Lyrics you misheard or changed your mind and now you can't but help

[Pat Vegas]

but help of always thinking this.

When I hear ACDC's Shook me all night long instead of 'she was a fast machine' I think she was a fax machine.
In Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin the bit where he says 'Carry me back carry me back, Carry me back, baby, where I come from' I think of carrier bag.


Plus I think it was Berni who ruined that Holiday Road song for me.

[Burney]

but help of always thinking this.

When I hear ACDC's Shook me all night long instead of 'she was a fast machine' I think she was a fax machine.
In Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin the bit where he says 'Carry me back carry me back, Carry me back, baby, where I come from' I think of carrier bag.


Plus I think it was Berni who ruined that Holiday Road song for me.

There's also singing 'Lock the taskbar' to the tune of 'Rock the Kasbah'

[Pat Vegas]

There's also singing 'Lock the taskbar' to the tune of 'Rock the Kasbah'

:nod: I think Ears put video or a gif of that on here once.

[Sir C]

but help of always thinking this.

When I hear ACDC's Shook me all night long instead of 'she was a fast machine' I think she was a fax machine.
In Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin the bit where he says 'Carry me back carry me back, Carry me back, baby, where I come from' I think of carrier bag.


Plus I think it was Berni who ruined that Holiday Road song for me.

I like that Madonna song that goes, "You've got to make him / Express his milk / hey hey hey hey"

Yeah.

[Pat Vegas]

I like that Madonna song that goes, "You've got to make him / Express his milk / hey hey hey hey"

Yeah.

This thread is going to be great. I will use all these to make a new song.


She was a Fax Machine,
Carrier Bag Carrier Bag Carrier Bag,
Holloway Road, Lock the task bar.
You've got to make him Express his milk
hey hey hey hey

[Pokster]

but help of always thinking this.

When I hear ACDC's Shook me all night long instead of 'she was a fast machine' I think she was a fax machine.
In Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin the bit where he says 'Carry me back carry me back, Carry me back, baby, where I come from' I think of carrier bag.


Plus I think it was Berni who ruined that Holiday Road song for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u97o1dN4KvA

It's as if Peter Kay hadn't done this before

[Peter]

I like that Madonna song that goes, "You've got to make him / Express his milk / hey hey hey hey"

Yeah.

Which song is 'I fell in love with some dago'

[Burney]

Which song is 'I fell in love with some dago'

La Isla Bonita, n'est çe pas?

[Peter]

La Isla Bonita, n'est çe pas?

ah yes, so it is.

I think Pat has just ruined You Shook Me All Night Long for me. That's my take off song (scared of flying)

[Pat Vegas]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u97o1dN4KvA

It's as if Peter Kay hadn't done this before

Does he post on here?

[Burney]

but help of always thinking this.

When I hear ACDC's Shook me all night long instead of 'she was a fast machine' I think she was a fax machine.
In Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin the bit where he says 'Carry me back carry me back, Carry me back, baby, where I come from' I think of carrier bag.


Plus I think it was Berni who ruined that Holiday Road song for me.

I always think of that line in 'Hotel California' as being 'Warm smell of colitis, rising up through the air'

[Burney]

ah yes, so it is.

I think Pat has just ruined You Shook Me All Night Long for me. That's my take off song (scared of flying)

What an odd choice of take-off song.

[Pokster]

Does he post on here?

Who do you think Peter is? :watson:

[Pat Vegas]

Who do you think Peter is? :watson:

:hehe: :hehe:

[Pat Vegas]

What an odd choice of take-off song.

Ooh that's a good one.
What are good take off songs? I've never though about that.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Calling Cheryl Baker

[Peter]

What an odd choice of take-off song.

Its a nod to anticipated turbulence but its mainly because its ****ing loud and drowns out the noises. I am only scared of take off. Once we are in the air I'm fine

[Pat Vegas]

Its a nod to anticipated turbulence but its mainly because its ****ing loud and drowns out the noises. I am only scared of take off. Once we are in the air I'm fine

Same for me. Except it's not always it's very strange.

Sometimes I try to play it cool by appearing that just carry on doing what I am doing during the take off.

some people hate landing but it doesn't bother me at all.

[Sir C]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u97o1dN4KvA

It's as if Peter Kay hadn't done this before

wd p, that's his chips pissed in.

[Sir C]

Which song is 'I fell in love with some dago'

I thought it was 'lumbago', which admittedly is an odd thing in with which love to fall.

Eh?

[Peter]

Same for me. Except it's not always it's very strange.

Sometimes I try to play it cool by appearing that just carry on doing what I am doing during the take off.

some people hate landing but it doesn't bother me at all.

I love landing. It means I am going to be having a fag shortly

[Pokster]

Same for me. Except it's not always it's very strange.

