So how will you treat your valentine tonight?

[World's End Stella]

Mrs WES will not get a card or flowers.

Mrs WES will get a best end of lamb with roasting juices, sautéed potatoes, asparagus, Laurent Perrier rose champagne, Charbonnet and Walker truffles and my massive cock.

Lucky Mrs WES.

[SWv2]

I won't.

I think the whole thing is *******s to be fair and luckily my Mrs, being a functioning adult, tends to concur.

[HomerJ]

My missus will get peace and quiet as I am out at a meeting

[Pokster]

Mrs WES will not get a card or flowers.

Mrs WES will get a best end of lamb with roasting juices, sautéed potatoes, asparagus, Laurent Perrier rose champagne, Charbonnet and Walker truffles and my massive cock.

Lucky Mrs WES.

She will get a good 90 minutes.....



as I will be watching PSG v Barca

[World's End Stella]

I won't.

I think the whole thing is *******s to be fair and luckily my Mrs, being a functioning adult, tends to concur.

Not even a shag, SW? Or is that your present to her?

[Sir C]

Mrs WES will not get a card or flowers.

Mrs WES will get a best end of lamb with roasting juices, sautéed potatoes, asparagus, Laurent Perrier rose champagne, Charbonnet and Walker truffles and my massive cock.

Lucky Mrs WES.

What passes between me and Mrs C is known only to us and to the stars. Our love is a sanctification of all existence, not a matter for your titillation.

[Burney]

Mrs WES will not get a card or flowers.

Mrs WES will get a best end of lamb with roasting juices, sautéed potatoes, asparagus, Laurent Perrier rose champagne, Charbonnet and Walker truffles and my massive cock.

Lucky Mrs WES.

She got flowers and a card and she should be grateful I've even gone that far, tbh. Tonight I will cook steak, we will doubtless watch an episode of Quarry and then get a decent night's kip.

Load of old shîte.

[SWv2]

Not even a shag, SW? Or is that your present to her?

I don’t need it to be February 14th to desperately plead for a shag, the demands of the media and modern society do not dictate to me.

I recall the excitement of this day when a young teenager, to rush home from school in a state of nervous anticipation to be met with no cards in the post, none. To then move on and when asked by mates to of course answer in the region of 5, perhaps 6 if you wanted to include the tarty girl from the big estate who would always allow you to put your hand inside her jumper.

Now I am nearly 50. I shall watch Champions League football perhaps and at this point I have no idea what my dinner will be. Whatever it is I can ensure you it will be based on minimum effort.

[Burney]

What passes between me and Mrs C is known only to us and to the stars. Our love is a sanctification of all existence, not a matter for your titillation.

I'm right off sex now that I've been forced to visualise WES hammering away noisily, doubtless gushing torrents of sweat from every pore.

His poor wife must need a snorkel. And earplugs.

[Sir C]

I don’t need it to be February 14th to desperately plead for a shag, the demands of the media and modern society do not dictate to me.

I recall the excitement of this day when a young teenager, to rush home from school in a state of nervous anticipation to be met with no cards in the post, none. To then move on and when asked by mates to of course answer in the region of 5, perhaps 6 if you wanted to include the tarty girl from the big estate who would always allow you to put your hand inside her jumper.

Now I am nearly 50. I shall watch Champions League football perhaps and at this point I have no idea what my dinner will be. Whatever it is I can ensure you it will be based on minimum effort.

"Now some guys they just give up livin'
And start dyin' little by little
Piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go racin' in the street"

Of course it should be remembered that our protagonist, unable to find what he seeks on the strip, eventually "rides to the sea" to "wash these sins from our hands", a clear metaphor for suicide.

So perhaps ceasing to care about anything, becoming a cold, dessicated husk of what was once human, and choosing to schlubb in front of the TV has its merits after all.

[Luis Anaconda]

I don’t need it to be February 14th to desperately plead for a shag, the demands of the media and modern society do not dictate to me.

I recall the excitement of this day when a young teenager, to rush home from school in a state of nervous anticipation to be met with no cards in the post, none. To then move on and when asked by mates to of course answer in the region of 5, perhaps 6 if you wanted to include the tarty girl from the big estate who would always allow you to put your hand inside her jumper.

Now I am nearly 50. I shall watch Champions League football perhaps and at this point I have no idea what my dinner will be. Whatever it is I can ensure you it will be based on minimum effort.

I get to spend it watching football and drinking with Withnail and Lar - what more could one want

[Sir C]

I'm right off sex now that I've been forced to visualise WES hammering away noisily, doubtless gushing torrents of sweat from every pore.

