Talking of snobby spastic, I'm going for lunch tomorrow with several friends and

[Sir C]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

[Ash]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

Just offer to pay more on the split.

[IUFG]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton...

order what you like and offer to pay extra at the end. The others will be too polite to take you up on the offer.

You offered, they declined, everyone's a winner imo.

[Sir C]

order what you like and offer to pay extra at the end. The others will be too polite to take you up on the offer.

You offered, they declined, everyone's a winner imo.

:hehe: You know not of whom you speak, i.

This is probably the best plan though, thank you.

[Sir C]

Just offer to pay more on the split.

I wouldn't be in danger of sounding a little condescending?

[SWv2]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

3-5 pints before meeting up will do the trick.

[Ash]

I wouldn't be in danger of sounding a little condescending?

I think it is fairest to give them the option of whether they want to buy half your dinner or not. If they have a problem with that option than .. um ... that's their problem.

It might just encourage them to join you in top-end choices then everyone's happy.

[Luis Anaconda]

I wouldn't be in danger of sounding a little condescending?

a cheery spirit of 'fúck you' is the only polite way to do it.

Or suggest when the bill comes that everyone just pays for what they had and the waiter can go to everyone separately. They would love that

[IUFG]

3-5 pints before meeting up will do the trick.

sound advice, as always, from sw here, sc.

[Sir C]

3-5 pints before meeting up will do the trick.

Hmm. Imbibing excessively prior to meeting for lunch is potentially problematic, sw. There is a danger that one may become bemused, muddled or confused, and the possibility exists that one might behave less than impeccably - even, God help us, rudely.

An English gentleman never runs the risk of being rude, sw. You understand that, of co.....

Oh. Sorry. As you were. Back to your shamrock carving or spud picking. There's nothing to see here.

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?


Convince them that they should partake of the lobster/Dover soles?

[Sir C]

Convince them that they should partake of the lobster/Dover soles?

Most of them are too common to appreciate such fare. It would be a waste of God's good provisions.

[SWv2]

Hmm. Imbibing excessively prior to meeting for lunch is potentially problematic, sw. There is a danger that one may become bemused, muddled or confused, and the possibility exists that one might behave less than impeccably - even, God help us, rudely.

An English gentleman never runs the risk of being rude, sw. You understand that, of co.....

Oh. Sorry. As you were. Back to your shamrock carving or spud picking. There's nothing to see here.

I only said 3-5 pints homo.

[Sir C]

I only said 3-5 pints homo.

One can't be too careful.

Anyway, I reckon my bloodstream is generally running at about 12% before I start, these days :-(

[Burney]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

You know damn well you're going to do the latter.

[Sir C]

You know damn well you're going to do the latter.

The '**** you' option? Well, if you say so. I confess, it doesn't really sound much like me.

[World's End Stella]

Um, weren't you just up north celebrating her birthday in LRk amongst other places?

I would have thought at V's age once was enough. ;-)

[Burney]

The '**** you' option? Well, if you say so. I confess, it doesn't really sound much like me.

No, sorry, I meant you're going to order what you want and then pay for the lot.

[Sir C]

No, sorry, I meant you're going to order what you want and then pay for the lot.

:-( I must try to be strong. I'll never get to retire to my northern mansion if I give the fúcking stuff away.

[Sir C]

Um, weren't you just up north celebrating her birthday in LRk amongst other places?

I would have thought at V's age once was enough. ;-)

This is the third of four events :rolleyes:

[SWv2]

The '**** you' option? Well, if you say so. I confess, it doesn't really sound much like me.

Given that it is the birthday of your GLW, and a family celebration of said event, I would find such financial detail nit-picking to be petty in the extreme.

Steam in, order whatever the fúck you want and say fúck all when the bill comes. Let them sort it out.

3-5 pints in advance will help in the event of any negotiations, trust me. No whiskey, or bugle.

[World's End Stella]

This is the third of four events :rolleyes:

At the risk of being indelicate, whose family is the common one, yours or V's?

[Burney]

:-( I must try to be strong. I'll never get to retire to my northern mansion if I give the fúcking stuff away.

