If I went on a date with that Amelia chicken shop lady

[Sir C]

I'd take her to a nice restaurant, not a chicken shop.

That is why I'm such a big hit with the girls.

[Burney]

I'd take her to a nice restaurant, not a chicken shop.

That is why I'm such a big hit with the girls.

Would the Michelin stars be any compensation for your tiny, withered member and dormant libido, though? :-(

[Sir C]

Would the Michelin stars be any compensation for your tiny, withered member and dormant libido, though? :-(

Probably not, but I'd be hoping that she might at least be tempted to show me her boobies. As a sort of reward, see?

[Burney]

Probably not, but I'd be hoping that she might at least be tempted to show me her boobies. As a sort of reward, see?

That would seem reasonable. You might even get a feel of them.

[redgunamo]

Probably not, but I'd be hoping that she might at least be tempted to show me her boobies. As a sort of reward, see?

Oh, I gather chicken shops are just fine for that sort of thing.

[Sir C]

That would seem reasonable. You might even get a feel of them.

Dear God man, what are you suggesting? I'm a married man, for Christ's sake!

Just a little look, that's all I'd ask.

[Sir C]

Oh, I gather chicken shops are just fine for that sort of thing.

Can I be sure that all these chicken shops only use free range chicken, r?

[redgunamo]

Can I be sure that all these chicken shops only use free range chicken, r?

I'd be surprised if any of them used any "chicken" at all :-\

[Burney]

Dear God man, what are you suggesting? I'm a married man, for Christ's sake!

Just a little look, that's all I'd ask.

I don't think a feel infringes the marriage vows, does it? :-(

[Monty92]

I don't think a feel infringes the marriage vows, does it? :-(

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

[Burney]

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

No, not for me. If he'd met someone in a club and snogged her I'd say that was worse than slobbering on a stripper.

[Pokster]

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

What goes on tour stays on tour... and she wasn't his missus..... so he can say he has never cheated on his wife

[Sir C]

I still recall looking over at my slightly priggish mate on his stag do in Barcelona as he feverishly sucked on and groped a stripper's tits and wondering how he was going to convince himself he'd not cheated on his missus.

Wasn't he concerned about saliva from customers earlier in the evening infesting the boobies? Perhaps he isn't worried about licking strangers' dried saliva. Might explain why he had a temperature. :shrood:

[Monty92]

No, not for me. If he'd met someone in a club and snogged her I'd say that was worse than slobbering on a stripper.

Pfffffff!

So going to a prostitute on a stag do wouldn't be cheating either?

[Burney]

Pfffffff!

So going to a prostitute on a stag do wouldn't be cheating either?

Of course. That's actual sex. A stripper is more like a performance art piece. It's a sort of sexual theatre in a controlled environment where each side knows they're not actually going to have sex.

Not my cup of tea, but I wouldn't call it cheating.

[Burney]

Wasn't he concerned about saliva from customers earlier in the evening infesting the boobies? Perhaps he isn't worried about licking strangers' dried saliva. Might explain why he had a temperature. :shrood:

I wouldn't go near these dirty ladies, personally.

[Sir C]

I wouldn't go near these dirty ladies, personally.

I'm generally rather a fan of the stripper. I've had some of the nicest conversations with strippers. In multiple countries, on three continents, as well. wd strippers.

Thank God I don't have to go through it all at monthly intervals any more. Apart from anything else it took years off my liver :-(

[Monty92]

Of course. That's actual sex. A stripper is more like a performance art piece. It's a sort of sexual theatre in a controlled environment where each side knows they're not actually going to have sex.

Not my cup of tea, but I wouldn't call it cheating.

Titty sucking is tangible sexual activity, so I would argue that's cheating. I agree that watching a stripper is not cheating any more than watching porn is.

[Burney]

I'm generally rather a fan of the stripper. I've had some of the nicest conversations with strippers. In multiple countries, on three continents, as well. wd strippers.

Thank God I don't have to go through it all at monthly intervals any more. Apart from anything else it took years off my liver :-(

So you've told me. I have no real feelings on strippers, tbh. My exposure to them (and theirs to me - ha!) has been fairly minimal.

[Burney]

Titty sucking is tangible sexual activity, so I would argue that's cheating. I agree that watching a stripper is not cheating any more than watching porn is.

What if he'd licked her legs instead? Would that be sexual activity?

I just think your definitions are getting a bit arbitrary here.

[Sir C]

So you've told me. I have no real feelings on strippers, tbh. My exposure to them (and theirs to me - ha!) has been fairly minimal.

Good timez, b.

[Luis Anaconda]

So you've told me. I have no real feelings on strippers, tbh. My exposure to them (and theirs to me - ha!) has been fairly minimal.

I met won once whose day job was as in the costume department at the Royal Opera House. I rather liked the juxtaposition of the two roles. At least that's what she said

[Sir C]

What if he'd licked her legs instead? Would that be sexual activity?

I just think your definitions are getting a bit arbitrary here.

Oh, I wouldn't recommend it. Not at all. They get quite dreadfully sweaty on the pole, you know.

[Sir C]

I met won once whose day job was as in the costume department at the Royal Opera House. I rather liked the juxtaposition of the two roles. At least that's what she said

I bet she juxtaposed your roles, eh? Eh? Amirite?

[Luis Anaconda]

I bet she juxtaposed your roles, eh? Eh? Amirite?

:nod: :highfive: