20 years ago today the worst week in this country's post-war history began.

[Burney]

The week in which this country abandoned quiet dignity, reserve and stoicism and instead embraced hysteria, emotional incontinence, narcissistic displays of grief and - worst of all - public weeping.

And we'd just drawn 0-0 with Spurs.

[AFC East]

The week in which this country abandoned quiet dignity, reserve and stoicism and instead embraced hysteria, emotional incontinence, narcissistic displays of grief and - worst of all - public weeping.

And we'd just drawn 0-0 with Spurs.

Bit of an overreaction. We'd cry with joy at that result now.

[Burney]

Bit of an overreaction. We'd cry with joy at that result now.

I was more upset by the 3-3 with Leicester the week before, tbh. If you score a hat-trick like that, you're supposed to win the fücking game, ffs!

[AFC East]

I was more upset by the 3-3 with Leicester the week before, tbh. If you score a hat-trick like that, you're supposed to win the fücking game, ffs!

I've never registered their last goal. We won 3-2.

[Burney]

I've never registered their last goal. We won 3-2.

We fücking didn't. That cünt who looked like a villain from Eastenders, wasn't it? Steve something?

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

I was more upset by the 3-3 with Leicester the week before, tbh. If you score a hat-trick like that, you're supposed to win the fücking game, ffs!


0-2 with 10 minutes to go. Same old Arsenal :hehe:

[AFC East]

We fücking didn't. That cünt who looked like a villain from Eastenders, wasn't it? Steve something?

No, it was struck off for breaking the laws of the universe. Steve Claridge is the man. Quite erudite for a footballer. Which isn't saying much.

[Burney]

No, it was struck off for breaking the laws of the universe. Steve Claridge is the man. Quite erudite for a footballer. Which isn't saying much.

No, I looked it up. Steve Walsh. ****bag. Him, not you.

I'd hardly call Steve Claridge erudite. He's reasonably coherent, but if he's ever read anything more challenging than The Racing Post, I'd be surprised.

[AFC East]

No, I looked it up. Steve Walsh. ****bag. Him, not you.

I'd hardly call Steve Claridge erudite. He's reasonably coherent, but if he's ever read anything more challenging than The Racing Post, I'd be surprised.

I really have blocked the memory. I don't have any recollection of him.

[Burney]

I really have blocked the memory. I don't have any recollection of him.

Allow me to refresh your memory


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3eFFk_zclg

[Monty92]

Allow me to refresh your memory


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3eFFk_zclg

I was at that game. I remember ranting on the journey home about how Ray Parlour was the weak link in the team and if he was a regular starter we'd have no chance of winning anything.

Nigel Winterburn was also on my shítlist too, for some reason.

This is my Nicosia moment, isn't it :-(

[Sir C]

Allow me to refresh your memory


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3eFFk_zclg

A couple of years later we lost there in the cup as well. I watched it on my own in a bar in Roermond. Another sad, lonely businessman evening, with the added seasoning of a defeat at Leicester.

Good timez.

[Burney]

I was at that game. I remember ranting on the journey home about how Ray Parlour was the weak link in the team and if he was a regular starter we'd have no chance of winning anything.

Nigel Winterburn was also on my shítlist too, for some reason.

This is my Nicosia moment, isn't it :-(

Not at all, m. We all have these moments. You should've heard some of the things I said about Thierry Henry back in the day.

I'd forgotten you used to be a supporters' club away game deviant. :hehe:

[Burney]

A couple of years later we lost there in the cup as well. I watched it on my own in a bar in Roermond. Another sad, lonely businessman evening, with the added seasoning of a defeat at Leicester.

Good timez.

I have no memory of that game at all.

[Monty92]

Not at all, m. We all have these moments. You should've heard some of the things I said about Thierry Henry back in the day.

I'd forgotten you used to be a supporters' club away game deviant. :hehe:

Actually we travelled independently to that game.

But you've just made me remember that thick, sub-literate spastic Micky who I had to listen to for hours and hours on coach journeys around the country and who I'd managed to almost entirely block out of my memory until now. So thanks. :-(

[Burney]

Actually we travelled independently to that game.

But you've just made me remember that thick, sub-literate spastic Micky who I had to listen to for hours and hours on coach journeys around the country and who I'd managed to almost entirely block out of my memory until now. So thanks. :-(

I do remember a discussion on here about how travelling to away games basically constituted a form of mental illness. I think you were starting to think the same thing at that stage.

[Sir C]

I have no memory of that game at all.

I just remember sitting at the bar staring into my pint as we lost.

la would have all the details to hand, of course.

