The idea of 'pardoning' a turkey at Thanksgiving confuses me.

[Sir C]

Pardoning the bird suggests that its demise would have been a punishment of retribution for some crime, surely? What crime have the turkeys of America committed then?

Also on Thanksgiving, it happens on a Thursday, right? And Amerikans don't really have holidays or time off work. I bet the daft bástards all go in on Friday. :hehe: :clap:

[Pat Vegas]

Pardoning the bird suggests that its demise would have been a punishment of retribution for some crime, surely? What crime have the turkeys of America committed then?

Also on Thanksgiving, it happens on a Thursday, right? And Amerikans don't really have holidays or time off work. I bet the daft bástards all go in on Friday. :hehe: :clap:

Nah they are too busy tomorrow, fighting at walmart over stuff they don't really want.

[redgunamo]

Pardoning the bird suggests that its demise would have been a punishment of retribution for some crime, surely? What crime have the turkeys of America committed then?

Also on Thanksgiving, it happens on a Thursday, right? And Amerikans don't really have holidays or time off work. I bet the daft bástards all go in on Friday. :hehe: :clap:

It's all banter, I think. Just a bit of fun.

The reprieved birds only have about twenty more minutes to live regardless, as that's all they're bred for.

[Sir C]

It's all banter, I think. Just a bit of fun.

The reprieved birds only have about twenty more minutes to live regardless, as that's all they're bred for.

I had a couple of those standard white jobs, bred for meat, and they lived happily for 10 years or so, although they were so obese they could barely waddle around.

The male bird was extremely aggressive and used to masturbate on the lawn. Turkeys produce an alarming quantity of semen.

[Ash]

Pardoning the bird suggests that its demise would have been a punishment of retribution for some crime, surely? What crime have the turkeys of America committed then?


Turkeys are supposed to be the closest descendants of dinosaurs, right? And those dinosaurs would have been bad-asses, presumably, so it must be some sort of sins-of-the-father thing, somewhat extrapolated.

[Burney]

I had a couple of those standard white jobs, bred for meat, and they lived happily for 10 years or so, although they were so obese they could barely waddle around.

The male bird was extremely aggressive and used to masturbate on the lawn. Turkeys produce an alarming quantity of semen.

How does a creature with no hands masturbate?

[Sir C]

How does a creature with no hands masturbate?

He rubbed itself on the grass. He made a sort of slapping, slurping sound. Quite disturbing, really. He was most aggressive to me because he saw the glw of the time as one of his women, and attacked me whenever I entered the garden; when she went outside he immediately waddled over and rubbed himself against her leg until he spunked on her shoes.

Strange times, in retrospect.

[Bergkamp Was Best]

How does a creature with no hands masturbate?

There a must a clip somewhere on You Tube...

[Burney]

He rubbed itself on the grass. He made a sort of slapping, slurping sound. Quite disturbing, really. He was most aggressive to me because he saw the glw of the time as one of his women, and attacked me whenever I entered the garden; when she went outside he immediately waddled over and rubbed himself against her leg until he spunked on her shoes.

Strange times, in retrospect.

How long did this usually take him? And did she just happily stand there and take it?

Funny you should mention spunk on shoes, though. I washed my hands in the loo before going out for a walk, pressing the pump thing for soap. Only halfway round my walk through Enfield did I realise that it had come out rather too forcefully and I'd been wandering around with what appeared to be jizz on my shoe.

[Burney]

There a must a clip somewhere on You Tube...


Not if this ban on non-conventional porn comes into force. :-(

[Viva Prat Vegas]

There a must a clip somewhere on You Tube...

It watches hot chicks

[Sir C]

How long did this usually take him? And did she just happily stand there and take it?

Funny you should mention spunk on shoes, though. I washed my hands in the loo before going out for a walk, pressing the pump thing for soap. Only halfway round my walk through Enfield did I realise that it had come out rather too forcefully and I'd been wandering around with what appeared to be jizz on my shoe.

Ages and ages, he had proper sexual stamina; probably 15 to 18 seconds. To be honest, when a 60lb turkey decides he's going to lean on you, there's not a lot you can do about it.

You shoe jizz probably matched your dirty old man demeanour.

[World's End Stella]

Pardoning the bird suggests that its demise would have been a punishment of retribution for some crime, surely? What crime have the turkeys of America committed then?

Also on Thanksgiving, it happens on a Thursday, right? And Amerikans don't really have holidays or time off work. I bet the daft bástards all go in on Friday. :hehe: :clap:

Sorry Charles, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. All Americans take the Thursday off and the overwhelming majority take the Friday off as well. Markets are closed Thursday and virtually inactive Friday. In fact, I seem to recall that from a transportation perspective, Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is the most active day of the year as almost all Americans go home for the holiday.