But imagine how you'll feel? At your wife's lunch, a bottle or so of something to the good, picking over the bill with your glasses perched on the end of your nose like some sort of bean-counting cùnt?

Really? You might as well then drive to Beachy Head and do the decent thing imo.

[Norn Iron]

A quick "Here's £x as I have ordered the most expensive food" or "let me get a round of drinks as I...." etc

[Sir C]

Given that it is the birthday of your GLW, and a family celebration of said event, I would find such financial detail nit-picking to be petty in the extreme.

Steam in, order whatever the fúck you want and say fúck all when the bill comes. Let them sort it out.

3-5 pints in advance will help in the event of any negotiations, trust me. No whiskey, or bugle.

Many years ago I went for lunch at The Savoy with my parents to celebrate their umpteenth wedding anniversary, along with my two sisters, their husbands and their children. Magnums of champagne were enjoyed by one and all. The bill was in four figures. I quietly settled it, expecting to square up with others later.

Both brothers-in-law approached me quietly afterwards, shook my hand and thanked me for the wonderful meal.

I feel like I've earnt the right, over the years, to nit-pick a bit now that I am entering my final couple of years of earning a living.

[Sir C]

But imagine how you'll feel? At your wife's lunch, a bottle or so of something to the good, picking over the bill with your glasses perched on the end of your nose like some sort of bean-counting cùnt?

Really? You might as well then drive to Beachy Head and do the decent thing imo.

:-( Oh fúck me!

And fúck you for pointing it out. :vsign:

[Sir C]

At the risk of being indelicate, whose family is the common one, yours or V's?

Neither of our families is common you jumped up little foreign shít.

That's untrue. My family has Irish ancestry so we're low enough to crawl under a rock wearing a top hat. v's family is extremely posh but has not a single vessel into which to micturate.

[SWv2]

Many years ago I went for lunch at The Savoy with my parents to celebrate their umpteenth wedding anniversary, along with my two sisters, their husbands and their children. Magnums of champagne were enjoyed by one and all. The bill was in four figures. I quietly settled it, expecting to square up with others later.

Both brothers-in-law approached me quietly afterwards, shook my hand and thanked me for the wonderful meal.

I feel like I've earnt the right, over the years, to nit-pick a bit now that I am entering my final couple of years of earning a living.

I was suggesting the nit-picking to be done by others, not you.

[Sir C]

A quick "Here's £x as I have ordered the most expensive food" or "let me get a round of drinks as I...." etc

I like that norn, ty.

[Sir C]

I was suggesting the nit-picking to be done by others, not you.

Apologies, sw.

[Burney]

:-( Oh fúck me!

And fúck you for pointing it out. :vsign:

My dear chap, I'm just trying to save you from becoming everything you hate. I do it out of love.

And a sense of mischief, obvs. :-D

[SWv2]

I like that norn, ty.

You do realise Norn is essentially, and I say this with no malice, a dirty protestant so effectively £x is £5, and he may look for change.

No offence Norn.

[World's End Stella]

Neither of our families is common you jumped up little foreign shít.

That's untrue. My family has Irish ancestry so we're low enough to crawl under a rock wearing a top hat. v's family is extremely posh but has not a single vessel into which to micturate.

I am in no way being judgmental, Charles. Mrs WES is from Essex and I am extracted from educated, middle class colonials so I have no pretence in this regard.

Of course, I assumed V was the posh one. :-)

[Sir C]

You do realise Norn is essentially, and I say this with no malice, a dirty protestant so effectively £x is £5, and he may look for change.

No offence Norn.

:hehe: Bejaysus but you fellas love the craic!

[Sir C]

I am in no way being judgmental, Charles. Mrs WES is from Essex and I am extracted from educated, middle class colonials so I have no pretence in this regard.

Of course, I assumed V was the posh one. :-)

:nod: She is of the sort of stock which finds money so dreadfully vulgar, they haven't actually had any for 300 years.

[Sir C]

My dear chap, I'm just trying to save you from becoming everything you hate. I do it out of love.