[Billy Goat Sverige]

The week in which this country abandoned quiet dignity, reserve and stoicism and instead embraced hysteria, emotional incontinence, narcissistic displays of grief and - worst of all - public weeping.

And we'd just drawn 0-0 with Spurs.

I remember my mum and dad went to the funeral and had a good cry. My mum also bought Candle in the Wind and some other tribute cassette :-|

[Monty92]

I do remember a discussion on here about how travelling to away games basically constituted a form of mental illness. I think you were starting to think the same thing at that stage.

You can understand people who go with mates and make a day of it for the bantz, but there were often people who seemingly went alone, with nothing but their home-made sandwich and compact disc player for company. I guess it got them out of the house :shrug:

I used to travel a lot with Maputo Gooner. He had some serious, serious flatulance issues :-(

[Burney]

I remember my mum and dad went to the funeral and had a good cry. My mum also bought Candle in the Wind and some other tribute cassette :-|

I just don't understand the mindset. :shrug: But try and express the view that you really didn't care that much at the time and you had a good chance of getting punched. It was weird.

[Burney]

You can understand people who go with mates and make a day of it for the bantz, but there were often people who seemingly went alone, with nothing but their home-made sandwich and compact disc player for company. I guess it got them out of the house :shrug:

I used to travel a lot with Maputo Gooner. He had some serious, serious flatulance issues :-(

I never met him, but he always struck me as an overly-serious young man. The flatus makes him seem more human, if anything.

[Burney]

I just remember sitting at the bar staring into my pint as we lost.

la would have all the details to hand, of course.

Where is la? Has he gone on holiday or something?

[Monty92]

Did you know this issue of Private Eye, released soon after she'd died, was banned by most stores around the UK because it referenced the car? Literally, that was the reason. Not a picture of the car, just a reference.

734



I just don't understand the mindset. :shrug: But try and express the view that you really didn't care that much at the time and you had a good chance of getting punched. It was weird.

[Sir C]

You can understand people who go with mates and make a day of it for the bantz, but there were often people who seemingly went alone, with nothing but their home-made sandwich and compact disc player for company. I guess it got them out of the house :shrug:

I used to travel a lot with Maputo Gooner. He had some serious, serious flatulance issues :-(

He had some serious social skills issues. I met him once, at Cardiff when I gave him a cup final ticket. He barely managed to mumble a thank you before scuttling off.

Weirdo.

[Sir C]

Where is la? Has he gone on holiday or something?

Probably on a trip with Kraft Durch Freude.

[Monty92]

He had some serious social skills issues. I met him once, at Cardiff when I gave him a cup final ticket. He barely managed to mumble a thank you before scuttling off.

Weirdo.

To be fair, he was probably holding in a giant fart.

Hang on, you sorted him a Cup Final ticket and he didn't basically fall at your feet upon meeting you?

That is not just weird, but rude!

[Burney]

Did you know this issue of Private Eye, released soon after she'd died, was banned by most stores around the UK because it referenced the car? Literally, that was the reason. Not a picture of the car, just a reference.

734

Yes. I bought it. It also had a bit inside headlined 'That's the way the Mercedes Benz', which made me laugh a great deal.

Basically, much of the issue was taken up by them juxtaposing the vicious things columnists had said about Diana the week before with the lachrymose bollöcks the self-same columnists came up with after her death. It was a welcome relief from all the bullshït at the time.

[Burney]

He had some serious social skills issues. I met him once, at Cardiff when I gave him a cup final ticket. He barely managed to mumble a thank you before scuttling off.

Weirdo.

Did you at least make him pay for it?

[Monty92]

Yes. I bought it. It also had a bit inside headlined 'That's the way the Mercedes Benz', which made me laugh a great deal.

Basically, much of the issue was taken up by them juxtaposing the vicious things columnists had said about Diana the week before with the lachrymose bollöcks the self-same columnists came up with after her death. It was a welcome relief from all the bullshït at the time.

Hitchens of the Peter variety is quite interesting on Diana here (written yesterday)

http://hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2017/08/some-thoughts-about-the-princess-diana-affair.html

[Sir C]

Did you at least make him pay for it?

Well, face value, yes; the thing being that I'd got the one at face value, but needed two together, which I bought for £600, so I should have charged the ungateful little shít £300.

[Sir C]

To be fair, he was probably holding in a giant fart.

Hang on, you sorted him a Cup Final ticket and he didn't basically fall at your feet upon meeting you?

That is not just weird, but rude!

My thoughts exactly.

[Pokster]

To be fair, he was probably holding in a giant fart.

