Summer is upon us; let the grilling and smoking commence!

[Sir C]

In a water filter stylee, check this special offer on the only charcoal worth buying. You can trust me in this matter, follow my advice and you will be indebted to me forever. Amen.

https://www.ocado.com/webshop/product/Big-K-Restaurant-Grade-Charcoal/266898011?from=shop&tags=|20000|21411|137850|157406|157407&parentContainer=|21411|137850|157406|157407_LISTVI EW

[Pat Vegas]

That's what they did in Alberta now look what's happened.

[Burney]

In a water filter stylee, check this special offer on the only charcoal worth buying. You can trust me in this matter, follow my advice and you will be indebted to me forever. Amen.

https://www.ocado.com/webshop/product/Big-K-Restaurant-Grade-Charcoal/266898011?from=shop&tags=|20000|21411|137850|157406|157407&parentContainer=|21411|137850|157406|157407_LISTVI EW

Ah, but...

http://www.chefsrange.co.uk/accessories-/-big-k-rch15-restaurant-grade-lumpwood-charcoal/?gclid=CLPOmfbNxcwCFYIK0wodBCoEiA#.VyyjTYS-S-I

[Sir C]

Ah, but...

http://www.chefsrange.co.uk/accessories-/-big-k-rch15-restaurant-grade-lumpwood-charcoal/?gclid=CLPOmfbNxcwCFYIK0wodBCoEiA#.VyyjTYS-S-I

Oh my dear chap! That is the amateur stuff. The BEST grade restauarnt quality is an entirely different product.

A little naive, if you'll forgive me :-(

[Burney]

Oh my dear chap! That is the amateur stuff. The BEST grade restauarnt quality is an entirely different product.

A little naive, if you'll forgive me :-(

Meh. It's just charcoal, innit.

Did I tell you I got a double rear-ending this morning?

[Pat Vegas]

Meh. It's just charcoal, innit.

Did I tell you I got a double rear-ending this morning?

Ah one of those long rubber ones that has 2 ends?

Oh i see what you mean.

[Pokster]

Meh. It's just charcoal, innit.

Did I tell you I got a double rear-ending this morning?

You're not going to go all Monty on us and bore us to death with your insurance scam?

[Sir C]

Meh. It's just charcoal, innit.

Did I tell you I got a double rear-ending this morning?

You won't say that when we've got a pig suspended over it.

A double-ending? Poor chap. Do you have injuries? Is the vehicle lightly dinged or ****ed?

[Burney]

You won't say that when we've got a pig suspended over it.

A double-ending? Poor chap. Do you have injuries? Is the vehicle lightly dinged or ****ed?

I was crawling along in traffic when suddenly I feel an impact in my rear. At first I thought I'd stalled it. Then it happened again.

Turns out the Mazda MX5 behind me had been hit by a lorry and gone into me. And then it went into it again. The damage is incredibly light as far as I can see, amounting to just a couple of tiny scratches on my paintwork. So light is it, in fact, that I'm wondering whether to bother claiming.

[Pokster]

I was crawling along in traffic when suddenly I feel an impact in my rear. At first I thought I'd stalled it. Then it happened again.

Turns out the Mazda MX5 behind me had been hit by a lorry and gone into me. And then it went into it again. The damage is incredibly light as far as I can see, amounting to just a couple of tiny scratches on my paintwork. So light is it, in fact, that I'm wondering whether to bother claiming.

But the shooting pain in your neck b, must be awful imo

[Jake]

In a water filter stylee, check this special offer on the only charcoal worth buying. You can trust me in this matter, follow my advice and you will be indebted to me forever. Amen.

https://www.ocado.com/webshop/product/Big-K-Restaurant-Grade-Charcoal/266898011?from=shop&tags=|20000|21411|137850|157406|157407&parentContainer=|21411|137850|157406|157407_LISTVI EW

When you're using a fine piece of kit like the egg you want something from these boys:

http://thelondonlogcompany.blogspot.co.uk/

I'm going to the butcher after work. No animal is safe.

[Burney]

But the shooting pain in your neck b, must be awful imo

No, you see I am both a real man who doesn't believe in 'whiplash injuries' and am not a thieving little scrounger looking to gouge every penny out of my fellow humans that I possibly can.

[Sir C]

I was crawling along in traffic when suddenly I feel an impact in my rear. At first I thought I'd stalled it. Then it happened again.

Turns out the Mazda MX5 behind me had been hit by a lorry and gone into me. And then it went into it again. The damage is incredibly light as far as I can see, amounting to just a couple of tiny scratches on my paintwork. So light is it, in fact, that I'm wondering whether to bother claiming.

Bear in mind that the leasing company will check it carefully for damage when you return it though.

[Pat Vegas]

No, you see I am both a real man who doesn't believe in 'whiplash injuries' and am not a thieving little scrounger looking to gouge every penny out of my fellow humans that I possibly can.

you could sue them for causing self doubt. The incident made you think you had stalled the car.

[Sir C]

When you're using a fine piece of kit like the egg you want something from these boys:

http://thelondonlogcompany.blogspot.co.uk/

I'm going to the butcher after work. No animal is safe.

Very nice. Very nice indeed.

[Burney]

Bear in mind that the leasing company will check it carefully for damage when you return it though.

But I've got paintwork cover as part of the leasing agreement, surely?

[Burney]

you could sue them for causing self doubt. The incident made you think you had stalled the car.

This is a good point, f, but I quickly dismissed the idea, knowing my clutch control to be immaculate.

[Sir C]

But I've got paintwork cover as part of the leasing agreement, surely?

Depends on your agreement. BVRLA return standards generally specify a particular length and depth of scratch for which they can charge. Best ask the question imo.

[Burney]

These are less than a centimetre long.

[Pat Vegas]

WD40 will get rid of them.

According to some bloke on youtube.

[The Jorge]

I was crawling along in traffic when suddenly I feel an impact in my rear. At first I thought I'd stalled it. Then it happened again.

Turns out the Mazda MX5 behind me had been hit by a lorry and gone into me. And then it went into it again. The damage is incredibly light as far as I can see, amounting to just a couple of tiny scratches on my paintwork. So light is it, in fact, that I'm wondering whether to bother claiming.

Surely the MX5 was rammed full of nigh on fifty albanian terrorists

[Sir C]

These are less than a centimetre long.

Fine. But it's not me you need to convince.

You know how you'll moan when they give you a bill.

[Pat Vegas]

Surely the MX5 was rammed full of nigh on fifty albanian terrorists

:hehe: Or they do like a early 2000's VW.

[Burney]

Fine. But it's not me you need to convince.

You know how you'll moan when they give you a bill.

Oh, ffs! So now I have to **** about with insurance companies? :-( *******s.

[Sir C]

Oh, ffs! So now I have to **** about with insurance companies? :-( *******s.

No, you need to check with your leasing company whether such small scratches fall within their definition of acceptable return condition.

[Burney]

Surely the MX5 was rammed full of nigh on fifty albanian terrorists

No. Just a rather harassed man called Neil. He seemed a bit upset as his pride and joy was all dented and cracked. Serves him right for driving a girl's car imo.

[Burney]

No, you need to check with your leasing company whether such small scratches fall within their definition of acceptable return condition.

Oh, OK. I'll do that tomorrow, then. Cheers.

[The Jorge]

No. Just a rather harassed man called Neil. He seemed a bit upset as his pride and joy was all dented and cracked. Serves him right for driving a girl's car imo.

Yes, I suspect Neil didnt get the memo about the mandatory vulva required to drive one.

Speaking of which, my OH has replaced here mandatory vulva car with a VW Eos, which is like a nice version of the Pasaaaat

[Sir C]

No. Just a rather harassed man called Neil. He seemed a bit upset as his pride and joy was all dented and cracked. Serves him right for driving a girl's car imo.

Driven hard, an MX5 is one of the most entertaining cars money can buy. Any money. The combination of relatively low power, lightness, proper old-fashioned rear wheel drive oversteer and skinny tyres makes the thing truly good fun at reasonably low speeds. But it looks like the conveyance of a steaming great pooftah. :-(

[Sir C]

Oh, OK. I'll do that tomorrow, then. Cheers.

Don't tell them someone hit you; themoment they hear that they'll demand that you claim. Just tell them you've noticed some small scratches...

[Burney]

Yes, I suspect Neil didnt get the memo about the mandatory vulva required to drive one.

Speaking of which, my OH has replaced here mandatory vulva car with a VW Eos, which is like a nice version of the Pasaaaat

Nonsense. It lacks the gravitas of the Passat. It looks a bit squashed. Even so, it must be galling that your chick has a better car than you, no?

[SWv2]

Driven hard, an MX5 is one of the most entertaining cars money can buy. Any money. The combination of relatively low power, lightness, proper old-fashioned rear wheel drive oversteer and skinny tyres makes the thing truly good fun at reasonably low speeds. But it looks like the conveyance of a steaming great pooftah. :-(

Driving is never fun unless you're on the dodgems.

[Sir C]

Yes, I suspect Neil didnt get the memo about the mandatory vulva required to drive one.

Speaking of which, my OH has replaced here mandatory vulva car with a VW Eos, which is like a nice version of the Pasaaaat

I was at the motor show when that was launched. It was on a turntable, slowly revolving, and I swear that after a couple of revolutions I couldn't work out which end was the front and which the back.

[Burney]

Driven hard, an MX5 is one of the most entertaining cars money can buy. Any money. The combination of relatively low power, lightness, proper old-fashioned rear wheel drive oversteer and skinny tyres makes the thing truly good fun at reasonably low speeds. But it looks like the conveyance of a steaming great pooftah. :-(

Yes. But only people like you actually care about all that silly driving stuff. The rest of us are much more concerned about not looking like heemasexes. I'll bet there aren't any heemasexes with VW Passats. They're put off by its rugged manliness and clear heterosexuality.