A wonderful tradition imo. The Canadian Thanksgiving is the second Monday in October, although I'm sure you knew that. :-)

[Sir C]

Sorry Charles, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. All Americans take the Thursday off and the overwhelming majority take the Friday off as well. Markets are closed Thursday and virtually inactive Friday. In fact, I seem to recall that from a transportation perspective, Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is the most active day of the year as almost all Americans go home for the holiday.

A wonderful tradition imo. The Canadian Thanksgiving is the second Monday in October, although I'm sure you knew that. :-)

What do Canadians have to be thankful for, wes? I mean, the yanqui got a great big country full of natural resources, the full spectrum of the earth's climates, a hugely varied fauna and flora and relatively few indigenous peoples to slaughter while they nicked it, but poor Canadians got 50 billion square miles of fúcking snow :-(

[Viva Prat Vegas]

A wonderful tradition imo. The Canadian Thanksgiving is the second Monday in October, although I'm sure you knew that. :-)

A day of quiet reflection, Wesley ?

[Burney]

Sorry Charles, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. All Americans take the Thursday off and the overwhelming majority take the Friday off as well. Markets are closed Thursday and virtually inactive Friday. In fact, I seem to recall that from a transportation perspective, Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is the most active day of the year as almost all Americans go home for the holiday.

A wonderful tradition imo. The Canadian Thanksgiving is the second Monday in October, although I'm sure you knew that. :-)

Is yours about fücking over the injuns as well, WES?

[World's End Stella]

Is yours about fücking over the injuns as well, WES?

Not sure if I'm honest, Burney. Is that what the Yanks is about? I thought it was all 'give thanks to God for what we have received' and that sort of thing.

We drink beer, watch football, eat turkey and pumpkin pie and fall asleep too early, much like the Yanks, I expect.

I f*cking love pumpkin pie, it must be said.

[Burney]

Not sure if I'm honest, Burney. Is that what the Yanks is about? I thought it was all 'give thanks to God for what we have received' and that sort of thing.

We drink beer, watch football, eat turkey and pumpkin pie and fall asleep too early, much like the Yanks, I expect.

I f*cking love pumpkin pie, it must be said.

Indirectly, I think that is what it's about. I think the story is basically 'Yay! The Indians helped us out, stopped us starving and in return we quite rightly wiped the filthy savages out. Have a candied yam' (whatever the fùck one of those is).

[Pat Vegas]

What do Canadians have to be thankful for, wes? I mean, the yanqui got a great big country full of natural resources, the full spectrum of the earth's climates, a hugely varied fauna and flora and relatively few indigenous peoples to slaughter while they nicked it, but poor Canadians got 50 billion square miles of fúcking snow :-(

I won't stand for this Canuck-shaming.

[Sir C]

I won't stand for this Canuck-shaming.

Sorry, f. No offence intended.

[Pat Vegas]

Sorry, f. No offence intended.

That's ok Sir C. I sat down.

I am from a confusing part of Canada. Annexed by the Scots. But the people sound Irish.

[Burney]

I won't stand for this Canuck-shaming.

Oh, we don't count you as Canadian, f. Being born in a stable doesn't make you an ass.

[Pat Vegas]

Oh, we don't count you as Canadian, f. Being born in a stable doesn't make you an ass.

I was only there for 3 years.

It's the reason I am completely **** at football.

[Burney]

I was only there for 3 years.

It's the reason I am completely **** at football.

Public school is the reason I'm shít at football. Weren't allowed to play it.

[World's End Stella]

Public school is the reason I'm shít at football. Weren't allowed to play it.

The times they are a changing, Burney.

Young master WES is at a public school that doesn't play rugby but does play football. In fact, this first quarter it is the sport of choice and they have only just finished playing Eton, so they aren't alone.

[Burney]

The times they are a changing, Burney.

Young master WES is at a public school that doesn't play rugby but does play football. In fact, this first quarter it is the sport of choice and they have only just finished playing Eton, so they aren't alone.

Oh, I know. When I went there, my school didn't have any black people in it and didn't play football. Since then, Ian Wright's son went there and Wrighty himself coached the football team at one point.
Progress of a sort, I suppose. :shrug:

[Pat Vegas]

Public school is the reason I'm shít at football. Weren't allowed to play it.

I am also going to blame my school.
The whole attitude to sports and education at the time was that if your are **** let's not help him let's keep him **** and ignore him and concentrate no the good wons.

We played football at school all the tine. During PE or Games lessons why didn't the teacher come over and say young fash rather than running around like a idiot.

Stay in this position and do this and only this. We had the Arsenal bods come to the school for training for a term. then my penalty was saved by a girl.

We got to go to Highbury though.