Hang on, you sorted him a Cup Final ticket and he didn't basically fall at your feet upon meeting you?

That is not just weird, but rude!

It was I that sorted him the cup final ticket, I believe that Sir C was the hand over man

[Pokster]

I didn't even charge him for the ticket

[Burney]

Well, face value, yes; the thing being that I'd got the one at face value, but needed two together, which I bought for £600, so I should have charged the ungateful little shít £300.

:hehe: Which cup final was it? The Chelsea one?

[Sir C]

It was I that sorted him the cup final ticket, I believe that Sir C was the hand over man

:nono: It was off your ST but I was to use it, until I bought a further two together for £600.

I have never been anyone's 'handover man', and certainly wouldn't contmeplate being such a creature on your behalf.

[Sir C]

:hehe: Which cup final was it? The Chelsea one?

Manyoo. 2005. You know, during that period. :shudder:

[Sir C]

I didn't even charge him for the ticket

You're confusing this with something else. I most certainly paid for the ticket.

[Monty92]

Manyoo. 2005. You know, during that period. :shudder:

I travelled with Maputo to that game. Was I not with him when he picked up the ticket?

I remember ranting on the way home from that one too, about how I've never been so embarrassed to win a trophy given how we were so badly outplayed and that the entire club should be ashamed :-\

[Sir C]

I travelled with Maputo to that game. Was I not with him when he picked up the ticket?

I remember ranting on the way home from that one too, about how I've never been so embarrassed to win a trophy given how we were so badly outplayed and that the entire club should be ashamed :-\

You weren't, no. I expect you were avoiding me in case I punched you.

[Burney]

I travelled with Maputo to that game. Was I not with him when he picked up the ticket?

I remember ranting on the way home from that one too, about how I've never been so embarrassed to win a trophy given how we were so badly outplayed and that the entire club should be ashamed :-\

Was he guffing along in agreement?

You need to explain more about the flatulence. Was it the sheer volume or quality of the farts that was the real problem?

For the record, the sort of person who farts in a car with passengers is lower than whale shít. I used to have to travel with a fat northern salesman who took great delight in saying 'Can you smell that? Fresh bread!', so you'd take a deep lungful, only to discover to your horror that he'd just sneaked out a particularly disgusting fart. :-(

[Burney]

Manyoo. 2005. You know, during that period. :shudder:


Right. The break-up the Invincibles. A sad time.

Oh, hang on, that's not what you mean, is it? :-(

[Sir C]

Right. The break-up the Invincibles. A sad time.

Oh, hang on, that's not what you mean, is it? :-(

Not exactly, no :-(

[The Rob2]

I was at that game. I remember ranting on the journey home about how Ray Parlour was the weak link in the team and if he was a regular starter we'd have no chance of winning anything.

Nigel Winterburn was also on my shítlist too, for some reason.

This is my Nicosia moment, isn't it :-(

I was ragging on Vieira at the time. He always gets sent off, he's a liability! Get rid! I was 8 though

[Burney]

Not exactly, no :-(

All a long time ago now, though. Spilt milk under the bridge and all that. :-)

[Monty92]

Was he guffing along in agreement?

You need to explain more about the flatulence. Was it the sheer volume or quality of the farts that was the real problem?

For the record, the sort of person who farts in a car with passengers is lower than whale shít. I used to have to travel with a fat northern salesman who took great delight in saying 'Can you smell that? Fresh bread!', so you'd take a deep lungful, only to discover to your horror that he'd just sneaked out a particularly disgusting fart. :-(

I think it was involuntary. I think he had an actual 'problem' :-\

It's why I didn't complain too much. To be fair, it was still less offensive than Micky's verbal emissions.

God I hated Micky. I sincerely hope he's dead.

[Burney]

I think it was involuntary. I think he had an actual 'problem' :-\

It's why I didn't complain too much. To be fair, it was still less offensive than Micky's verbal emissions.

God I hated Micky. I sincerely hope he's dead.

Irritable bowel or colitis or what have you? I once went to a job interview with a chap who suffered similarly. He kept having to go out to fart loudly. Difficult to bring your interviewee A game in a situation like that.

[AFC East]

Allow me to refresh your memory


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3eFFk_zclg

I remember being rickrolled, I'm not clicking on that!

[Sir C]

Irritable bowel or colitis or what have you? I once went to a job interview with a chap who suffered similarly. He kept having to go out to fart loudly. Difficult to bring your interviewee A game in a situation like that.

