Well the good news this weekend is that I have finally, definitively nailed the secret of getting

[Berni]

the authentic-tasting home made doner kebab.

Did anything else happen? http://www.awimb.com/images/smiley_icons/ohwell.gif

[Pokster]

so i have no idea how far i went and how quick it was

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Oddly, they served a 'breakfast' of Hokkien noodles with prawns. I feel quite discombobulated now.

[Berni]

I gave up on my running app in the end. I know how far my route is, so how fast doesn't really bother me now.

[Pokster]

each time i can't be sure.... try to do a 20 mile run later this week :gulp:

[Ashberto]

Same thing happened to me once on a 17 mile walk.

[Berni]

It was alright, actually. But by that stage I had no meaningful sense of what time it was anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Good time?

Oh, and the doner secret is using breast of lamb and mincing it yourself. Anything else just isn't fatty enough. Also, you put the meat in a bain marie inside a tin can for a couple of hours and then finish it off with a blowtorch.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The best pad thai on earth really does come from Thip Samai at Ghost Gate, for example. And for roast duck, Pet Pratchak on Charoen Krung cannot be beaten.

I've heard tell of this tin can / bain marie method.

What of the spicing?

[Berni]

minced cloves of garlic and about 150g of breadcrumbs. That's about it.

I've been worrying about your ringpiece all week, btw. You predicted rectal disaster in our last communication and then I heard nothing more. I had visions of you having prolapsed and being left to the tender mercies of Thailand's proctologists.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

After that som tam Lao, my **** turned into yellow ribbons, and hasn't yet recovered, and I can only taste things if they are drowned in prik nam pla. I have destroyed my taste buds and my bowels.

[Berni]

I know have terrible, terrible images in my head. Your poor wife presumably had to share a bathroom with you as well? :-(

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I'm going to try to cure it with great slabs of steak.

[Berni]

the only things you're able to pass are as dense and compact as a hockey puck.

Can this all just be down to chillis? Surely some other factor must be at work?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

There are bacteria running around in my system that would kill a lesser man in moments. My 'stools' are like the primeval swamp whence flowed all life. It's a miracle I'm able to function at all.

One day at breakfast time, I happened upon a stall with piles of chicken feet. Being a fan of a nice crispy chicken's foot, I ordered a plate.

I was delivered a dish of steamed, whole chicken feet. Pale, clammy, horny, clawy chicken feet. They were chewy, gelatinous and cartilageous and boney and quite, quite repulsive. This is no way for a civilised man to start his day.

[Berni]

Chewing on a chicken's foot is simply not something a civilised man ought ever to do.

I knew a chap who came back from the jungle with a thing called 'jardia', which he claimed made even his farts sickeningly repulsive even to him. So that was nice.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

when I thought, 'f**k me, I'm actually beggin fro hepatitis here.' :hehe:

For the record, the oyster omelette was amazing.

[Berni]

You certainly wouldn't want it baveuse imo.

I think you need to start eating good, plain Irish food. Everything must be boiled.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I need the doctor and a good, fine bolus.