His poor wife must need a snorkel. And earplugs.

He is a big lad and hardly what one would describe as co-ordinated, so one imagines she must be a powerful lady to cope.

One is reminded of the Reginald D Hunter line, "I was at a party and I saw this girl I liked, she had a big ass and titties, you know. Looked like she could take a pounding."

[Sir C]

I get to spend it watching football and drinking with Withnail and Lar - what more could one want

One can only hope that Aphrodite will work her magic on this special day, and that the evening will end with the three of you in a writhing, sweaty mess of limbs and genitals.

Now that is an image with which to conjure.

Back in 5.

[Burney]

I get to spend it watching football and drinking with Withnail and Lar - what more could one want

Hey, a threesome's a threesome, la. :thumbup:

[World's End Stella]

I'm right off sex now that I've been forced to visualise WES hammering away noisily, doubtless gushing torrents of sweat from every pore.

His poor wife must need a snorkel. And earplugs.

I understand this view, Burney, but it is misguided.

Mrs WES does all the screaming such is the size of my engorged member, and for whatever reason, as sweaty a f@cker as I am in normal life, when engaged in sexual congress I sweat not one bead. Marvellous thing is the human body.

[SWv2]

I get to spend it watching football and drinking with Withnail and Lar - what more could one want

I was going to ask who you were expecting in town.

[Pat Vegas]

I understand this view, Burney, but it is misguided.

Mrs WES does all the screaming such is the size of my engorged member, and for whatever reason, as sweaty a f@cker as I am in normal life, when engaged in sexual congress I sweat not one bead. Marvellous thing is the human body.

It's all a bit graphic on here this morning.

[SWv2]

"Now some guys they just give up livin'
And start dyin' little by little
Piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go racin' in the street"

Of course it should be remembered that our protagonist, unable to find what he seeks on the strip, eventually "rides to the sea" to "wash these sins from our hands", a clear metaphor for suicide.

So perhaps ceasing to care about anything, becoming a cold, dessicated husk of what was once human, and choosing to schlubb in front of the TV has its merits after all.

I care about a lot of things, I just don't get fooled into silly sh*t like Valentines Day and indeed most other "events" created by media and card companies such as Mothers and Fathers day. They are *******s.

Birthdays I do.

Springsteen I assume??

[Sir C]

I care about a lot of things, I just don't get fooled into silly sh*t like Valentines Day and indeed most other "events" created by media and card companies such as Mothers and Fathers day. They are *******s.

Birthdays I do.

Springsteen I assume??

:nod: Racing In The Street. From Darkness On The Edge Of Town, 1978.

His finest album, I think.

[Burney]

It's all a bit graphic on here this morning.

On balance, I think I was less nauseated by Monty scraping shït out of his daughter's vagina.

[Pat Vegas]

On balance, I think I was less nauseated by Monty scraping shït out of his daughter's vagina.

Monty has been using that trick for years.

[World's End Stella]

He is a big lad and hardly what one would describe as co-ordinated, so one imagines she must be a powerful lady to cope.

One is reminded of the Reginald D Hunter line, "I was at a party and I saw this girl I liked, she had a big ass and titties, you know. Looked like she could take a pounding."

Bloody cheek. One look at you, Charles, and a chap can see that you are hopeless at sport. It oozes out of you.

WES, on the other hand, is a sporting god. Football, basketball, hockey, golf - pretty much any sport you can name I would excel at.

Pick a sport and even if I have never played it in my life, I shall give you a good thrashing at it. The gauntlet has been thrown down, harrumph.

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

What passes between me and Mrs C is known only to us and to the stars. Our love is a sanctification of all existence, not a matter for your titillation.

She'll be shagging Berni the

[Pokster]

Bloody cheek. One look at you, Charles, and a chap can see that you are hopeless at sport. It oozes out of you.

WES, on the other hand, is a sporting god. Football, basketball, hockey, golf - pretty much any sport you can name I would excel at.

Pick a sport and even if I have never played it in my life, I shall give you a good thrashing at it. The gauntlet has been thrown down, harrumph.

You are a North Korean dictator and I claim my £5... and I'd thrash you at golf

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

Mrs WES will not get a card or flowers.

Mrs WES will get a best end of lamb with roasting juices, sautéed potatoes, asparagus, Laurent Perrier rose champagne, Charbonnet and Walker truffles and my massive cock.

Lucky Mrs WES.

Same as any other night.

I do not see why one has to pull out the stops one day a year to make up for being a **** the other 364 days :shrug: