I came late to Detectorists. I'm just watching the second series now.

[Sir C]

It's just about the perfect TV progamme. Sometimes the beauty of its gentle Englishness makes me weep silent tears of gratitude for having been born in this Great Country.

Plus, it's got Toby Jones.

[Peter]

It's just about the perfect TV progamme. Sometimes the beauty of its gentle Englishness makes me weep silent tears of gratitude for having been born in this Great Country.

Plus, it's got Toby Jones.

What a ****ing poof!

Jesus Christ, man.....

[Burney]

It's just about the perfect TV progamme. Sometimes the beauty of its gentle Englishness makes me weep silent tears of gratitude for having been born in this Great Country.

Plus, it's got Toby Jones.

I remember texting almost exactly this to you about a year ago whilst drunk. You told me you didn't like gentle whimsy. :rolleyes:

[Sir C]

I remember texting almost exactly this to you about a year ago whilst drunk. You told me you didn't like gentle whimsy. :rolleyes:

Ah, but I don't like gentle whimsy when it comes wrapped, as it does so often, in a cawl of intellectual superiority.

[Sir C]

What a ****ing poof!

Jesus Christ, man.....

There are no poofs, no transers, no TERFs, no Owen Joneses, no Allans chopping and chanting, just pure, fine Englishmen and a token Kraut.

[Burney]

Ah, but I don't like gentle whimsy when it comes wrapped, as it does so often, in a cawl of intellectual superiority.

Yes, but the lesson here is that if I recommend something, you ought with alacrity to leap upon it as I am never wrong.

The only thing I don't like about the programme is yer man from The Office's wife. She's got a very deep voice and is really irritating.

I have shed many a tear about how beautiful the landscape is in it. And, as you know, I am not given to eye-pīssing to the extent you are. I don't live far from some of the places it's filmed.

[Sir C]

Yes, but the lesson here is that if I recommend something, you ought with alacrity to leap upon it as I am never wrong.

The only thing I don't like about the programme is yer man from The Office's wife. She's got a very deep voice and is really irritating.

I have shed many a tear about how beautiful the landscape is in it. And, as you know, I am not given to eye-pīssing to the extent you are. I don't live far from some of the places it's filmed.

Yes, she is a teacher and therefore undoubtedly a communist, whilst he is a feckless layabout who refuses to work to support his wife and child.

The whole thing, frankly, is Corbynesque propaganda of the vilest sort.

[Pat Vegas]

It's just about the perfect TV progamme. Sometimes the beauty of its gentle Englishness makes me weep silent tears of gratitude for having been born in this Great Country.

Plus, it's got Toby Jones.

I never liked it. Jasper Carrot and Robert Powell running around being police. not for me clive.

[Burney]

I never liked it. Jasper Carrot and Robert Powell running around being police. not for me clive.

It really is quite hard to recall a period when Jasper Carrot was hugely popular, but it definitely did happen. Indeed, I seem to remember laughing at his stuff quite a lot. I'd probably think it was terrible these days.

[Burney]

Yes, she is a teacher and therefore undoubtedly a communist, whilst he is a feckless layabout who refuses to work to support his wife and child.

The whole thing, frankly, is Corbynesque propaganda of the vilest sort.

Also, I wish he'd put his bony arms away. They gross me out. I don't really understand how people are that skinny without snapping.

[Sir C]

It really is quite hard to recall a period when Jasper Carrot was hugely popular, but it definitely did happen. Indeed, I seem to remember laughing at his stuff quite a lot. I'd probably think it was terrible these days.

He told quite an amusing story to which the punchline was, "Hey Carrot, they've got no Bovril!" bawled in broad Brummie. I occasionally shout this phrase for no apparent reason.

[Sir C]

Also, I wish he'd put his bony arms away. They gross me out. I don't really understand how people are that skinny without snapping.

Also, don't get me started on the canary yellow TR7. One of those wánkers who thinks he drives a 'classic car' because it's more than 25 years old. (See also all MG enthusiasts.) The car was shít the day it rolled off the production line, mate, and the passage of a quarter of a century is unlikely to have improved its dynamic capabilities.

