View Full Version : I believe I have arm cancer.
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:09 AM
Possibly arm aids. Anyway, something is causing me pain in the upper arms. I clearly need a referral to my local private hospital, but to get one I must visit my GP.
The next appointment available is on 19th April.
I pay NIC for this shít?
Rich, could you please just write me a referral letter to the Chelsfield Park Hospital?
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:11 AM
Possibly arm aids. Anyway, something is causing me pain in the upper arms. I clearly need a referral to my local private hospital, but to get one I must visit my GP.
The next appointment available is on 19th April.
I pay NIC for this shít?
Rich, could you please just write me a referral letter to the Chelsfield Park Hospital?
Both upper arms? It could be a double heart attack imo.
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:14 AM
Both upper arms? It could be a double heart attack imo.
Can an infarct go on for 6 months? I've never heard of such a thing.
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:16 AM
Can an infarct go on for 6 months? I've never heard of such a thing.
Probably not. It could be the running, of course. All that arm-pumping catching up with you.
Do you lift?
Viva Prat Vegas
04-05-2017, 10:21 AM
Can an infarct go on for 6 months? I've never heard of such a thing.
IF you have pins and needles you are having a Mike Parry
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:22 AM
IF you have pins and needles you are having a Mike Parry
Oh, that's reminded me of a video that I couldn't stop laughing at.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLWWx2FEzuE
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:22 AM
Probably not. It could be the running, of course. All that arm-pumping catching up with you.
Do you lift?
I did some lifting but stopped when both my arms apparently snapped above the elbow. They don't seem to be fixing themselves.
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:24 AM
I did some lifting but stopped when both my arms apparently snapped above the elbow. They don't seem to be fixing themselves.
Ah. What you've done - and excuse me using the technical term - is fùcked your arms. :nod:
You'll receive my invoice for this consultation shortly. Good day.
Viva Prat Vegas
04-05-2017, 10:34 AM
I did it with a stick of cinnamon
Nothing happened
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:35 AM
Ah. What you've done - and excuse me using the technical term - is fùcked your arms. :nod:
You'll receive my invoice for this consultation shortly. Good day.
I can get an online appointment with a doctor for £7! I'm going to give it a go.
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:35 AM
I can get an online appointment with a doctor for £7! I'm going to give it a go.
Can you check his bona fides beforehand?
It'll be tendonitis, btw.
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:36 AM
I did it with a stick of cinnamon
Nothing happened
I used to like chewing cinnamon sticks as a kid. Odd, really.
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:41 AM
Can you check his bona fides beforehand?
It'll be tendonitis, btw.
I don't care about his boner, I just want a referral letter.
It ain't tendons, it's bonular I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:44 AM
I don't care about his boner, I just want a referral letter.
It ain't tendons, it's bonular I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.
That's because tendons are attached to your bones, mate. I have rotator cuff tendonitis in my shoulder that flares up when I throw balls or serve in tennis. Makes it go all weak and hurty.
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:47 AM
That's because tendons are attached to your bones, mate. I have rotator cuff tendonitis in my shoulder that flares up when I throw balls or serve in tennis. Makes it go all weak and hurty.
Why are you trying to hijack my armbone cancer?
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:50 AM
Why are you trying to hijack my armbone cancer?
I'm trying to reassure you that you aren't in mortal danger or in need of a double arm-putation like the friend I am. :shrug:
Sir C
04-05-2017, 10:52 AM
I'm trying to reassure you that you aren't in mortal danger or in need of a double arm-putation like the friend I am. :shrug:
:-( I was hoping for three months in a quiet hospital bed and years of sympathy afterwards :-(
Viva Prat Vegas
04-05-2017, 10:55 AM
arm-putation
8-) 8-)
Burney
04-05-2017, 10:55 AM
:-( I was hoping for three months in a quiet hospital bed and years of sympathy afterwards :-(
You could get robot arms. They're pretty cool these days.
Viva Prat Vegas
04-05-2017, 11:00 AM
You could get robot arms. They're pretty cool these days.
Sir C would have to take them off when going through airport security before a package holiday to Marbs
Burney
04-05-2017, 11:04 AM
Sir C would have to take them off when going through airport security before a package holiday to Marbs
How the fück is he going to take them both off, ffs?
Viva Prat Vegas
04-05-2017, 11:10 AM
How the fück is he going to take them both off, ffs?
Swing both arms in reverse to undo the screws far enough to drop off from the aged body
I used to like chewing cinnamon sticks as a kid. Odd, really.
Did you ever try smoking them? There was a theory that you could get a buzz. I'm fairly sure I never did but it didn't stop me from keeping trying. :-|
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