[Sir C]

Driving is never fun unless you're on the dodgems.

Driving is lots of fun to millions of other people, sw. Your personal deficiencies in the Manly areas are for you to deal with.

[Sir C]

Yes. But only people like you actually care about all that silly driving stuff. The rest of us are much more concerned about not looking like heemasexes. I'll bet there aren't any heemasexes with VW Passats. They're put off by its rugged manliness and clear heterosexuality.

Yes, it's like you're over-compensating.

There's nothing wrong with it, b.

[Burney]

Yes, it's like you're over-compensating.

There's nothing wrong with it, b.

I think the moral is clear. When a pooftah's car attempts to rear-end a proper man's car like the Passat, the Passat is not having it and the rear-ender will come away from the encounter very much the worse for wear.

[SWv2]

Driving is lots of fun to millions of other people, sw. Your personal deficiencies in the Manly areas are for you to deal with.

Are you the type of person who will get in your car on a weekend and just “go for a drive”???

[Sir C]

Are you the type of person who will get in your car on a weekend and just “go for a drive”???

No.

You use buses, don't you?

[Pat Vegas]

Are you the type of person who will get in your car on a weekend and just “go for a drive”???

I quite enjoy it. Certain places I dread going to in the car but I like it. It's like a video game for me.

[The Jorge]

Nonsense. It lacks the gravitas of the Passat. It looks a bit squashed. Even so, it must be galling that your chick has a better car than you, no?

:hehe: It's not my fault you have yet to be party to the magnificence of The Jag. I'm booking it into the body shop next week with my ******LOOOOLLLLL FRREEEEE MOONNEEEY ******* from the insurance people.

[The Jorge]

Those things always remind me of The Homer.

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/28/5/grid-cell-17338-1372412277-5.jpg

The Eos does have a very clever roof though, I'll give it that

[Burney]

Are you the type of person who will get in your car on a weekend and just “go for a drive”???

Do people still do that? I would have thought that the idea of driving for pleasure in this country went out with double-declutching and the canvas-backed driving glove?

[SWv2]

No.

You use buses, don't you?

No actually, unless there is a Luas strike which is quite often these days.

[SWv2]

Do people still do that? I would have thought that the idea of driving for pleasure in this country went out with double-declutching and the canvas-backed driving glove?

I think we both know "people" do.

Semi-Dutch white wine drinkers who also dye their hair.

Them.

[Burney]

No actually, unless there is a Luas strike which is quite often these days.

Trams. :-(

[Sir C]

No actually, unless there is a Luas strike which is quite often these days.

That's a form of public transport, is it?

Are you a homeless, sw?

[SWv2]

Trams. :-(

A necessity I am afraid as part of the daily commute. A mere 10-15 minutes from St Stephens Green to Windy Arbour and then I drive from there in my motor in a manly fashion.

I have no fondness for driving, for me it is merely a factor of life in allowing me to get from A to B in order to facilitate C.

[SWv2]

That's a form of public transport, is it?

Are you a homeless, sw?

Don't try and snob it up with me Fauntelroy. I have your number*.

*Not your actual number you understand

[Burney]

A necessity I am afraid as part of the daily commute. A mere 10-15 minutes from St Stephens Green to Windy Arbour and then I drive from there in my motor in a manly fashion.

I have no fondness for driving, for me it is merely a factor of life in allowing me to get from A to B in order to facilitate C.

Sir C will not tolerate this argument. He gives me sad, pitying looks when I suggest that cars are simply tools and don't have souls.

[SWv2]

Sir C will not tolerate this argument. He gives me sad, pitying looks when I suggest that cars are simply tools and don't have souls.

I laugh at bullies like him. Big gay bullies, if indeed there can be such a thing.

[Burney]

I laugh at bullies like him. Big gay bullies, if indeed there can be such a thing.

There are. I've seen them in prison movies.

[Ash]

Do people still do that? I would have thought that the idea of driving for pleasure in this country went out with double-declutching and the canvas-backed driving glove?

I have occasionally taken the car for a stroll to stop it completely seizing up after a long time unused.

[barrybueno]

You ain't no Jew bruv...

learn from Monty and clean up dude

[ITSUPFORGRABSNOW]

In a water filter stylee, check this special offer on the only charcoal worth buying. You can trust me in this matter, follow my advice and you will be indebted to me forever. Amen.

https://www.ocado.com/webshop/product/Big-K-Restaurant-Grade-Charcoal/266898011?from=shop&tags=|20000|21411|137850|157406|157407&parentContainer=|21411|137850|157406|157407_LISTVI EW

They do large sacks of restaurant charcoal at my local farm shop. Lumpwood tends to slip through my Weber grate a lot though

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

I know Wenger is getting a grilling but who is smoking?