It's what originally turned me off The Eagles' Hotel California. "Warm smell of colitis/Rising up through the air..." :-(

[Burney]

It's what originally turned me off The Eagles' Hotel California. "Warm smell of colitis/Rising up through the air..." :-(

This whole thing has got very bowel-centric. WES has just talked us through the 'massive' bowel movement he plans to unleash upon his (presumably) loving family as soon as he arrives home.

[Monty92]

Irritable bowel or colitis or what have you? I once went to a job interview with a chap who suffered similarly. He kept having to go out to fart loudly. Difficult to bring your interviewee A game in a situation like that.

The MD let one go as I sat down for an interview for my last permanent job. I assumed he was testing me to see if I'd hold my nerve, but moments later he excused himself and dashed off to the toilet. Weirdly, it had the effect of removing all my nerves as I instantly felt fundamentally superior to him, simply for being able to keep control of my bowels in public.

[Sir C]

This whole thing has got very bowel-centric. WES has just talked us through the 'massive' bowel movement he plans to unleash upon his (presumably) loving family as soon as he arrives home.

I must say my bowels are of a most sanguine humour; they give little trouble to me or to anyone else. On balance, I'm quite pleased with the bowels I was given.

[Burney]

I must say my bowels are of a most sanguine humour; they give little trouble to me or to anyone else. On balance, I'm quite pleased with the bowels I was given.

Mine seem to do a job quietly and efficiently. Like Gilberto.

[Monty92]

Mine seem to do a job quietly and efficiently. Like Gilberto.

WES's sound more like Terry Hurlock. Predictably destructive and carrying an air that they could lose their shít at any time.

[Ash]

The week in which this country abandoned quiet dignity, reserve and stoicism and instead embraced hysteria, emotional incontinence, narcissistic displays of grief and - worst of all - public weeping.

And we'd just drawn 0-0 with Spurs.

Luckliy, when I woke early that morning to hear the news on the radio, I was off to Spain for a week on business. I hated travelling for work (and travel generally tbf) but I knew immediately that I'd been handed a fùcking lifeboat on that one.

Back in London on the saturday of the funeral, all the shops by my home off the Chalk Farm Road were shut, except for a motorbike shop and a french restaurant. I nearly bought a motorbike as a sign of disrespect.

It might have been a certain Mr B O'N who at the time came up with the phrase 'Mourning Sickness' to capture what you've described there.

[World's End Stella]

WES's sound more like Terry Hurlock. Predictably destructive and carrying an air that they could lose their shít at any time.

Eh? Sorry, where does this come from?

My bowels are just fine, thanks. They even worked through that 12-14 year old Galician steak in a Glasgow steakhouse with surprising ease.

Wd my bowels.

[Ash]

I just don't understand the mindset. :shrug: But try and express the view that you really didn't care that much at the time and you had a good chance of getting punched. It was weird.

That is kind-of what it feels like much of the time to be a republican, tbh. Just turned up to eleven.

[Ash]

Where is la? Has he gone on holiday or something?

I recall he was giving me both barrels over the EU in that strongly-worded manner of his when he suddenly said "Enjoy the game (Lester), chat to you on Monday". Doesn't sound like someone about to go on holiday for three weeks. I think he has a policy of avoiding politics on here and so has taken a hiatus. He's done it before.

[Ash]

Hitchens of the Peter variety is quite interesting on Diana here (written yesterday)

http://hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2017/08/some-thoughts-about-the-princess-diana-affair.html

Didn't manage to get through that tbh. It got rather dull.

Where do you stand on the monarchy, Monts? I know you generally sign up to all the standard-issue rightist shibboleths, but you strike me as the sort who who would see that particular institution as an illusion designed to bind together stupid people, rather than bowing and scraping to it deferentially.

I'm not having a go at the monarchy here btw, before anyone feels the obligation to fly in studs-up.

[SWv2]

I just remember sitting at the bar staring into my pint as we lost.

la would have all the details to hand, of course.

Timothy Taylor Landlord at a guess.

[Peter]

Didn't manage to get through that tbh. It got rather dull.

Where do you stand on the monarchy, Monts? I know you generally sign up to all the standard-issue rightist shibboleths, but you strike me as the sort who who would see that particular institution as an illusion designed to bind together stupid people, rather than bowing and scraping to it deferentially.

I'm not having a go at the monarchy here btw, before anyone feels the obligation to fly in studs-up.

Its an illusion that binds together badly designed branches of government and state. It does its job and saves us from having some ghastly elected head of state.

Of course, if you want a head of state, a written constitution, a disestablished Church of England then it is a significant barrier.

[Ash]

Its an illusion that binds together badly designed branches of government and state. It does its job and saves us from having some ghastly elected head of state.


The monarch seems terribly overworked, poor thing. Why is she not allowed to retire? Is it because that insufferable príck would be next?

[Burney]

Its an illusion that binds together badly designed branches of government and state. It does its job and saves us from having some ghastly elected head of state.

Of course, if you want a head of state, a written constitution, a disestablished Church of England then it is a significant barrier.

Yes, but what sort of a cùnt would want those things?

[Sir C]

The monarch seems terribly overworked, poor thing. Why is she not allowed to retire? Is it because that insufferable príck would be next?

There's language now!

[Burney]

There's language now!

To be fair, while I will obviously be loyal and bend the knee to him because of what he represents, I will struggle ever to muster any affection for Charles.

[Sir C]

To be fair, while I will obviously be loyal and bend the knee to him because of what he represents, I will struggle ever to muster any affection for Charles.

Oh I quite agree, but referring to our next King using the c word seems to me the act of a scrub.

[SWv2]

Oh I quite agree, but referring to our next King using the c word seems to me the act of a scrub.

Would he not let the young lad take over, William?

Nobody really wants to look at that mutt Camilla while the other is relatively a fox.

[Sir C]

Would he not let the young lad take over, William?

Nobody really wants to look at that mutt Camilla while the other is relatively a fox.

I don't know really. But he's been itching to have a go for years and years. I suspect he's desperate for a taste of the top job.

I bet that Kate smells lovely :cloud9:

[Burney]

Would he not let the young lad take over, William?

Nobody really wants to look at that mutt Camilla while the other is relatively a fox.

No, sw. That's not how a hereditary monarchy works. The clue's in the name.

Mind you, I am very struck with young Kate. I suspect she's sexually voracious.

[Burney]

Oh I quite agree, but referring to our next King using the c word seems to me the act of a scrub.

To be fair, he called him a prick, which begins with p.

[SWv2]

No, sw. That's not how a hereditary monarchy works. The clue's in the name.

Mind you, I am very struck with young Kate. I suspect she's sexually voracious.

Can you not step aside?

Mind you as King he could make a royal order to allow himself have a go on Kate and then step aside. Perks etc.

[Sir C]

To be fair, he called him a prick, which begins with p.

Fair one, fair one.

I've dropped a bóllock here really, haven't I? :-(

[Burney]

Can you not step aside?

Mind you as King he could make a royal order to allow himself have a go on Kate and then step aside. Perks etc.

You can, but it's hardly the done thing and is only usually done if there is some pressing constitutional reason for him to do so. Also, it would be a bit of a swizz to happily lap up the very generous revenues from the Civil List and the Duchy of Cornwall for 50-odd years and then say 'Nah, you're alright' when asked to do the job for which you received those perks.

[Burney]

Fair one, fair one.

I've dropped a bóllock here really, haven't I? :-(


Easily done. The confusion arose because I called people who want written constitutions, disestablished churches and elected heads of state ****s - which of course they are.

[Sir C]

Easily done. The confusion arose because I called people who want written constitutions, disestablished churches and elected heads of state ****s - which of course they are.

On this occasion, as so often, you have truly chosen le mot juste, b.

[Ash]

On this occasion, as so often, you have truly chosen le mot juste, b.

So that's all cleared up, then. Charles III is a príck but I'm a cùnt. :nod:

[Sir C]

So that's all cleared up, then. Charles III is a príck but I'm a cùnt. :nod:

:-( Oh he didn't mean you, a. He meant the others. You know the sort.

[Burney]

:-( Oh he didn't mean you, a. He meant the others. You know the sort.

Exactly. I would never be so rude to a, who is a chap for whom I hold the greatest respect.

[Peter]

Easily done. The confusion arose because I called people who want written constitutions, disestablished churches and elected heads of state ****s - which of course they are.

I am afraid I have to agree. Which makes me feel a little uneasy.

[Burney]

I am afraid I have to agree. Which makes me feel a little uneasy.

I think it's the thing where such people look around the countries that have these things and somehow convince themselves they're better run or more just than the UK.

They aren't. :shrug:

[Peter]

I think it's the thing where such people look around the countries that have these things and somehow convince themselves they're better run or more just than the UK.

They aren't. :shrug:

They are symbols. I care little for them.

THe notion of separating church and state was a noble one, crucial in releasing law making and government from the narrow confines of religious doctrine. We couldn't do it so we separated state and government instead. Same difference, does the job.

In the same way it irritates me slightly when people go and see a metro system built 50 years ago and say it is so much more effective and rational than the tube. Of course it is, it was purpose built. Ours is centuries old and had had to evolve to cope with different eras.