People who should get a job as a stripper:

[Sir C]

1. The jock bird off that baking programme.
2. Allegra Mcavity (for the lols)

[Burney]

Jock bird? Flora? Oh, yes, I liked her. But then I started to think that she looked a bit like she might have manky breath and went off her :-(

Allegra McEvedy doesn't even bear thinking about bare. Can you imagine?

[Sir C]

I have a suspicion that Flora is hirsute in the underarm and 'private pussy areas', as my dad who wrote a porno would put it.

Allegro must have those back tits, mustn't she? As she swung around the sweat from her belly rolls might fly off and spatter your face.

[Burney]

A veritable sporran down there, I'd say. I think making sweet sweet love with Allegra would be like those times when you played rugby and accidentally got involved in a maul and were suddenly clamped amongst flabby, grunting, thickset forward types - alien, scary, confusing and unpleasant, in other words. :-(

Do you like the podcast, then?

[Sir C]

Listened to the first one on my way to a meeting this morning and chuckled all the way. Lovely and gentle, I thought.

Mind you, if my father had written that filth I'd never have spoken to him again. Dirty old bugger.

[Burney]

It has honestly on occasion reduced me to helpless laughter in public places.