I feel sick. Was walking down to Clerkenwell from Angel last night and a dog ran past

[Monty92]

me followed by a fat lad screaming “Eleanor, please! Come back! Someone grab the dog!”

I gave chase for about 10 minutes but she got away from us. She thought it was a game so just kept stopping, waiting for us to catch up and then run away again. The bloke was mortified. Said it wasn’t even his dog. Imagine having to tell the owner?

I can only hope someone will pick her up and take her to a pound or something, assuming she didn't meet a grisly end underneath a hipster's unicycle.

On another note, I am definitely very unfit. I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma :-(

[Pat Vegas]

me followed by a fat lad screaming “Eleanor, please! Come back! Someone grab the dog!”

I gave chase for about 10 minutes but she got away from us. She thought it was a game so just kept stopping, waiting for us to catch up and then run away again. The bloke was mortified. Said it wasn’t even his dog. Imagine having to tell the owner?

I can only hope someone will pick her up and take her to a pound or something, assuming she didn't meet a grisly end underneath a hipster's unicycle.

On another note, I am definitely very unfit. I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma :-(

What's happened monty? You were a fine specimen when I met you at the 5-a-side.
Though that was a while ago.

[Burney]

I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma

:hehe: Some stereotypically Jewish hypochondria, there.

What sort of cünt calls a dog Eleanor, anyway? :shrug:

[Monty92]

What's happened monty? You were a fine specimen when I met you at the 5-a-side.
Though that was a while ago.

Kids, work, hernia, Uber.

[Pat Vegas]

Kids, work, hernia, Uber.

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

[Sir C]

me followed by a fat lad screaming “Eleanor, please! Come back! Someone grab the dog!”

I gave chase for about 10 minutes but she got away from us. She thought it was a game so just kept stopping, waiting for us to catch up and then run away again. The bloke was mortified. Said it wasn’t even his dog. Imagine having to tell the owner?

I can only hope someone will pick her up and take her to a pound or something, assuming she didn't meet a grisly end underneath a hipster's unicycle.

On another note, I am definitely very unfit. I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma :-(

It seems odd to have a pet dog when you live in a city. Dogs don't want to be in cities, they are animals of the plains, the forests and the mountains.

Sometimes humanity's cruelties make me weep.

[Monty92]

:hehe: Some stereotypically Jewish hypochondria, there.

What sort of cünt calls a dog Eleanor, anyway? :shrug:

It wasn't hypochondria, I literally couldn't breath, Jeff! The inhaler was a life saver. Couple of puffs and I was right as rain and back on to the beers*

*one bottle of Asahi

[Burney]

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

I got the app only to realise that there are absolutely no Uber drivers anywhere near where I live. Because I live in the country. :-(

The other day, the local police kept tweeting about trying to catch poachers, ffs!

[Pat Vegas]

It wasn't hypochondria, I literally couldn't breath, Jeff! The inhaler was a life saver. Couple of puffs and I was right as rain and back on to the beers*

*one bottle of Asahi

I am so out of shape I saw those Barclays adverts with the old folks playing walking football and thought that would be fun.

I am 34 for **** sake

[Ash]

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

I saw a sticker the other day saying Uber was responsible for over 3,000 rapes and sexual assaults. I wondered whether this was true or propaganda from the union of black cab drivers.

[Monty92]

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

I did Uber Pool last night and it cost me £11.50 from Clerkenwell to Highgate/East Finchley and I got to spend the journey with a sexy Irish lass (the other passenger, i mean. The driver was obviously a rabid beardy Allan).

Uber is ace!

[Burney]

It wasn't hypochondria, I literally couldn't breath, Jeff! The inhaler was a life saver. Couple of puffs and I was right as rain and back on to the beers*

*one bottle of Asahi


You couldn't breathe after 10 minutes' running? That's pretty seriously unfit if so. :-( Can you still manage sexual intercourse?

[Burney]

I did Uber Pool last night and it cost me £11.50 and I got to spend the journey with a tasty irish lass (the other passenger, i mean. The driver was obviously a rabid Allan).

Uber is ace!


It bothers me that there's no umlaut over the 'U', though.

[Pat Vegas]

I got the app only to realise that there are absolutely no Uber drivers anywhere near where I live. Because I live in the country. :-(

The other day, the local police kept tweeting about trying to catch poachers, ffs!

I would sign up for it but you still need a licence and expensive insurance.

Seems like in the US any old mental can just sign up and do it.

[Pat Vegas]

You couldn't breathe after 10 minutes' running? That's pretty seriously unfit if so. :-( Can you still manage sexual intercourse?

:hehe: apparently not according to his recent story.

[Monty92]

I saw a sticker the other day saying Uber was responsible for over 3,000 rapes and sexual assaults. I wondered whether this was true or propaganda from the union of black cab drivers.

My driver last night was telling me that from next year TfL are making every Uber driver in London take an English test. If they fail, they can't work for Uber.

I have no idea if this is true, but it strikes me as a potential opening of Pandora's box if so.