Sometimes I try to play it cool by appearing that just carry on doing what I am doing during the take off.

some people hate landing but it doesn't bother me at all.

Old colleague of mine couldn't go abroad as his wife was scared of flying.... she did hypno to get over it so they booked their first family trip abroad to Mallorca, checked in fine, on the plane she has a panic attack and decides she can't go. She gets off with the kids and the airline tell her husband that he can delay the flight and piss off loads of passengers while they unload the cases, or he can fly without them...... he flew to Mallorca, collected the cases then had to pay for a return flight home (even better he got done for exceeding his baggage allowance on the way home)

[Burney]

Its a nod to anticipated turbulence but its mainly because its ****ing loud and drowns out the noises. I am only scared of take off. Once we are in the air I'm fine

I'm similar - apart from those moments of arse-puckering existential dread when the reality pokes through that I'm trapped in a metal tube hurtling through the sky at unholy speeds, breathing recycled air and with only thin layers of aluminium and plastic between me and a howling, freezing environment that is quite incapable of sustaining human life, I'm cool.

I do wish they wouldn't keep telling you how high up you are and how cold it is outside. I really, really don't want to know. Mind you, if I had my way, airliners wouldn't have windows.

And as for these freaks who want to look at views offered by the cameras OUTSIDE THE PLANE - what the fück is wrong with them?

[Pokster]

I love landing. It means I am going to be having a fag shortly

I don't think you are allowed to call them fags now

[Burney]

I love landing. It means I am going to be having a fag shortly

Oh yeah. I'm never happier on a plane than when it's descending to land. While I know it's potentially the most dangerous part of the flight, I also know that the whole thing will be over soon one way or another.

That's the thing about me and flying: it's not crashing and dying I'm afraid of, it's actually being on planes.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Same for me. Except it's not always it's very strange.

Sometimes I try to play it cool by appearing that just carry on doing what I am doing during the take off.

some people hate landing but it doesn't bother me at all.

I just look out of the window when taking off
Love it when the pilot takes the brakes off and the aeroplane shoots forward

[Peter]

I'm similar - apart from those moments of arse-puckering dread when the reality pokes through that I'm trapped in a metal tube hurtling through the sky at unholy speeds, breathing recycled air and with only thin layers of aluminium and plastic between me and a howling, freezing environment that is quite incapable of sustaining human life, I'm cool.

I do wish they wouldn't keep telling you how high up you are and how cold it is outside. I really, really don't want to know. Mind you, if I had my way, airliners wouldn't have windows.

And as for these freaks who want to look at views offered by the cameras OUTSIDE THE PLANE - what the fück is wrong with them?

I am fairly ok with the idea of dying, that doesn't bother me too much. I have to make sure I don't think about the fact that I am stuck in close proximity to a heaving, stinking mass of humanity for the next 6/8/13 hours, there is nothing I can do about it and I cant even have a ****ing fag. Death is ok, what terrifies me is delays. If the slightest thing goes wrong I am going to want a fag. And then things turn nasty.

[Burney]

I just look out of the window when taking off
Love it when the pilot takes the brakes off and the aeroplane shoots forward

Weirdo. If I unlucky enough to have a window seat, I will close the blind as soon as possible.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

I am fairly ok with the idea of dying, that doesn't bother me too much. I have to make sure I don't think about the fact that I am stuck in close proximity to a heaving, stinking mass of humanity for the next 6/8/13 hours, there is nothing I can do about it and I cant even have a ****ing fag. Death is ok, what terrifies me is delays. If the slightest thing goes wrong I am going to want a fag. And then things turn nasty.

Just go to sleep
:shrug:

[Burney]

I am fairly ok with the idea of dying, that doesn't bother me too much. I have to make sure I don't think about the fact that I am stuck in close proximity to a heaving, stinking mass of humanity for the next 6/8/13 hours, there is nothing I can do about it and I cant even have a ****ing fag. Death is ok, what terrifies me is delays. If the slightest thing goes wrong I am going to want a fag. And then things turn nasty.

Oh, yeah. It's not dying that's the issue. It's the environment.

[Peter]

Oh yeah. I'm never happier on a plane than when it's descending to land. While I know it's potentially the most dangerous part of the flight, I also know that the whole thing will be over soon one way or another.

That's the thing about me and flying: it's not crashing and dying I'm afraid of, it's actually being on planes.

Exactly. THe alternative to landing is being stuck up there. When you get caught in a landing queue I would seriously consider the offer of a parachute.

Isnt take off the most dangerous part? I tend to think once the thing is in the air and working you will be fine.

[Burney]

Just go to sleep
:shrug:

Going to sleep on planes is actually quite difficult if you hate flying.