****.

[Burney]

Also, don't get me started on the canary yellow TR7. One of those wánkers who thinks he drives a 'classic car' because it's more than 25 years old. (See also all MG enthusiasts.) The car was shít the day it rolled off the production line, mate, and the passage of a quarter of a century is unlikely to have improved its dynamic capabilities.

****.

I used to get lifts to work with a rather pretty sales lady who insisted on driving one of them - canary yellow, too. Not only did one look ridiculous in it, it was forever going wrong, so I'd have to get the bus.

If I hadn't fancied her rotten (and needed a lift), I'd probably have sacked off the whole arrangement.

She turned out to be a lesbian. :-(

[Pokster]

I used to get lifts to work with a rather pretty sales lady who insisted on driving one of them - canary yellow, too. Not only did one look ridiculous in it, it was forever going wrong, so I'd have to get the bus.

If I hadn't fancied her rotten (and needed a lift), I'd probably have sacked off the whole arrangement.

She turned out to be a lesbian. :-(

Was she a Lesbian before you fancied her or did the thought of your overly white hairy body turn her?

[Burney]

Was she a Lesbian before you fancied her or did the thought of your overly white hairy body turn her?

I couldn't say. She just turned up at an event one evening with a short-haired woman in tow. This made a lot of people who'd tried it on with her and failed feel a lot better about things.

My body wasn't particularly hairy back then, I don't think. Indeed, I was quite smooth.

My whiteness I couldn't really help, you racist.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Also, don't get me started on the canary yellow TR7.

Always breaking down they are

[Pokster]

I couldn't say. She just turned up at an event one evening with a short-haired woman in tow. This made a lot of people who'd tried it on with her and failed feel a lot better about things.

My body wasn't particularly hairy back then, I don't think. Indeed, I was quite smooth.

My whiteness I couldn't really help, you racist.

So you are clinging to the hope that you didn't turn her.......

[Peter]

She turned out to be a lesbian. :-(

No, she didn't. Because you don't believe in them, remember.

She made a political choice to avoid men, specifically you :p

[Sir C]

I used to get lifts to work with a rather pretty sales lady who insisted on driving one of them - canary yellow, too. Not only did one look ridiculous in it, it was forever going wrong, so I'd have to get the bus.

If I hadn't fancied her rotten (and needed a lift), I'd probably have sacked off the whole arrangement.

She turned out to be a lesbian. :-(

Yes, I once actually performed the foul deed within the confines of a TR7; this event may have taken place, if my memory does me no disservice, in the car park of Finchley Golf Club.

A regrettable, cramped and uncomfortable, of ultimately satisfying, experience.

The car in question was one of the few automatics built, by the way. A three-speed unit, this was not a gearbox of which the British motor industry should be proud.

[Sir C]

Always breaking down they are

:nod: Just like when they were brand new.

Quite how the company responsible for the TR4a and TR5 has the brass neck to bring the TR7 to market is quite beyond me. Let us draw a veil across the TR6 and blame Lucas for the fuel metering unit issues.

[Pokster]

Yes, I once actually performed the foul deed within the confines of a TR7; this event may have taken place, if my memory does me no disservice, in the car park of Finchley Golf Club.

A regrettable, cramped and uncomfortable, of ultimately satisfying, experience.

The car in question was one of the few automatics built, by the way. A three-speed unit, this was not a gearbox of which the British motor industry should be proud.

That is what probably started your shoulder problem.... were you shagging the Lesbian or berni?

[Sir C]

That is what probably started your shoulder problem.... were you shagging the Lesbian or berni?

I have never knowingly shagged a lesbian, p. That would be morally wrong and quite possibly illegal (I am unsure of the exact wording of the legislation covering these issues.)

Had I been shagging berni in a TR7 in Finchley Gold Club car park, I wouldn't need to tell him about it, would I?

[Burney]

I have never knowingly shagged a lesbian, p. That would be morally wrong and quite possibly illegal (I am unsure of the exact wording of the legislation covering these issues.)

Had I been shagging berni in a TR7 in Finchley Gold Club car park, I wouldn't need to tell him about it, would I?

Also, I doubt the suspension would have taken it.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Also, I doubt the suspension would have taken it.

I can see it going up and down :-(

[Pokster]

I have never knowingly shagged a lesbian, p. That would be morally wrong and quite possibly illegal (I am unsure of the exact wording of the legislation covering these issues.)

Had I been shagging berni in a TR7 in Finchley Gold Club car park, I wouldn't need to tell him about it, would I?

He might be trying to block it from his mind :shrug:

[Burney]

No, she didn't. Because you don't believe in them, remember.

She made a political choice to avoid men, specifically you :p

Quite so, quite so. I was really just using the term 'lesbian' as shorthand for her delusionary condition. She's almost certainly happily married to a bloke called Steve and has three kids these days.

[Burney]

I can see it going up and down :-(

Think how I feel :-(

[Pokster]

I can see it going up and down :-(

Who is the postman and the letterbox?

Ex Colleague of mind said you weren't gay if you were the giver... he was a fruit loop though

[Sir C]

Think how I feel :-(

Hairy. Firm of thigh and buttock, I suspect.

[Burney]

Who is the postman and the letterbox?

Ex Colleague of mind said you weren't gay if you were the giver... he was a fruit loop though

I think we'd have to toss a coin on that one. I assume that's how it's done in heemasex circles. So that you can choose ends, as it were. :shrug:

[Pokster]

I think we'd have to toss a coin on that one. I assume that's how it's done in heemasex circles. So that you can choose ends, as it were. :shrug:

I wonder if it is like a test match and you would like to bat first, rather than putting the opposition in

[Sir C]

I think we'd have to toss a coin on that one. I assume that's how it's done in heemasex circles. So that you can choose ends, as it were. :shrug:

All my gay friends are either a 'top' or a 'bottom', which means that one is constantly getting poled in the sphincter.

It can't do the ol' ringpiece any good, can it? I mean, I expect that you end up with... leakage :-(

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Who is the postman and the letterbox?

Ex Colleague of mind said you weren't gay if you were the giver... he was a fruit loop though

Burney is the postman after Ronnie Corbett gave him a lesson in how to use the letterbox

[Burney]

All my gay friends are either a 'top' or a 'bottom', which means that one is constantly getting poled in the sphincter.

It can't do the ol' ringpiece any good, can it? I mean, I expect that you end up with... leakage :-(

I'm assured they don't do anal as much as you'd think. I imagine you couldn't, for one thing.

Did you know that, when you die, the funeral directors basically ram a big butt plug up you to prevent leakage?

That's no way to greet one's maker, is it? :-(

[Burney]

Burney is the postman after Ronnie Corbett gave him a lesson in how to use the letterbox

What I had for him was too big his tiny, gnome-sized letterbox, vpv. He couldn't take it and became outraged. :nod:

[Burney]

I wonder if it is like a test match and you would like to bat first, rather than putting the opposition in

A lot would depend on the conditions and how much grass was on the wicket, but even so I've never liked putting the opposition in.

[Peter]

Quite so, quite so. I was really just using the term 'lesbian' as shorthand for her delusionary condition. She's almost certainly happily married to a bloke called Steve and has three kids these days.

Imagine what a lesbian couple are like. One woman is enough to ruin any relationship.....

[Luis Anaconda]

It really is quite hard to recall a period when Jasper Carrot was hugely popular, but it definitely did happen. Indeed, I seem to remember laughing at his stuff quite a lot. I'd probably think it was terrible these days.

Extraordinary really. And he had Punt and Dennis on his show, so it can't be that long ago *. Presumably as every BBC comedy had to have some Cambridge graduates in




*ok it is 30 years ago

[Burney]

Extraordinary really. And he had Punt and Dennis on his show, so it can't be that long ago *. Presumably as every BBC comedy had to have some Cambridge graduates in


*ok it is 30 years ago

Steve Punt went to my school. The filthy lefty twàt.

[Peter]

Steve Punt went to my school. The filthy lefty twàt.

Very punchable face.

[redgunamo]

He told quite an amusing story to which the punchline was, "Hey Carrot, they've got no Bovril!" bawled in broad Brummie. I occasionally shout this phrase for no apparent reason.

I always liked his Four Seasons/Vivaldi joke.