Nothing surprising thus far. The mandatory red card, going a goal behind,

[Paul Vaessen's moment of glory]

and basically ****ting our pants at the sight of Chelsea. We really need a win here. Unless someone from Chelsea gets sent off too, we would be lucky to get a draw. Who knows, maybe a magical Walcott flourish upfront. More likely a second goal in our net though. Come on, you f**k up experts, prove me wrong!

[Mc Gooner]

Might work. Any port in a storm

[Paul Vaessen's moment of glory]