[Sir C]

Oh yeah. I'm never happier on a plane than when it's descending to land. While I know it's potentially the most dangerous part of the flight, I also know that the whole thing will be over soon one way or another.

That's the thing about me and flying: it's not crashing and dying I'm afraid of, it's actually being on planes that I cannot stand.

'Aircraft' is good. 'Aeroplane' is also fine. 'The jet', if you're flying it.

Take off is by far the most dangerous time on an airliner. Just after rotate, at a speed so low you're entirely dependent on the complex system of slats and flaps keeping the aircraft airborne as it accelerates - meanwhile, the engines are working flat out and if something's going to go wrong with one of them, this is the time. And if it does, you'd better pray that the PF has the reflexes to immediately get the correct rudder applied and the room to lower the nose to maintain VMcA, or you're fúcked. :hehe:

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Weirdo. If I unlucky enough to have a window seat, I will close the blind as soon as possible.

Annoying if I am stuck on the wing
It obstructs the view

I do not like night flights so much
Pitch black out there
How can the pilot see where he is going ?!
:-\

[Peter]

Just go to sleep
:shrug:

If you are 6 foot tall and sat in economy, that isn't an easy option.

I struggle to sleep in bed, let alone strapped into a rock hard chair in a tube of farts

[Burney]

Exactly. THe alternative to landing is being stuck up there. When you get caught in a landing queue I would seriously consider the offer of a parachute.

Isnt take off the most dangerous part? I tend to think once the thing is in the air and working you will be fine.

Well it's the most dangerous in the sense that you are pointing the big, fast-moving machine at the ground and hoping everything goes alright, I'd guess. In terms of the statistics, I've no idea. You'd have to ask Sir C. He knows about these things.

[Peter]

'Aircraft' is good. 'Aeroplane' is also fine. 'The jet', if you're flying it.

Take off is by far the most dangerous time on an airliner. Just after rotate, at a speed so low you're entirely dependent on the complex system of slats and flaps keeping the aircraft airborne as it accelerates - meanwhile, the engines are working flat out and if something's going to go wrong with one of them, this is the time. And if it does, you'd better pray that the PF has the reflexes to immediately get the correct rudder applied and the room to lower the nose to maintain VMcA, or you're fúcked. :hehe:

So I was right to be scared :)

[Burney]

'Aircraft' is good. 'Aeroplane' is also fine. 'The jet', if you're flying it.

Take off is by far the most dangerous time on an airliner. Just after rotate, at a speed so low you're entirely dependent on the complex system of slats and flaps keeping the aircraft airborne as it accelerates - meanwhile, the engines are working flat out and if something's going to go wrong with one of them, this is the time. And if it does, you'd better pray that the PF has the reflexes to immediately get the correct rudder applied and the room to lower the nose to maintain VMcA, or you're fúcked. :hehe:

Yes, yes, but does it really have to be so noisy?

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Going to sleep on planes is actually quite difficult if you hate flying.

A serious question to you and Peter

Do you just feel paralysed gripped with gear and not wanting to move when on an aircraft and is being sat in the chair the least worrying option ?

[Pat Vegas]

I love landing. It means I am going to be having a fag shortly

:hehe: Could take a while if landing at Gatwick or Stansted :-(

[Peter]

A serious question to you and Peter

Do you just feel paralysed gripped with gear and not wanting to move when on an aircraft and is being sat in the chair the least worrying option ?

I am nervous at take off, irritated for the next 20 minutes and then fine. Once the seatbelt sign is off I will spend as much time as possible out of the seat unless the flight is half empty.
I also spend a bit of time in the loo with my e-cigarette.

[redgunamo]

Old colleague of mine couldn't go abroad as his wife was scared of flying.... she did hypno to get over it so they booked their first family trip abroad to Mallorca, checked in fine, on the plane she has a panic attack and decides she can't go. She gets off with the kids and the airline tell her husband that he can delay the flight and piss off loads of passengers while they unload the cases, or he can fly without them...... he flew to Mallorca, collected the cases then had to pay for a return flight home (even better he got done for exceeding his baggage allowance on the way home)

He deserved it, imo. What a homo!

[Burney]

A serious question to you and Peter

Do you just feel paralysed gripped with gear and not wanting to move when on an aircraft and is being sat in the chair the least worrying option ?

Oh, I'm not paralysed with fear, just churning away internally. To look at me, you might not even realise I didn't like flying - unless you knew me well. I prefer to remain seated, though, and quite resent having to get up to let people go to the lavatory.

[Sir C]

So I was right to be scared :)

Too right you were. Especially these days, when most FOs are wet-behind the ear kids who have graduated from an approved course with no more than 250 hours total experience. They simply do not have the instinctive reactions to things going wrong which catch the problem in the first 5 seconds. The old generation of skippers is still around at the moment, but they're starting to retire and these kids are getting promoted to the left hand seat. It's quite scary, really.

I have a good friend who is a senior, very experienced skipper with a certain very popular airline and he tells me that these days, if he has, for example, a night flight into a meditaerranean island where he is likely to be making an approach, in the weather, without benefit of radar cover, he looks at the sprog next to him and realises that he is, to all intents and pruposes, going to have the do the job alone. And it's a two man job, so that's really, really hard.

Now imagine something going wrong in the middle of that...

[Sir C]

Yes, yes, but does it really have to be so noisy?

I bet you'd be less happy if it all went quiet...

There's an old RAF saying that the propellor is on the front of the aircraft to keep the pilot cool, because if it stops, you watch the fúcker sweat. :hehe:

[Peter]

Too right you were. Especially these days, when most FOs are wet-behind the ear kids who have graduated from an approved course with no more than 250 hours total experience. They simply do not have the instinctive reactions to things going wrong which catch the problem in the first 5 seconds. The old generation of skippers is still around at the moment, but they're starting to retire and these kids are getting promoted to the left hand seat. It's quite scary, really.

I have a good friend who is a senior, very experienced skipper with a certain very popular airline and he tells me that these days, if he has, for example, a night flight into a meditaerranean island where he is likely to be making an approach, in the weather, without benefit of radar cover, he looks at the sprog next to him and realises that he is, to all intents and pruposes, going to have the do the job alone. And it's a two man job, so that's really, really hard.

Now imagine something going wrong in the middle of that...

Yeah, well. These things happen. Stick on some music and forget about it.

[Sir C]

If you are 6 foot tall and sat in economy, that isn't an easy option.

I struggle to sleep in bed, let alone strapped into a rock hard chair in a tube of farts

A sleeping tablet and a couple of scotches should get you from Heathrow to the Bay of Bengal OK.

[Sir C]

Yeah, well. These things happen. Stick on some music and forget about it.

Well, yeah. That's OK if there is some catastrophic incident and everyone gets wiped out immediately. What if there is a landing incident? All those bits of seats and bits of people flying around the cabin inflicting the most unimaginable injuries. And that's without the fire! And it's not just any old fire. AVTUR burns hot, p. Hot.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

A sleeping tablet and a couple of scotches should get you from Heathrow to the Bay of Bengal OK.

This is your Captain speaking ..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Burney]

A sleeping tablet and a couple of scotches should get you from Heathrow to the Bay of Bengal OK.

Where does one even get sleeping tablets these days, though. Ask for one from a GP and he'll immediately assume you're a junkie and start wibbling at you about fücking breathing exercises or some such shít.

[Sir C]

Where does one even get sleeping tablets these days, though. Ask for one from a GP and he'll immediately assume you're a junkie and start wibbling at you about fücking breathing exercises or some such shít.

One's man should be able to supply, I think.

[Sir C]

This is your Captain speaking ..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

On a long haul flight he'll probably be asleep for 50% of it.

It is a legal requirement that a member of the cabin crew enters the flight deck every 30 minutes to 'offer a drink'. In reality they are going in to check that both pilots haven't nodded off. :hehe:

[Burney]

One's man should be able to supply, I think.

I have no 'man' these days. And even when I did, I don't think I'd have trusted him not to poison me.

[Sir C]

I have no 'man' these days. And even when I did, I don't think I'd have trusted him not to poison me.

Sad story, b.

One should always be able to trust one's man.

[SWv2]

Where does one even get sleeping tablets these days, though. Ask for one from a GP and he'll immediately assume you're a junkie and start wibbling at you about fücking breathing exercises or some such shít.

Doctor Rich.

[Pat Vegas]

Going to sleep on planes is actually quite difficult if you hate flying.

I rarely can sleep on a plane.
Only once on a BA flight from Washington DC to London I slept the whole flight. It was a pleasant surprise when I woke up and there s 30 mins left to go. The flight really empty.

I hate when I nod off and wake up thinking I've killed some time. only to see I've been sleeping for 4 minutes.

[Peter]

Where does one even get sleeping tablets these days, though. Ask for one from a GP and he'll immediately assume you're a junkie and start wibbling at you about fücking breathing exercises or some such shít.

They don't even work. You just end up very drowsy when you eventually get off.

[Burney]

I rarely can sleep on a plane.
Only once on a BA flight from Washington DC to London I slept the whole flight. It was a pleasant surprise when I woke up and there s 30 mins left to go. The flight really empty.

I hate when I nod off and wake up thinking I've killed some time. only to see I've been sleeping for 4 minutes.

I once got about four hours on a flight back from Singapore. That's as good as it's ever got for me.