And a sense of mischief, obvs. :-D

Check out this bad boy.

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/43577616?search_identifier=8686d57af8d9f1c84bf313d 7507eb23d#cml0JDFjur03f1cx.97

[Norn Iron]

You do realise Norn is essentially, and I say this with no malice, a dirty protestant so effectively £x is £5, and he may look for change.

No offence Norn.

I'd give a tenner at least. 10 GBP, it'd be worth at least 30 euros to you boys :p

[SWv2]

I'd give a tenner at least. 10 GBP, it'd be worth at least 30 euros to you boys :p

I was up in Warrenpoint two weeks ago. Pint of Guinness, large red wine and 2 x coca cola - £11 and loose change.

A similar round had stung me for €18 of our Euros the previous weekend in a pub in Dublin 16.

:-(

I got myself a few more pints given the saving I was making.

[Burney]

Check out this bad boy.

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/43577616?search_identifier=8686d57af8d9f1c84bf313d 7507eb23d#cml0JDFjur03f1cx.97

Can't say I know the neck of the woods. Smashing view, though.

[Luis Anaconda]

Can't say I know the neck of the woods. Smashing view, though.

Pah. Can't even see the Thames. Richmond - *******s more like

[SWv2]

Check out this bad boy.

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/43577616?search_identifier=8686d57af8d9f1c84bf313d 7507eb23d#cml0JDFjur03f1cx.97

It appears to be in Yorkshire.

You could invite J over for tea.

[Sir C]

It appears to be in Yorkshire.

You could invite J over for tea.

I think his principles would stop him entering my filthy capitalistic house. Property is theft, you know.

[World's End Stella]

I think his principles would stop him entering my filthy capitalistic house. Property is theft, you know.

He might be tempted if you offered to exchange views on the tragic news that is the retirement of HRH D of E.

If it happens, can I see the video?

[redgunamo]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

The one who made the invitation is paying; proper order. Enjoy your oysters.

[Ash]

Check out this bad boy.

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/43577616?search_identifier=8686d57af8d9f1c84bf313d 7507eb23d#cml0JDFjur03f1cx.97

Something to question about property in Yorkshire is how many months a year is it underwater?

[Sir C]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

Lunch report: Black Velvet, oysters, Dover Sole, Chocolate Marquis. Excellent in every respect. Service exceptional. Lunch evolved into a 10 hour drinking session. There was even some cider. Allin all, a successful day.

[IUFG]

Lunch report: Black Velvet, oysters, Dover Sole, Chocolate Marquis. Excellent in every respect. Service exceptional. Lunch evolved into a 10 hour drinking session. There was even some cider. Allin all, a successful day.

how was the bill split?

[Sir C]

how was the bill split?

Oh, I paid it. There was never any other likely outcome, I'm afraid. :-(

[IUFG]

Oh, I paid it. There was never any other likely outcome, I'm afraid. :-(

you're a soft touch, sc.

[Sir C]

you're a soft touch, sc.

I'm a idiot, i. But I suppose it's important for a chap to remain true to himself.

[Pokster]

It's in North Yorkshire so J wouldn't be welcome

[SWv2]

Oh, I paid it. There was never any other likely outcome, I'm afraid. :-(

Would black velvet be seen as a normal beverage to accompany seafood or is this merely a personal thing?

[Sir C]

Would black velvet be seen as a normal beverage to accompany seafood or is this merely a personal thing?

It's traditional with oysters. To be honest it may become my drink of choice on those infrequent occasions I am in a pub and ordering beer feels appropriate.

[SWv2]

It's traditional with oysters. To be honest it may become my drink of choice on those infrequent occasions I am in a pub and ordering beer feels appropriate.

Perhaps troublesome unless you have a partner in crime as a bar may be unwilling to open a bottle of champagne in such an event.

You could of course simply commit to leathering the whole thing.

:-\

[Sir C]

Perhaps troublesome unless you have a partner in crime as a bar may be unwilling to open a bottle of champagne in such an event.

You could of course simply commit to leathering the whole thing.