[Burney]

I saw a sticker the other day saying Uber was responsible for over 3,000 rapes and sexual assaults. I wondered whether this was true or propaganda from the union of black cab drivers.

Very much the latter, I'm guessing. Although, to be fair, the combination of drunk white women alone in cars with Allans makes a bit of rape and sexual assault inevitable imo.

Is the union of black cab drivers like the society for black lawyers?

[Monty92]

You couldn't breathe after 10 minutes' running? That's pretty seriously unfit if so. :-( Can you still manage sexual intercourse?

I was wearing a massive overcoat and it was very cold. I also haven't been running for about a year.

So yes, I am very unfit, but the conditions were not in my favour either.

[Pat Vegas]

Very much the latter, I'm guessing. Although, to be fair, the combination of drunk white women alone in cars with Allans makes a bit of rape and sexual assault inevitable imo.

Is the union of black cab drivers like the society for black lawyers?

Black Cabs Matter!

[Burney]

I was wearing a massive overcoat and it was very cold. I also haven't been running for about a year.

So yes, I am very unfit, but the conditions were not in my favour either.

What sort of 'massive overcoat'? 370

And since when was 'it was very cold' an excuse for not being able to run?

[Monty92]

Black Cabs Matter!

No justice, no going south of the river at this time of night, guv'nor!

[Monty92]

What sort of 'massive overcoat'? 370

And since when was 'it was very cold' an excuse for not being able to run?

Extreme changes in temperature can fu*k with your breathing. Have you never got home after running in the cold and had a coughing fit?

Also, I was deeply traumatised and experiencing profound guilt about the poor doggy. It's a surprise I didn't have a major panic attack.

[Pat Vegas]

Extreme changes in temperature can fu*k with your breathing. Have you never got home after running in the cold and had a coughing fit?

Also, I was deeply traumatised and experiencing profound guilt about the poor doggy. It's a surprise I didn't have a major panic attack.

This happened to me once when I got into a pool in Las Vegas.
I couldn't breathe as it was ice cold. Everyone thought I was pretending but it was most unpleasant. They assumed I was scared of the pool :-(

[Sir C]

Extreme changes in temperature can fu*k with your breathing. Have you never got home after running in the cold and had a coughing fit?

Also, I was deeply traumatised and experiencing profound guilt about the poor doggy. It's a surprise I didn't have a major panic attack.

'Extreme cold'? Were you in the Antarctic?

[Burney]

Extreme changes in temperature can fu*k with your breathing. Have you never got home after running in the cold and had a coughing fit?

Also, I was deeply traumatised and experiencing profound guilt about the poor doggy. It's a surprise I didn't have a major panic attack.

There wasn't even a frost last night, m. Stop making excuses for being a poove.

[Luis Anaconda]

I am so out of shape I saw those Barclays adverts with the old folks playing walking football and thought that would be fun.

I am 34 for **** sake

:hehe: You've made me feel a lot better about thinking that as well, p, if that is any consolation. 45 last Saturday :(

[Burney]

'Extreme cold'? Were you in the Antarctic?

:nod: Here's a pic of last night's events.

371

[Maravilloso Marvo]

I did Uber Pool last night and it cost me £11.50 from Clerkenwell to Highgate/East Finchley and I got to spend the journey with a sexy Irish lass (the other passenger, i mean. The driver was obviously a rabid beardy Allan).

Uber is ace!

I got an Uber pool a little while back. The driver kept rejecting the opportunity to pick up a second person en route. I didn't mind as it meant I got the car to myself and kept the most direct route but for the price of a pool.

So I asked the driver why he kept rejecting the second person and this is what he said to me. "If I take one ride, Uber take 20% off me. But if I take a second ride, it takes 35% off the first ride and also 35% off the second ride. There is no way I am going to give 70% to Uber......"

I was speechless, I was just about to explain how his maths might be a little bit out when I fell asleep until we got to my house.

[Pat Vegas]

I got an Uber pool a little while back. The driver kept rejecting the opportunity to pick up a second person en route. I didn't mind as it meant I got the car to myself and kept the most direct route but for the price of a pool.

So I asked the driver why he kept rejecting the second person and this is what he said to me. "If I take one ride, Uber take 20% off me. But if I take a second ride, it takes 35% off the first ride and also 35% off the second ride. There is no way I am going to give 70% to Uber......"

I was speechless, I was just about to explain how his maths might be a little bit out when I fell asleep until we got to my house.

Hello Marvo how are you?

[Maravilloso Marvo]

Hello Marvo how are you?

Hi Fash, I'm good thanks. How are you? I trust the wife is well, no plans for a little Fashy to come along anytime soon?

[World's End Stella]

Extreme changes in temperature can fu*k with your breathing. Have you never got home after running in the cold and had a coughing fit?

Also, I was deeply traumatised and experiencing profound guilt about the poor doggy. It's a surprise I didn't have a major panic attack.

Given the way that he criticizes others so easily, it always makes me smile and increases my respect for Monty when he admits he's a bit of a nutter i.e. OCD.

Maybe one day Burney will have that level of confidence. :-)