off like this, boss!” says Wilshere, who at this point regrets opening up about his troublesome sex life.
There was no sympathy here, though. Wenger had made up his mind, for such disrespect was shown the moment Wilshere rubbished the idea of sharing his girlfriend.