:-\

Pubs don't sell champagne by the glass? :-(

[eastgermanautos]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

Here's what I do bro. I invited people to this famous LA bar, Musso and Frank. I tell them that the creamed carrots are absolutely on me. Have as much as you want, sh!theels. Beyond that, drinks etc., piss off. But you know what, they're okay with that. Them creamed carrots are delicious as fvck.

[Sir C]

Here's what I do bro. I invited people to this famous LA bar, Musso and Frank. I tell them that the creamed carrots are absolutely on me. Have as much as you want, sh!theels. Beyond that, drinks etc., piss off. But you know what, they're okay with that. Them creamed carrots are delicious as fvck.

Creamed. Carrots.

What fresh hell is this?

[Luis Anaconda]

Pubs don't sell champagne by the glass? :-(

I was at a birthday dinner on Saturday. The waitress came round to take our order and the options were.
Asparagus with schnitzel; asparagus with ham; asparagus with zander

Note: not schnitzel with asparagus etc - the normal way round. Plates came and there was some potatoes on one side, schnitzel on the other and five massive pieces of white asparagus taking up the whole middle of the plate. Needless to say I ate the meat and potatoes and ****ed the asparagus out the window. Germans are odd.

Unlimited quantities of the finest Weißbier I have ever tasted so wd the pub for that though

[Sir C]

I was at a birthday dinner on Saturday. The waitress came round to take our order and the options were.
Asparagus with schnitzel; asparagus with ham; asparagus with zander

Note: not schnitzel with asparagus etc - the normal way round. Plates came and there was some potatoes on one side, schnitzel on the other and five massive pieces of white asparagus taking up the whole middle of the plate. Needless to say I ate the meat and potatoes and ****ed the asparagus out the window. Germans are odd.

Unlimited quantities of the finest Weißbier I have ever tasted so wd the pub for that though

Oh I do love the Spargelzeit, la. :cloud9:

[Burney]

Oh I do love the Spargelzeit, la. :cloud9:

White asparagus. :-( Will never understand the foreign obsession with the stuff. Green asparagus - delicious. White asparagus - flavourless, mushy and bland.

[Sir C]

White asparagus. :-( Will never understand the foreign obsession with the stuff. Green asparagus - delicious. White asparagus - flavourless, mushy and bland.

I love it. I've been known to eat it from a tin.

[redgunamo]

White asparagus. :-( Will never understand the foreign obsession with the stuff. Green asparagus - delicious. White asparagus - flavourless, mushy and bland.

That's mostly zee Chermans, isn't it?

[redgunamo]

I was at a birthday dinner on Saturday. The waitress came round to take our order and the options were.
Asparagus with schnitzel; asparagus with ham; asparagus with zander

Note: not schnitzel with asparagus etc - the normal way round. Plates came and there was some potatoes on one side, schnitzel on the other and five massive pieces of white asparagus taking up the whole middle of the plate. Needless to say I ate the meat and potatoes and ****ed the asparagus out the window. Germans are odd.

Unlimited quantities of the finest Weißbier I have ever tasted so wd the pub for that though

Zander? The fish? :-(

[eastgermanautos]

Creamed. Carrots.

What fresh hell is this?

It's goes well with martinis.

[Luis Anaconda]

White asparagus. :-( Will never understand the foreign obsession with the stuff. Green asparagus - delicious. White asparagus - flavourless, mushy and bland.

Precisely - I did try a bite but there was nothing to taste. Everyone else was covering it in sauce but quite frankly if you are only tasting the sauce what is the point? I say everybody - the two vegans sat opposite me didn't have Spargel in the vegan option. But Vegans in Bavaria ffs. There was a conversation on the best types of vegan "milk" (oat was favourite, since you ask). They didn't appreciate me initiating a debate on whether vegans can drink human milk and if so could you market it.

[Burney]

That's mostly zee Chermans, isn't it?

Dutch, too. And yer frogs seem to go for it as well

[Luis Anaconda]

Zander? The fish? :-(

Yes, I was surprised that was an option. Tend not to go for fish dishes here. Long way to the sea