When I hired my first actual employee a couple of months ago, I was quite chuffed

[Monty92]

Now I have to sack him (for being a bit ****), and it all seems like a horrible idea.

I might just change my phone number and ignore his emails.

Turns out I'm not cut out to be a leader of men (or even one solemn, soul-sapping middle aged man who would be central casting for a role in a Kaufman film) :-(

[Ash]

Now I have to sack him (for being a bit ****), and it all seems like a horrible idea.

I might just change my phone number and ignore his emails.

Turns out I'm not cut out to be a leader of men (or even one solemn, soul-sapping middle aged man who would be central casting for a role in a Kaufman film) :-(

Did you say "this is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you"?

That always works well.

[redgunamo]

Now I have to sack him (for being a bit ****), and it all seems like a horrible idea.

I might just change my phone number and ignore his emails.

Turns out I'm not cut out to be a leader of men (or even one solemn, soul-sapping middle aged man who would be central casting for a role in a Kaufman film) :-(

You need to get used to it quick, imo, if it's your money.

[The Jorge]

Now I have to sack him (for being a bit ****), and it all seems like a horrible idea.

I might just change my phone number and ignore his emails.

Turns out I'm not cut out to be a leader of men (or even one solemn, soul-sapping middle aged man who would be central casting for a role in a Kaufman film) :-(

Did he accidentally look in your forbidden drawer?

http://static1.squarespace.com/static/55c1edb8e4b06ce2b217a5a1/t/57323fb3a3360c6b87c927ae/1462911448960/

[Burney]

Now I have to sack him (for being a bit ****), and it all seems like a horrible idea.

I might just change my phone number and ignore his emails.

Turns out I'm not cut out to be a leader of men (or even one solemn, soul-sapping middle aged man who would be central casting for a role in a Kaufman film) :-(

:-( It's in my top 5 of ****tiest things I've ever had to do. Not at the top, but certainly in one of the the Champions League spots. It's a genuinely soul-sullying experience and anyone who can do it without it bothering them should be behind bars.

[Monty92]

:-( It's in my top 5 of ****tiest things I've ever had to do. Not at the top, but certainly in one of the the Champions League spots. It's a genuinely soul-sullying experience and anyone who can do it without it bothering them should be behind bars.

He's only a freelancer too, so it’s not like I’m turfing him on the scrapheap. But I think this gig represented something of an upturn in fortune for him (he’s estranged from his son and his last business venture went down the ****ter) so I do feel bad. But I reckon I can find someone better for half the price, so it's a no-brainer :-(

[redgunamo]

He's only a freelancer too, so it’s not like I’m turfing him on the scrapheap. But I think this gig represented something of an upturn in fortune for him (he’s estranged from his son and his last business venture went down the ****ter) so I do feel bad. But I reckon I can find someone better for half the price, so it's a no-brainer :-(

Yes, that's the way. The key question should always be What's in it for me.

[IUFG]

If he's 'only' a freelancer he's not an employee and you are not firing him. Merely, no longer offering him work (of which you have no obligation).

Get over yourself, you big, ****ing wuss.

[Burney]

He's only a freelancer too, so it’s not like I’m turfing him on the scrapheap. But I think this gig represented something of an upturn in fortune for him (he’s estranged from his son and his last business venture went down the ****ter) so I do feel bad. But I reckon I can find someone better for half the price, so it's a no-brainer :-(

Mine was a bloke who'd had a steady job for ages, two kids and saw what I was offering as a chance to move up a few gears. I sent him to the states in his first week and he came back claiming there were no stories :-| I then had holiday booked, so tasked him with minding the shop and doing a few features while I was off. I came back to utter chaos and his features were dog****. He was off for a week's holiday when I decided to sack him, so I had a good long time to think about it. He came in and before he sat down, I called him into the office and sacked him. He pretty much begged me not to. :-(
Then I had to stand over him while he cleared his desk and take his pass and all that off him. :-(
I then had to walk to the car park barrier so that I could swipe him out.
It was ****ing horrible.

[IUFG]

Then I had to stand over him while he cleared his desk and take his pass and all that off him. :-(
I then had to walk to the car park barrier so that I could swipe him out.
It was ****ing horrible.

'Housekeeping', b.

Someone has to do it...

[Burney]

'Housekeeping', b.

Someone has to do it...

Yes. Not having to do all that **** oneself is, I suspect, the main reason people hire HR people ;-)

[IUFG]

we are here to sweep up your **** management, generally ;-)

[The Jorge]

Yes. Not having to do all that **** oneself is, I suspect, the main reason people hire HR people ;-)

Yes, yes it is. There's a burgeoning industry in HR people schooled in the dark arts of all of this. The guy that freed me from my Civil Service chains is hiring himself out for just south of a monkey a day.

[Burney]

we are here to sweep up your **** management, generally ;-)

:hehe: To be fair, I would argue that that was more a bad decision than bad management. His track record, references and whatnot said he should have been competent for the role. He just turned out not to be.

If anything, getting rid of him quickly rather than hanging on to him for ages in the forlorn hope that he would adapt was probably good management. :shrug:

[IUFG]

'tis about the going rate for a decent person...

[IUFG]

No point polishing a turd, b.

And, if rolling them in glitter doesn't work - get rid.

[The Jorge]

'tis about the going rate for a decent person...

Yes, or so I hear. That said, this chap is not really what anyone could class a decent person

[Burney]

Yes, yes it is. There's a burgeoning industry in HR people schooled in the dark arts of all of this. The guy that freed me from my Civil Service chains is hiring himself out for just south of a monkey a day.

I told you about the one who - during the biggest worldwide economic downturn the world had seen since the war - told me she was really enjoying her role at the moment, as it was giving her a chance to put her full skill set to good use (i.e. laying ****loads of people off). That woman, I firmly believe, was a thoroughgoing psychopath.

[IUFG]

I must admit, I have met a lot of HR people who are absolute monsters (and mainly female) tbh.

Wouldn't recognise fairness and natural justice if it tweaked their nipples.

[Ash]

I told you about the one who - during the biggest worldwide economic downturn the world had seen since the war - told me she was really enjoying her role at the moment, as it was giving her a chance to put her full skill set to good use (i.e. laying ****loads of people off). That woman, I firmly believe, was a thoroughgoing psychopath.

Funnily enough, I had one of those too, at my previous place which liked a mass redundancy cull now and then. Especially when a world recession provided a convenient excuse. She too was delighted to grasp the moment for which she had been trained. It's almost as if HR attracts a certain type of person. Like coppers. And dentists.

[Chief Arrowhead]

George Costanza approach: "It's not you, it's me."