I've just received a passive-aggressive fraud email

[Burney]

Frankly, Mohsen can fùcking whistle for his bank details if that's his attitude. :-(


Dear Ahmed

Kindly correct the attached bank details so that we can proceed with the
last payment. And I'm not happy with your work.
You delayed the delivery by two months./You have done nothing to reduce
delivery times.
You showed a complete lack of professionalism in executing my order.
We have to pay the penalty for missed deadlines of delivery.

Mohsen.

[TheCurly]

Frankly, Mohsen can fùcking whistle for his bank details if that's his attitude. :-(

I'd pay him b
seems like he'll be round your gaff post-haste

[Burney]

I'd pay him b
seems like he'll be round your gaff post-haste

It's one thing trying to fraudulently obtain my bank details and empty my account, c, but traducing Ahmed's professionalism is going too far imo.

[redgunamo]

I'd pay him b
seems like he'll be round your gaff post-haste

And anyway, Christmas is coming; I want a wooden train set, a new set of playing cards and a harmonica.

[Burney]

And anyway, Christmas is coming; I want a wooden train set, a new set of playing cards and a harmonica.

Oooh, that's a point. Are we able to have Christmas smilies anymore?* I suspect not. :-(

*I realise that as a moderator this is the sort of thing I should be answering rather than asking, but still.

[redgunamo]

Oooh, that's a point. Are we able to have Christmas smilies anymore?* I suspect not. :-(

*I realise that as a moderator this is the sort of thing I should be answering rather than asking, but still.

Good God! Why ever not?

It's the only reason I agreed to join this dirty, fraudulent new board in the first place.

Sort it, captain!

[Pat Vegas]

Oooh, that's a point. Are we able to have Christmas smilies anymore?* I suspect not. :-(

*I realise that as a moderator this is the sort of thing I should be answering rather than asking, but still.

I like my offer of being a moderator was completely ignored.

[Burney]

I like my offer of being a moderator was completely ignored.

Ah, but moderation is a job for those of us who are past our prime, f. Not vigorous young thrusters like yourself.

Good to hear your bum grapes are on the mend, btw. Did you go for the old Anusol?

[Pat Vegas]

Ah, but moderation is a job for those of us who are past our prime, f. Not vigorous young thrusters like yourself.

Good to hear your bum grapes are on the mend, btw. Did you go for the old Anusol?

I am pretty much over the hill. (not suggesting anybody else on here is) though I could sort it out with a bit of effort I suppose.

I didn't buy any products in the end. Whilst no shortage of pharmacies in Italy I decided to let nature take it's course.

It's just a mild burn at times now.

[Burney]

I am pretty much over the hill. (not suggesting anybody else on here is) though I could sort it out with a bit of effort I suppose.

I didn't buy any products in the end. Whilst no shortage of pharmacies in Italy I decided to let nature take it's course.

It's just a mild burn at times now.

Oh, such an event is no time for coyness, f. You must get all the medicaments you can up there. Next time promise me you'll score some ointment. You'd have got better much quicker if you had.

[Pat Vegas]

Oh, such an event is no time for coyness, f. You must get all the medicaments you can up there. Next time promise me you'll score some ointment. You'd have got better much quicker if you had.

Will do. i had a poke around but couldn't feel any grapes as such. it was a bit strange.

I told my wife under no circumstances come into the bathroom whilst I am doing this I couldn't think of less romantic sight.

[Burney]

Will do. i had a poke around but couldn't feel any grapes as such. it was a bit strange.

I told my wife under no circumstances come into the bathroom whilst I am doing this I couldn't think of less romantic sight.

This is why locks on bathroom doors exist, f. :-( It won't necessarily manifest as a lump, as it may simply be a fissure or tear. Equally, the lump may be internal rather than external. However, what is clear is that you have had your first brush with Nobby Stiles. He is a harsh taskmaster and no mistake.

[Pat Vegas]

This is why locks on bathroom doors exist, f. :-( It won't necessarily manifest as a lump, as it may simply be a fissure or tear. Equally, the lump may be internal rather than external. However, what is clear is that you have had your first brush with Nobby Stiles. He is a harsh taskmaster and no mistake.

I blame the stupid Italian toilet. it was very high up causing me to take a dump in a strange position.

I gave the bidet ago not bad at all.

[Burney]

I blame the stupid Italian toilet. it was very high up causing me to take a dump in a strange position.

I gave the bidet ago not bad at all.

You should have filled the bidet with iced water and soothed your tortured knothole therein.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Ask the man who annoys you in the toilets to take a look and inspect for piles