It's (sort of) still daylight outside, the birds are singing and it feels like

[Sir C]

an early spring day.

We've survived another one, haven't we? :cloud9:

[Monty92]

an early spring day.

We've survived another one, haven't we? :cloud9:

For the past four hours, I've been thinking it was an hour later than it actually is. Consequently, I now have an unexpected free hour before I have to pick up the kids.

I've literally no idea what to do with myself, Jeff. I mean, I do, obviously, but you can't string that out for a whole hour....can you?

[Sir C]

For the past four hours, I've been thinking it was an hour later than it actually is. Consequently, I now have an unexpected free hour before I have to pick up the kids.

I've literally no idea what to do with myself, Jeff. I mean, I do, obviously, but you can't string that out for a whole hour....can you?

I wouldn't know, old chap. I haven't engaged in self-poillution since I lost sexual potency around about 1983 :-(

If I were you I'd cook something. Prepare a really garlicky dauphinoise for your glw.

[Burney]

an early spring day.

We've survived another one, haven't we? :cloud9:

Mate, it's early February. We've got at least another month of shït to wade through yet. :-(

[Pat Vegas]

For the past four hours, I've been thinking it was an hour later than it actually is. Consequently, I now have an unexpected free hour before I have to pick up the kids.

I've literally no idea what to do with myself, Jeff. I mean, I do, obviously, but you can't string that out for a whole hour....can you?

Many years ago I thought it was 5:30 but it was 4:30 I got up turned off my computer and said goodbye to everyone.

They looked a bit confused but as I did it with authority they assumed it was correct.
Only half way down the corridor outside I realised my mistake and made a dilemma do I go back and look ridiculous or carry on with my error.

[Burney]

For the past four hours, I've been thinking it was an hour later than it actually is. Consequently, I now have an unexpected free hour before I have to pick up the kids.

I've literally no idea what to do with myself, Jeff. I mean, I do, obviously, but you can't string that out for a whole hour....can you?

You could do it twice? :shrug:

[Sir C]

Mate, it's early February. We've got at least another month of shït to wade through yet. :-(

:-( We have daylight, though. It may be pissing down, blowing a gale, freezing and foggy, but at least there's some light.

[Monty92]

I wouldn't know, old chap. I haven't engaged in self-poillution since I lost sexual potency around about 1983 :-(

If I were you I'd cook something. Prepare a really garlicky dauphinoise for your glw.

I always forget, is it you or Berni who has some weird moral objection to w*nking? I think it must be you, as I recall Berni admitting the first thing he did after his ball was lopped off was bash one out to check everything was still in working order.

[Burney]

:-( We have daylight, though. It may be pissing down, blowing a gale, freezing and foggy, but at least there's some light.

That's not daylight. It's just not pitch darkness.

[Burney]

I always forget, is it you or Berni who has some weird moral objection to w*nking? I think it must be you, as I recall Berni admitting the first thing he did after his ball was lopped off was bash one out to check everything was still in working order.

Something in the term 'lopped off' just made my prostate pucker. :-(

It's defffo Sir C. It probably explains why he's got an iffy prostate. Failed to clear the pipes often enough, I reckon :nod:

[Sir C]

I always forget, is it you or Berni who has some weird moral objection to w*nking? I think it must be you, as I recall Berni admitting the first thing he did after his ball was lopped off was bash one out to check everything was still in working order.

Good Lord, I have no moral objection to the act of beastliness; it is simply a matter of dignity.

I should never be able to look myself in the face again after such a sordid episode.

[Burney]

Good Lord, I have no moral objection to the act of beastliness; it is simply a matter of dignity.

I should never be able to look myself in the face again after such a sordid episode.

Also, it wasn't the 'first' thing I did. The first thing I did was watch us beat Villarreal in the CL semi final whilst off my tits on Pethedin.

[Sir C]

Also, it wasn't the 'first' thing I did. The first thing I did was watch us beat Villarreal in the CL semi final whilst off my tits on Pethedin.

Blimey, that means that when you came to my house and sufflated vast quantities of cocaine as we lost to Barcelona in the final, the scars weres till fresh?

I can't help thinking we should have looked after you a little better.

[Monty92]

Blimey, that means that when you came to my house and sufflated vast quantities of cocaine as we lost to Barcelona in the final, the scars weres till fresh?

I can't help thinking we should have looked after you a little better.

Didn't you notice there was only one ball resting on your chin?

[Pat Vegas]

Didn't you notice there was only one ball resting on your chin?

oooh monty has done you there.

don't have it Sir C/ Berni, tell him outside the school gates (monty can often be found there). perhaps insult his mum.

[World's End Stella]

Also, it wasn't the 'first' thing I did. The first thing I did was watch us beat Villarreal in the CL semi final whilst off my tits on Pethedin.

Charles doesn't have a 'weak stream', does he Burney?

I read an article about a chap that had nasty prostate cancer. He discovered it because while he was in the Gents at a pub taking a piss, the bloke next to him noticed how weak his stream of piss was and mentioned it as possibly being cancer related.

Not the sort of thing you'd want to hear for multiple reasons. :-\

[Burney]

Blimey, that means that when you came to my house and sufflated vast quantities of cocaine as we lost to Barcelona in the final, the scars weres till fresh?

I can't help thinking we should have looked after you a little better.

Yup. But it was fine. I was pretty much all healed up by then.
I remember the chap in the bed next to mine on the ward (whom I vaguely knew) had painful cysts all over his *******s and was told they were inoperable and that he'd just have to live with them. I figured I'd rather my problem than his and got on with watching the football.

[Sir C]

Didn't you notice there was only one ball resting on your chin?

One rarely engages in sexual activities after partaking of the Bolivian marching powder, my naive young chap.

Furthermore, I was hardly going to nosh the man off a week after his operation, was I? An intense orgasm have blown the other one off, for all love.

[Burney]

Charles doesn't have a 'weak stream', does he Burney?

I read an article about a chap that had nasty prostate cancer. He discovered it because while he was in the Gents at a pub taking a piss, the bloke next to him noticed how weak his stream of piss was and mentioned it as possibly being cancer related.

Not the sort of thing you'd want to hear for multiple reasons. :-\

Sir C is forever moaning about his prostate on here. I can't speak as to his stream as, while we have on occasion micturated together, I wouldn't dream of paying attention to such a thing.

[Sir C]

Charles doesn't have a 'weak stream', does he Burney?

I read an article about a chap that had nasty prostate cancer. He discovered it because while he was in the Gents at a pub taking a piss, the bloke next to him noticed how weak his stream of piss was and mentioned it as possibly being cancer related.

Not the sort of thing you'd want to hear for multiple reasons. :-\

I am resigned to it getting me in the end. It's just a question of when.

[Burney]

One rarely engages in sexual activities after partaking of the Bolivian marching powder, my naive young chap.

Furthermore, I was hardly going to nosh the man off a week after his operation, was I? An intense orgasm have blown the other one off, for all love.

Oooh, look at you reckoning you could induce an intense orgasm. Fancy yourself a bit, don't you?

[Sir C]

oooh monty has done you there.

don't have it Sir C/ Berni, tell him outside the school gates (monty can often be found there). perhaps insult his mum.

I'll knock his **** in.

[Pat Vegas]

I'll knock his **** in.

Is it true Monty's mum is Dorian from Birds of a Feather.
Or have I got something mixed up?

[Sir C]

Oooh, look at you reckoning you could induce an intense orgasm. Fancy yourself a bit, don't you?

I've never had any complaints in that department, I can tell you.

[Sir C]

Is it true Monty's mum is Dorian from Birds of a Feather.
Or have I got something mixed up?

Imagine Maureen Lipman with a moustache. And a fair sized cock.

[World's End Stella]

I've never had any complaints in that department, I can tell you.

Bloke who had bad prostate cancer had it removed, his prostate I mean. They might have cut other bits out as well as the doctors told him that without the surgery he had a 90% chance of only living a few years it was so aggressive.

It rendered him impotent and incontinent at quite an early age. So there are always options, Charles. :thumbup:

[Pat Vegas]

Imagine Maureen Lipman with a moustache. And a fair sized cock.

:hehe: It just makes me picture some sort of Mexican bandit type character.

I probably shouldn't say that as it's not correct to say things about Mexicans

[PSRB]

an early spring day.

We've survived another one, haven't we? :cloud9:

The ****ing Canada Geese are back outside our office, driving us mad with the constant "Honk, honk, honk". Oh how I hate them!

[Pat Vegas]

The ****ing Canada Geese are back outside our office, driving us mad with the constant "Honk, honk, honk". Oh how I hate them!

bloody canadians.

[redgunamo]

:hehe: It just makes me picture some sort of Mexican bandit type character.

I probably shouldn't say that as it's not correct to say things about Mexicans

Or even bandits nowadays.

NTTAWWI, imo.