I hate this time of year.

[Pat Vegas]

Too many activities taking place that are outside of my normal routine and I hate it.

f**king Capitalists

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Note I have not seen it.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

then it's christmas, isn't it? It's supposed to be ridiculously sentimental.

This year, however, they have produced something truly offensive. I mean, it doesn't make any sense. How come this bloke can live on the surface of the Moon, for f**k's sake? How come his present gets there by balloon? Balloons don't work in space. And how do the balloons navigate? And how come the telescopes can zoom, and apparently magnify 100 billion times with no light loss?

No no no no. Just not believable.

[Berni]

window, sw. It's challenging stuff, to be fair, but I doubt it could raise a tear even in a committed blubber like Sir C.

[Berni]

man walking around on the moon with no space suit or breathing apparatus, the whole balloon thing was a bit of a sideshow.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

This is how I judge these ads now: on whether they will make you cry. You are the benchmark.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Ashberto]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

If for example one releases a balloon in space.

[Classic Jorge]

Unless something pushes them somewhere.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

This is basic physics, man.

[Berni]

And that a helium balloon and a hammer will behave identically.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

See also shovels.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I did Physics A'Level you know.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

But in space.

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I may take this and pitch it to TV3.

Retire and bid farewell to the rat race.